I woke up at 3:00 am and had a difficult time falling back into sleep. My brain was being too active for the middle of the night. I began to pray and I included my father's well being in those prayers to God. That he would have peace and comfort, that he would know God's presence in that room. If you had to give a theme for my father's life, a very broad theme would be chaos. Circumstances were rife with churning and his very presence brought an onslaught of turmoil both physically and emotionally. Peggy once said to me I have never heard you tell a humorous or fun story about your father. They are few that's for sure. He tried at times but his personality could not take anyone's happiness, so what could have been always turned into the always has been. When we were young my parents would take us to small amusement parks in Houston, Wee Wild West, Kiddie Land and maybe Peppermint Park a few times. That would have been great fun but the whole trip getting to one of these places included a lecture on how other father's played golf on weekends but here he was taking us to an amusement park. I can remember thinking and by the grace of God I never said, why don't you take up golf? Playing golf had nothing to do with wanting to spend time with family, it had more to do with he didn't want to spend the money to play. I had a good time on the rides but my brother probably could have done without those trips because he was nervous about getting on some of the rides or riding the oldest and tamest ponies in the world at Kiddie Land. My father would make fun of him, unmercifully. Even if a ride scared me, I rode it cause I didn't want the attention directed on me.
I am still thinking about a fun experience with my father. So far nothing and I am thinking back to before I turned five because that is when he turned the course for us and determined to make life a living hell for me because now I was more interested in school and making friends than I was in him.
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I still haven't thought of a fun time yet but I will keep on searching. I went back to 2012 on my blog and read about those days beginning on March 27th and through the month of April. I stopped reading when I realized my heart rate was elevated.
Yesterday afternoon Brenda and I went to the Biltmore Estate to celebrate her birthday. We had 4:30 reservations for tea at the Inn, but we went a little early to drive through the gardens, stop at the garden center and a little bit of Antler Hill Village. The tulips are beautiful! Our tea time was delicious and such fun. Roy told me to offer Brenda supper too cause he thinks there isn't enough food at tea time, he considers everything appetizers.We did a little shopping in the Inn and I came home with two items that I love and were on sale. So double score. On our way back home, Brenda taught me a few more short cuts and I am driving like a local more and more. We also drove by the elk and watusi cattle. Weatherwise, it was the best day so far this year with temps in the low 70's.
Rain showers came though last night. Such a lovely and relaxing sound, raindrops on a metal roof. Thankfully, we did not have a lot of thunder and lighting. It looked like most of the heavier rain went to the south of us.
This morning one of the first things I did was to complete my Nord order because today begins triple points. I've been waiting so I could order makeup and products I use daily and benefit to get more Nord Notes. I did find a couple of shirts for next fall and winter on sale.
Bird watching has been especially entertaining. Many little birds stop by with nesting material in their beaks. They stop and fuel up and continue about the business of making a home. The squirrels and bunnies stop by at least once a day. The squirrel cracks me up when he comes to get a drink of water. It must taste so good that he lays out like a sunbather for a few minutes before continuing on with the day. The front yard and the gravel road in back has had a wonderful full capacity of robins. Such a beautiful sight watching them hop with their little heads cocked to the side listening for supper.
Have a full day of nothing schedule wise in concrete. I know some of the things I hope to take care of today.
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