What Doesn't Define You

 I wrote a long time ago about the time when Roy was in his last two years of law school. He had study group on Sunday mornings, which meant I went to church by myself. Now that in itself is nothing cause due to circumstances, I have done that many, many times. What I did back then and it wasn't a conscious thought but became a habit. I would begin from childhood through teenage years, college years, continue into young married and conclude the thoughts to the present (at that time) of all the hard, difficult, not knowing or understanding things that had happened in life. After a full morning of all those thoughts which were hard and heavy, I was just in the best of moods to worship the Lord and go to church. At that time in the early 90s, I did not have the answers or even understand the questions of it all. It would have been bad for me to stay in that state of mind. Not wholeheartedly, but little by little I began to research, talk with a therapist and do the work that needed to be done. It was a long process but in 2017, after the death of my father, I stumbled upon the motherload of help and answers to all the junk that wanted to stay apart of my life. Ugh!

One thing I figured out first on the adventure was, the different stages of telling the story. Early on it was a cry for help, someone rescue me from all of this. Later, it became the cry of seeking answers and having someone pat me on the back and say, "there, there." That led to thinking someone needed to walk along side me while processing and healing. Then the story became a work in progress in that I was in the middle part of the journey. Now, I feel like I look at it as, it happened, it affected me, I have learned from it and these hard, mean and uncertain meaning of things does not define me. 

I stumbled upon a person on FB, Farmer Girl. This morning she gave a description of how she approaches scripture and the like. Her description is very close to how I have done. So much that she writes resonates. The other day her post on Jabez was not the obvious take that took hold many years ago. Expanding your territory, more like a prosperity message that people loved cause it was a veiled message. Farmer Girl wrote of what Jabez bore throughout his life. His name meant pain. So, as she wrote, when he came near just saying his name was saying, oh hello pain. Go to her FB page and she is on Instagram too. God redeemed him and as Farmer Girl writes, your beginning doesn't have to be the definition of who you are. May I insert, Praise God! This is what prompted this blog post. In a baby book that parents began writing down the highlights of shots, first word, first five birthday type things, a secondary book that both my mom and father wrote in, the first words of the doctor to them, well you didn't get the boy you wanted. Wow! And as I have written before around the age of five my father started his journey of hating me because I was more interested in friends and school than him. As an adult I once asked him if he had wanted children and did he want to start a family as soon as my mom did. He said, he really never wanted children and I was a reminder of every early celebration or accomplishment, he could never truly enjoy them cause he had a family to think about. He said your mother wanted a baby, I did not. I can't believe I said to him. "well, you could have taken care of that yourself." Yes, we live the legacy of lack of condom use to deter having a baby. That is his story as well. His mother didn't want a second child. 

If you want to read her post, worth it, on FB, go to her page. The picture of mushrooms in the forest is your go to cause there isn't a title. 

In reading several things about this it dawned on me recently, this freedom from all of that has fallen fresh upon me. It occurred to me that there seemed to be a lightness in my steps and I was interested in things around here that pretty much lost me. The Co^id shot did a world of hurt and last year I finally felt like I was recovering from all of that. Something that got my attention is how much peace and rest our brains need and that is what I have been doing this past year. Since last summer with the heart issues and such I knew life needed to change for me. Now, I have been given a few challenges from my new doctor and I have focused on those to be able to meet a desired result in August. So this peace and rest is what I have needed. In that I discovered a renewed interest in our home. We had been looking at houses but decided to stop that for now. We have great neighbors and a great yard and a great house. Man, there were several houses that were tempting but as wonderful as they are, it is not for us now. Yes, we have six cats and yes it is a full time job to stay ahead of things cleaning wise. We are blessed to live in the mountains and blessed to be near such beauty and yet have it right here in our own front yard. We don't have much of a back yard. 

Well, I must close up but had other things to write about.

Just Living Life

 Today, the first day of May. My goodness this year is going by quickly. We enter this month with cool temps. In fact, in the early evening last night it felt rather cool and made watering go quickly. I had put out seeds in the side flowerbed because rain had been forecasted. It went south, literally, So, with that delay I was out in the cool of the evening or should that be the cold of the evening. We worked efficiently because Roy had his last CBS class of this season. They finished up the Psalms but he is thinking of changing to a Wednesday night class because it works better with our schedule. 

We just returned inside after pulling the horrible vine from hell out of the remaining shrubs. Well, Roy did. I was busy but on level ground, the little that we have. He took out the remains of a rotting stump and we have plans to cut back a bush that is growing rapidly in spite of very little rain. We emergency planted one of the poppy plants in the hole remaining from the stump. It needed to go in the ground as it was the more sickly of the bunch and just by doing that, it helps everything around the top of the steps. With the chance of frost this weekend, I haven't wanted to plant anything in a flowerbed or stump hole. 

Roy is keeping up his water gun, super soaker that shoots water thirty feet, skills by chasing away Dead Beat Dad, the orange cat. He hasn't been around but made appearances lately. The alpha cat of the Feral Fam knows what Roy is doing so he doesn't run away when the water starts flying. He holds position on one of the big rocks. It is exciting to see Blazey back for a visit. He looks good and healthy. Coco is back and she let me pet her the other day. Wow! Something I didn't think would happen. 

For our church's ladies tea I am going to have to switch totally what I planned to wear. Going with something less tea-ish and going with something warmer. My goodness what an up and down spring this has been. After seeing so many ads for those that have poetry in their hearts and it seems to me all you can do in these various wispy, lacey and romantic looks is stand around with those day dream kind of eyes, no smile except that little turn of the lips saying I know so much and I will share with the right one. One model looks like Megan M of Harry fame. Turn and look, turn and gaze...I don't have the look for this seasonal wear but I do like poetry. Back to our tea, I considered buying a hat but so glad I talked myself out of that. I would rather spend my money on flannel shirts from Angry Minnow Vintage. 

I tried Rowe Casa Electrolyte mix and it is tasty. I figure it is a morning drink but maybe with the magnesium glycate it could be more afternoonish.  

****Sunday morning.

After I got home from the ladies tea at church, before going into the house, Roy and I put all the container tender vegetation on the front porch and used the decorative pillows to shield any cold air. I don't think we had any frost by just looking out the window nor did it get as cold as forecasted. No 33 degrees just 37. 

I had the most delightful time at the tea. Ladies from First Baptist and Weaverville Methodist  came as well. Before Covid the three churches did things like this three times a year, one at each church. The decor was vintage aprons. We heard some funny as well as poignant stories of grandmother's aprons. This was not a pretentious event and I so enjoyed it. Usually, teas are not my thing cause somehow and somewhere there is a person in the planning who just wants to show off, not share an enjoyable experience. I had told those people oh yes, I will wear gloves and a hat...thinking of wearing gardening bib overalls, sun hat and gardening gloves. Wasn't even tempted to do something like that yesterday, but I did bring a hat in case you needed one for entrance. Haha! 

