What Happened To May?

 A coolish and foggy Friday morning. We are going between two seasons lately and I don't think most of us mind. Hotter days are ahead, our patterns change. Our trees now look like a forest from all the rain we've had and rain we've needed. I was greeted on the driveway by Roy cutting up the branches from the ornamental cherry trees that hang over one side when returning home Wednesday night from choir. In early May I felt I was so early trying to get flower things done and here at the end of May, I feel so behind. My attention is now toward the middle of summer when most of these seeds will be flowering. Roy looked at the tomatoes and bell peppers yesterday and said they are doing good. He will probably put up the tomato cages sometime this weekend. 

After three weeks of missing Thursday Morning Bible Study, I was glad when they said unto me, let us go into the conference room to listen, discuss and study Finishing Well With A Life of Purpose. I have a confession to make, after we finished the mini version, no homework study of Mark by Kay Arthur, I was a little concerned about now having a man teach our study, brilliant man at that cause most of what I know about men teaching is, no discussion. My way or the highway type attitude. On a side note, Roy didn't believe me when I told him that there was a distinctive terminology with work or attitudes divided up by, that's women's work around this area. Upon being here full time, he was quick to verify my observations. He found it astounding, not as in a eureka moment but in, how can this attitude happen in the twenty first century. But of course, I digress. Back to Bible study, I confess I was wrong and this has been one of the best, meaningful and interesting look into the scriptures. Yesterday, when I got home I told Roy all about what we studied. The discussion and the openness of our thoughts is so encouraging. Bryan, is a retired engineer that worked at Lockheed Martin. Sometimes he will add thoughts to our lesson with info on quantum physics. I kind of check out on that part just like always when it comes to math. But he gave us such an applicable example that even I, minimal math Nancy was blown away. He said, what if you took a math class, I think I laughed, anyway, you are taking a math class and you just aren't getting it. You go to tutoring, do extra study but it still doesn't make sense. On the day of the exam, you go to the professor, now I am laughing cause I never took a math class in college, and say, I don't understand this, I am going to fail...  The professor responds, what if I take the test for you? Boom! Bingo! That is the example of what Jesus did for us, he took the test, he bore the price so that we could pass, so we could have life abundantly. He added he once said the same thing to a professor about understanding the class, but the professor didn't volunteer to take the test.  Insert whatever course or what you're good at where math is used. Double boom, double bingo. Bryan's insights into the biblical culture of the first century church is thought provoking. Michael Card, author and musician, teaches imagine study of the scripture that I have always loved. Put yourself in that place...forty days and forty nights is one thing to read, but when you think of a period of time with waiting, wondering and discouragement that we experience, it brings a whole new dimension into your study time. I have a friend right now waiting on an MRI and this time of waiting, antibiotics and such...probably feels like forty days and forty nights, but she knows God is in control. 

The choir is singing one of my all time favorites, Majesty and Glory of Your Name. Memories flooded back singing that anthem with the choir at First Baptist Houston. I was talking with Peggy the other day and mentioned that she and I must have sang a combo of alto/tenor cause some of those notes are just too dang high. 

Something to be grateful for, not being a member of a Southern Baptist Church right now. I mean it seems there are greater things, issues and problems. Some SBC pastors and men, when it comes to nitpicking and such, well, at least they are consistent. Guess one could say they are like Jesus, they are the same yesterday, today and forever. Haha! Old M&G joke. 

Repeat these basic essentials over and over to God’s people. Warn them before God against pious nitpicking, which chips away at the faith. It just wears everyone out. Concentrate on doing your best for God, work you won’t be ashamed of, laying out the truth plain and simple. Stay clear of pious talk that is only talk. Words are not mere words, you know. If they’re not backed by a godly life, they accumulate as poison in the soul. Hymenaeus and Philetus are examples, throwing believers off stride and missing the truth by a mile by saying the resurrection is over and done with. 2 Timothy 2:14-18 Message Bible

Making That Turn For The June Cardiologist Appt

 A joy to be back in choir for our Sunday service. Our director has been out for a couple of months recovering from a fall. We met Wednesday for the first time. I don't think they planned on us returning so soon, but rehearsal went well even with a few of our members playing with the Asheville Band at the Biltmore. We sang the condensed version of Behold Our God, one of my favs. Our pastor is wrapping up the Psalms and soon we will be in the book of John. 

