Throwing Your Heart Over a Fence

Our conversation at brunch yesterday came straight out of House Hunters the difference being we are discussing more than three houses and we haven't seen any of them in person yet.  It is the constant realization of what we need, what will be a deal breaker, location, location, location and views.  It is always about the view with me.  We printed out the particulars that our agent had sent and while going through the details and history, we saw something on one house that had been in the top three that caused us to re-think and then of course re-arrange.  We are researching stuff on Google almost daily to be informed on normal house things in NC that aren't necessarily something we see in our area.

In the course of looking through the different cities and areas around Asheville for houses, more times than not, I also look at churches in the area.  Being a member of a tech detailed church it is alarming then refreshing to read through the different church websites.  Can you believe that there are churches that don't even have websites?  Ugh!  Go to church the old fashioned way not knowing what you might be getting into? Really?  Uh, no.  There are some websites that are very relevant and others that give just the basics.  More than one church has a young pastor and the music minister is older than the hills...just reading through the newsletter lets you know what's going on there.  No thanks, don't want to go through the whole music thing again even when the young pastor's sermons are really good.  Most, not all, of the Southern Baptist Churches have tons of info on the Baptist Faith and Message yet many Episcopal churches mentions Jesus and ministry a whole lot more than the Baptists.  A very pleasant surprise.  While pursuing an Episcopal church website, the link of stories from the congregation interested me.  They weren't testimonies of church attendance or programs but narratives of God's direction or love or peace...all things God in their lives.  The articles are well written and grab you right into their story.  One in particular told a story of a group making a decision that by saying yes to an interested party this would lead to a financial windfall to most in that group.  I've taken some highlights from the story and they are as follows:

During this discussion, a friend shared something that was later explained to me as a metaphor, but I’d rather believe it to be metonymic, a way of using language that (rather magically) substitutes a part for a whole. Anyway, my friend said that when he was a boy, he’d taken riding lessons, and in the process of learning to ride, he’d learned to teach a horse to carry him across a fence.

“When jumping a horse,” he told us, “we were taught that the first thing over the fence should be our own heart, and that’s what the horse would follow. And if we didn’t – if our attention was off, or our hearts were afraid – that the horse would know it, balk at the fence, and send us flying....After the discussion ended, we took a vote. In spite of the possibility of sorely-needed financial profit that might have come from agreeing to the proposed project, we decided against it. Because, we realized, our hearts were not there; and ultimately, without a heart-felt commitment, none of us were prepared to take on the remainder of the work....The thing about throwing one’s heart over the fence is that it’s not, entirely, a mental decision, but, I believe, an act of grace. I can’t decide where my heart might be thrown; I can only follow."

I've been thinking about this, when in life have I thrown my heart over the fence and everything followed?  What of those times I thought my heart was in it but time and interest proved it wasn't.  Several years ago we had started the process of looking at condos in Maggie Valley.  After looking around for a bit, I knew my heart wasn't in it.  Maybe it was the Biltmore experience more than living in the area.  So happily we continued our trips to the Inn and the estate.  This time is different and my heart has already jumped the fence.  Roy's heart has jumped the fence....too.

Yesterday, after Roy had read his daily Bible reading, he asked me to really think about Proverbs 17:22, a cheerful heart is good like medicine.  His thoughts being, after getting away from dealing, working or having contact with several of those who if I let them, make my heart not feel so cheerful, how much better I have felt of late and gosh darn it, doing stuff with a cheery attitude.  I always think more about being funny or laughing with that verse, which can be included in a cheery heart but never considered what Roy was asking me to think about.  The hard realities of attacks and negativity and grudges and I have been given relief from them in this season for me=a cheery heart.   Because there have been many a day that my broken spirit has sapped my strength.  A broken spirit caused from gossip, grudges, and hatred.  Broken because of insecurities and lack of trust, not my own (cause I can do that in any season to me) but from those who wear the mask of kindness.

Really, it is better to throw that heart over a fence than to have to throw up over a fence.