Sunlight Awaits

One of my favorite drives is along the river road. Doesn't matter if I am headed to Marshall or headed to I 26, the twists and turns, the river, the beauty and yes the ugly enthrall me and the huge dump trucks that travel way too fast on that corridor scare me. It was mainly overcast skies yesterday yet the light variances among the curves and straightaways is noticeable even on cloudy days. So it was along the river road yesterday that a few considerations came to mind as the road bent and curved and the lighting went from light gray to steel gray to dusk, yet is was only about 10:20 am.

You see, yesterday, I was on the way to the dentist office for a second attempt to seat the crowns on the implants. It wasn't the second trip that took my attention, it was the fact this journey probably began around the time I was sixteen years old. My mom took me to our childhood dentist. The details are not crisp in parts of this story like was this a special trip or a routine one? The appointment was after school though and after the examination, our dentist called another dentist in the med center that did extractions and asked if he would take us at this later hour. He agreed and we were off to his office where he extracted the tooth in question, on the upper left side of my mouth. It was a Novocaine pulling and that means you hear every rip and tear as they work on that tooth. Afterwards he asked me if I had experienced repeated blows to that side of my face because in his evaluation all those top teeth felt a little loose. I looked over at my mother and she gave me that little helpless look like...please don't mention anything...so my response to the doctor was this, I play volleyball and I've had several hard blows to the face. He seemed satisfied with the answer and this is before en vogue questions like, do you feel safe in your home but he volunteered his opinion that I would lose all those top teeth over the span of my life. I don't remember his name and I never saw him again, but that dentist was certainly correct. Almost all my dental troubles have been that upper left side.

You see, my father was a hitter, a slapper of the face...sometimes maybe even a little punch thrown in when he thought he could get away with it...and he always got away with it. Those hard slaps and hits were usually used in "learning a lesson" type situation. So whether it was learning about nouns, adverbs and adjectives or having door or drawer closing lessons, the hit to the face was the choice learning device to use in his arsenal . An aside, when I was in my 50's, my father wanted me to proof and make corrections on a letter he had written...his grammar and punctuation usage was atrocious. As we went over the mistakes, you know the thought came to mind to use his teaching techniques....but of course, I didn't.

Those early years of battering my face took its toll. Gradually, beginning in 1977 through about 2009, all those teeth were pulled. The oral surgeon advised we wait till all teeth were gone to begin the restorative work with implants. Then, life happened and other things needed to be tended to and the implants were put on a back burner. In 2014 we were beginning to start the process and when we came home from Western North Carolina in September with an accepted offer on a house, I returned the implant journey on a back burner.

Last year, Roy and I decided we needed to begin this journey once again. So since the spring of 2017, this has been a top five item on the health path and almost everything that has been successful has had to go to a second try both in putting in the hardware of the implant and then with the seating of the crowns.

So, yesterday all those twists and turns and light changes on the road gave pause for remembrance and then gratitude for surgeons and dentists attention to detail to finally make this moment possible. Over the years I have spent a whole lot of time in a dental chair and have experienced all kinds of dental work, some of it very painful and I never cried, I never shed a tear. That record came to an end yesterday morning, because after the seating and grinding and polishing, I sat there in that dental chair and wept tears of joy...notice I did not write the ubiquitous "with tears streaming down my face," Now, I can smile big again or not say when being photographed, I'd rather have the pic taken from this side.

It was a little strange last night when I sat down to eat my supper...still getting used to being able to use both sides. This morning, it seemed less strange and surely in the coming days, never another thought will be given but I will remain and always be thankful for these implants. Praising God for  His supply, thanking God for a husband that encouraged me, repeatedly, to begin this expensive journey.

While checking out at the front desk yesterday, they asked if there was a reason we had a credit on our account. I thought she said it was $12.50, so I said let it ride...but no it was not that amount. You can move the decimal point over two spaces to the right. Woohoo! They will be sending a refund. Now that was an unexpected surprise. Kind of like when you're driving the river road and gray has been the companion to the trip and then you come around a curve and sunlight awaits.

A Quick Bit Of Catch Up

I have to tell y'all I am a little weirded out by the return of Mama Cat. She came back today and it took her a while but she ate....a lot...and poor Riley got swated this afternoon by her granny. Camo came over to check her mama out and went on about the business of eating. Poor, sweet Riley trying to bond with someone and this is what she has to pick from... I am trying to get her interested in coming into the garage in the evenings but so far, she's not biting. I would let her in the garage with food and warm blankets and let her out in the mornings. It was a year ago November 25th that Mama Cat showed up with three kittens. Hmm, maybe she has a summer home in the area and feels like this is her winter residence. Who knows, but we will be keeping an eye on the situation.
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Well, I don't know if Mama Cat came around today or not since we left in the early afternoon. Looked in the backyard when we got home and all the bowls were turned over so a cat or a possum had a good supper tonight. Camo has moved out of the backyard and I don't know if she took her kittens with her or if she has set them free to adult life. I said to Roy this morning if something happens to Riley we are stuck with two cats that I really don't care for, Mama Cat and Camo. You know you can get that little quickening when you know you are about to have or learn a spiritual lesson. Oh my...it was just so easy to love Cali.