I think in every church and in every choir of churches  I've attended there seems to be a Sunday where the feelings fill up at how much I love being at that church. Happened at First Baptist Houston and when Newfound Baptist had a choir.  Sunday morning I looked across the congregation and experienced those feelings. So many answered prayers, especially this morning as friends returned from surgery, or being with family having surgery and answered prayer for Debbie's return. Our hymns lifted up the Name of Jesus and we rejoiced being a child of His. 

May 22nd was the one year anniversary of an eventful cardiologist visit. That visit prompted the next few months of health concerns and changes that needed to be made. My BP was through the roof, stroke level, and after monitor wearing and dobutamine stress echocardiogram, atrial flutter determined a cardioversion was in order. The flutter with no break into a regular rhythm? No wonder I remained in the state of constant exhaustion and the worst case of brain fog. Believe me, brain fog has been my companion for many years before these senior adult years. 

During that time last year something I read caught my attention and resonated deeply, Steve Bezner, a dynamic pastor in Houston was resigning his pastorship to become a professor at Truett Seminary at Baylor University. What spoke to me was his story, his heart and health story. His cardiologist told him he needed to make some changes in his life or suffer the consequences. My doctors had said, this is a second chance. You have a window of opportunity, take advantage. One day, you won't be able to fight back. That's what I have been doing and changes are coming about slower than I like. Getting my hip on the right track was huge for the progress to begin. Just last week, he wrote these words in the next paragraph and just like last year, this year his thoughts and observations resonated within me. I mean really, how much slower of a pace could I get but it was the stress I was heaping upon myself and it was affecting my health. Yes, there were other things weighing in, but our concern was to restore a good heart beat and walk in good health. I did what a lot of people do now, research to determine what will work and impact. Steve Bezner is on Substack and everything he writes is worth the time.

1. Slower pace has been good for our health and souls. As mentioned at the beginning of this piece, we made this transition because of my health. It has paid enormous dividends. My blood pressure is down thirty points. My weight is down. My bloodwork is the best it has been in a decade. My cardiologist was…happy??…at my last visit. It’s a different pace of life, and it appears I needed it. When I sat on my back patio in Houston, I could hear a highway, a train, and an airport while speaking directly to both of my neighbors. From my Waco back patio? When we sit in our chairs we can hear…nothing. We can see the stars. I miss Houston. I miss HNW. And I miss pastoring. But this has been a welcome and needed shift.

Rain, Yay!

 Looking back at FB memories it seems we plant on this day in years gone by. We have held to that tradition by working in the flowerbeds this afternoon. We have spent two fruitless trips to Canton. Mustang Sam is on his last legs and the cost of repair is just too much for what needs to be done. While driving back to Canton to pick Sam up, my right hearing aid just stopped working. Frustrated beyond words trying to solve the issue. Well, Monday morning holds an appointment to see what the heck is wrong. 

Afternoons filled with construction noise is the norm around here now but today is was just farm equipment. No rain expected for days so hay is fluffed and drying out to soon be put into bales. They are still able to do that across the road but a few more houses look to be built and that will cause that delightful scene to cease. The baling began in earnest in the early evening and as we transplanted tomato plants and pepper plants we moved to the sound of hay baling. Oh the sweet fragrance of that is just about one of my all time favorite fragrances. 

I've also been reading about tell tale signs in creative or just plain oh communicative writing. There are so many styles and ways. A common example is how people treat animals or the stories they tell about animals. Some people just are cruel and heartless and their "humorous" stories or even in the forming of the first few sentences tells me more than I really want to know. It seems like the same can be said about those who love cars and trucks, collect them, working and non-working. Vintage or new but the backseat of their vehicles are filled with trash including unfinished meals of fast food. I know that we don't keep up with washing or vacuuming the inside of our vehicles but we also don't leave snacks or meals in them either. Artists, creative people who sometimes work in chaos which seems opposite of what we are told about our brains, the chaos tells us their approach or maybe more about their brain It would seem writers could be classified in that arena as well. The will to create or communicate how is the story, hobby or art is displayed but behind the scenes is interesting. 

