While Searching for Sweatpants

 When those winter storms arrive and leave, then a little bitty snow and ice come back for the brief visit, when Bible study is cancelled and one doesn't really want to clean baseboards and such, you find some namby pamby project. Today, I searched for another pair of sweatpants but I remember a couple of years ago I gave them to Goodwill cause it was never cold enough to wear them. I was hoping to find at least one more pair in a chest of drawers we only use for putting the TV on in the bonus room. Nope but I found a mesh storage bag that holds a lot of memories. 

Back in 2014 Roy gave me a month in Asheville for my birthday and it was also time to look for a home to purchase. In all the joy I experienced that month hunting for homes, using my pass to Biltmore and sight seeing throughout the area, there was a bit of trembling, not a chaotic storm brewing until overflow, but my father threatening me to come right now to pick up around eight boxes of things my mom wanted me to have as well as somethings that were mine from childhood. He sent threatening letters and threats to our home in Houston. Now in hindsight because of the "flying monkey" I see he knew I wasn't in Houston, thus the all out all hands on deck attack. He mentioned the plates my mom had promised me and that was the hook. When we were served  with documents severing the relationship with him in 2012, we took him at his word and acted thusly. He tried multiple times to get us to interact with him again. No, my chains were gone, I'd been set free. We had friends who volunteered to get the boxes but after returning back to Houston, I met a friend of his at a shopping mall parking lot. A lot of a mall that almost abandoned. No attention grabbing of course. She in a Jaguar and I in a Toyota Sequoia. She gave me the boxes. I opened the boxes in the garage once I got home and I'm so glad because for the most part those boxes were filled with garbage, odds and ends and boxes they didn't unpack when my parents moved back to Houston from Georgetown. No plates because he had given them to my brother.(my brother gave them to me later) I cried some hard tears and then I was mad that he had gotten me like that. Although, in the midst of these boxes were some important papers concerning my mom but there were important memories with my mom and my grandmother. That is what I stumbled upon yesterday while looking for sweatpants. 

My grandparents served at Mound Chapel for many years. My mom grew up in that church. My grandfather was the superintendent of Sunday School for many years in the 1940-1950's. On a whim, I Googled up the church and it is still there and still serving, although an older congregation. A woman made a comment on one of the pictures about growing up there and she referred to someone by the name of Corky. My mom had a friend named Corky. I messaged the lady and she responded. Wrong Corky but she knew my mom from church. Wow! We exchanged a few pleasantries but like me has moved away from the area of that long ago time. She remembered my grandmother too and she loved her. How could you not? My grandma was one of the best!  

I wrote down yesterday afternoon the times these battles and assaults happened and now so obvious, he was getting information from the flying monkey. He once said to my brother, the flying monkey was his best customer. 

We are still in our WWII mindset here. Not us fighting like WWII but watching documentaries. We watched a couple at lunch time and we made delicious fajitas. 

It is a very cold day and the wind chills are fierce. We have a warm up week ahead and for this we are thankful. Looks like nothing weather wise will impede getting to go to church. 

RoyNan of the Cold

 Well, it is a surprise to see it snowing on this very cold Sunday morning. The flakes are small and the ever so often gusts create quite the stir of snow from fir trees and roofs. This has been an unusual storm and cannot recall in the recent past for this rather consistent snow fall. You can barely see the road out front even after snow plows slightly cleared a path. Seems to be a salt shortage throughout the state and it is reserved for emergency situations. I don't think cabin fever is an emergency to the EMS or sheriffs. I don't have cabin fever but looking at social media cabin fever is catching and the cures for it are closed due to the snow and ice. It's a dangerous circle. The sun has broken through and it is a joy to welcome the sun back. It will melt some of the snow. We don't get above freezing today and it will form as ice when the sun goes down. 

The Boys and The Siblings must have cabin fever. A couple of normal cat relationships are on thin ice...ha! It is mainly Chubola and she has been stalking her long time cousin GMoey and he happens to be the alpha cat. The past few days it has been a bit fragile and hissing is involved. All six are asleep as well as the head cat herder, Roy. He and I stayed up in shifts last night. Our upstairs HVAC is sub par to say the least. We should have changed it out before he retired. It runs and never shuts off and goes into emergency heat setting way too much. So after experimenting with a couple of space heaters strategically placed, one in the bonus room and the other at the opposite end of the hall. We do not feel comfortable about going to sleep with them on. Roy took the first watch. I relieved him at 1:00 am and then he replaced me at 4:00. With the low of 5 degrees and dripping faucets and running the dishwasher at 1:30am, we made it through a very cold night. 