We did other things this past week than be saddened by the loss of that little feral cat. On Monday we went up to Boone and yes, once again the town was rocking! So, we went to plan B which became lunch first, then shop. We ate at the Dan'l Boone Inn Restaurant. We had heard good things and we were not disappointed. After lunch, I sat in the car while Roy walked uphill to a tshirt store because he has wanted another Appalachian State tshirt. He hit pay dirt and found two and brought one for me too. Then we went to Valle Crucis to Mast. A good shopping trip and then our last stop Grandfather Mountain. Y'all, it was so dang cold up there on that bridge. My ears were freezing off! We didn't spend a lot of time up there but rather came down to the nature center area to get warm and get something to drink. Roy got some good pics during our trip up the the high country.

Tuesday, it was the good ol Costco run to Spartenburg. We had lunch at Longhorn Steakhouse and it was delicious. On our way back home Roy began not to feel well, so he rested for the rest of the evening. Wednesday, well we took Buddy to the vet for her steroid shot and mani/pedi and then of course you all know what happened during the afternoon. Meanwhile Roy was sounding worse. We had planned on going to The Farmer's Daughter but the thought of the drive and probably waiting didn't appeal to Roy, so we were so fortunate that our church did something new this year. Instead of our usual Sunday night before Thanksgiving church fellowship...the church had a Thanksgiving meal on Thursday and invited the community to come and have a good meal. So thankful for the servant hearted of our church.

Friday afternoon we had made plans with Inez and Cuman to go up to the Cattaloche. We have planned this trip several times and never have been able to find compatible times. Friday morning Roy knew he could not do it. He had no energy and he didn't want to sit there and cough and sneeze and blow his nose the whole time. So, we will hope for good weather at Christmas and go then. We did keep his holiday tradition of going to Lowe's. He was mainly looking for a couple of things for his office and we are probably going to need a new microwave soon. Think ours is on its last legs.

Well, I have a whiny cat, Buddy. She wants to go to sleep but is encouraging me to think of doing that myself. Not ready but hopefully, she will settle here soon.

Still Remembering Cali

While putting on eye makeup this morning the thought occurred, why in the world are you doing this? This morning there were tears shed almost each and every hour. The backyard silent, no stirring...nothing. Even shaking the treat box didn't rouse anyone who usually came running. With nothing moving the daily breakfast being served outdoors was just milk and some treats. The usually safe feeling deck has lost its safety. Not even Camo was around. After getting dressed I trudged back up to Cali's resting place. Added a few more rocks to the heart shaped rock, spread more pine straw and made a cross out of the tree root we pulled out of the ground to make room for Cali and a semi large stick. Came back to the house and cried a little more. Since Roy has been under the weather since Tuesday and is just now regaining his voice, we opted for the Thanksgiving lunch at church and didn't go to The Farmer's Daughter like we had planned. The thought of jockeying for a place in line just didn't appeal to either one of us. We also considered staying home and finding something around here to make for lunch. I was afraid I would bust out crying if anyone said anything about Cali but we decided to take that chance and some Kleenex in my jean pockets just in case. We had a delightful time at church. There were a good amount of people, most not church people and that was the goal. The food was delicious. It felt right to be there today with our church family and to laugh and tell stories and just talk. Bonus, we even came home with supper for this evening. Now that is wonderful. There were the kind words to me about Cali. Y'all, I know she was just a cat and a feral one at that but that little cat was a blessing and it was comforting to look out in the back and see her watching over her kingdom on one of those big rocks. Or she would be stretched out on the deck napping. It became a favorite to call her name and then Riley and watch those two come from underneath the fence and bound down to go under the deck and then peak from under the stair to see what was being served or if it was snack time. 

Right before we left for church, Roy told me Riley was in the back. Yes! I went outside and put out a few more treats and a bowl of food. Took a few pictures and then we left. When we came home Roy told me that Riley was under the deck looking out. Now Riley rarely does that. She looks between the railing slats thinking she can see us but thinks we cannot see her. I told Roy oh that's not Riley, it is Big Sissy Daddy. But then the black and white cat came out from under the deck and ate a few treats. Could it be? I started looking at pictures on my phone....y'all that cat was Mama Cat! She has not been around here since early June and so we assumed that she had died. Never one of slight build, she still carried herself in that grand stocky way and she looked like it hurt to walk. Riley wasn't afraid of her but did the cat deference thing...as if she knew who she was or had been introduced or saw her on a regular basis. Mama Cat began that long climb up the hill and then rested on a big rock. She sat there for quite sometime, then gingerly began moving down into the bowels of the gravel road and the ravine. Y'all that was just a strange moment...why did she show up? Where has she been? 