*****

Well, a little bit of time, like maybe a week or so has gone by. Reading about creative writing and then, just like that, two books have my attention. Small Towns Girls, Jayne Anne Phillips and The Calamity Club. Small Towns Girls is the author's memoir of growing up in West Virginia interspersed with history of systems of the area. I do not want this book to end. I took The Calamity Club, huge book, with me to read while waiting for Roy at the gastro office. A bit of overkill, I know. I had not taken into account some good waiting room people watching. I'm enjoying Calamity but the character buildups are taking a little too long for me. Since dealing with all the side effects and such from the C o^!d era, a couple keep hanging around and one of them is attention span. I did not have a very long attention span before the era. If you have to have a pleasant experience at a gastro place, Roy had one. The people are so nice and he received excellent care. We have prayed over this appointment quite a bit and this one is his best ever. Our doctor likes this group in Hendersonville, so that's where we went. We also got around all the backup on 26 with the lane being closed for the connector for 26. 

It seems all of WNC is happy for rain. We've had so little yet the word on the road is, the peach crop is fabulous this year. We had our first peaches of the season and they were sweet and delicious. Usually, peaches don't start out that well in the first pick of the season. With the rain, we opted out of the Lowe's trip and instead focused on grocery shopping. Got that taken care of, came home and debated whether to go to Windy Hill Farms or go to Mars Hill for lunch. We took lunch in Mars Hill for a thousand Aleck. Stopped at the store, got a few things and came back out. I saw something shine for a brief moment in the tire. Dang, a nail but it was in the tire in such a way that we were not in imminent danger of air loss. Ironic cause we had dropped off the Mustang for a second opinion that morning and now this. Got home and Roy headed over to the tire shop. Second opinion confirmed the first one from last week on the Mustang. We will begin in earnest this week searching for a car. 

May has held a lot of appointments and beginning the middle of June, we will get a brief reprieve till August, when it starts up again. 

What Doesn't Define You

 I wrote a long time ago about the time when Roy was in his last two years of law school. He had study group on Sunday mornings, which meant I went to church by myself. Now that in itself is nothing cause due to circumstances, I have done that many, many times. What I did back then and it wasn't a conscious thought but became a habit. I would begin from childhood through teenage years, college years, continue into young married and conclude the thoughts to the present (at that time) of all the hard, difficult, not knowing or understanding things that had happened in life. After a full morning of all those thoughts which were hard and heavy, I was just in the best of moods to worship the Lord and go to church. At that time in the early 90s, I did not have the answers or even understand the questions of it all. It would have been bad for me to stay in that state of mind. Not wholeheartedly, but little by little I began to research, talk with a therapist and do the work that needed to be done. It was a long process but in 2017, after the death of my father, I stumbled upon the motherload of help and answers to all the junk that wanted to stay apart of my life. Ugh!

One thing I figured out first on the adventure was, the different stages of telling the story. Early on it was a cry for help, someone rescue me from all of this. Later, it became the cry of seeking answers and having someone pat me on the back and say, "there, there." That led to thinking someone needed to walk along side me while processing and healing. Then the story became a work in progress in that I was in the middle part of the journey. Now, I feel like I look at it as, it happened, it affected me, I have learned from it and these hard, mean and uncertain meaning of things does not define me. 

I stumbled upon a person on FB, Farmer Girl. This morning she gave a description of how she approaches scripture and the like. Her description is very close to how I have done. So much that she writes resonates. The other day her post on Jabez was not the obvious take that took hold many years ago. Expanding your territory, more like a prosperity message that people loved cause it was a veiled message. Farmer Girl wrote of what Jabez bore throughout his life. His name meant pain. So, as she wrote, when he came near just saying his name was saying, oh hello pain. Go to her FB page and she is on Instagram too. God redeemed him and as Farmer Girl writes, your beginning doesn't have to be the definition of who you are. May I insert, Praise God! This is what prompted this blog post. In a baby book that parents began writing down the highlights of shots, first word, first five birthday type things, a secondary book that both my mom and father wrote in, the first words of the doctor to them, well you didn't get the boy you wanted. Wow! And as I have written before around the age of five my father started his journey of hating me because I was more interested in friends and school than him. As an adult I once asked him if he had wanted children and did he want to start a family as soon as my mom did. He said, he really never wanted children and I was a reminder of every early celebration or accomplishment, he could never truly enjoy them cause he had a family to think about. He said your mother wanted a baby, I did not. I can't believe I said to him. "well, you could have taken care of that yourself." Yes, we live the legacy of lack of condom use to deter having a baby. That is his story as well. His mother didn't want a second child. 