Monday morning****

Our pastor was on vacation last week so our guest preacher was the college pastor for PCA at App State. He was so good and with an unlikely subject of death from Ecc 7. We are an older congregation but the twist of how we look at life was surprising and in a way, refreshing. Roy is not a fan of Ecc and so I thought he would fidget all through the service but as usual he took copious notes. He liked it. Probably bad memories of our former church pastor deciding Ecc was the best book to cover after Helene hit our area. Vanity, vanity. People needed to hold onto some hope and although gifted in many areas, bringing hope was not his best thing. Again, it was just a bad match especially after Covid with him, his family and the powers that be at that church. 

We had our Circle JOY meeting and it was so good! Trusting God, what does that look like and the Holy Spirit and His ministry to and in us. Great discussion and encouragement. I love the insights shared in the meeting. I left with such JOY in my heart and as I was leaving, I was invited to go shopping with three friends but I told Roy I was stopping at Reems Creek for more flowers and he was willing to help me with them when I got home. He is always willing but it worked well with his schedule. So they promised to invite me again. 

I am still intrigued with people all over social media that are fighting somewhat invisible fights. It is not that the fights aren't real, they are, some good causes. It seems like us sports fans that when we say our team, but it is owned and managed without our help. We aren't really supporting our team unless we have tickets to all the games, help clean up afterwards and invest copious amounts of money. It might be call vicarious identification. Opposing theologians, political debates real and unreal, best sports person of all time and what is the best color for kitchens. Sometimes I wonder if the people who are fighting this great fight from their basements will be happy if everything they want happens and those opposing conform. Probably not thus I will keep the kitchen in those dated colors cause it doesn't bother me when I am only going in there to grab a snack or a drink. Meh....

Yesterday, a friend's name came up on FB because it was her birthday. I hadn't seen her on FB much and she is hardly ever on FB. So, I felt like I should look at her timeline and the news shocked me. She and her husband were killed, or as they say now unalived in a head on collision in Wyoming July of 2025. We were childhood acquaintances at church. We were both nerds but ran in different nerd circles. 

Roy has made sure we have enough dirt for our spring planting season ahead. Our roses are just popping with color and blooms. We are so blessed to live here. 

A Laid Back Week

 Roy is off for working out and grocery shopping, for those essentials, chicken salad and bread. The kittos and I are now having some quiet morning time, well as long as Baxter is napping it will be quiet. I was thinking this morning, there are two things one will hear consistently around here, get off my desk and I love you. I mean really, why does Roy want to jump on the top of my desk? Nah, it's Baxter. He doesn't care what kind of attention he gets, he just wants attention. 

We finally found a day in between appointments and weather related travel to get over to TN. With temps being warmer here we are several weeks ahead in the growth season but we feel like we are two weeks behind on everything. Our first thought was to do an extensive day in Johnson City, but we came to our senses and just did our shopping in the Erwin area. We were looking for specific tomato plants that have done well the last couple of years for us. Too early... I did bring home some nice sized poppies that we will plant after we get some much needed rain this afternoon. We also went to Food City for a couple of things but they carry a brand of cat bowls that Roy likes for the kitties. We ate our lunch on the way home because we stopped at Pal's. We also made a stop at Windy Hill Farms. They built a larger produce stand this season and we picked up some strawberries, strawberry and chocolate chip sourdough bread, home made pork skins and some Cherokee purple tomato plants. We will be back for sure. I love watching their raising goats reels. So cute! 

It has been a week since our pastor read his retiring letter with tears shed behind the pulpit and in the pews. Thankfully, he is retiring sometime in the summer of 2027. We have met so many nice people and made friends so it is always good to have more than just liking the pastor. He is one of the best I have ever heard and he comes to the pulpit with JOY! 

We went out this morning to throw some dirt down on the incline down into the yard. It was cold out there. We got the area prepped and seeded and put a little water on the area to hold the seeds with all the wind happening. Both of us came back into the house exhausted from the work and the elements. Early evening still had the wind rolling and the cool temps. As for plants we have not planted any in the flowerbeds but have them in containers. Looks like one more close call for frost and by Mother's Day, we are in the all clear. I am really, really tempted to plant the poppies but I know better. 

Tuesday morning now and a big ol' boom of thunder woke me up. Just a few thunder boomers with a soaking rain. We need rain! It clears out or so they say sometime this morning and we will have sunshine in the afternoon. I enjoy having these two days of not having to be anywhere. I did some procrastinated chores yesterday afternoon. One of those being getting things ready for Roy to drop off at Habitat. Mike mowed today and the yard looks beautiful. Roses have done so well and we've prepared a few spots for flowers and we shall see how that goes. Roy got some Cherokee Purple plants and we have planted them for now in the bags of soil we bought. These weeks of spring almost rival my love of autumn but autumn is firmly placed in my affections for the seasons. 

The coming few weeks hold doctor appointments and such. Some I will accompany Roy for them. Especially, those early morning blood work appts cause there is breakfast afterwards at Moose Cafe. My attention span right now is really focused on a few things. My attention span is still minimal most days. I have struggled with our book club reading with the ago ol problem I have had since starting school, if I don't love it, I don't have much energy to doing it. I have liked the books we've read but not really loving them. I should probably take the summer off and try to read those books piling up on my TBR pile. 

Just A Little Catch Up

 Think we have finished with the last two days of cool temps as we head to the 75 degree range today. We put the recently potted cosmos and zinnias on the front porch just in case of frost last night. We took a few minutes last night to pull up that horrible vine that invades every thing that moves or doesn't move out of one flowerbed. We also rescued a small rose bush from being smothered by the vine. 

I have now found my life verse...in a hymn. We were singing O For A Thousand Tongues To Sing on Sunday morning in the service. Since we sing every verse I pay attention more so now but this particular verse brought on a rather big smile cause it is so life affirming and so life defining at this moment in time. 

Hear Him, ye deaf; His praise ye dumb

Your loosened tongues employ;

Ye blind behold your Savior come;

And leap ye lame for joy.

I had a great follow up appt with the audiologist yesterday. We fine tuned it a bit and I am good to go. They made a six week appointment but if I am not having any problems I can cancel that one and the next appointment would be in October. 

Saturday night before bed I was reading in Luke all about Zechariah, Elizabeth and Mary. It was one of those reading times where the quirkiness of my thoughts went to the funny instead of the deep spiritual nature of what I was reading. So Zechariah questions the angel, when he should of known better, comes out not being able to speak. Elizabeth soon finds herself with child, John the Baptist. Meanwhile angel goes to Mary and he tells her of God's plan and that even her relative Elizabeth is pregnant. Mary goes to see her, Elizabeth if filled with joy, John the Baptist leaps in her womb and Mary, pregnant with Jesus rejoices. So the Holy Spirit is there amongst them and can we deduce, it was better for them because Zechariah couldn't speak? Haha! Just think Elizabeth and Mary got to visit for three months without being mansplained. 

Thursday

I thought my computer was acting up, no just the mouse. I haven't had time though to really write out anything. There is so much I would love to write about, but I cannot at this time. Not that it is all that interesting but some of it is the fact that those wonderful thoughts go out someplace and I just wait for them to come back. Oh well...

We are back in Bible study and we began today. Our topic is aging well and with purpose. Just a look around the table at each other we decided we were at the right place. Our teacher is so interesting and well studied. A specialist in the Greek language and layman and emphasis too on the culture in Judea back then as we read along. 