Camo made a food appearance and left quickly. Think she has moved her brood maybe over toward Mary Joyce's home. I am worried for Riley. She and Cali were constant companions. She let me be rather close to her today but she did keep a wary eye on me. 

Buddy keeps looking out the windows as well but it seems that maybe Riley spends a lot of time on the front deck or under it and that is one of the reasons Buddy wants to be out on the front porch. This afternoon it was warm enough to let her out. 

I know each day the grief of losing Cali won't be so raw. And every blog post won't be about her or the Feral Fam or Riley. There are so many stories I never shared in this past year of taking care of this little cat family. I took a lot of pics that I never posted on Facebook. Several have said to me and it is true how God brings these animals in our lives. Buddy is a gift from the Lord and even though she is kind of whiny at times, she has been used to teach me so much. The Feral Fam needed a little help last winter and I was happy to jump into their lives. I cannot give a thought of thought to the what ifs? If she still had her kittens would she have been on the move so much? She would still dominate in keeping the territory of the deck. If I had been at home more the past week and hadn't missed the regular schedule, would she have wandered? There aren't any answers to those questions but I have wonderful, fond memories of each morning being expectant to see The Fam. And the lessons I have treasured, learning and refining, I wouldn't trade them. 

Being a calico cat and blending in with the scenery probably preserved her body. Today the way a leaf was arranged, there were times it looked like she was out there. Again, I am so fortunate to have found her yesterday and to bring her home and place her near the spot she loved....where she had fond memories....if cats have memories. I went out there this afternoon and placed some solar lights nearby. 

I was happy to share her with y'all. Thank you for the kind comments and thank you for your patience as I remember her. She was so loved by so many....I wish that day she almost came in the house had been successful. 

Cali Feral Passed Away Today

I met the Feral Fam last November 25th. Mama Cat had them sitting under a fir tree up near the gravel road. Those little kittens grabbed my heartstrings right away. I remember going up to them with a couple of bowls of Buddy's food. I left the bowls and began walking away and those kittens devoured the food. After a few days and a trip to the store to get them wet food, they would come down into our yard to eat. The temps were getting colder and snow in the forecast. After searching The Google for warm alternatives for feral cats, I did the best I could and bought them a tent. I filled that tent with things to insulate from the cold and lots of towels and blankets. I put the tent under and back of the fir tree and hoped the Feral Fam would take advantage of the warmth. I called it the tent of meeting at first but then realized they used the tent during the day as the tent of napping. So the tent became the tent of napping. I brought out blankets to set their food on hoping to give their little paws some warmth from the cold, frigid temps. 

Last night, in the middle of the night, I thought about Roy, Buddy and me. Roy and Buddy sleeping soundly, me not so much. Buddy had a rough start to the night and couldn't settle down. So, of course at 3:00 am we get up to get "laced treats" which means chill pill or two broken open and put into the bag. Yes, that helped her settle. So Roy, who was a little congested so he was snoring a bit, Buddy making little sleep noises after getting bedtime treats and now with the colder temps, good ol whistle nose is back for me. I thought we have so much to be thankful for, this little noisy band of sleepers. And like I have for almost a year I asked the Lord to keep Cali and Riley safe. Even when Buddy and I came downstairs at 3:00 am I did the usual look see out the back windows to see the kiddos were out having a late night. All was quiet out in the backyard, not a creature was stirring, not even a possum.