If you want to read her post, worth it, on FB, go to her page. The picture of mushrooms in the forest is your go to cause there isn't a title. 

In reading several things about this it dawned on me recently, this freedom from all of that has fallen fresh upon me. It occurred to me that there seemed to be a lightness in my steps and I was interested in things around here that pretty much lost me. The Co^id shot did a world of hurt and last year I finally felt like I was recovering from all of that. Something that got my attention is how much peace and rest our brains need and that is what I have been doing this past year. Since last summer with the heart issues and such I knew life needed to change for me. Now, I have been given a few challenges from my new doctor and I have focused on those to be able to meet a desired result in August. So this peace and rest is what I have needed. In that I discovered a renewed interest in our home. We had been looking at houses but decided to stop that for now. We have great neighbors and a great yard and a great house. Man, there were several houses that were tempting but as wonderful as they are, it is not for us now. Yes, we have six cats and yes it is a full time job to stay ahead of things cleaning wise. We are blessed to live in the mountains and blessed to be near such beauty and yet have it right here in our own front yard. We don't have much of a back yard. 

Well, I must close up but had other things to write about.

Just Living Life

 Today, the first day of May. My goodness this year is going by quickly. We enter this month with cool temps. In fact, in the early evening last night it felt rather cool and made watering go quickly. I had put out seeds in the side flowerbed because rain had been forecasted. It went south, literally, So, with that delay I was out in the cool of the evening or should that be the cold of the evening. We worked efficiently because Roy had his last CBS class of this season. They finished up the Psalms but he is thinking of changing to a Wednesday night class because it works better with our schedule. 

We just returned inside after pulling the horrible vine from hell out of the remaining shrubs. Well, Roy did. I was busy but on level ground, the little that we have. He took out the remains of a rotting stump and we have plans to cut back a bush that is growing rapidly in spite of very little rain. We emergency planted one of the poppy plants in the hole remaining from the stump. It needed to go in the ground as it was the more sickly of the bunch and just by doing that, it helps everything around the top of the steps. With the chance of frost this weekend, I haven't wanted to plant anything in a flowerbed or stump hole. 

Roy is keeping up his water gun, super soaker that shoots water thirty feet, skills by chasing away Dead Beat Dad, the orange cat. He hasn't been around but made appearances lately. The alpha cat of the Feral Fam knows what Roy is doing so he doesn't run away when the water starts flying. He holds position on one of the big rocks. It is exciting to see Blazey back for a visit. He looks good and healthy. Coco is back and she let me pet her the other day. Wow! Something I didn't think would happen. 

For our church's ladies tea I am going to have to switch totally what I planned to wear. Going with something less tea-ish and going with something warmer. My goodness what an up and down spring this has been. After seeing so many ads for those that have poetry in their hearts and it seems to me all you can do in these various wispy, lacey and romantic looks is stand around with those day dream kind of eyes, no smile except that little turn of the lips saying I know so much and I will share with the right one. One model looks like Megan M of Harry fame. Turn and look, turn and gaze...I don't have the look for this seasonal wear but I do like poetry. Back to our tea, I considered buying a hat but so glad I talked myself out of that. I would rather spend my money on flannel shirts from Angry Minnow Vintage. 

I tried Rowe Casa Electrolyte mix and it is tasty. I figure it is a morning drink but maybe with the magnesium glycate it could be more afternoonish.  

****Sunday morning.

After I got home from the ladies tea at church, before going into the house, Roy and I put all the container tender vegetation on the front porch and used the decorative pillows to shield any cold air. I don't think we had any frost by just looking out the window nor did it get as cold as forecasted. No 33 degrees just 37. 