During my overnight shift I finished The Extraordinary Deaths of Mrs. Kip. I've written before that I don't usually read Christian fiction, cause that seems like an oxymoron but this was a very good and engaging read. There is a lot of reasons why I loved this story but one thing that stood out is, the ending wasn't put in a box with a happy red bow on top. The story resolves of course but there are several lives we come to know and we don't quite know the end their end result. Great use of sentence prayers in the character's lives and dying to ourselves daily. One week, the end of life for Mrs. Kip and how her influence even there in hospice was used by the Lord. A couple of times I had to stop because the thoughts of my mom came rushing in and where my father put my mother for those last few hours verses where he passed under luxurious hospice care. I also remembered my last time I saw her, so fragile and translucent. I sat there and told her what a wonderful mother she had been, reminded her of a few funny stories and when I kissed her on her cheek, she puckered her lips and made kissing noises. I will not describe the conditions he left her in but I will say the room she was in was like a group passing thing. It was horrible for all the families involved but he could have chosen better. He could afford it ten times over and still have that loot he had treasured. No, he loved money more than he loved her. 

There is a therapist and author on social media, I've mentioned before, that puts these unthinkable situations one endures with a narcissist in perspective. One piece she has put into place for me is the dominant narcissist needing a flying monkey. The flying monkey is usually the heir apparent to keep abuse going to and for the next generation. Until recently, I had not known about the role of the flying monkey. I have a revised point of view on the April-ish 2024 thing and the end results of choices and decisions being made. The flying monkey has info sourced from my father that are blatantly lies and bits and pieces of stories he fashioned together to match his narrative of lies and fascinating foolery, that is to the uninformed. So, the flying monkey was paid to keep an ongoing legacy going. I will say once again, I don't care. They all worked for their money and I didn't have to and my reward, peace of mind and peace of heart. Truly, a gift from the Lord. In reading the book, Mrs. Kip, original thought here, it helped me process through those things with answers that make sense to all that happened in 2024. I'm at rest with it and have peace therefore there is the joy in that I will never have to talk to the flying monkey again.

We did another night shift thing Sunday into Monday morning. I started the book club February choice, The Mad Wife. I'm just getting into it. 

We lost power this morning and the Duke crew hope to have everything up and running by 11:00 am. A little over a thousand are affected. At 11:07, we were back in business. It would be nice if we could have a little more sun to warm things up. Then melt, then refreeze tonight. It doesn't look like we are going to get above 32 today. Tomorrow brings hope of more of a thaw. 

Snow Day!

 With the roads dry enough the sights and sounds of our busy road are back. As both Roy and I were up early this morning, we saw lots of firetruck and police lights on the corner around 4:30 am. With the temps being so low last night we wanted to make sure everything temp and water pipe wise were going well. I see naps in our future because we checked on things in shifts. We are finally above freezing and it is nearly two in the afternoon. Oh, I hate to see our electric bill these next two cycles. 

I am into the ballet this afternoon on Reels. My goodness, so beautiful. My friend Marti was a dancer in the George Balanchine company in NYC. Over the years I have been to a couple of ballets with her and her description of the work and all the creativity of dance mesmerized me. Our friend Jennifer bid on tickets to Swan Lake complete with dinner and she won. Four of us went to see Swan Lake. We sat in a side box with a serving area behind the curtain. We ate, pulled the curtain to sit in the seats and at intermission we went back to the serving area for dessert and coffee. We had our own bathroom and we lacked for nothing. It was my first time to go to a ballet other than recitals at a dance school. My first experience ruined me to ever want to go by just purchasing a ticket. My time as a trained dancer was very short because I didn't have the attention span to learn along with the details that are required but that same short attention span got hyper focused when it came to softball or volleyball. We each have our talents and interests. But after one hangs up ballet shoes or softball cleats, we still have the aches and pains from giving our chosen endeavor all we could. 

The don't expect too much storm this weekend forecast has changed and we might have a good amount with freezing temps in place. I've had to wear my heavy winter coats the past few days. It has been awhile since those have been taken out of the closet. Yesterday, we took both vehicles into Weaverville to shop. Then Roy went home and I went to choir practice. The store was crowded but everyone treated others with some patience. We are all there for the same thing, to restock and get ready for the next storm. I went back today after Bible study. We needed another container of chicken salad as well as more pineapple. The store was crowded but everyone was on their best behavior. All the stuff we needed was on the first two aisles and a checkout opened just as I turned the corner. So, it wasn't stressful. 