This morning we had breakfast and began our day. Buddy had an appointment at the vet, so we needed to get the chill pill in her. We accomplished that with relative ease and with that task taken care of we continued about the morning. We left for the appointment, came home. Roy and I left to go eat Mexican food and came home. I had a few things that needed to get into the mail today, so as soon as the heater guy called and said he was on the way, I took the stuff bound for the post office and began that trek. Right as I got to a familiar crossroad near our home, I looked over and there on the side of the road, lying in the grass was a calico cat and I knew those markings so well...it was Cali, member of the Feral Fam. My heart sank, tears came immediately and I called Roy to tell him I saw Cali, dead on the side of the road. Business taken care of at the post office and then I made my way home knowing what I needed to do. Roy wanted me to wait to go get Cali until the heater guy left but I could not stand to think of a bird or an animal picking Cali apart on the side of the road. That cat deserved so much more than that. I grabbed an old towel, a garbage bag and a shovel, because I did not know if I would be able to pick her up to wrap her in the towel. Oh and a pair of garden gloves. I was able to pull over to a safe spot and hoped against hope there was still life in that cat, but I knew when I saw her the first time, there wasn't any life. She was lying there on her side, something had skinned away a portion of fur on her left leg. Her eyes were closed and a little blood had ran out of her mouth. From somewhere deep inside I found the courage and the strength to pick that little cat up so I could wrap her in a towel. Even with her being a feral cat and running through the red clay around here, she always kept her white fur on her legs so clean, almost brilliant. I brought her home and laid her in repose on the backstairs to the deck. That is where she and Riley loved to have their treats. As a kitten Cali spent a lot of time on the deck running and playing with Camo and MJ and sometimes even Mama Cat joined in. Riley came from the gravel road and at first balked at being near Cali...when she realized it was her mama, she ran to the front yard and went under the porch. I was crying and sitting vigil over this little cat I named Cali that brought me so much joy. I wanted to bawl, but when the heater guy is in the house....you sit outside in the cold and cry hot tears that change quickly into cool tears as they ran down my face.



Loved those kittens and even Mama Cat but the one that stole my heart was Cali. She was the runt, got picked on, left out, swatted the most by her mama, her sister Camo was mean to her but her brother MJ protected her. In the evenings she would chase that red laser light all over the deck and up to the rocks behind it as I stood inside directing the beam. Mama Cat or Camo could be sitting outside waiting for me in the mornings to bring out breakfast and I might not make a beeline out into the cold but if Cali looked at me....I was out the door to get that baby some food. In March, when Lisa P was here, we caught Cali and Big Sissy Daddy expressing their love under the fir tree....I remember shouting something like, "not on my watch!" and went outside and threw bad limes at BSD. Several months later Cali brought her three kittens to the deck, kind of letting me see them briefly. Cali lost two kittens from that litter and thus Riley has been by her side since then. Cali and Riley would play and chase one another, it was like Cali was getting to have fun like she should have had as a kitten. When I would come out to the yard, Cali would run up to me and get pretty close, first she would do a little hiss and I responded with Cali, come on, I have never hurt you and always treated you well. Then she would start meowing and talking to me. We got to the point where we would do the almost closed eyes to greet one another. That is a cat's way of declaring trust and love. Cali was a good mama. She had a second litter. She kept them in the olive bucket on the deck when they were tiny little ones, eyes not opened yet. She and Big Sissy Daddy had another litter and almost exact copies of the first litter. The little orange kitten passed away and she had two left. Our neighbors were able to get the kittens, to provide a safer environment for them and they are thriving. But that kind of set Cali in a whirl. She wasn't as friendly or would come as close as she used to but all I had to do was call Cali and Riley and they ran down to the backyard cause it was the come for supper call. We were out a lot these past few days and missed the regular feeding times, but I always fixed their supper and put it out for them to find. Only Cali wasn't hanging around here as much as she had always done. 

I knew that Cali ran this area. She crossed the road all the time to get over to the cow pasture across from us. My neighbor Josh said she brought her kittens down to his house while they were little. Mary Joyce saw Cali and fed her like we did but she said the road was going to be the death of Cali...she was so right. 

All this time we tried several times to trap the Feral Fam but they were too smart to fall for anything and we gave it a rest for a bit. Cali knew I stood outside with them after placing the bowls for their consumption so that she and Riley got first dibs. Camo never would eat  while I stood there. Camo is a bully and there is some kind of cat hierarchy. When Cali didn't have her kittens anymore, she lost first right to the deck and under the house....Camo came in with her kittens. Cali and Riley were back to the gravel road and sneaking under the fence to the yard next door. 



Monday night I had a dream that Cali came running to me and let me pick her up. I rubbed her head and held her for a while and then she was gone. I woke up. The next morning I told Roy I don't think Cali will be with us much longer, only I was thinking she would be moving on, finding a new place to hang out. I saw her yesterday morning, she looked tired. She was shaking a tad. This young adult cat, having two litters of kittens while she herself was a kitten showed on her, aging her. She looked weary as she watched to see if I would place the treats in the same place as usual. I walked away and turned around to watch she and Riley for a moment. I always loved the sound they made crunching those treats up.



I think the Feral Fam was a gift to me from the Lord. Their arrival here was about the same time I began to dissect and ponder life as the first anniversary of my father's death was a few short months away. It had been hard for me to really grasp how much my father had hated me and the amount of effort he put into that hate. He was a complicated, mean spirited, narcissist. He was cruel and had made a great effort to be cruel to me even in his death. Thankfully, my brother talked some sense into him. But as I digested my life and the goodness of God in all those horrible and hard chaotic days of long ago, there were those feral cats outside, surviving. God taught me so much by watching them and caring for them. They never lacked a meal, had two tents, numerous blankets, treats and toys. 

