Friday, February 26, 2016

Three Day Posts

February 22 completed in home PT and passed my final with a grade of twenty five out of twenty eight. Roy figured it out and out it into a number that I'd understand last night. So I made an 89. I think the strength tests kind of surprised the head PT guy because it might not look like it now but being athletic all my life can pay off later in life from time to time and I crushed strength and resistance. I even held back cause the guy is slight of frame. So five weeks ago I broke a hip and recovery and rehab have gone well in those five weeks. Both the Dr and PT guys have cautioned me that once I return to NC, with the extra hills and inclines, it will feel a bit like starting over in some ways and with that in mind I continue working on endurance and confidence.

We had a great surprise last night, the Browns came over bearing supper and they walked over. They too are Rancho de Five residents. Once again, we are blown away and with the wind last night, that would not be hard, by the kindness we have experienced while recuperating.
Yesterday, the blog did not get much attention from me. Peggy texted to see if I wanted to meet some CBS friends for breakfast at The Bagel Cafe. What fun! We met at 10:00 and most of us left at 12:30. I came back home and picked up a few things before Chris got here and then began running a few errands in earnest. I made one last Macy's stop this time going to Macy's in Memorial City sans cane. It certainly makes one feel more aware and yet again I was able to take the escalator up but I didn't feel confident going down it. Found the elevator back in the corner of the second floor and came on down.

Way back in January when I came back for a week...ahem... anyway, I noticed this little round thing underneath one of our front yard trees. I thought it was some kind of ant poison receptacle and didn't think anything about it until last week. Roy mentioned that it made an alarm sound every time he unlocked or locked Sequisha. It never made a sound when I was near it. He picked it up and put it on the bench in the courtyard. It is some kind of motion detector, maybe even a toy. Who knows? Since moving the detector there have been several other items found beneath the tree. It feels like the tree with the knot hole next to the ramshackle Radley home from To Kill a Mockingbird.

I have started the repacking process so that it doesn't jumble up on me later. All the spring decor is back in the closet and now we are thinking through what could come up with me. I think there will be a few pieces of smaller type furniture and of course all the Home Goods stuff. I have so enjoyed this time here in Rancho de Five. I will leave with a renewed appreciation for our home here and remembering the joy we had as it was built. I have loved using the fireplaces both indoors and outside. It has been good being here because a friend who moved here has sold her house and moving north of Houston on her new career path. It has been good to be in her Rancho home again to remember the good times and the joy buying a new home brought her. If I can keep from tripping on the return trip to NC, the next time I'm here, she will have settled into her new home.
Well...I keep having fun things to do and so I have not finished this post. Lisa P came out and we went to the teaching time at CBS so that she and Linita could meet. It was fun to see friends again at Bible study. Lisa and I went to lunch at Lupe's and then we came back here and watched The Best Years of Our Life. It is such a good movie on many levels. Later in the evening Peggy dropped in for a few minutes.

Today I have several appointments and then I again need to return in earnest to re-packing. I can hardly believe that my time here in Katy is coming to a close and soon I will be back in the mountains. My friend Louise called last night to check in. She is a friend from church and we are in Sunday School together.

Now, breakfast is calling and I must go.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Celebrating, Reflecting, Dropping and Writing

I am going to miss watching the mockingbirds that come every morning and perform Mockingbird Lake on the fence. It is an intricate dance and I think it is more about showing off because they both try to look taller and bigger than they are. This used to be dove territory when we had the feeder out there and a mockingbird could clear that feeder in fell swoop but I have noticed out on the green space there are more mockingbirds in residence. Yesterday during a light rain, several were perched in a tree enjoying the water making its way through their feathers.

With the last move of a resistance band and asking the last few questions for continuing strength exercises, in home PT has ended. I celebrated this monumental milestone by going to Office Max and Home Goods. We don't take enough time to celebrate the little hurdles in life. Just now Jonathan called and he is coming this afternoon for me to sign release papers. I also got the impression that if I had not been definite about returning to NC soon, he might have tried to extend the in home PT. It has been helpful but since day one I have been able to do all the exercises without difficulty and it is learning to do the daily things with a bionic hip that has been the most helpful. Endurance work is on my own because you cannot work on that stuff in thirty minutes of time. Endurance is coming slowly but surely. Drew brought up a point that I just might have to consider....since I will soon meet my out of pocket expenses with our insurance, it would be penurious to schedule knee replacement before the end of the year. I am thinking on these things.

So yes, celebrating finishing PT by shopping at Home Goods was a win. Although, that should be my last trip because there might not be enough room in the truck to bring everything back home. You know you're in trouble if you get a cart...heck you are in trouble if you don't get a cart because you will hunt one down because you always find something to buy and the victory take away is this, even though there were some very fine journals, the kind I like with narrow lines, not one of them came home with me. But on a not so victory note, a lamb might have been included in the purchases.

I should have never looked at Twitter and FB this morning because someone who loves everything to be a teachable moment from them, just teachable moment-ed. Argh! And I read it but I learned nothing other than life can be platitudes, the quality of being dull or stupid; a banal, trite or stale remark; a statement that express an idea that is not new. At least this banality has to be in a 140 characters or less.

When he gets home at night after a day in the office, I think Roy relishes his freedom from nursing and caregiver duties. He still has to carry some things for me because of balance and not wanting to fall again and start the whole process over. The only evening requirement now is cooking dinner or bringing dinner home. I am going to miss Tuesday night Popeye's Chicken when I return to NC. Although I am totally capable of ambling about, it is long time standing coupled with daily field trips that makes me inept for kitchen duty. I am hoping that next week I can at least fix one dinner. He has taken such good care of me, encouraged me and brought home surprises to keep me motivated.

I have started writing thank you notes and I tried to write them sooner than this but thinking about the kindness extended to us, I would break down in tears and after that I wasn't much good at writing a note. These past few weeks have held many sentimental moments, moments realizing I might be making a mistake to act on some things, thankful and grateful moments, little moments, big moments and monumental moments. There also came the realization that those who had kind of fallen out of my life and me out of theirs, had fallen for a reason and there wasn't a reason to try and reestablish any communication.

Well, there are chores to be done and some of them I can really do, laundry to be taken care of and Jonathan will be here this afternoon. I pulled out a suitcase and I have begun packing up all the winter things I brought cause I think Houston has turned the corner into spring.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Thank You N.H.L.