We've been careful not to plant anything in the ground but it is so dang tempting. I take that back I scattered some sunflower seeds but I feel like the birds had a picnic. That's okay. Wednesday, we went to our regular Publix shopping and brought that home. We then went to Mars Hill and had lunch at La Fiesta, Houston grade salsa and chips, and then over to TJ's. I found a flat of zinnias. For this I am grateful. 

Let Spring Ring

 The lilac bushes are now blooming profusely filling the air with that lovely fragrance. I cut a few of the blooms last night and now the downstairs is filled with the fragrance of the season. The blooms are helping the air purifiers this morning. The scent met me on the landing of the stairs. Such a brief season but so enjoyable.

One of the benefits of these assisted hearing devices is listening to music. No uncomfortable headphones for me...haha. Since we are on sabbatical for the choir I don't listen usually to music while getting ready for church and since Roy has found an interest in scripture praise songs, I don't want to do anything to keep him from enjoying that. Yesterday, I thought I'll listen to KHCB, Christian radio station in Houston, for their Sunday morning music. All throughout my life I have had a love/hate, no just dislike with KHCB. My mom listened to it sometimes when I was a child. Then as teenager I liked to listen to different pastors preach, and then about college and through young adulthood, it was old fogey music, get with the times! Now, at that time The Gaithers were considered CCM and I can remember my parent's church fighting, I mean discussing, whether the choir should sing any Gaither songs. Think that has changed now. Roy and I would catch Stories of Great Christians in the car if we went anywhere in the early evening. The production of the fifteen minute show was all cliches, with organ music for background sound. They would announce, Stories of Great Christians and then play, on an electric organ in Christ There Is No East or West. When we moved up here at times I would listen to By Request on Saturday afternoons. KHCB is now run by younger people with the same vision as Pete Steygeral and then Bruce Munsterman, who recently retired. Imagine my surprise mixed in with great hymns, great praise and worship music as well as gospel music. What an enjoyable morning of music. What a morning of singing praise to God!. Poor Roy, he only heard me but he said I was mostly on tune when I sang. I sang with Total Praise and felt I was hitting the alto notes. 

 We went to TJ's in Mars Hill. We came home with strawberries and three packs of zinnias. I really wanted to get the whole tray but we still have blackberry winter ahead so for now I am content to plant these twelve plants in containers to be easily whisked away to shelter when the chance for frost comes. 

I replaced the little round white thing under the dome, rubbery ear piece, of my hearing aids. The little tool makes it easier than I thought it would be. You do this about once a month but I decided to do it a few days early in case I had a problem. I have a dentist appointment this week and would just be up on the next floor if anything had happened. Love having most of my doctors in one place. 

Looking through my memories from 2009, I think, on FB, I will leave you with this story. Mustang Sally was our first Mustang but now we have Mustang Sam. 

A Chance Encounter

It was a chance encounter this morning. Such a beautiful day to have the top down on Mustang Sally. I had just been to Tanglewood Gifts to mail our tax return, then to the cleaners, and a return trip back home. I was home just long enough to pick up something and back on the road, still with the top down. Driving down Memorial singing with 92.1 when something fell from the sky and hit my arm. It was a lizard, a chameleon, basically when you get down to it, a reptile. Well it is in my book. I screamed bloody murder and flipped my arm to get the creature off of me and out my car. He landed on the passenger side door and looked as if he would be moving underneath the dash board of the car. I screamed again and I think I was driving, I'm not too sure. All I know is this, the Bible believing, Word speaking, verse claiming side of me came out in full force. If speaking in tongues would have helped, I would have. I HATE these creatures. So I am watching that lizard and speaking over it. Oh such things like, In Jesus Name I command you to stay on that door, no moving! You do not exist or move or have your being at all in this car. God gave man dominion over the earth and since there ain't no man in this car I am speaking dominion over you and you cannot move in Jesus Name! That lizard stuck to that door. I pulled into the North parking lot at church where I was picking up Cassi for lunch. As she came near the door I asked if she was afraid of lizards. She said no and I said get that thing out. Well, by this time I am out of the car doing the little nervous dance when my hero Jerrell Altic comes by my car. We told him the happenings and came over to my car and flipped that pestilence off my door and into the shrubbery. Thank yous abounded from me and Cassi. Cassi and I had lunch at the Ashland House and we sat outside with me nearest the shrubbery. There were some anxious thoughts going on in me like what if that stupid lizard has sent messages to his friends and family and those lizards surround us at our table. Those anxious thoughts left rather quickly though. We sat down for a great visit and great food. I went all Southern and got the veggie plate which had collard greens, corn, sliced tomatoes, black beans and fried asparagus. Yum, yum... and there was room for coconut cake with an orange filling. I went back in the church with Cassi to see Melinda Scurlock. She's tempting me to work in VBS for registration and the snack room by offering me a t-shirt. Girl knows the way to my heart, only thing, the t-shirt is burnt orange. I am worried that I might have to wear a hair net to work with the snacks. I don't know if I am up to that. I don't look good in black net on my head.


A stupid stinkin' lizard fell on my out of the sky. What the heck??? What are the chances? I know that if I was going any other speed than what I was going that sucker would have fallen into my hair and I would have driven into a tree for sure and all would be grieving my untimely death...yes, she beat 9/11 and a bad heart, but she couldn't overcome a lizard near her gizzard.

That's all I have for now.

Ballet, Spring and Remembering

 Many evenings before hitting the bed, I watch ballets. Just snippets and mostly what comes through the time line is the portions of famous ballerinas and famous ballets. Some of the reels are almost documentary like showing how toe shoes are conditioned and used or showing the work that goes into learning some of the hardest moves. Behind the scenes where only the toe shoes are heard and ballerinas that have to lock into one position while the main dancer or dancers perform. What makes me smile is when the female dancer has done thirty two spins in a row called fouettés, the male dancer comes into view and kind of does a ta da move showcasing the dancer's moves but with a sense of, he made it happen. And sometimes, when women in church are doing a lot of hard work, making things happen, covering up screw ups, and all sorts of that kind of stuff, sometimes after doing "spiritual fouettés" they don't even get a ta da. The guys carry on like no mess was made here and if it was, well, that is women's work. You can hear that a lot in these parts. I think about this kind of stuff every April when it is Administrative Professional Appreciation, especially church admins. Love that our pastor calls Elaine the church admin, the CEO and she is. I will add that working in church for female directors of ministries, cause they ain't going to call them ministers in a Baptist church, can be difficult as well. More insecurity or something. Moody and sometimes downright unfair and well...I am thinking of the B word, too. Haha, the B word is Baptist. I watched one of those big blob kind of men, with the gruff, know it all of life and the Bible on Reels. I don't know why so many men who become blob like have the same similarities. I've seen this guy before and his rhetoric is KJV only and Bible men shouldn't be sissies. He was reading out of Jeremiah but he had the wrong reference. He got mad at the congregation for his own mistake. I wonder if he knows that King James authorized that version to unite Puritans and the church of England and King James was thought to be gay or bisexual. Jesus did not speak KJV English.