I never got to touch or pet Cali in life but I was honored to pet her and then wrap her in the white towel in death. With the afternoon going by and the need to get her buried, I took the shovel up to the gravel road and looked for the suitable burial spot. I began to put the shovel in the ground when my heel began to sink in a soft place and I knew it was where we would lay her. I dug deep and wide, there was a fountain overflowing but it was my tears. My neighbor Nancy who has rescued Cali's kittens and one of Camo's, and he only has three legs, came by on her ATV and she helped me finish out the hole. I went and got Cali. We took her out of the bag, covered her better with the towel and began covering her with that red clay dirt. Funny, we had to adjust the towel when we put her in cause those brilliant white back legs were uncovered....we kept them clean just like she would have. A heart shaped rock was waiting close by to mark the spot of her burial. I don't think I have ever loved an animal that wasn't mine as much as I loved that little runt, Cali. I know friends buried their wife and mother today. On Friday Peggy will see her mother buried and eulogized. I know a cat is just a cat and out here in the country, can be a dime a dozen. That little Calico Cali made me happy and soothed my anxious heart with her presence. I will miss Cali but I shall never forget her.





Cali Feral was just a little over a year old when she met her death the way she lived life, wild and free. She leaves behind her partner Big Sissy Daddy, her daughter Riley, and two rescued kittens from her second litter, Tux and Canvas. She also is survived by her sister Camo and a niece and two nephews. Mama Cat, Dead Beat Dad, two kittens from her first litter and her brother MJ proceeded her in death. Also left behind to grieve her passing, her human friend Nancy Mon. Cali brought joy everywhere she went except if you were a bird or a mole.

Hand Bell, Sleigh Bell, Bat in Belfry...All Singular

It was very noticeable yesterday that the landscape around here has made the turn from fall foliage to winter. Leaves have dropped to the ground and the ones clinging onto limbs are getting that wearied brown coloring. The day is overcast and holds precip dangerously close. So far just a few sprinkles here and there. Beginning tonight, we are under a winter weather warning with most of the ice forming in higher elevations and along the Blue Ridge escarpment. Yesterday, it seemed like a good idea to make a Johnson City trip with a stop at Mountain View store either on the way or on the way home. This morning with the reports of heavier rain in the afternoon that trip is on hiatus.  Instead it was a trip to the bank, Fresh Market, Publix and the Shell station.

Houston has a freeze warning and was colder there yesterday than here. Roy left the office early to get the pipes wrapped. He had figured to do that after Thanksgiving but sometimes weather plays havoc with the usual. He has the heater guys coming out because the heater there has been wonky off and on. He said this morning the carbon dioxide detector went off but he thinks faulty batteries near the end of their life was the problem. Today is also moving day for him at the office. They are moving on up to the 8th floor. Roy's office is a little smaller than the one he had but he is thrilled that his group is closer to his office and they aren't spread out across the in various cubicals across the floor.
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My brother called this morning on his way back to Nashville. He had to take care of some paperwork to finally wrap up all the loose ends from my father's estate. Think he is happy to have it all come to a close. I was telling him about some of the research I have been doing on narcissists and in that research there was a fact that we knew all too well. Besides all the intentional cruelty one could experience from his hand, experts discussed why Christmas is the holiday a narcissist loves to destroy. There are just a few Christmas's that weren't sabotaged by our father. We both kind of moaned and then laughed cause we don't have to deal with that anymore and haven't had to for a long time. It was just nice to read that because it reinforced that we weren't crazy...well, not that kind of crazy.

I also talked with a friend this morning and I am thinking of not doing too much Christmas decorating, especially outside this year. Our women's ministry isn't doing the progressive dinner thing and I usually do an entree and cram a group of twelve into our little downstairs. Might not even put a tree. That is not unusual for us. Many years we didn't even decorate except I do remember our first Christmas together, married. We could buy a tree but didn't have money for decorations. Think Mom gave us some lights and I made the decorations out of that salt dough using cookie cutters. I still have the round ones with our names and 1977 on them.  We can spend half of the Thanksgiving holidays decorating for Christmas and then use three fourths of the Christmas holidays putting everything back up. That's the hard part but at least with Roy helping, he does the tedious things and that stuff gets put up correctly and not just thrown into a box with the thought of, oh we can solve this next year...um, don't. know who does that. But the beautiful sleigh bell from Dena arrived yesterday and that might stay out all year. It must be a sign unto me that playing the hand bell is God's will and the bell was the confirmation. She also sent pics of her new window treatments and wow, they are beautiful!