I don't remember seeing the movie To Kill A Mockingbird when I was a child, by that I mean going to the movie theater but that doesn't mean I didn't but I remember seeing the movie on TV several times. There were plenty of other things keeping me occupied as a child and those things needed all the attention I had but I do remember the first time I read the book. That would be in my sophomore year in high school, in English class. My finest year was not my tenth grade year as I was acting out in rebellion over just about anything and in my coolness I could not act like the book moved me in anyway. Each year after that introduction I re-read TKAMB many times.

When I learned of Harper Lee's passing yesterday in the best way possible, from my friend Lisa P, that deep, lonely agonizing feeling of loss, had to be masked while waiting in the doctor's office. When Lucille Ba;; and Gilda Radner passed, I had that same feeling as if a family member or loved one had died. Each of these three women had been such an influence throughout the years. In their own way and unknown to them the profound effect they had on my life produced the reverence and grief of loss. I wrote last year about reading Go Set A Watchman and unlike others who were troubled over Atticus in this narrative, I was more interested in who this brave, said what she thought, tomboy of a girl turned out to be as an adult because I had so identified with Scout as a girl. She'd rather be wearing denim and flannel, playing outdoors and rough housing when she needed to fight or defend what she felt was right. I felt the same way with Nancy Drew, she drove a convertible, wanted to solve mysteries and her boyfriend had a great name, Ned Nickerson. There weren't too many other book characters I identified with because I didn't want to have tea or dress up or go to parties, well for the most part. I would have been one frustrated child if I had wanted to do all those things. One year my grandmother gave us girl cousins china tea sets. I still have mine although the box has disintegrated and no, I don't play with it now. In fact, our china is stored away and I think I have played, I mean used it all of maybe five times in almost thirty nine years of marriage. Bunny trail...anyway,

You have to admire Harper Lee, she played and lived by her rules just about her whole life whether we liked her ways or not. Publishers and fans alike wanted more from her and I think we saw what she didn't want to happen last year with the release of Go Set A Watchman. Everyone hyped up talked of nothing else but the release date and then crushing reviews of a book that should have never been published cast the book into oblivion by summers end. How ironic that two mockingbirds have been on the fence while writing this. They are territorial birds that often fight over space and that's what played out on the fence this morning.

Harper Lee has already been buried, a small funeral held at her behest and instruction, in Monroeville, Alabama. Her physical presence hasn't been felt for years but her literary presence overshadows many authors and their work. She still has an effect on students reading her work as required reading. There are many of us who proclaim Mockingbird our favorite book and movie.

I read this week that Pat Conroy is here in Houston battling pancreatic cancer at MD Anderson. The news quite a blow to many who love his work and now his publishing house giving authors another choice or opportunity to be published.

Great writers, agonizing over the printed word and thought and an end result of the direction of life changed in many readers.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

A Spacious Place and A Porch With a View

Ah Saturday, the morning after a Friday where a turn toward home is in the making. I would dance if allowed to do so but walking without a cane around the house is a reality and is highly encouraged. I'm still on a cane in stores and crowds, more for space and a sign to those around me to be careful while in my cone of canedom, but sadly it feels like it doesn't make a world of difference. Only with a cane I am armed and dangerous within swinging distance as long as I find myself on solid ground, flat ground. My feet are thanking me for learning a new way to walk, especially my big toes and yes, I thought everyone needs to know this information about the big toe appreciation going on here. The way I walk now is more mindful which fits right into my word for the year full. The doctor told me we all get into a bad habit with our gait as we....let's say mature. Thus there is more tripping and falling and wishing and hoping....there's a song in that there sentence.

So, I have one more home visit PT, thank the Lord, and then I am released to out patient therapy. The decision will be made next week if I will try and do some out patient work here for several weeks or if I will return to the land that I alert...and involve a third doctor into the healing process and do my out patient work there. They are also looking into a third option of not doing any out patient work because the healing process has gone so well and so much better than they anticipated. Dr Smith likes the confidence I have regained and I agree with him that endurance is what I need to rebuild. I mentioned to him in the appointment yesterday that much of this resistance work they do with me is killing my knee and when the knee feels out of whack, that slows down endurance building work. He agreed with me that aggravating my knee is not in my best interest and he also mentioned the stress from that might trigger afib more often. So, word will come early in the week and then we will be able to make a decision about a return date that is sooner than what they thought it would be. I feel like the horse returning to the barn, focused with that one goal in mind...return.

Yet, I have so enjoyed this time back here in Rancho de Five. It has been so fun seeing friends, often. Socially, this is the busiest I can remember in the recent past of having lunches scheduled or friends dropping by. It almost feels like life when I played competitive tennis in terms of the calendar. Lisa P has been coming out on Friday afternoons and we eat and watch movies...something that I rarely allow myself to do...the watching movies part, believe me, I allow myself to eat, by their fruits ye shall know them. Dena has taken me to lunch and last night she came here bearing gifts of Papa Murphy pizza and ice cream. Peggy and I have had lunches and she was my main driver for all things appointment wise for doctors. Other friends have stopped in CourtneyS, Courtney Mc, Becky S, Geni H, Sherrie B, Bev V, and Jenea K. Roy's friends from COTHA have stopped by too. In between all these social fun times, I have been working on PT exercises and taking care of my cheese enchilada cravings I had for the past six months.

In the midst of being here I also have had quiet moments resulting in me getting to see and experience those timeless themes that God has for our lives. He has used this time emphasizing not to live a small life, with small decisions made in the midst of chaos when it would be much better for to live an open and spacious life with Him which means a more generous life in all that matters. I saw this quote the other day and it goes hand in hand with what I am being taught;

"Let others lead small lives, 
but not you. 
Let others argue over small things,
but not you.
Let others cry over small hurts,
but not you.
Let others leave their future in someone else's hands,
but not you."
Jim Rohn 

I cannot help but think of Psalm 18:19 in recovery and rehab from this broken hip. Being here has physically been a spacious place with lots of room, with no rugs and a huge shower but the spacious place has also been a spiritual one where God has opened my heart to see His desire in living life that brings Him honor and also a life that Psalm 92:12-15 talks about even in old age. Hey, nothing can make you feel old like a cane or walker. 

New International Version
He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.
New Living Translation
He led me to a place of safety; he rescued me because he delights in me.
English Standard Version
He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me.
New American Standard Bible 
He brought me forth also into a broad place; He rescued me, because He delighted in me.
King James Bible
He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me.
Holman Christian Standard Bible
He brought me out to a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me. 