It is that time of year when it is warm enough to really, really want to plant flowers but you really, really know one shouldn't. Our red bud trees bloomed and then were stunted with cold temps in the past few weeks. Now the leaves are coming out so at least they are doing well. The snowballs bushes have buds on them and the Japanese snow balls are blooming already. My 2020 Covid flowerbed project is slowly returning to grass. It kept me busy during those days and I kind of thought it would work but alas, it did not. Now, we need to move or rather have someone come and move the rocks that surround the area. Since I have a lot of harvested sunflower seeds, I put some out in the side flowerbed. If half or even a fourth of them make it, that's going to be a lot of sunflowers.

The new assisted hearing devices use is going well. Love the Blue Tooth feature and I am excited to actually hear conversations again. I wrote on this previously but I kind of thought at first it would be a difficult transition for me but when I thought of this as flourishing, it hasn't been a problem. Getting a little older, haha, is interesting reading. There are kinds of lists to consult on if this happens, this is what that means. Those lists are at both extremes. Leg hurts, it's nothing. Leg hurts, you have gangrene. Oh no, it's too late. 

Looking back on FB Memories on this date 16 years ago, the memorial service for Dan Duncan happened. It was an extraordinary service for an extraordinary man. He was the founder and leader of Enterprise Products in Houston. Most people have never heard of the company but those in the stock market that love MLP's love EPD. Up here if we mention Dixie Pipeline, people know that because it is the pipeline that supplies propane to this area of the country. EPD owns that pipeline. Anyway, today I thought I would include my thoughts I wrote back then after attending the service. This is the company that Roy worked and retired from. 

God Honoring, God Glorifying- One Man's Life

I have just a few minutes because I need to get ready to meet Casi for lunch but I wanted to get my thoughts down about yesterday. We went to the memorial service for Dan Duncan. Lots of Enterprise Product folks had the same idea we had, go early to Second Baptist, get a parking spot and then walk over to Cafe Express for lunch. The paper said this morning that over 3000 were in attendance. The 3000 heard the Gospel yesterday. I believe the DVD of that service could be sent out and used to teach and many would come to know the Lord. Dr. Young was impressive as always but Jan Duncan, the widow of Dan, gave the eulogy and she knocked that baby out of the park! Wow! Neither Roy nor I had a pen because if we'd had one, we would have been taking notes. She emphasized that we are God's love to those He has put into our lives and that we need to use those gifts God has given us to express His love so that others may know Him. She said to give or to be giving is put into each one of us by the Lord and if we have trouble being generous with our lives, time and money, we have handicapped our hearts. Jan quoted from her favorite book, Conversations with God frequently throughout her talk. The music, just everything was so God honoring and glorifying. I think I am still trying to process all that I heard yesterday in that service.
Afterwards in the reception with the family we were able to see so many friends. I was on a very focused hunt to find Dub and Mary. I played tennis with Mary and her sister Marti. Dub retired from Enterprise several years ago as the CEO. The country life is agreeing with them, they both looked rested and refreshed. In 1999 on a girl's night away, I was sitting on the porch at their ranch house in Brenham, early in the morning, the dew and mist covered the rolling valleys. Only Mary and I were awake and we shared conversation and coffee that morning. Mary went back to the kitchen to bring us more coffee and in those moments alone, I prayed for Roy, who had just been laid off. Actually, this story really begins in the summer of '99. Roy was on a huge project and he called to vent frustrations over progress or maybe lack of progress. I told him, shut it down, come on home and let's go out to eat. We did just that and we had dinner at Escalante's, where Dub and Mary had just been seated. We all had dinner together and Roy and Dub talked about the implementation project he was on. Of course Mary and I talked of much more interesting things. Well to us, anyway, back to the story, when Mary got home from the ranch she mentioned Roy to Dub. She talked about his upcoming interviews in Long Island and San Francisco. The rest of the story is history, good history, and Roy certainly has been blessed. But I love those divine appointments that God has. And to even top it off, the divine appointments were fun.
We also ran into Linwood and John Olson. I played tennis with Linwood and we share the love of Southern fiction together. She is the epitome of the Southern lady. John is one of the first analysts that recognized the problems with Enron. We were able to visit with them a little. We saw the mover and shakers of the city and state, in law, in medicine and in business at the reception. There were others there like us, nobodies, but having the same respect and admiration of a humble, hardworking and honest man. Rest in peace Dan Duncan, well done thou good and faithful servant.

Still Love Me Some Teen Girl Squad

 I still love me some Teen Girl Squad quotes and do find some of them work in everyday conversations even if the person you're talking with has no clue about Teen Girl Squad. The exterminator came this week and as he was spraying the yard he found a dead possum near the back porch but out of the sight line from the window. The ever popular, I met a possum. Good for you line kind of worked because Roy went out there to pick up and dispose of said possum. When Roy returned from that job I asked if the possum was really dead or was it playing possum. 🥁I'll be here all week, thank you! 

https://youtu.be/tHZwHUMeGGQ?si=4RP-4MjF-I4jsOvt

Now I need to spend some time reviewing, once again, Teen Girl Squad on You Tube. It is clearly plain and simple sophomoric humor but done so delightfully. A text or a visit with CourtneyS may or may not include references to these things. I have not told her about the dead possum but did text the picture from Beth Moore's X account of a possum up her tree. 

Our Maundy Thursday service last night so very meaningful. We gathered to remember the new covenant which Jesus put into place within the last supper. The musicians are doing a great job as we miss our music director, Debbie. Talked with her yesterday and she is in good spirits. 

We usually do not root for South Carolina being LSU and Baylor fans but we took SC over UConn. Wow! The ending not on the court cause it was decided but Gene A having a 70 year old acting fit and argument. He reminded me of old men who stand outside waiting for one person to step on their lawn, yell and shake their fist. Even with video evidence that the things he was saying were untrue. He has probably acted that way all his life and from the references to Pat Summit, it sounds so but once you get older and act the same way, it doesn't work. It doesn't look good. It's time to retire. The same ol stale jokes don't translate either. Earlier this week I finished up James Cagney's autobiography. Enjoyed it and hearing the stories that make up some of my favorite movies of his. After he retired, he only came back once when the American Film Institute honored him for life time achievement. He told several stories in the book about big name stars that thought they could still do what they used to and their name would add to a production but he said, sadly, some people do not do well in seeing things how they really are. He gave good advice and it sounds like he lived out the rest of his life enjoying the little things. Although, he was estranged from both of his kids. Now that situation, I'll just leave it there cause that's a rabbit hole I no longer desire to travel down. 

Now, Monday morning and the views are a bright and splendid green from the rain. It was a rainy Easter morning. I wore a black and cream colored Easter dress and boots because the rain made the temps very cool. It just seemed silly to be wearing those bright spring colors. Next Sunday is supposed to be warm, so I think the spring colors and clothes can come out. This must be dogwood winter cause the dogwoods are blooming and soon enough when the blackberry bushes bloom, we will have blackberry winter and then we should be good to go with planting and working in our gardens. 

We watched the Natty game yesterday and so happy that UCLA won. Now I am really happy that I don't have to watch basketball until later this year and that will be sparse. Never have been a fan of basketball, wither men's or women's, but March Madness is different. 