Today has been a fun day watching Cali and Riley playing and chasing one another across the backyard. It probably helps them stay warm. It is funny that you can look away for one moment and they are out of sight and a small movement telegraphs their position. Camo has been around a little but she is not playing, only watching.

Last night just as I was falling asleep a thought came about the Sunday School lesson this Sunday. I asked the Lord to let me remember it this morning cause if I had got up to check out the passage, it would have taken a very long time to fall back to sleep. He is faithful and this morning a little more work was done on the lesson.

Cold, Rain and A Snake...

It is a brief trip through Georgia when traveling from Alabama into Tennessee. A blip really but on the trip home on Sunday morning, coming out of Alabama into that blip, a huge sign greeted travelers upon the road...Welcome To Georgia, The Peach State. Honestly, I like South Carolina peaches better but that is an aside. Behind this colorful welcome sign were a row of smaller signs. There must have been around eight of them and each one contained a law or a rule of Georgia. So many signs for such a short trip. Yes, others might not be going to Tennessee but line up will be photo worthy on the next jaunt. Oh and after those eight or so signs, a few feet from the line up is a lone sign, like they forgot or since all those other signs were installed, a new law or rule had been put in place. Welcome to Georgia, now here is the law....  I know those signs are needed but they were difficult to comprehend with so much info flying by and we are all reminded by a sign that speed limits are radar enforced. The big greeting covered up all the incidentals. Don't get distracted by a big greeting. Learning that from Genesis and every time Laban thinks he is going to score gifts, money and treasures from a foreign visitor. All those signs behind the big greeting and welcome reminded me times when groups of friends or people have been invited to someone's house but there are so many rules, that well, it is just not worth it to go to the party or dinner or meeting. The list of possible infractions is near the surface of everything you might be thinking or experiencing. Thus the propensity for a rule infraction is much higher just like spillage is at a higher rate of experience when one wears white pants.

Such a bleak late fall but not yet mid winter kind of day. It looks like winter with a cold rain accompaniment. I woke up this morning with a headache, which I rarely have, and a sore throat which is always a sign unto me to slow down a bit and rest. So, I cancelled my workout with Taylor. Hated to do that but one learns through the years.

Maybe the headache was a sign unto me that I would lose the Merry Christmas Darling contest once again to the fourth time, reigning champion CourtneyS. When I saw her name come up on my phone this morning, I knew this wouldn't be a "what's up" kind of call. She barely won catching the last line of the song. Drat, nine hours on the road not one time MCD!

This year everything seasonal wise was about two or three weeks behind but now that the major holiday time is upon us, seasonal has caught up yet I am feeling and still on the three weeks behind kind of thing.  Holiday Warp speed is upon us.

It has been about a year of knowing the Feral Fam. The family looks a lot different these days than from the early days of taking food up to them on the gravel road. With these cold and wet times, I don't see them out and roaming like usual. This morning Camo was there for breakfast but Cali and Riley were absent. That doesn't mean they didn't come later. Cali and Riley have reunited in playing since our neighbor Nancy was able to capture the kittens. Cali hasn't gotten near me since then but does come when I call for supper time or snack time. Riley still gets close but is ready to move at a moment's notice...nothing has changed there. Cali is just a little over a year old and she bears some of those hard life looks yet other times she looks as young as a kitten. Thankfully, she has been back in the yard and Riley isn't too far behind.

The rain right now is dancing on the metal roof but glancing out the window in the distance it looks like snow. Maybe later in the week with some ice but today it is still a cold rain.
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We had a whole bunch of rain yesterday and that created a phenomenon in our front yard. Buddy, not taking no for an answer, wanted out on the front porch. So, with that much whining from her, the front door was open for her and she scooted out for a bit and that is when I noticed something like a fountain happening in the front yard right above the new flowerbed. Now, I knew it wasn't flowerbed related and it shouldn't be anything that has to do with our well and it was too far away from our septic tank and I had no clue what the heck was happening. I didn't want to but I put on my heavy winter boots, what a great investment in 2010, and traipsed out to the yard....kind of felt like Moses going over to investigate the burning bush. I took some pics and then with the toe of my boot moved some of the grass and sod away from the opening in the ground and dang it...I stepped on a snake. My first snake sighting all year long. I didn't scream but I made the quick move away from the water and watched that wiggling snake seek shelter once again. Y'all, I would have never guessed a snake...but he probably had made his winter home in that hole and much to his surprise, his home was flooded. At times the flow of water was so fast that the stream arched high, just like it had been planned in the new flowerbed design. I made a plea on FB for answers and then began calling friends. Cuman, to the rescue! He knew what it was and my fear relieved. Sure enough once the rain dissipated, the fountain filled with snake became a trickle and then stopped. Who knew that all the water from the gutters on the house flowed to this place in the yard? I learn more about mountain life every day. Inez called last night and this morning making sure all was well and I hadn't dreamed of snakes. Need to talk to Cali, Riley and Camo to see if they can make rounds out in the front yard. The other night Cali was on the fence between all those dogs as it was getting dark at 5:15 pm. Once again, winter boots to the rescue and I went outside to see if I could distract the dogs for her escape. While doing so my neighbor Josh was out in his yard and he got to see this beauty close up cause I hadn't brushed my bozo hair or put on makeup. My teeth had been brushed, whew! He said that Cali had brought her kittens down to his yard and had them covered by a big shrub. He put out food for her but he said once he had discovered her kittens, they were on the move. Makes me happy that others around here care for the feral and feed them too.