Verse 19. - He brought me forth also into a large place (comp. Psalm 31:8Psalm 118:5). By "a large place" is probably meant open ground, not encompassed by snares, or nets, or enemies in ambush. He delivered me, because he delighted in me. David now proceeds to explain the grounds of God's favour towards him. He begins by summing up all in a word, "God delighted in him." He then goes on to explain the causes of God's "delight" (vers. 20-26) Pulpit Commentary

Friday, February 19, 2016

A Very Early Friday Morning

The original plans for today involved getting up and getting ready to head over to Bible study but when the morning arrived the body just wasn't feeling it. I had pushed too hard yesterday with all the PT and then field trips to increase endurance. The field trips proved to be beneficial in more ways than one. Of course physically doing things and getting back into a recognizable normal and also seeing how vulnerable we really can be. It has also been a good reminder of consciously knowing we need to depend on Him no matter our health or our halt and lameness. To go along with the physical eyes, it seems that so much of what I read these days has a definite theme of path...yep, the two go hand in hand. There are all those path Bible verses that are really some of my favorites and then there is the fiction I've been reading with subplots of paths taken, paths that shouldn't have been taken and paths that the character needed to make for the good of others.

A conversation that Lisa P and I had long ago keeps coming to mind. We talked about how something like cancer or illness or blessings or fortuitous adventure becomes your world. There are a lot of young mother blogs that are so informative to other young mothers that you are not going this alone. In 2005 when it seemed everyone, well not guys, was having that blessed day of female surgery where one can join the white pants club. There were friends who had the surgery before me that were so helpful in letting me know what to expect in the days ahead and then my OB/GYN reminded me to be helpful to those who were having said procedure after me. It was one long encouragement train of friends helping friends that summer and fall of 2005. Right now my world is recovery and rehab world and it colors how I see circumstances and situations. First and foremost I want recovery and rehab world in the distant past. Some people thrive in never wanting to leave the world where others are so instrumental with help to get you through the days and nights. Not me, I want to take up this mat and walk. I'm thankful we have put the walker in the closet and now when I am out and about it is ambling around with a cane but I want the cane to go to the closet too but most likely it will go in the backseat of the truck when the time comes. In gleaning wisdom from others, there are those times a cane is needed not so much for you but to give space from others who are in a hurry or impatient with the slowness of your gait.

It is an early Friday morning, the sun hasn't risen yet. I don't know why I am wide awake at this early hour, but I am. Maybe it's because I have a Dr appointment today and I am excited and anticipating good news. Or it could be I got a good night's rest.

Peggy came over around noon and we solved the world's problems, then we had lunch. We decided to eat at Dekker's in Fulshear. Great outdoor space. As always the food is good and the service a bit slow. You do not want to eat here if you have a definite time frame for activity. Then we went over to Gabby's to check out all the new Easter stuff. Fulshear continues to grow at a rapid pace. It was a bit overwhelming to see all the new construction. I commented that now Hunt Retreat doesn't seem that far away and it isn't.  Just about fifteen minutes away from our house.

We had a quiet evening. Roy is in the middle of a good mystery and I am trying to get interested in a book that got rave reviews but so far it has not drawn me in. We have a repair guy coming again to see if they can fix our stove.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Wednesday's What's Up?

It is a sunny morning out here on the prairie. The birds were up early and singing in the sunrise. Today, I did not get up to enjoy that scene but stayed in bed and took in the song. The days are getting warmer and thus I feel the need to speed up recovery time because I would like to leave without having days of energy zapping from the heat and humidity. Back home is snow and ice and seems a good alternative but I am enjoying these days here in Katy, seeing friends and of course rehabbing the ol' hip on flat ground.

PT was interesting yesterday. We worked hard and while I went through the paces, PT guy told stories from his weekend attending Mike Evan's wedding to his fiance's niece. Yes, Johnny Football was there as well as other players from A&M and around the NFL. I only have PT once more this week and maybe one time next week here at home.

Roy had President's Day off, so soon after PT we left to run a few errands. I have had to be very creative with what I wear since my week in January was just to be that a week, I only brought flannel, sweaters and boots. Macy's online has been a tremendous cheap resource as well as Nordstrom, Target and Academy. Since we were near a Hallmark store we went inside because many stores carry Life is Good t-shirts and how fortunate to find two t-shirts to help round out the meager wardrobe choices. We celebrated at Escalante's and then headed over to The Fresh Market. Once we got home I took a nap. Endurance is getting better each day but recovery is an energy zapper.

Sunday evening I stayed up and watched Now Voyager yet again. I love that movie on so many different levels, the music and lighting are so well done and the story is inspirational on some levels. If a remake was made, I don't think it would be as good because in the 1940's one had to use one's imagination. This is the movie that made lighting a ciggie or rather two ciggies by the man and then handing one to the woman became one of the most romantic things ever if you were a smoker. Back then I think everyone was. I just Googled the movie and found out it is based on a book. Who knew? Well, I am sure many knew but I didn't. For Bette Davis' character, Charlotte Vale, being oppressed and bullied by her mean as a, well I don't know what...mother but to escape and not go back into the trap is indeed worth viewing the movie, although the mother's death does seem to help things along in Charlotte's life.

It is now Wednesday and I never got back to the computer. Sometimes when Roy gets home in the evening he is busy on it, so I knew I could conclude the post sometime soon. I had a fun afternoon with Linda V. She came over and we went to lunch and had a wonderful catch up visit. Since she had a knee replacement about nine weeks ago and with my hip replacement today celebrating four weeks, we were truly the halt and lame and we were darn proud of it!

This morning I had PT and I aced everything I needed to do. After Drew left I did a driving field trip to increase my endurance. It is beginning to feel like I am driving normally again. I still have to get into the truck differently but it gets easier every time. My main concern is looking like an opportunity so I try and get in and out as quickly as possible.

Well, that is about it for today. I am thankful I am four weeks out from surgery and doing well. God's provision and protection is all over my life and for this I am so thankful.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Valentine Sunday

Happy Valentine's Sunday! Roy is playing sabbatical today and it is really nice having him home this morning and not only due to the fact he is fixing a fabulous breakfast. The wind must be blowing consistently this morning because the wind chimes haven't stopped playing their melodious tones.