Yesterday's Easter service was low key and high powered. No choir, well that's a given for many churches, but since Debbie is healing from a broken hip our regular musicians played and did a fabulous job. A treat was the middle school young man that played It is Well With My Soul on the saxophone during the offertory. Skip preached from I Peter and Jesus exalted. 

Today, I loved the Joy Circle meeting. We talked about our walk with God. Very meaningful. I look forward to attending every month. Afterwards, I walked around the church and in the parking lot. It was a lovely way to spend the afternoon. 

Hearing Once Again and April Fool Thoughts

 Today, I had a follow up visit at the audiologist office. Met with the assistant and she helped me get the APP and my phone in sync to use all the bells and whistles with this hearing aid. My goodness this is not my grandma's hearing aid. She asked me about noise and stuff and none of it bothers me. Just so glad to be able to pick up words and oh my, when the birds sing, it is fabulous. We discussed when and where to wear them and the piece they call the dome isn't as fragile as I told myself it is. Got the cleaning kit and now here is to good hearing and listening...and good balance. God has certainly made miracles with our brains and we don't even notice the agility of it as we learn and create new pathways. I was asked if the noise was too much? Never! The birds, the sound of the shovel hitting dirt for the flowerbeds, even hearing Roy chewing his dinner...it's all good! Well, maybe not the chewing part.  

So, in this parking lot that for years we used as tourists to turn around when we missed the entrance to I 40 is now our medical center. I am also thankful that this time and it is the third time a charm, that no weird happenings happened in the first floor bathroom. The first instance, the guy in the women's bathroom...not transgender, not identifies as a woman but a guy looking for someone young...thank goodness I am old and not cute! Last week a very talkative woman cornered me in that bathroom, standing in the entrance of the door, talking to me about the hand dryers they use instead of paper towels. Well, I wanted to point out to her she didn't even wash her hands but she made that point that it was just "them" trying to control us and change our behavior. Oh, yep, I think there is some of that kind of thing that goes on but not with the hand dryer. It spreads more germs than paper towels so when I think of it, I bring some paper towels from home. I finally had to make her move and she followed me till I turned into the hearing office, she peeled off and went out the front door. 

*****

April 1st, nine years ago today my father passed away. When my brother called I wasn't sure at first that this wasn't some huge April Fool joke, but my father had a rough couple of days beforehand. We always thought it was appropriate that he passed away on this particular day. My brother felt that our father had realized the error of his ways and Doug had a good two years with him. They told me during that time that Dad had changed but for me, it was no thanks, been there, heard that...When he had his lawyer serve us with legal documents severing the relationship, he hadn't counted on, we would take him at his word. The last addition of his very mean living life began for us on March 27, 2012. His cardiologist's nurse called to let me know my father had not shown up for his appointment. I happened to be in Houston that day, so I took off toward his home. After searching every route and calling who I knew to call, I was at his desk writing down phone numbers to begin calling whomever to locate him. He came home, saw me at his desk and I knew what I had to do. I showed my work that I was working from his rolodex, not anything else. I realized then I didn't have his license plate number nor what medications he took. I sat there with him getting that info. My energy ebbing and knowing I needed to return home...I was in the midst of getting used to new medications and such for my heart and I had X amount of energy. He watched me drive away and I could tell by the look on his face, this wasn't going to end well. The Lord spoke to my spirit and said, this is the last time you will see your father alive. It was just a matter of a few days before being served. Thus began the process of answering questions from Adult Protective Services, the Houston Police checking into elder abuse after he filed a report and his lawyer asking questions and the constable's office calling. He told his remaining friends lies and thus began false reports of us going to their houses too. It was a lot and my heart took a beating, so to speak. All came back as false reports. APS told me they had never met such a good liar in all the years. The policeman called me back, gave me his cell number in case my father came to our home threatening us. In all of this a couple of his friends called me to warn us that my father had posted letters at all his doors and he kept guns nearby in case he had to stand his ground. His pastor friend was so concerned and hesitated to tell me, he hates you. He has hated you since you turned five years old. He told me this in case I decided to go to his home unannounced. I assured the pastor this was not news to me. What I didn't know until much later is how deep that hatred extended. I mean, this is the man who swore all to secrecy, not to tell me my mother was in the hospital dying. My brother found a creative way to let me know and how funny is it that the knowledge came in the form of a prayer request on FB. 

Several weeks ago as we were leaving the Publix, I saw a man that looked exactly like my father. Had Roy look over that way and he said, oh my goodness, your father didn't die, he's been living here in NC. That is how much the resemblance was. Only thing, this man was not well off, using a walker to barely move trying to keep pace with his wife. I contemplated taking a pic but decided not to. In some ways I took this as a spiritual road mark, this look had been my father all along. Crippled with so much hatred and insecurity. Lashing out the only way he could. Through these last nine years as more information comes out about narcissistic behavior I understand. Being the scapegoat/black sheep was my role and now knowing who his biggest helper was, puts things in perspective of his treatment of me and of course the scourger of his plans, Roy. 

I didn't go back for his service. Roy didn't go either. There were friends of his there that would never, ever believe anything else but what he had told them. His closest friend did believe the truth after she talked with my brother and she and I talked several times as well. I love that every time she saw him at the assisted living place she shared the gospel with him, to make sure he was really saved. Gee, I sure hope so. After hearing about him stealing things at assisted living and accusing others, it is true what they say about narcissists, they accuse others of what they are really doing. 

Flourishing In The Courts of the Lord and In The World of Assisted Hearing Devices

  The godly grow like a palm tree; they grow high like a cedar in Lebanon.

13 Planted in the Lord’s house, they grow in the courts of our God. 14 They bear fruit even when they are old; they are filled with vitality and have many leaves. 15 So they proclaim that the Lord, my Protector, is just and never unfair. Psalm 92: 13-15

I have been thinking about this verse since the beginning of March. Flourishing in the courts of our God. Lots of word studies have been done and Bible studies written about flourishing. What I saw as flourishing several years ago is not how I look at it today. Takes a whole nother meaning. What I might have considered non flourish type things are usually delegated to youth and not knowledgeable about a situation. With these thoughts in mind, this week I did what seemed too far gone previously, I got an assisted listening device, otherwise known from the distant past as a hearing aid.  It has gotten to the point where I am missing a lot of words in conversations and trying to listen to the TV at a decent decibel range. Roy and I seem to have the same reaction when talked to at a distance...what? Pardon, I'm sorry, didn't hear you. Now, don't laugh but I knew on my insides that I was growing quieter and more inward because of the lack of hearing soft noise or high decibel. I remembered my mom, she had difficulty hearing but never got a hearing aid to help her. I think that might have helped the dementia come on sooner for her. On Monday, I had a visit with our new doctor and I mentioned the ringing in my ears and losing out on what is being said. She checked my ears for cerumen, fancy term for ear wax. I know at choir when our director talked softer, I totally didn't comprehend one word, at all. The Dr asked if I would like to get that checked out, yes but I really was hesitant cause I didn't want to go to Sam's and have a hearing test. The Dr made a referral to the audiologist office on the first floor of what we now call our medical center. That office called me on Tuesday and got me in on Wednesday. Long story short, hearing loss more in my right ear than the left. I had hearing loss from a virus in my early thirties. The last hearing test I had was part of the interview process at Pennzoil, oh say back in 1975. Cramped little booth but it is not like that today. These devices are not your grandmother's hearing aid. Wow! Now, if I can get past my nervousness in putting them in and taking them out, it will all be good. 

