Still Remembering Cali

While putting on eye makeup this morning the thought occurred, why in the world are you doing this? This morning there were tears shed almost each and every hour. The backyard silent, no stirring...nothing. Even shaking the treat box didn't rouse anyone who usually came running. With nothing moving the daily breakfast being served outdoors was just milk and some treats. The usually safe feeling deck has lost its safety. Not even Camo was around. After getting dressed I trudged back up to Cali's resting place. Added a few more rocks to the heart shaped rock, spread more pine straw and made a cross out of the tree root we pulled out of the ground to make room for Cali and a semi large stick. Came back to the house and cried a little more. Since Roy has been under the weather since Tuesday and is just now regaining his voice, we opted for the Thanksgiving lunch at church and didn't go to The Farmer's Daughter like we had planned. The thought of jockeying for a place in line just didn't appeal to either one of us. We also considered staying home and finding something around here to make for lunch. I was afraid I would bust out crying if anyone said anything about Cali but we decided to take that chance and some Kleenex in my jean pockets just in case. We had a delightful time at church. There were a good amount of people, most not church people and that was the goal. The food was delicious. It felt right to be there today with our church family and to laugh and tell stories and just talk. Bonus, we even came home with supper for this evening. Now that is wonderful. There were the kind words to me about Cali. Y'all, I know she was just a cat and a feral one at that but that little cat was a blessing and it was comforting to look out in the back and see her watching over her kingdom on one of those big rocks. Or she would be stretched out on the deck napping. It became a favorite to call her name and then Riley and watch those two come from underneath the fence and bound down to go under the deck and then peak from under the stair to see what was being served or if it was snack time. 

Right before we left for church, Roy told me Riley was in the back. Yes! I went outside and put out a few more treats and a bowl of food. Took a few pictures and then we left. When we came home Roy told me that Riley was under the deck looking out. Now Riley rarely does that. She looks between the railing slats thinking she can see us but thinks we cannot see her. I told Roy oh that's not Riley, it is Big Sissy Daddy. But then the black and white cat came out from under the deck and ate a few treats. Could it be? I started looking at pictures on my phone....y'all that cat was Mama Cat! She has not been around here since early June and so we assumed that she had died. Never one of slight build, she still carried herself in that grand stocky way and she looked like it hurt to walk. Riley wasn't afraid of her but did the cat deference thing...as if she knew who she was or had been introduced or saw her on a regular basis. Mama Cat began that long climb up the hill and then rested on a big rock. She sat there for quite sometime, then gingerly began moving down into the bowels of the gravel road and the ravine. Y'all that was just a strange moment...why did she show up? Where has she been? 

Camo made a food appearance and left quickly. Think she has moved her brood maybe over toward Mary Joyce's home. I am worried for Riley. She and Cali were constant companions. She let me be rather close to her today but she did keep a wary eye on me. 

Buddy keeps looking out the windows as well but it seems that maybe Riley spends a lot of time on the front deck or under it and that is one of the reasons Buddy wants to be out on the front porch. This afternoon it was warm enough to let her out. 

I know each day the grief of losing Cali won't be so raw. And every blog post won't be about her or the Feral Fam or Riley. There are so many stories I never shared in this past year of taking care of this little cat family. I took a lot of pics that I never posted on Facebook. Several have said to me and it is true how God brings these animals in our lives. Buddy is a gift from the Lord and even though she is kind of whiny at times, she has been used to teach me so much. The Feral Fam needed a little help last winter and I was happy to jump into their lives. I cannot give a thought of thought to the what ifs? If she still had her kittens would she have been on the move so much? She would still dominate in keeping the territory of the deck. If I had been at home more the past week and hadn't missed the regular schedule, would she have wandered? There aren't any answers to those questions but I have wonderful, fond memories of each morning being expectant to see The Fam. And the lessons I have treasured, learning and refining, I wouldn't trade them. 

Being a calico cat and blending in with the scenery probably preserved her body. Today the way a leaf was arranged, there were times it looked like she was out there. Again, I am so fortunate to have found her yesterday and to bring her home and place her near the spot she loved....where she had fond memories....if cats have memories. I went out there this afternoon and placed some solar lights nearby. 

I was happy to share her with y'all. Thank you for the kind comments and thank you for your patience as I remember her. She was so loved by so many....I wish that day she almost came in the house had been successful.