Last night as I began to fall asleep with the background of noise from WWII on the TV I mentioned to Roy that if all recovery is like what I have experienced with my hip, I wouldn't mind it so much. The dreaded recovery time from a knee replacement has almost immobilized any thought of having it done the past few years. Sure, doing the exercises several times a day is boring yet hard work. Mobility by walker is tedious and Cane-Nan walking is very focused but the social aspect of recovery has been off the charts wonderful! The time I have had here seeing friends has been very special. Lisa P has come out several times to laugh and watch movies with me. Peggy calls and drives me to appointments, with a few drop in visits here and there. Even Dena, who has a very tight schedule these days, has taken me out to lunch several times on those Saturdays when time seems to drag. I love seeing friends from Community Bible Study that have come by, many times bearing dinner and for this we are so very grateful. Yesterday Jenea came by with flowers and a card, but visiting with her was the highlight. We are former co-workers in the Ministry Suite and could rock the cat walk once through the doors and  to our offices. Sherrie came over Thursday with lunch and we had a blast laughing and solving the world's problems. The texts, emails and phone calls so encouraging! I am overwhelmed by cards, my love language, from friends in NC, especially my Sunday School class, cards from friends here and a few cards from my former Life Bible Study class at HFBC.

Yesterday, Emily invited friends to breakfast so we could meet her cousin from Montana. What a fun time! Pecan Grill is fabulous! The cinnamon good! It was also a good test for driving because it is the longest distance I have driven since being permitted to drive. I returned home and rested. Jenea came by and visited with us, such fun and then I went and picked up Dena for a late lunch. We decided on Tony's because it is quiet and you don't have to yell to talk over the noise and of course for me it is all about the cheese enchiladas. Since Dena is building a new home closer to her office, she is beginning to pack and get things ready to go. She said she had packed photo albums and cookbooks the other day and because it is a must do thing, she looked through some of the photos remembering moments in life. She said she looked at several from things and places we have gone and have probably forgotten about. We went back to her house and had dessert from Anything But Bundts or All About Bundts, I don't remember the name of the place but I will never forget the lemon bundt cake we shared. Wow! Delicious!

On this Valentine's Day I am also remembering a Mildred and Gertrude skit we did once for a church Valentine Banquet. The premise of course is Mildred and Gertrude were asked to head up the committee for the Sunday School Valentine Banquet. Our theme, Sweethearts of the Bible...and it of course goes south quickly...naming Abraham, Sarah and Hagar, Jacob, Leah and Rachel, David and his wives, and of course Solomon with his many wives and concubines....ah yes, sweethearts...all of them that we are never to follow exactly but pick and choose the good parts.

This morning I am also thinking about friends in NC. It sounds like a very cold and icy Valentine's Day. I almost feel guilty enjoying the 70 degree weather here on the prairie. I am anxious to get back and see everyone and of course Buddy. But, I can't go back until I can climb stairs and I am working very diligently on that. I'm thinking too I will need to park in the flat parking lot at church when I first get back, that is until I get my mountain legs again.  Okay, who am I kidding, never had mountain legs, what about slight incline legs?

On this particular Valentine's Day I am so thankful for Roy. He is a sweetheart! He has gone beyond the call to help me recover from surgery and regain confidence in walking and driving. Roy made my favorite breakfast this morning and we have laughed about things political and churchy as we ate. I love the card he gave says..."Our Life Doesn't Look Like Everybody Else's. It Looks Like Us. I Like Us."  He is the best and I love him!

Friday, February 12, 2016

Still...Still and Be Still...There is a Difference

It is a little before noon and it has already been a full morning. PT was a little earlier than usual to accommodate PT guy's schedule today. We mainly did resistance work and I think we are slowly but surely coming to the end of home PT. I am ready to move to the next level. As soon as he left I headed over to Academy to try a field trip there when it isn't so crowded. It looks like Academy has changed up its merchandise quite a bit and since nothing appealed to me, I went over to the shoe dept to see what if anything fun might be there. Okay, comfortable shoes are not fun but since I have tennis shoes and boots, I need to find something that I will wear here and in NC. Found some shoes on sale so we will see how all that works out. Field trip tired me out so it was back home to pay bills. Now I am waiting on Roy to get home and then a trip to Emmanuel for a haircut and I think we might just eat dinner out.

I saw something on Facebook the other day that was rather interesting. In light of Psalm 46:10, Be still and know that I am God, in my reading the other day there was a post about staying away from still people. So stay away from;

  • Still Broke
  • Still Complaining
  • Still Borrowing
  • Still Hating
  • Still Childish
  • Still Insecure
  • Still Stupid
  • Still Not Making a Change In Their Lives
Guess there is a huge difference of being still and knowing and procrastinating on change.  It all goes back to living small lives and making small choices instead of living an expansive and spacious life that only God can give. Now this is for me, but I can see being back here in Houston how easy it is to get sucked into chaos and smallness. Nothing new under the sun. I think the still insecure and still not making change in their lives are two of the most dangerous stills. Insecurity fights with each and every person or thing, real or perceived at any hint of threat to comfort or to what someone has acquired and feels like it could be taken away...again mostly perceived. So still people go around clutching tightly, grasping at it all, trying to control what someone or something is trying to take away. Again, real or perceived. My opinion is it is mostly perception. So the insecure have to tear down others and can choose to be vocal or they can hide those thoughts in their hearts and scatter their insecurity at the deemed opportunistic times. The best is when they spiritualize insecurity and call it discernment. It is kind of sad to watch whether it be from a distance or close up. I had a parent who was and probably still is immensely insecure. They chose to attack strengths in order to produce a mass of insecurity and doubts. After a while you almost get immune to it if you are strong willed and God help you if you are not. But even if you are immune to those attacks on yourself, it is obvious and riles you up a bit when you see it happening to someone else that doesn't really know what to do with the criticism, attacks and put downs. Oops, I totally got off subject here and did a little bunny trail. Oh well.... bottom line watch out for those who are still insecure and haven't seen the light on how this can change in them and make them happier and more pleasant people to be around. And yes, I admit those insecure times happened in me but I'm here to tell you, the wear and tear insecurity takes on is not worth it.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

So Very Blessed

I am actually easing into the day and it is a welcomed respite. Many mornings begin early due to PT or appointments or due to the fact that I am wide awake at an early morning hour. The sunrises have been outstanding and the sky a rich golden hue. The birds are active early and they return toward the evening. The roses we planted several years ago are now so tall and it is the time of year to dead head but I will have to depend on the kindness of Roy to do that cause I don't think a short ramble into the yard is part of the whole field trip experience right now.