Houston is having sleet and snow. We should have ice Wednesday into Thursday morning. After making a post office trip this morning, I headed on over to the grocery store to pick up a few needed items, not ice related scare items. Got home and fixed orange chicken and jasmine rice. So very delicious! Buddy has gone to nap and that is sounding like a pretty solid idea.

Seasonal Change....Maybe Snow...Most Probably No

The drive last Wednesday through the Natahala was filled with the vibrant colors of the leaves changing. The yellows dazzled and the reds radiant. Not too many brown leaves but it was a show that can only be done by God. I thought maybe by the time I got back to the mountains the leaves would have already fallen to the ground. Some had but the display was on going. On a trip to Chattanooga and all those years we came up here as tourists, we always stopped in Andrews at the rest stop. Since it has been a couple of years since driving that way the Andrews rest stop has had a makeover and it looks really nice. They also redid the ramp up to the door not making the climb so steep. There are beautiful photo op spots all around there and the trees didn't disappoint. Once you hit the Birmingham area going south the vibrancy of the leaves began to dull and the brown hue more prominent in the trees. It was as if the trees and the leaves were just weary...weary from a long summer of heat.

It is good to be home. I left so many things not done around the house, so slowly but surely things are being done on the to do list. Salvation Army has changed its hours and made it a little more difficult to drop things off, so today it was a Goodwill kind of day. Drive through and easy to do. There were a couple of errands to be run in Weaverville as well.

Tuesday evening our neighbors were able to catch Cali's two kittens. Nancy is trained in kitten rescue so those two cuties are in good hands. Cali but more so Riley, seems to be a little upset with their absence. Cali has stopped coming up close to me but I am sure hoping to win her back. Tonight, in preparation for the cold temps that are to come beginning tomorrow, hay and straw has been strategically placed around the deck and house to help keep them warm. They have been using the tent of napping quite a bit and that includes Big Sissy Daddy. He is in there almost every afternoon. At first I was a little sad that the kittens aren't with Cali but really they will have a much better chance at life. Now to catch Cali and Riley....and mean Aunt Camo, get them fixed and then release them back into their habitat....gravel road and backyard. Camo today earned her snacks by chasing squirrels out of the edge of the yard.
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Today is a much needed day at home not so much for projects but for emotional and mental health. I started ardently on Wednesday working on the Sunday School lesson for November 18th. Usually, preliminary work has been done before then and it occurred to me that maybe that lesson prep should come with me to Shreveport, but the logical conclusion won that there wouldn't be time as well as there were other things to ponder and consider on the drive. I don't mind driving instead of flying because it is the best thinking and praying time along the road.

In earnest, I have been looking into narcissistic behavior to better understand my father and what happened in his life to make him one. So, thinking through what I have learned and applying it to understanding our life growing up took up a great bit of thinking time. There is a better understanding of his cruelty and the joy he got from other's pain. His "silent" treatment and his very skilled set of using manipulation to achieve what he wanted and sadly there at the end when his skill set diminished, the straws he grabbed at to maintain and control unraveled. He began to truly believe what he had told himself was the truth. Thinking on this is beyond the why did this happen to us and more the circumstances and decisions that influenced his behavior. His easy use of double speak and his ability to lie and be so believable to others were truly amazing and you know amazing is not an active word in my vocabulary. Since his death in 2017 I am more cognizant of the devices and speech patterns used by narcissists and when those red flag warnings go off inside me, distance, distance, distance is the location, location, location...that is where you'll find me. In the words of Carol King, "so far away."  On the drive I also listened to comedy radio and found myself laughing so hard and for so long. Jeff Foxworthy cracks me up. You can only listen to that when the land is flat and the trees sparse to keep the coverage without blips of interruption.