I am learning quite a bit about these assisted hearing devices and over the past couple of days gotten better or at least a little more relaxed with them. Today, I go see the assistant who will teach me how to blue tooth the phone and TV. My brain is getting all that new information to process so it must be working cause a lot of the fuzz and stuff has simmered down. 

So this week I feel like my hearing is flourishing and somehow my balance seems a tad better. I walked four laps around the church parking lot yesterday morning. It was so good to hear every word of the sermon and conversations with friends afterwards. The best, when Roy is saying something from across the house I can distinguish his words. The Dr said last Wednesday, some people need to take time to contemplate that step into the assisted hearing device, but I want to hear. Ain't no thing that it makes me look older, newsflash, I am older. These things come in different colors so mine match my dark hair with gray highlights. 

Senescence Is Just A Fancy Word For Old

 In 2015 the packers were at the house, getting for the big, partial move to NC. Those guys worked hard. Peggy came over to supervise the move. Gee, she kept putting things back. She was not too happy about the move. 

The beginning of the wonderful adventure of living in the mountains. God led us, walked beside us and pushed us just a bit, but Roy and I survived being in separate states until he retired. So thankful for all the PTO he had. Many times he left the office and went straight to the airport. He brought a backpack, that is all because he had clothes here. Best way to travel. 

Today, I am feeling like that adventuresome person on the inside but on the outside these past few days I have felt old, elderly, a senior citizen, geezer, there are so many. AI told me that these are some names for the seasoned people of life:

Common synonyms for aging include maturing, growing old, senescence, and declining. It describes the process of becoming older, advancing in years, or showing the effects of increased age. Other terms include graying, mellowing, and developing

This has come to light due to a doctor appointment. We changed doctors and we now go to what Roy and I call Our Med Center on Vanderbilt Park. The drive to Hendersonville with all the upcoming construction played a part in our decision. When the opening came up for this particular practice, we said yes. I think I truly answered questions like an old person yesterday. She had my records and we discussed meds and procedures and all that stuff. I chose a vintage blouse and maybe instead of being cute and with it, I looked old and nostalgic. Ugh! Because she doesn't know anything about how I got to this particular season of life, I had to refer to those times being an athlete, although I know I do not look like someone who worked out all the time. Believe me, I do not live in the past, I just sounded like it yesterday. In the true spirit of being older than Moses, I have an appointment with an audiologist cause I can't hear squat! So, this morning talking with the scheduler, I think, I know I talked like an elderly rambling brained idiot. What she and the doctor don't know is, I have said the same stuff all my life, but what you said at 40 doesn't play well in the 70s season of life. Hopefully, I do better today at the audiologist office. I think asking for them to email the paperwork might have bumped me up a bit. 

Weather or Whether, That is The Question

 My buddies, the cats, are sitting nearby with laser light focus on my phone. Cause when the phone and the sun combine in just the right way, I'm sure there is some kind of math involved but I am non practicing, there will be refracted light to chase. Sometimes when the sun hits the phone I get duel refractions and that keeps everyone busy. 

We have had a lovely two days of warm temps and maybe one more tomorrow and then the cold hits the fan. Some are forecasting accumulation snow but we shall see. So many trees and plants have bloomed out and this cold blast could affect peach crops this summer. After two good peach years, you hate to see it happen. Also strawberries. Oh my goodness. 

After the brief storm on this Monday morning the kitties are coming out from under the beds, finally. A tornado warning issued for Madison County and Avery County is not a usual thing. It doesn't look like none touched down but reading some accounts of the storm complete with wind and hail, sounds too scary for me. Ah, the memories of my first thunderstorm here eleven years ago and being a little higher in the atmosphere than fifty feet above sea level in Texas. Lightning felt much closer and thunder rattled your insides a little more. We have an iron bed here and we had one in Texas as well. I always thought about this unrealistic fear, that our metal beds would draw lightning. So, that first storm here, lightning hit in what was then an empty pasture but it felt like it was lightning knocking on the front door. I jumped out of bed and believe you me, my jumping days had been over for a long time and ran downstairs. Running days over too. Buddy, my BCFE, best cat friend ever, right behind me. Somehow, I have always thought our family has a propensity toward being struck by lightning. Tall for one thing but my grandfather was struck by lightning as a young man plowing a field. His rubber boots saved him. He told me whenever there was a lightning storm his leg would hurt. Years and years ago on N Post Oak Lane, I was walking Tiff the wonder dog and hour or so after a storm. Walking under some lovely trees suddenly a big flash, like a ball hit the ground and then thunder. It knocked Tiff and me back a few feet and we struggled to right ourselves on the ground. A man in a car stopped and asked it we were alright. Yes, a little shaken but not stirred. He was shocked and I was shocked, even Tiff shocked but in wonder what was that instead of being is shock because of the lightning hitting us. 

We had a tornado warning this morning, heavy rain, snow and now the sun is shinning. This truly has been a weather day. 

This morning I looked through FB memories and this came up from my blog. This was in back in 2011. Roy was taking a photography class and looking for photo competition ideas. Brought a little laugh this morning. We were both so scared when it happened. As good of a picture that this would be, a chapel in the front of the prison surrounded by fences with razor wire on top. 

Saturday, Roy and I went out for breakfast and then hit the road for a day trip to Huntsville.  He has class most Saturdays and since it is spring break, we decided we needed a little get away.  We ate a late lunch at the Farmhouse, shopped, he took pictures and then we decided to take the back roads to Madisonville and of course pay homage to all things Buc-cess.  There was a small blip on our pilgrimage.  Roy wanted to take a picture of a prison chapel that was surrounded by fence and razor barbed wire.  I'm thinking there has to be a reason there are no parking signs all up and down that road in front of the prison.  Long story short, Roy was swarmed by three prison guards on foot and a guard in a car pulled in front of Sequisha so I couldn't drive away.  Roy had to delete the pictures, they recorded his TDL and our license plate.  They escorted him back to our car and gave me a dirty look.  Here's the deal, you can't take pictures of prisons.  I asked Roy didn't they teach this in law school?  He said no and I plan to ask for a tuition refund.  Roy is none the worse for wear, but my blood pressure spiked and I had the worst headache for the rest of the day.  Johnny Cash songs were playing in my head and I thought about all the Lock Down shows I've watched while everything was going down.  Ultimately, Buc-cees was not quite as much fun as it would have been before the photography incident. 

Foggy and Fog

This is a warning, not for the faint of heart or for those whose patience can be tried with stream of consciousness ADHD thoughts. The past few weeks have held it all but not my attention span for very long. No surprise, so who knows how it will go or just maybe a steam line of thoughts will play out in a consistent and logical basis. I am chuckling to myself. 

I have learned from an article on fashion that MC Hammer pants are coming back in style. I saw some examples in a Anthropology email. Not to be forgotten in nostalgia, I also saw that stirrup stretch pants will be in style this summer. Talk about pants at the opposite ends of the fashion spectrum.  