Yesterday, I had PT in the morning and we did a lot of resistance band work. I had to stop some of it because it was causing my knee some pain. Then I had a fun field trip of meeting Bev for lunch. We are notorious for our lunches in that they are the longest lunches ever and we don't mind that one bit. Even when we saw each other at Bible study, our lunches have always been long and entertaining. We had such a wonderful time catching up. Bev is such a talented artist and she has three alpacas, one dog and one husband. Ha!  Anyway, she made me a felted heart for tea cups and mugs. It is too beautiful to be an everyday used item. I am thinking it will be proudly displayed in the twin bedroom at the Ander House. I hope that Bev will be able to schedule some time up that way in the fall.

When I got home Chris was finishing up with the house. She had her work cut out for her this week. We were rather messy people. While she finished up in the casita bedroom, I worked on a small project to bring a couple of good laughs for a friend.

Today my friend Sherrie came over with lunch and we had the best time talking and encouraging one another. She helped me with two package deliveries too. Sometimes the courtyard makes me a little unsteady with the extra ridges and stamped concrete.

My iPhone does not know what time it is. It keeps shifting between eastern and central time. Eastern time has caught me unawares several times and I'm wondering where did the time go or sometimes it is, I am running so late.

Roy is making the bold move of putting up the walker tonight. I am only supposed to use it now when I feel really tired. Thankfully, I only feel really tired in the middle of the night when I am sleeping.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

We continue to count our blessings as God is doing a wondrous thing in our lives. This morning my Bible reading was Psalm 46 and once again God's Word fell afresh from very familiar scriptures. I love when that happens.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

On the Right Path

The sunrise out here in Rancho de Five outdid itself this morning. Such warm, golden rays stretching across the sky. The Rancho birds are singing their hearts out this morning. Such lovely accompaniment for breakfast. Chris comes this afternoon which means a few things need to be picked up before she gets here, which I call predustination, what one does before the cleaning lady comes.

Tuesday was a milestone day on the road to recovery. My assignment, if I chose to accept it and I did, was to do a solo jaunt someplace in the near vicinity, jaunt and dismount, walk around and mount up again. I chose Target, mainly due to the fact there were a few things I needed from there. Since this is the land of a thousand minivans, I chose to go early. Thankfully, the first parking space after the handicap parking was open and I took full advantage of having more space to mount and dismount out of the truck. I was also going to Target as Cane-Nan, no walker for me...  I slid out of the truck and stuck the landing, although I forgot to throw my arms up in hindsight that wouldn't have been the wisest decision.  Anyway, into Target and I did precision shopping, not wasting a step or back tracking for any item. I felt so good, that I drove down to Home Goods and did a little walk through. Home Goods wasn't too crowded but it was a very quick stop. Next stop, the ATM for some cash and I was back home within an hour and a half. I returned home rather tired but filled with a sense of accomplishment. I'm concentrating on how I walk because PT Drew says that falling again is my enemy so I am relearning how to walk and stand.

Roy had jury duty yesterday in Richmond. Only one panel was formed but at 12:30 they let everyone go. By the time he got out of the parking garage and home it was nearly 2:00. He was rather happy to be done with that civic obligation.

This morning I am overwhelmed by the kindness of God from the people of God. Since the moment this accident happened, God's provision and protection has been all over this path. I never want to forget His kindness and I want to always remember to be available to being used by Him for others along the way. I am so thankful for the divine appointment that God had for Kim and me at The Lady of the Lourdes Hospital.  We are so thankful for the meals and for those who have been willing to drive me to appointments or just to get me out of the house. I am thankful for those who have come over and spent time with me making the days go by so quickly. We also have some very witty and funny friends and their cards have made my day. My choir friends from Newfound sent a delicious box of treats, fruit, cheese and sweet dainties. My Sunday School class at Newfound has called, sent cards and prayed for me. I have never known a more warm, fun and loving Sunday School class. They made me feel welcomed from the first Sunday I visited and I have it on good authority that they are saving my usual chair for me. Several have offered to help me with chores until I get back my mountain legs and can be functional on our driveway and yard. Today, we worked in PT on getting my hip ready to do stairs.

I am having another field trip today by meeting a friend for lunch. PT Drew told me today that the more I can do my field work, the better off I will be because it makes me stronger and adds to my endurance. Let me run the race with endurance or maybe better yet,let me walk the race, just a path.

Monday, February 8, 2016

Living In Cane-Nan Now

This is an earlier morning than usual. I woke up a little after 5:00 wide awake.  It was another good sleep night and those seem to be more frequent as the days go by and for this I give thanks. Like many of y'all we stayed up and watched the Super Bowl. I'm glad Peyton will be able to leave football on his own terms.

We enjoyed a relaxing Sunday. Roy went to church and I went to webcast church. We also did a little rearranging of things that will be going back to the mountains with me. All the spring decorations went back into the closet and now we are rethinking what will go back in their place. Houston is doing a good job at keeping me cool, in fact I have been downright cold. Those closest to me are probably stunned at that statement. I figure on those days when I struggle at being warm my body is just fighting to get me well.

I think this is my last week of three PT sessions. Next week I begin two times and then graduating to out patient.Drew and I did some hard work today during PT. He increased things with the resistance band and we did a lot of practical things like learning how to get in and out of the truck on the driver's side. We did a lot of cane work today too, so I am calling myself Cane-Nan, although I don't like to be called Nan and I have been singing to myself The Happy Goodman song, Living in Cane-Nan now. Drew is working with me to change the way I walk because the most damage I could do to myself right now is to fall, again. Just like with so many things that we do without thinking, I don't always bring my foot all the way to make a step and because my sense of balance can be off, I can trip up with the cane. I do NOT want to fall again. Haven't fallen since January 18th.  Once I don't have to use the cane, I will have to remember to do these things and work on balance in a very safe manner. Drew is also starting to get me ready for stairs and he gave me a few things to do as I prepare to launch back into independence in the coming months.