I just saw that Catharine O'Hara passed away today. She was 71. Most know her from Home Alone or Schitt"s Creek but Roy and I watched her on SCTV in the early 80's. Being much younger then we would watch SNL and then SCTV and still get up early and go to church. Her characters were so over the top and I loved how she delivered her lines. I remember my favorites being teaching English as a second language and her many characters on game shows. Wow! This is a shocker. She is already missed by so many and watching some of the clips more poignant. 

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Snow! Snow Day! Snow this morning and tapering off this afternoon. We do not get above freezing until Monday sometime. It's beautiful to watch this morning. Thinking of going upstairs to get that view. I've seen only one truck on the road this morning. Road...that can't be seen. No snow plows or anything on major and secondary roads. Might be waiting for the snow to be over. We did see a snow plow earlier but the work was in vain cause the road is covered again. It is so quiet outdoors when it snows. One lone  ATV passes by occasionally and the kids one house over have been sledding down their driveway. 

Officially, no church tomorrow.  The temps will be brutal on top of everything else. This is one of those storms that people will talk about in the future. Surely the biggest one I have been in since moving here. 

The Day After the Storm

 This morning the update is slick roads with an icy sheen. About an hour ago a car slid off on our side the road. Good thing it wasn't the other because there is a drop off. The guy finally got his car righted and slowly proceeded. Hope he has a good reason and a clean pair of underwear for whenever he arrives. From the general consensus of all the weather forecasts seem to indicate we had more sleet than frozen rain. Some say we will have another round later in the morning but who knows who we are to believe. We are thrilled that we haven't had too much frozen rain but others are upset at the weather people. The big picture is, it could have been a lot worse and people would be upset if the forecasters said, no big deal. That kind of happened for Helene. Our neighbor above us texted me a little bit ago and the text was cleverly designed as a check on your elderly neighbors text. Don't mind that one bit and we usually have a few laughs along the way. This morning was no exception. We both decided reading took precedence over cleaning baseboards and such. I am also trying to stay out of the kitchen where most accidents happen in the home. Hey, for safety reasons. 

Our pot roast in the slow cooker was delicious and I am sure it will be delicious for lunch today, too. I used the Kinder Pot Roast spices this time but still use ale for part of the flavoring process. Included lots of carrots. 

It has been a while since reading two good, interesting books in a row. Family of Spies, off the chart good and now I am reading fiction and at the other end of the spectrum from spying. Of course the title alludes me right now and I'd have to go upstairs to find the book. Probably I would pick it up and start reading then go onto something else totally forgetting to return to the computer and report the title. Such is life with an ADHD brain. This January I have been reading a lot about my brain and yes, I do have one. It's probably upstairs with my book. There are a lot of good qualities that outweigh procrastination and not much of an attention span when it comes to things one doesn't really love. 

We are above freezing with still some sleet coming down at times. Roy is prepping just in case the FCC truck comes to pick up the trash tomorrow. No official word but the county schools have already released the statement, no school tomorrow. The next two days hold wind and single digit temps. I've seen several reels showing tree limbs snapping from the ice in Middle Tenn. Well, just looked up the official word for trash, on a one day delay cause the landfill won't be open tomorrow. When ice and snow are on the scene the world gets so quiet. Life slows down. The three to four hour window of reprieve gets the restless or the shoppers out on the road. 

Now it is Monday morning, the morning after the weekend. A gentle snow is falling with the sun trying to peek through the overcast sky. Think the high today is in the 20's. Most everything that can close, has closed for the day. Our area north of the city didn't see as much ice as others. We mainly had sleet. The pictures of damage in Oxford MS and Nashville TN is devastating. Our gentle snow is still falling but the sun is keeping it in check. 

Calm Before the Storm

 It is the calm before the storm. Preparation time. Go out and take care of things before the ice storm Fern makes her appearance. I will add this Fern to the Ferns I have known in life. At our condos there was a group of older women that spent every waking sunlight hour sitting by the pool. I was much younger back then and went out a couple of times but Fern kind of camped out at the pool to corner you in conversation. Not random either, she had picked her topic and most of the times her topics weren't that interesting to me. What was funny is the ladies reading their spicy books while they tanned and I could always tell when there were reading a "hot" page cause their feet were moving ninety to nothing. The other Fern I can remember is Miss Fern from the movie The Bad Seed. We put an offer in on a house near Balsam Mountain, thank you Lord someone outbid us, and the road the house is on, Fern Trail. Now Fern the ice storm is traveling across the country. 

This morning we went to Publix not to panic buy but to do our regular pickups for the weekend. Fruit, chicken salad, bakery bread as per usual and cat food. The only thing we bought that is different, a couple of gallons of spring water. We got there a little after 9:00 and shelves were restocked and checkout lines regular like. After we checked out and started putting things in the car, the parking lot was going a bit crazy as it was near 10:00 am. 