This week included Dr and Dentist appointments. Time for the mole patrol with the dermatologist. Two freezes on my face and a biopsy on my arm. Drat that baby oil with iodine days of high school! The wait is not bad at all because they run on time. At first we older types filled the waiting room but I must say, the conversation between two older women is the best I have heard on the state of weather in a long time. These strangers became BWF, best weather friends,  in a matter of seconds. They read to each other the low and high temps for the next week but they used different weather apps for comparison. The weather fun stopped when one was called back behind the golden door. The woman left behind looked for another patient with weather on their mind but we all looked down at our phones. 

Roy and I have decided to try and go out to eat once a week or at least once every two weeks. Not a hard or fast rule but we are in a rut of eating at home. Who ever thought I would write that? Not me, for sure. We have some options that we like and several new places to try. 

We now come to that difficult season, feels like spring but too soon to wear spring clothes. Next week a little bit of winter returns but those heavy wools just don't fit into March seasonal wear. I am better prepared for late summer into fall. Along with MC Hammer pants and stirrup skinny pants comes the "new" colors for spring and summer. Lots and lots of neutrals. This seems across the board from most of the stores or labels I buy. Funny, used to be a big Flax person, still somewhat. When I was a tourist here I went into a store in the lovely Biltmore Village. They had carried Flax previously and couldn't find any. She said she quit carrying Flax because the styles never changed, the colors rather pedestrian, and since Flax is made to last, why buy one more item of clothing that you have lots of in your closet. Made sense and although I still purchased Flax clothes that thought lingered. It influenced me and now that Flax has gone online only, it is helpful to not run into it at stores. J Jill still interests me and a few other brands as well. I was thinking the other day about furniture phases...went from cheap-o, to Eddie Bauer's (when they sold furniture), Basset, Crate and Barrel and Pottery Barn. Have a lovely mixture now.

It is now Sunday and the work I did yesterday moving some boxes etc... caught up with me this morning. My lower back was tight and I surely was feeling it. Continued getting ready but had to make the decision to call or text in that I would be missing in action this morning. I put some stuff on my back and got out the heating pad and slept for two hours. Feeling better but I'll be hitting the heating pad in just a little bit. 

So today is International Women's Day or something. Wasn't it just International Cat Day? I cannot keep up with these made up days. I thought today was my back hurts, so I didn't make it to church day when I really wanted to make it. I went to bed early on Daylight Savings Time Eve and I had one rosemary cracker to celebrate National Rosemary Spice Day. Roy celebrated International Women's Day by making a cup of hot tea for me and he stirred it with a fork. I had to do my National Make Sure They Aren't Experiencing Dementia Day by asking did he know he gave me a fork. Yes, he knows because he used it to get the crystalized honey out of the bottle. Tomorrow is I Will Not Let Roy Forget He Made An Early Morning Eye appointment on the first Monday after Daylight Savings Time. Ugh! 

We celebrated the First Monday of Daylight Savings Time in the dark, on back roads, and freeways. To add to the general malaise of losing an hour, we battle fog. Oh my, this fog was worse than August morning fogs here in the mountains. Roy said it was a London fog, thick and cold. He had the best description going. Not only heavy fog in the country it was also heavy fog in the city. Truly it was a battle especially on our back roads that always carry the threat of deer crossing the road.  After Roy's appointment we drove through still heavy fog to The Moose Cafe for breakfast. It was delicious as always. Even at 9:30 when we left the moose, you guessed it heavy fog. We decided to punt on going to Barnes and Noble and returned home, in heavy fog. Finally around 11:00 it lifted but that one strange morning and being on point watching all elements is exhausting. 

Looks like my ADHD didn't command too much of a take over on the blog post. 

Glad, Happy, Joyful

 Wednesday evening as we left the choir room and stepped outside, if we slowed for just a moment, there a choir of birds sat in the tree across from the church spilling their hearts out with songs they have sung all their lives. Maybe they were responding to our songs we practiced and sang because the choir had an exceptional night of picking up the new at least for this time around music of the Easter season. I stopped and listened to those delightful notes from those songsters across the way. They even added some choreography for the fun of it. Even here at the house the notes from birds has increased. The birds return as The Feral Fam decreases. 

Enjoyed my first book club meeting although I didn't like the book we read so much. The group all expressed mixed feelings but after discussion I liked it better. I used Good Reads for reviews to give me the pertinent info. One note of what we all picked up on, the mindset, guidelines, nay I say rules put on the 1950 through the early 1960s for women. When we discussed that we all had strong opinions on those rules and how they were typically enforced then reinforced. When I was a kid I worried about the getting my hair curled and fluffed and lacquered with hairspray once a week. I couldn't even think about it cause although I have spent a lifetime worried about my hair, I don't like to give hours and hours toward it. Really, we all know someone who has held onto those scripts from yesteryear and they don't hold much happiness to those who partake. They are required or so it seems to been seen a certain way, respond a certain way and keep those confining scripts in tact. Surely, they will come back in style. We talked about our next selection and we are going to read The Extraordinary Deaths of Mrs. Kip. I just finished it and was my recommendation. Just realized that Mrs. Kip lived life during those same times but countered all of them by living a full, meaningful and at times somewhat difficult life. 

I missed Bible study but my signs unto me were popping up and I know when that happens to take it easy. So, that's what I did. 

We had very few snowflakes on our way to church on Sunday but it was really, really cold! Roy's UGG boots I ordered for him arrived on Saturday so he was able to wear those to church to keep his toes nice and warm. We get to go back into the congregation after the choir sings our anthem. So that is such a nice thing to add to the service. Love sitting with Roy for many reasons but one is, he keeps up with the note taking and I can grab a glance now and then to keep up. 

This cold snap has the best of both worlds. It is a short snap and the snow that fell didn't really stick. The roads were a problem until they were sanded or salted. I sat in our front bedroom and watched the snow whirling and dancing down to earth yesterday afternoon. I also finished reading The Correspondent. I really liked it and reminded me of my friend Beth. We have known each other since the 6th grade and once we graduated from high school our lives were on different paths but we wrote to each other earnestly and faithfully. We discussed many  issues, joys, problems and things that were difficult to understand. I kept all those letters and only culled through them when moving. Now, we don't keep in touch that often but I know we could pick up right where we left off. 

Last night after choir, I didn't stop to listen for the birds. That's okay other good happenings were going on in those few minutes from the door to the car. Choir practice felt hard last night but that is due to the fact I don't sight read and depend on hearing notes. With several new to me songs I listened more than sang. Also, the voice was raspy and the notes, high. The whole raspy voice thing has to do with tiredness and heart issues. Just like a sore throat is a sign unto me, I am pushing it and it would be for the best to step back inside those parameters. 

We are happy that LSU WBB won against Tenn last night. I was glad to talk with Peggy for about an hour last night. Serious conversation with more silliness conversations being in the majority. I am joyful over our study of Mark 13 yesterday at Bible study. 

Procrastination

Today, is one of those days that I take the time to remember. Recent events and some so very far in the past. Yesterday, I did something I usually do not do, I watched several hours of TV. The combo of LSU Baseball and Seinfeld reruns. I watch in snippets not having the attention span for several hours. 