Roy and I are so overtaken with gratitude for the kindness we are experiencing. The dinners, the cards, texts, the calls and visits keep me so encouraged and helps Roy so much. I am glad that I can do more each week and he doesn't have to be on caregiver duty round the clock like he did several weeks ago. This whole experience continues to open my eyes and my heart. In the mountain church I attend people there are so generous with love and care. I have watched them as they care for friends and church members by a visit or cookies or whatever the Lord puts in their heart to do. Being there is much more than the check the box attitude that can be seen in much larger churches. Of course in larger churches it almost can't be helped even with great infrastructure for small groups and Sunday School. God help you if you are in a group where someone who has control over decisions concerning ministry doesn't like you cause you will be hung out to dry. You have to ask the Lord to send ravens or angels or someone if you're in dire straights and believe me He will and does.  I am so thankful for Community Bible Study friends who have stepped in and filled the gap and of course close friends from First. A card I got last week from a friend who would be considered one of our closest neighbors in NC has volunteered to come over when I get back and help me with my chores until I am steady and ready. That blows me away because I know without help there are just going to be somethings I will have to modify to take care of things. Right now Buddy is getting the best care from Bill and he sends me videos or pics of Buddy almost everyday letting me know that she is doing well. OK, they fight over what to watch on TV but every cat wants to be in control. Buddy has met her match with this heavily decorated Navy man. He is putting discipline into her life.

Well, I better go to my set of PT exercises. I might do a little solo trip tomorrow and test out my newly acquired skills. The Dr has encouraged me to do a little driving everyday to gain back confidence.

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Field Trip Saturday

There was just that one big flash of lightning and the sound of thunder a little before 5:00 am. Since my phone is next to me on the nightstand, Roy asked for me to look at the radar. The rain would be doing the Cinco Ranch split, with the worst of it north of us and a few yellows on radar to the south of us...we were in the green. So Saturday morning went along as planned. Roy got ready for Bible study and then came back with a couple of donuts for me as a Saturday morning surprise. Yum! There aren't any Shipley's in NC.

We had the joyous experience of Lisa P and CourtneyS coming over yesterday afternoon. CourtneyS came bearing gifts of black eyed peas with sausage, greens, grits and a delicious chocolate pound cake for dessert. It was a meal worthy of breaking a hip for...We all sat around enjoying our lunch and conversation. Since CourtneyS has never seen The Bad Seed, we decided to watch so that she would know the references that Lisa P and I make more times than not about one of our favorite movies. It is so interesting on many levels but just the sheer campiness of it being filmed just like the stage play is so worth it. Roy retreated to the study when we started watching it because he is not a fan. What fun and of course CourtneyS pick right up on so many things and even made us discover some things we had never noticed before. The afternoon went by too quickly but I enjoyed the time tremendously! We took a few pictures to commemorate CourtneyS seeing The Bad Seed. No longer will she say, are y'all quoting from that movie?!

Roy and I spent a lazy evening at home with both of us nodding off while watching TV. Has it come to this?

It is now a beautiful Sunday morning. Roy has gone to church and I am enjoying the quiet and solitude of the morning. I slept very well last night because it was a full Saturday and I welcomed finishing up my book and going to bed around 10:30.

When I saw the Doctor this week he told me I could start working with a cane a little each day and to try and do a little neighborhood driving this weekend. Oh those are the words I longed to hear. So, after Roy went to Bible study and ran a couple of errands, he and I took off to the store for me to pick out a cane. I found a lovely blue one. We continued on with our day by going to Tony's Mexican Restaurant for lunch. I love Tony's! Our favorite waiter Jesse was our server. He brought out some complimentary queso and jalapenos. The lunch rush calmed down a bit and he was able to come by and visit with us. I told him of my attempts at making chili gravy and he laughed at my futile attempts so far. Before we left he brought me a container of chili gravy which we promptly froze when we returned home. Roy needed a little rest before the next portion of the day and honestly, I needed the rest as well.

I began calling this next portion of the day a field trip and I wasn't too sure I would go through with doing it. But, I thought, driving...big deal, it will be just like getting back on a bicycle, except this particular "bike" was more like getting on a too tall boy's bike. Getting into the passenger side of the truck hasn't been a biggie but the driver side and a right side hip replacement make it a bit dicey. I am not supposed to put my full weight on my leg yet. So after a few attempts I finally got behind the wheel and then I realized Peggy had been the last person to drive the truck, so the seat was still set for her. No wonder my legs didn't want to fit underneath the steering wheel. I drove us down to the Exxon station to fill up SequishShaun and then a little drive through Pine Mill Ranch to Spring Green. I drove over to the Academy store, cane in hand and we went inside. In hindsight, Academy on a weekend was not a smart choice. So many people, in such a big hurry and with little consideration for an older type lady walking with a cane. Roy had to act like a fullback and clear the way for me. By the time we got out of Academy and back to the truck, I was spent...exhausted but we both agreed I needed to get behind the wheel and complete my field trip work. It took some maneuvering but I made it. My right leg was so tired and for a brief second I thought I couldn't straighten out my foot, but it was just the way I was sitting. Happy to report I backed the truck into the driveway and then went into the house and sat down for a bit of a rest.

The intel from the field trip, I have made a lot of progress yet I still have a long way to go. There isn't any way I could drive back to NC right now and I'm not released to do that anyway. I see what work needs to be done and I will concentrate even more on my PT work I do on my own. The good thing is Roy is ready for me to drive and I am ready for me to drive. Right now I feel like I could do limited drive through things. It takes me too long to get into and out of the truck to feel safe.

We spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing and I was able to finish my book The Swans of Fifth Avenue, a fictional account of true non-fiction events. It is outside of my usual reading but since it involved Truman Capote and he is considered a southern writer I was kind of in my genre. It was an interesting read about a style of life I have never ever coveted or wanted and really the 1970's just about destroyed the style of ladies who lunched and wanted to be seen at the finest places in NYC. Several times in the story the hard work of staying attractive for the present husband and for husbands to come showed how they married for money and for what it could bring them, thus they starved themselves and denied themselves.  You know this book was totally about "practiced" people. Those who might be wondering how to live a practiced life might like this book. For me, interesting but sad story and sadly on a much lesser scale I knew some of these types when I played tennis. I remember Pastor Gregg in a sermon referenced River Oaks Blvd in Houston, where the ultra rich live and play and he said has anyone ever driven down that street and felt sorry for the people who lived in those huge palatial houses? I could have answered yes, because I knew the lives some of those women lived there on River Oaks Blvd, who were willing to live that way to have the things they wanted but some did get smart and get away...not too many though.

Friday, February 5, 2016

Mama Told Me There Would Be Days Like This

There is a bird that sings right outside our bedroom window just before sunrise. The song it sings is a loud and beautiful one. It has almost been a consistent wake up call for the past week or so. The birds in our side yard keep me entertained as well.