For lunch today I had Southern Baked Pie's tomato pie, mini version and it was very good. Delicious! I will order again. We got the petite apple pie with salted caramel as well. I took a couple of bites...oh my goodness, so good. 

It is now Saturday and I just finished up the leftover tomato pie, think little chicken pot pie size, and a couple of bites of the apple pie. The choices when I bake the rest, taco, roast beef and chicken. Have a pot roast in the slow cooker and snacks for ice storms. Nah, it's just the regular snacks we keep around the house.

So now, we sit and wait. Prepare and then hope. I love that the Lord has experience in storms of various kinds. So, it's good to trust Him with this. 

Pressing On

 It seems we don't have too many all day rain events here. Houston, oh yes and that could include several days of end on end raining ranging from misty to torrential. Most of the heavier rain went south of us so gentle showers are doing the job. We both have taken it easy today. Well, Roy is doing our taxes so I guess that doesn't count as easy, but a relaxed schedule. We are thankful it isn't me doing the taxes. World without end, amen. 

We've been Presbyterians for a little over a month and we are enjoying this journey. I know old school isn't for everyone but we have settled into it nicely. Roy started last week attending the men's Bible study and I've been attending the women's Bible study since the fall, the season not Adam and Eve time. Along with choir there are more opportunities for social interaction. Last week I read an article about slowing down verses shutting down. Interesting and I think this change is just what we needed. I was talking with a friend from Houston about this article and after having some trouble articulating my interpretation I gave her an example from this summer. It fit and said it all. 

Now it is Monday morning. A very cold one at that. We opened the Inn on the Catmore Estate last night and several took advantage but the innkeeper, Roy, is pushing everyone out at 11:00 or there abouts. It should be above freezing and besides the sun is out and there is play time to be had. 

We were on our way to church yesterday and the Mustang gave us a bit of an issue. We decided to turn around and get the truck but when we arrived home, the snow was so heavy that Roy was a bit iffy about going. I really wanted to be at church for many reasons but one is the choir anthem we were singing. It is one of my favorites. I texted two choir members to let them know of the situation. It's ironic because since 2010 or so I have not gone to big church in January on the advice of a Houston cardiologist. He knew because he said Baptists go to church sick most of the time. I would tend to agree with that. Now in January this year, I want to be in big church.  

*****

Thursday morning, below freezing and some snow on the ground. It doesn't look like our road has been salted or sanded. That means that even work trucks are driving slow this morning. The sun is out but we don't get above freezing today. Just got the text and email that Bible study is cancelled this morning. In part I'm glad cause of the roads but sad because the discussion is lively and we gain so many insights from one another. It is one of the best groups I've been apart of. We enjoy our friendship with the Word of God leading the way. 

Things I'm liking these days

My clearance jammies I bought at Sam's. Only had gray left so I ordered two pairs and I am so glad I did. Comfy and all that comfort for only $7.98 a pair. Here is something unusual, they are Lord and Taylor brand. Someone must have bought the name cause there hasn't been a Lord and Taylor for quite sometime. Loved shopping at the one in The Galleria. 

Rowe Casa Tart Cherry. Really helping me sleep through the night. Truthfully, I like all things Rowe Casa. 

Archer and Oliver for journals and paper products. Great presentation.

Earl Gray tea. It seems to be helping my heart stay out of flutter. 

The free time for reading. Almost finished with Family of Spies, nonfiction. In 1994 or so young woman finds out her family spied for the Japanese in Hawaii years before Pearl Harbor. Her family, from Germany. Her painstaking research and from all that questioning within what her father knew and if her elderly aunt who was the main cog of it all would ever share with her niece the adventures and crimes she was a part of. I'm about halfway through. 

Here is the last thing for this post, I read this the other day and of course cannot remember the author's name, but her or his sentiment is worth thinking about. Research shows that most Christians or church attendees cannot answer some of the simple questions to determine what they understood about the scriptures. The cynic in me says, many can answer but don't know how to live it but the face is we are illiterate in many ways. That info is interesting but their thoughts on quiet times and devotional thoughts is spot on. We romanticize quiet times all warm and special with hot or iced tea, depending on the season. Of course in the south we drink iced tea all year long. We have our specially bought journal or journals...I always think it is the journal that will inspire my thoughtful devotional writings. I just like journals with narrow lined paper. Now, I am not against devotions in the morning or vespers in the early evening, but we need to dig a little further in God's Word more than what we normally do. Yes, I am guilty. So far this month I have been hit or miss on this but pressing forward to the prize I will still make that effort. It will only do me good. 