I had seen on FB that the baseball fields in Westbury Little League were dedicating plaques and such for the 1966 Westbury Little League team that won the LLWS. One of the boys on the team lived next door and another one lived around the corner. The boy next door is a Dr, Chiropractor, and I think he still has a practice although he is probably in his early seventies. As I looked through the pictures I saw names of boys who I had gone to elementary school with. Growing up next door to one of the boys was not easy. My father was always at odds with them over using our front yard as part of a football field. My mother was jealous of the mom who lived there. Beautiful and very thin. If my father talked to her or talked about her, my mom was not too happy over that. It seems to me that the father might have been an alcoholic but memory does not serve me there. It also seems that were problems between the next door mom and dad, but I was too young to know. My goal was to keep out of sight and away from any confrontations with the two sons. They always had water balloons. Ugh! As I looked at the pics from the weekend it led me to looking up the obituaries of the mom, dad and daughter. I don't remember them being particularly religious and it was evident in the obituaries. Suddenly, the people who had been the bane of existence in childhood felt like a heavy load. I don't remember inviting them to church, they would probably bring water balloons 😇. Even after being in high school and no longer nervous over a surprise sprinkling or deluge, no longer running in the same circle of friends, my father put up a hedge between the houses. I just looked up the address and that hedge is still there but not serving in the original purpose. Another thing I noticed with the pics and comments from long ago neighbors, some still run with a lot of bitterness. Some thought it was a high school reunion type thing that only the popular kids got invited to. Several years ago I posted some volleyball pics from back in my senior year and a long time schoolmate took umbrage with me that she didn't play in games and had to do scrub team work but I wouldn't know about that cause I played. I responded to her comment that I never felt secure in my position with the team because the coach didn't like me and she appealed to another girl on the team to lose weight to be able to take my place. I did dress out and was on varsity all three years, but I didn't know from year to year what my status would be. I did know in high school my status was not cool kid and I got over the desire to aspire to that "high calling" rather early in life. Happily even now living as a nerd with traits of dorkiness. 

With a false spring week we are taking advantage. Got the water filter cleaned and little things here and there that have needed attention are getting attention. Roy got the last of the remnants from the weeklong stay from some of those who took advantage of the Inn on the Catmore Estate. Roy loaded up the truck with stuff for Habitat and a little later I'll do some sweeping up on the back porch.  

We had a choir party on the 8th after church at the pastor's home. It was great! Last Friday The Travelers group from church went to Pig and Grits in Burnsville, one of our favorite restaurants. WE enjoyed lunching with friends. Roy and I made a quick visit to The Find. Always such fun to look at everything. While I am not actively trying to acquire things I did see a couple of tempting sheep things. I have enough. I find myself in a vase, candle and tapers season. 

I am de-crystalizing honey this afternoon. I have joined Roy in a hot tea season and using honey, local honey as a sweetener. Some of it has crystalized so finding out microwaving would lose nutrients and such, I am doing the warm water bath on the honey. Making progress. Roy has gone to his first appointment with our new doctor. Roy put us on a waiting list in August and we did a meet and greet last Monday. We've filled out all the paperwork for the process. I asked for an appointment in March cause I want to get some of the weight I gained over the holidays lost.  Just heard from Roy and he is really pleased with the doctor and staff. Yay! 

This morning, well actually I knew last night, I was getting all the "let this be a sign unto you, Nancy" to step back and rest. I missed Bible study this morning but it is always about keeping in my parameters. So, it has been a laid back day. Did get a few things done. I miss studying together but book group will be fun. 

This has taken some time to finally get ready to be posted. Sometimes when I write about those long ago times that were pretty darn tough to maneuver through I think about a whole bunch of stuff. One thing is, in junior high school, That says enough right there, but every once in a while my father would tell me to go over to this neighbor girl's home. Ha, he said he was worried I would never make friends yet he devoted a lot of time trying to usurp any confidence that I had to make friends. Lots of times I'd just go outside for a while cause even though that neighborhood girl that went to school with me was the biggest drug dealer at school. Her nerdy looks covered for her. Now if she dressed like a hippie they would have taken care of that in a heartbeat. I can't even remember her name, maybe Linda or something but they finally figured out she was the one dealing the drugs. 

While Searching for Sweatpants

 When those winter storms arrive and leave, then a little bitty snow and ice come back for the brief visit, when Bible study is cancelled and one doesn't really want to clean baseboards and such, you find some namby pamby project. Today, I searched for another pair of sweatpants but I remember a couple of years ago I gave them to Goodwill cause it was never cold enough to wear them. I was hoping to find at least one more pair in a chest of drawers we only use for putting the TV on in the bonus room. Nope but I found a mesh storage bag that holds a lot of memories. 

Back in 2014 Roy gave me a month in Asheville for my birthday and it was also time to look for a home to purchase. In all the joy I experienced that month hunting for homes, using my pass to Biltmore and sight seeing throughout the area, there was a bit of trembling, not a chaotic storm brewing until overflow, but my father threatening me to come right now to pick up around eight boxes of things my mom wanted me to have as well as somethings that were mine from childhood. He sent threatening letters and threats to our home in Houston. Now in hindsight because of the "flying monkey" I see he knew I wasn't in Houston, thus the all out all hands on deck attack. He mentioned the plates my mom had promised me and that was the hook. When we were served  with documents severing the relationship with him in 2012, we took him at his word and acted thusly. He tried multiple times to get us to interact with him again. No, my chains were gone, I'd been set free. We had friends who volunteered to get the boxes but after returning back to Houston, I met a friend of his at a shopping mall parking lot. A lot of a mall that almost abandoned. No attention grabbing of course. She in a Jaguar and I in a Toyota Sequoia. She gave me the boxes. I opened the boxes in the garage once I got home and I'm so glad because for the most part those boxes were filled with garbage, odds and ends and boxes they didn't unpack when my parents moved back to Houston from Georgetown. No plates because he had given them to my brother.(my brother gave them to me later) I cried some hard tears and then I was mad that he had gotten me like that. Although, in the midst of these boxes were some important papers concerning my mom but there were important memories with my mom and my grandmother. That is what I stumbled upon yesterday while looking for sweatpants. 

My grandparents served at Mound Chapel for many years. My mom grew up in that church. My grandfather was the superintendent of Sunday School for many years in the 1940-1950's. On a whim, I Googled up the church and it is still there and still serving, although an older congregation. A woman made a comment on one of the pictures about growing up there and she referred to someone by the name of Corky. My mom had a friend named Corky. I messaged the lady and she responded. Wrong Corky but she knew my mom from church. Wow! We exchanged a few pleasantries but like me has moved away from the area of that long ago time. She remembered my grandmother too and she loved her. How could you not? My grandma was one of the best!  

I wrote down yesterday afternoon the times these battles and assaults happened and now so obvious, he was getting information from the flying monkey. He once said to my brother, the flying monkey was his best customer. 

We are still in our WWII mindset here. Not us fighting like WWII but watching documentaries. We watched a couple at lunch time and we made delicious fajitas. 

It is a very cold day and the wind chills are fierce. We have a warm up week ahead and for this we are thankful. Looks like nothing weather wise will impede getting to go to church.