I had the most delightful time at the tea. Ladies from First Baptist and Weaverville Methodist  came as well. Before Covid the three churches did things like this three times a year, one at each church. The decor was vintage aprons. We heard some funny as well as poignant stories of grandmother's aprons. This was not a pretentious event and I so enjoyed it. Usually, teas are not my thing cause somehow and somewhere there is a person in the planning who just wants to show off, not share an enjoyable experience. I had told those people oh yes, I will wear gloves and a hat...thinking of wearing gardening bib overalls, sun hat and gardening gloves. Wasn't even tempted to do something like that yesterday, but I did bring a hat in case you needed one for entrance. Haha! 

Monday morning****

Our pastor was on vacation last week so our guest preacher was the college pastor for PCA at App State. He was so good and with an unlikely subject of death from Ecc 7. We are an older congregation but the twist of how we look at life was surprising and in a way, refreshing. Roy is not a fan of Ecc and so I thought he would fidget all through the service but as usual he took copious notes. He liked it. Probably bad memories of our former church pastor deciding Ecc was the best book to cover after Helene hit our area. Vanity, vanity. People needed to hold onto some hope and although gifted in many areas, bringing hope was not his best thing. Again, it was just a bad match especially after Covid with him, his family and the powers that be at that church. 

We had our Circle JOY meeting and it was so good! Trusting God, what does that look like and the Holy Spirit and His ministry to and in us. Great discussion and encouragement. I love the insights shared in the meeting. I left with such JOY in my heart and as I was leaving, I was invited to go shopping with three friends but I told Roy I was stopping at Reems Creek for more flowers and he was willing to help me with them when I got home. He is always willing but it worked well with his schedule. So they promised to invite me again. 

I am still intrigued with people all over social media that are fighting somewhat invisible fights. It is not that the fights aren't real, they are, some good causes. It seems like us sports fans that when we say our team, but it is owned and managed without our help. We aren't really supporting our team unless we have tickets to all the games, help clean up afterwards and invest copious amounts of money. It might be call vicarious identification. Opposing theologians, political debates real and unreal, best sports person of all time and what is the best color for kitchens. Sometimes I wonder if the people who are fighting this great fight from their basements will be happy if everything they want happens and those opposing conform. Probably not thus I will keep the kitchen in those dated colors cause it doesn't bother me when I am only going in there to grab a snack or a drink. Meh....

Yesterday, a friend's name came up on FB because it was her birthday. I hadn't seen her on FB much and she is hardly ever on FB. So, I felt like I should look at her timeline and the news shocked me. She and her husband were killed, or as they say now unalived in a head on collision in Wyoming July of 2025. We were childhood acquaintances at church. We were both nerds but ran in different nerd circles. 

Roy has made sure we have enough dirt for our spring planting season ahead. Our roses are just popping with color and blooms. We are so blessed to live here. 

A Laid Back Week

 Roy is off for working out and grocery shopping, for those essentials, chicken salad and bread. The kittos and I are now having some quiet morning time, well as long as Baxter is napping it will be quiet. I was thinking this morning, there are two things one will hear consistently around here, get off my desk and I love you. I mean really, why does Roy want to jump on the top of my desk? Nah, it's Baxter. He doesn't care what kind of attention he gets, he just wants attention. 

We finally found a day in between appointments and weather related travel to get over to TN. With temps being warmer here we are several weeks ahead in the growth season but we feel like we are two weeks behind on everything. Our first thought was to do an extensive day in Johnson City, but we came to our senses and just did our shopping in the Erwin area. We were looking for specific tomato plants that have done well the last couple of years for us. Too early... I did bring home some nice sized poppies that we will plant after we get some much needed rain this afternoon. We also went to Food City for a couple of things but they carry a brand of cat bowls that Roy likes for the kitties. We ate our lunch on the way home because we stopped at Pal's. We also made a stop at Windy Hill Farms. They built a larger produce stand this season and we picked up some strawberries, strawberry and chocolate chip sourdough bread, home made pork skins and some Cherokee purple tomato plants. We will be back for sure. I love watching their raising goats reels. So cute! 

It has been a week since our pastor read his retiring letter with tears shed behind the pulpit and in the pews. Thankfully, he is retiring sometime in the summer of 2027. We have met so many nice people and made friends so it is always good to have more than just liking the pastor. He is one of the best I have ever heard and he comes to the pulpit with JOY! 