Meanwhile, we have fallen prey to the malformation of “quiet-time culture.” Having a quiet time can be beneficial, but it often disciples people into a devotional style of reading the Bible. Devotionals are big sellers, and for good reason. They pair a snippet of Scripture with a bite-sized insight, leaving readers with a positive emotion to start their day: comfort, assurance, hope, inspiration. Christian living and devotional books comprise 41% of Christian book sales, while Bible studies a mere 8.5%. One of the best-selling Christian books of all time is a devotional that has sold over 45 million copies. 

Devotional reading limits which portions of the Bible we spend time in. There is a reason no one has written a devotional on the Book of Leviticus. But all Scripture is profitable. 

Quiet-time culture also delivers a short-term, instant-gratification reward. It elevates individual interaction with Scripture so that we view the most precious time in the Bible as personal, not communal. If you have been caught in a “what this verse means to me” spiral in a small group discussion, you have seen this dynamic at play.

Just A Few Remaining Thoughts of My Childhood Friend

 I haven't been able to quit thinking about my childhood friend who passed away this past summer in July. All these years and we were not close. We didn't speak ever again after I stayed a night at University of Texas with her. I have no idea why I was at UT nor how I got there because I didn't have a car. I was just down the freeway in San Marcos at Southwest Texas State but now called Texas State. It is just one of those blip memories and I guess I remembered the most important part, Leah. Our paths had gone separate ways. I became a Christian my junior year in high school but we did have a drama class together our senior years. She was meant for the stage and got parts in the musicals and such. My comedic side didn't really come about until long after high school being too afraid to be different than everybody else. For our senior drama exam we had to participate in a one act play. Leah got a dramatic role and I played the lion from the Wizard of Oz. Not the same play. Hmmm....I think maybe I did get the better end of the deal. Back in the day schools had drum and bugle corps not dancing corps but there still was a marching band. Leah made it into the Rebelettes, maybe playing fife or drum...I interviewed with the committee when they came to the junior high school and the first question I was asked, if I didn't make it into Rebelettes would I play volleyball. Being 6' in the 9th grade and athletic of course that is where they steered me. Leah came into her own and she took the path of the day, being a hippie. My path was determined for me, a dork. By our senior year we were nostalgic friends. Maybe we rode together to school sometimes but most probably my senior year cause I had use of a car.  

During the summers of 8th-10th grade we hung out in the evenings at her house. Cute boys lived next door to her and we never knew when one might just speak to us. We spent a lot of time walking around the neighborhood. It was in 1969 and 1970 cause we talked a lot about UT winning national championships. Leah knew she was going to the University of Texas. She had her life planned out. She was going to go to law school and become a lawyer just like her dad. In 1969 and 1970 on those walks my plans were how I was going to, now as the young people say...unalive myself, once I got a drivers license. I was miserable without hope and saw no other way out...but then God. I became a Christian in January 1971 and got my license a year or so after that.  So, yep God's timing. And I think that is what has me so pensive about Leah and her life. Somewhere in those years between she, graduated from UT but she didn't go to law school there. I think she went in Houston. She got married and I think she had a daughter. She practiced law as a defense attorney with a couple of other specialties thrown in. But I don't think her career is the career she had planned upon. Doing some Google research tells me some of that info. She passed away in July, buried near her father and now also her mom who passed away in December. No obituary for Leah, at least none I can find. Surely her life meant something. I did reach out to someone who I thought might have known her and I did get some limited knowledge about her and that helped me with looking into other avenues. I found a picture, two pictures really of her in 2024. She did not look like the same Leah, in fact I would have never recognized her. Interestingly, we lived in the same area or at least her office was nearby. Of course I know I don't look the same as I did back in the day either, but people like her usually hold onto their physical appearance.  I think what haunts me are those walks with everything she planned in such detail and direction. She was meticulous about her appearance. Me not so much cause there wasn't a direction I could go on without some money. I did the best I could with what I had and it was a battle to have that. 

Last night I saw something that got my attention as I searched for anything else to know about my childhood friend. Surprisingly, I found something and then I knew exactly why there wasn't more information out there. A post from her daughter on FB,

 For me, silence is abandonment.

#adultdaughtersofnarcissisticmothers

#repeatingpatterns #RelationshipDynamics #whyaretheresomanyactualfrogsinthispond

She had a narcissistic mother. I had a narcissistic father and while narcissists share common traits it's different, but I understand. I just read an article on the six faces of narcissistic mothers. The end result of either parent is, their destruction of any self esteem of their child, holding onto to control of the child and lack of boundaries.

There will be no obituary to find.