I am not going to lie but yesterday was a tough day. Drew raised PT up another level, which is fine by me but with my endurance encumbered, it can be difficult work resulting in my knee and foot having a bit of a flare up pain wise. Yesterday especially, I felt my knee give way a couple of times. They are letting me put more weight on my right leg and achieving that milestone is so welcomed. This whole hip recovery thing has caused a new normal that neither Roy nor I totally understand and it is a new path for both of us. One of the things he has always liked about me is my independent spirit. We observed while we dated and were first married that the whole dependent thing in some of our friends is what divided them and eventually they divorced. I told Roy that whole I don't know what to do thing while cute when first dating becomes a whole millstone around the neck thing several years down the road when the guy is tired of making each and every decision. I think Roy saw this first hand with his mother and while my mom had been totally capable and at one time had great self esteem, my father wore her down till her whole life wrapped up in and around his and she was afraid to make a move without his approval. So Roy found this attribute attractive of being independent yet knowing I could come to him. Well, here we are thirty eight years into the marriage, going on 39, and the past eight years have held lots of me being dependent on him. First with my heart issues and the resulting domino effect with my health and now after coming back and living life pre-heart virus, the whole hip replacement thing has caused me a greater dependence than even with my heart. So last night in our new normal we encountered a blip on the radar screen we didn't see coming. Several weeks ago I thought I saw a discrepancy with Mission Hospital and Blue Cross from my ER visit in December, I mentioned it to Roy, but he couldn't find what I was talking about. Then last night as we went through the mail, there was a bill from Mission and it reminded me again of the discrepancy, so we looked once again at the papers we had and then out of the blue, Roy was obviously unhappy with me over something. I will tell you this, all this hub bub made me cry, I just lost it because I could not understand why all of the sudden he was so upset and I didn't know what I had done or not done. I think this whole situation took both of us by surprise and so like we have learned to do over the years we began dismantling the pieces of the conversation to see where we diverged. My take was he had brought home a frustration from the office and was acting out the frustration on me. His take was I always paid the bills, why all of the sudden did I want him to get involved and make calls or do research. I didn't really think of hospital and insurance stuff as bills but more like a contract and there isn't anyone better at reading contracts than Roy. He thought I was being passive/aggressive and I thought he was over reacting. Then Roy said something profound, that the new normal contained three types of me and he was confused on where I was on that timeline. There is the independent, not afraid to drive by myself to NC, me; then there is Lafayette Nancy, couldn't do one thing for myself, totally dependent on him and the kindness of strangers; and then there is Katy Nancy, struggling to heal yet knowing especially after seeing Dr Smith, the limitations on forward progress are there for a reason. There is a fine line between progress and setbacks if one isn't careful. Truthfully, he is ready for independent me ( I am ready for that too) and we both know that it is tough on him having to be at the office and then come home straight into a caregiver situation. He has little margin or time for himself. There is always something that needs to be done and looking at insurance stuff was not on his list last night. We were both quick to apologize. Then we celebrated the strides that have been made the past two weeks and how slowly but surely things he has had to help me with has become less and less (thinking back to our first night home.)  That is something we do, celebrate the good, we remember the progress and then we both pledge to be like that verse in Amos, how can two walk together unless they be agreed and I will add it is great to be agreed because the walker can cause strife in the stride. We spent the rest of the evening there on the couch, he reading a mystery and me, well I was watching the conclusion of the Bernie Madoff story.

You might be thinking why did you share all of this Nancy? I will tell you why, to give hope. You see we don't fit in the box that most would like you to fit in. Roy is a great leader but he is not all macho about it. I have a streak of independence but I don't do things contrary to Roy's wishes. We don't have children. I am not a girly girl in the church sense of what a woman is supposed to be like and I question a lot of things have I pretty much let you know what I think or where you stand with me. My greatest joy is not making a casserole and Roy's greatest joy isn't building something. Roy's desire is to walk in love and please God. We didn't figure out how to "discuss" things or solve problems at some church marriage conference, we asked the Lord to show us our willful ways and how we might best do good to one another. There is nothing wrong with getting help from conferences at churches but when you don't fit the stereotype in the first place it might not be all that helpful.

This morning as I have eased into the day Roy and I have talked several times and emailed. We have moved on, forgiving and walking forward being agreed. I am reminded of John 5, do you want to get well. Yeppers!  Don't give excuses of why you can't, look to Jesus and then start searching for that mat you can pick up and move right along, nothing to see here.

Thursday, February 4, 2016


My bandages gone, I've been set free, the next few weeks more mobility. Gonna leave that walker behind, it's becoming plain, I soon will walk with just a cane.

Two weeks to the day from a hip replacement, the staples were removed!  Hallelujah! Not only were the staples removed, I also got back on the horse to speak...Peggy and I had lunch at Cracker Barrel before my appointment. It is really fun to go to lunch with Peggy because most times someone there knows her and it is fun to hear their neighborhood stories from years gone by or teaching together stories. And I get introduced to her friends as her partner in crime. If that doesn't make your heart skip a beat, I don't know what will.  Oops, I really don't want my heart to skip a beat...well, you know what I mean. After we had eaten, we stopped by the trash receptacles to see if any of that edging was little metal piece farther down from the can. I guess I can say truthfully the old adage is true, the bigger they are the harder the fall. Felled by a little piece of metal. We had a little bit of a wait since I think Wednesday mornings are surgery mornings for the Dr. Peggy kept me entertained in the waiting room by telling me stories of her staple removal on her knee. That and we kept ourselves entertained with things on FB that we thought funny.

Finally, I was called back to beyond the golden door and I thought I might have heard Peggy humming taps as I scooted the walker toward the door. First off, X-rays. Thankfully the warm up pants I had on had no metal grommets around the waist so I was spared wearing their lovely X-ray shorts. Three pics later and I was done. The nurse then led me back to the little room and placed all the instruments needed for staple removal. The doctor and his surgical assistant came in and we began discussing what happened, how it happened, treatment in Lafayette and the immediate future on the recovery calendar. Yes, it is hip to be square. I am just now thinking back to how I came to being a patient of Dr Smith's. Methodist Hospital in Katy had an information night on knees and joints and getting older. Dr Smith spoke briefly and I liked his manner and approach to care. So, I made an appointment and we began the injections into my knees. He went to the University of the South in Swanee TN and spent his growing up years in Highlands and Cashiers NC. So, he knows why I am anxious to get back to the mountains. He emphasized yesterday he wanted me to go back and be able to pick up right where I left off but maybe a few adjustments. Oooh, maybe I will get that Gator or Mule I have wanted to take down the trash and ride about in the yard.