We went out this morning to throw some dirt down on the incline down into the yard. It was cold out there. We got the area prepped and seeded and put a little water on the area to hold the seeds with all the wind happening. Both of us came back into the house exhausted from the work and the elements. Early evening still had the wind rolling and the cool temps. As for plants we have not planted any in the flowerbeds but have them in containers. Looks like one more close call for frost and by Mother's Day, we are in the all clear. I am really, really tempted to plant the poppies but I know better. 

Tuesday morning now and a big ol' boom of thunder woke me up. Just a few thunder boomers with a soaking rain. We need rain! It clears out or so they say sometime this morning and we will have sunshine in the afternoon. I enjoy having these two days of not having to be anywhere. I did some procrastinated chores yesterday afternoon. One of those being getting things ready for Roy to drop off at Habitat. Mike mowed today and the yard looks beautiful. Roses have done so well and we've prepared a few spots for flowers and we shall see how that goes. Roy got some Cherokee Purple plants and we have planted them for now in the bags of soil we bought. These weeks of spring almost rival my love of autumn but autumn is firmly placed in my affections for the seasons. 

The coming few weeks hold doctor appointments and such. Some I will accompany Roy for them. Especially, those early morning blood work appts cause there is breakfast afterwards at Moose Cafe. My attention span right now is really focused on a few things. My attention span is still minimal most days. I have struggled with our book club reading with the ago ol problem I have had since starting school, if I don't love it, I don't have much energy to doing it. I have liked the books we've read but not really loving them. I should probably take the summer off and try to read those books piling up on my TBR pile. 

Just A Little Catch Up

 Think we have finished with the last two days of cool temps as we head to the 75 degree range today. We put the recently potted cosmos and zinnias on the front porch just in case of frost last night. We took a few minutes last night to pull up that horrible vine that invades every thing that moves or doesn't move out of one flowerbed. We also rescued a small rose bush from being smothered by the vine. 

I have now found my life verse...in a hymn. We were singing O For A Thousand Tongues To Sing on Sunday morning in the service. Since we sing every verse I pay attention more so now but this particular verse brought on a rather big smile cause it is so life affirming and so life defining at this moment in time. 

Hear Him, ye deaf; His praise ye dumb

Your loosened tongues employ;

Ye blind behold your Savior come;

And leap ye lame for joy.

I had a great follow up appt with the audiologist yesterday. We fine tuned it a bit and I am good to go. They made a six week appointment but if I am not having any problems I can cancel that one and the next appointment would be in October. 

Saturday night before bed I was reading in Luke all about Zechariah, Elizabeth and Mary. It was one of those reading times where the quirkiness of my thoughts went to the funny instead of the deep spiritual nature of what I was reading. So Zechariah questions the angel, when he should of known better, comes out not being able to speak. Elizabeth soon finds herself with child, John the Baptist. Meanwhile angel goes to Mary and he tells her of God's plan and that even her relative Elizabeth is pregnant. Mary goes to see her, Elizabeth if filled with joy, John the Baptist leaps in her womb and Mary, pregnant with Jesus rejoices. So the Holy Spirit is there amongst them and can we deduce, it was better for them because Zechariah couldn't speak? Haha! Just think Elizabeth and Mary got to visit for three months without being mansplained. 

Thursday

I thought my computer was acting up, no just the mouse. I haven't had time though to really write out anything. There is so much I would love to write about, but I cannot at this time. Not that it is all that interesting but some of it is the fact that those wonderful thoughts go out someplace and I just wait for them to come back. Oh well...

We are back in Bible study and we began today. Our topic is aging well and with purpose. Just a look around the table at each other we decided we were at the right place. Our teacher is so interesting and well studied. A specialist in the Greek language and layman and emphasis too on the culture in Judea back then as we read along. 

We've been careful not to plant anything in the ground but it is so dang tempting. I take that back I scattered some sunflower seeds but I feel like the birds had a picnic. That's okay. Wednesday, we went to our regular Publix shopping and brought that home. We then went to Mars Hill and had lunch at La Fiesta, Houston grade salsa and chips, and then over to TJ's. I found a flat of zinnias. For this I am grateful.