I've done PT this morning and once again we did some of the work outside. We walked along the green space and then came in and did resistance and standing exercise. Looks like next week I will have three sessions and the week after that two sessions and I should be released to begin out patient work.

This week I have watched the OJ miniseries and the first part of the Bernie Madoff story. Now I remember why I don't watch drama before going to bed and it is because my brain won't shut off. I keep thinking about the show and how basically everyone should have realized if it is too good to be true, it probably isn't. The second part is on tonight and I will probably watch the conclusion.

Some of you might remember me asking you to pray for Shelby, who was a friend of my niece Erin. She fought the good fight and found her joy this morning around 6:50 am. I read her Caring Bridge journal just last night and read of the unexpected turn but I prayed for healing and for her to once again fight back into life. Well, she did that but into life eternal. Thankful she is a believer and she is with the Lord. But still this young woman who I never even met in person but met her via snap chat with Erin profoundly impacted me. Praying for her family in these tough days ahead.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

God Redeems It All

Even though the sky is now turning from dark to light gray, I can hear the birds out in the trees singing their little hearts out. They must have heard the news that spring will come six weeks early. The past few days have been in the high 70s to low 80s and I can feel the drain on my energy level. For PT tomorrow we are working outside. Thankfully, it will be cooler and the sun is supposed to be out.

When you are kind of home bound you find all kinds of things to think about and in some cases with this extra time, I've been able to go through a few things, very few, that didn't get taken care of during the week, the only week, I was to be here in January. Well, of course, now it is February. Yesterday I read a devotion by Wayne Stiles; Why Your Path Forward Leads Backward. I felt it appropriate to address in my view a step backwards for getting on the road forward back to the place I love but as I read "our limitations only frustrate us when we forget that in weakness we glorify God." This whole broken hip thing smacked of setback to me early on but slowly I began to understand that I need to live faithfully where He has me now and in the future. Wayne suggests three things we experience in those seasons where it seems we are moving in reverse...

  • To strengthen our character in spite of our weakness
  • To develop our peace of mind by trusting Him in chaos
  • To teach us that we can glorify Him just as much by waiting on Him as we can by serving Him
I have shared with several friends that I believe God is doing something in me so that when this season has ended and a new one begins, He will have done a good work in me that probably I would have never slowed down to realize....even with the slower pace of life in NC. Back to the verse I referred to yesterday about living a small life, and Paul reminds them your life isn't small, you are choosing to live it that way. Again it seems ironic that being in Houston where the thought would be big city, big life it is actually big city, small life. There are many more variables at least for me here that contributed to me making the choice time after time of living a small life. So many times I let the chaos determine my choices. During some of those hard, small years it was easier to join in the chaos and try to do work or make changes in the midst of it because everyone else was inside the circle of chaos. Chaos becomes a habit and serves us but at a very high price. Chaos appears in different forms, messiness, procrastination, perfection, projecting an image that may or may not be the truth, always looking busy by playing with a smart phone or if you're old school shuffling papers, and being the teachable moment person even though you haven't any idea of what is really happening. Please save me from being in chaos with a teachable moment person! 

One night in the hospital when Roy had returned to the hotel to rest because the next day began early I thought and prayed through so many things. An example of God's provision, I had packed some things to bring here that I never pack and wondered why at the time I was packing them. Sure enough, things that would be needed for this extended time in Texas. I no longer think or ponder on the why of things growing up but there in a moment of thankfulness I saw that being forced into being an independent child, with little to no support in life decisions since the age of five, had prepared me well. Granted it brought some heartache and sorrow as I grew up but I wasn't afraid there in Lafayette by myself when I tripped and fell. God redeems it all.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

A Quick Catch-Up

Yea, so I have already worked out this morning. 8:45 comes early to one who likes to ease into the day. So, up at 6:30 to get cleaned up and have breakfast before Drew gets here. I feel like my getting ready time is getting shorter and that is very welcomed. The key to all of this is organization and that is not my best strong suite.

Yesterday, I was feeling rather courageous about getting out. Roy and I had brunch at Escalante's and then headed over to Barnes and Noble. We spent a short amount of time there and then headed over to the ATM at the bank and a stop at The Fresh Market. It was probably a little more than I should have done and when you compound all the activity with Roy's driving, let's just say when we got home I went straight to bed and took extra strength Tylenol. After talking with Drew this morning he thinks it was more of an endurance thing than a pain factor and I agree with him. But the rest did me good and that helped me get a few more things accomplished around here, like taking clothes out of the suitcase and getting them put up. I brought clothes more for Asheville weather than Houston.

My Sunday School class from church called me yesterday morning. What a great surprise! It was a blast getting to talk with them and hear their voices. I have never fallen in love with a class so quickly as I have the JOY class. We have lots of fun and laughs but they are the praying-est group of women who care deeply. And bar none the best cookers and bakers I have ever met. My gift is teaching them to use your grocery store deli counter and when asked did you make this, you respond I made the trip to get it. Gale, our teacher, is great and so is our co-teacher Judy. They bring great truths from God's Word each Sunday. I usually draw the short straw and sit between Inez and Velda, so that Velda will behave. Hope whoever has drawn that task is up to the job. I am really missing my mountain church.

One of my favorite devo books ever is Solo: The Message NT. Instead of spending a day with each one, I spend at the minimum a week because there is so much to ponder. Right now day 75 has my attentions Wide-Open Spacious Life based on 2 Corinthians 6:1-13.  This is the part that is pulling me in

11 Dear friends in Corinth! We have spoken frankly to you, we have opened our hearts wide. 12 Any constraint you feel has not been imposed by us, but by your own inner selves. 13 So, just to be “fair” (I am using the language of children), open wide your hearts too. Complete Jewish Bible

11-13Dear, dear Corinthians, I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, but you’re living them in a small way. I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!

Your lives aren't small but you're living them in a small way.  Ouch! Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively! Ouch Ouch!

I never came back to the blog yesterday so I will continue these thoughts on a later post. I had planned to sleep in this morning but I woke up rested and I only had to make one trip to the bathroom in the night. That my friends is success! It is also the first night my hip didn't hurt when I moved in bed. That is huge! This morning I have already done a series of the exercises we worked on yesterday.

Geni came over yesterday with lunch. We had so much fun and had a wonderful visit. Chopped salad and gelato for lunch...delicious! She brought me the most beautiful cardinal picture.

Roy stopped by CVS before getting home last night and somehow he got my meds for free. He's a charmer when there is a long line.