Overcast and rainy, no complaints here because it is a great way to read, drink tea and do a little writing. The call of sunshine makes exiting the house so easy and so wayward to soul care. Yesterday, Mike the Mower Man mulched the leaves in the yard for the grass to have some nourishment for spring. He is also coming back with his aerator to fertilize the yard. He was hurrying because of the forecast of rain. The rain made him hurry yesterday but the rain today is causing me to slow down and take in the seasonal change happening this weekend. Maybe snow next week, but probably in the higher elevations. 

Life In This Past Week Part Two

Let's see, where were we? Oh yes, we had just left the luncheon after the service. Friends and church members prepared a lovely smorgasbord. We got to visit with Jared and his girlfriend Madeline. She is a CPA so you know that she and Roy had so much to talk about...Jared and I just stared off in the distance dreaming of other conversations. Haha! I wish Sprint would bring back the little alien man that was on the flip phone. That animation could keep me entertained for long periods of time. I talked with Jessica, niece, who is a soccer coach at Florida Tech. She said last year she and her team got "stuck" in Western North Carolina when a hurricane made travel home impossible. They got to use the practice fields for Western North Carolina in Slyva...  They also got to do some hiking. Jason and Jennifer know Jenny J, so it is a small world...Jennifer works or worked for Jenny's long time assistant.

We left the luncheon and not getting to spend much time together...we headed....straight for...the....shopping area. What did you think I was going to write? Anyway, since the beginning of time or at least since the beginning of our marriage, I am the main shopper of clothes for Roy. We found some great shirts but forgot to look at pants. Oh well....then we went to the best Home Good Store I have ever been in....the one in Shreveport tops the one in Katy. It is all Home Goods and we found a lot of really good stuff, some of it needful. Anyway, it is always fun to re-introduce Roy to the whole Home Goods shopping experience. The aisles are too narrow, you have to sort through things to find the best stuff and there is an etiquette to the check out line.

Still full from lunch, we opted out of dinner and just snacked. We were both so tired. Lots of emotions to process for Roy. His youngest brother called him in the early evening asking if he wanted to meet him and his older brother at Buffalo Wild Wings, but Roy declined the offer electing to spend more time with me. Now that is a wonderful hubby. On Saturday morning we began gathering up all our stuff. I had brought Roy a lot of Dr. Enuf and White Lily flour for biscuit making. Also a lot of apples. He in turn brought my I Love Lucy pajamas, a red leather jacket and a heavier jean jacket. Oh and a primitive bench that didn't make it here in the last trip in 2016. Then we went to Academy. We found the shoes that Roy has been looking for and we loaded up on a bunch of LSU fan gear. It was a fun experience being in Louisiana on Alabama and LSU game day...and then night came and that is a whole nother story.  We came back to the hotel and finished loading up and then headed over for lunch at El Chico. Yes, more Mexican food and it was sooooo good!

After lunch, sadly...we went our separate ways for now. It was a long drive or so it seemed to Meridian where I stayed the night. In fact I stayed at the same hotel in 2014 when on the last day of my month in Asheville, we talked with a mortgage broker because the offer on the house we now own had been accepted by the seller. We left in the early afternoon and made it to Meridian that night. Now back to the present...Supper was at Cracker Barrel cause it is close by and meatloaf sounded really good. Ironically, the sound for the CBS station did not work on the TV in the room. So I tuned in to LSU radio...it would have been great if LSU had won but since there is a seven second delay I watched the play and then had to hear it a few seconds later. That first drive looked good when they stopped Alabama from scoring...but I went to sleep at halftime.

This is the second time I have traveled on fall back weekend and it is confusing to say the least. Been in central time, then an hour back, then going into eastern time the next day. At least the watches I took didn't need changing cause the hour back made ET, Central Time and I had already made that adjustment. Are you confused? I still am. I have not reset all the clocks in the house either.

Sunday morning it was up early and back to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. Then on the road. The timing of everything with the weather was a consideration since I would be in between systems. Arrival in Chattanooga was about 12:30. Went straight to the mall and did some shopping at Home Goods, Barnes and Noble, Belk, Academy and a return to Home Goods. That Shreveport store has really spoiled me. Lunch was delicious and at Abuela's. Yes, cheese enchiladas with chili gravy and I think this was the best chili gravy of the trip. Checked into the hotel and slept like a baby. Monday, up early and on the road with a side stop at Merceir's Orchard. Picked up some goodies and got back on the road and arrived a little after noon. Cali was here to greet me only because she was hungry, but I will take it.

Life In This Past Week Part One

Our cool and overcast morning is transitioning into a beautiful day. Originally, the day's forecast held mostly rain, some of it very heavy at times. That heavy rain happened overnight and I am sure it awakened many. Looking out the bonus room window toward the west, the sun is breaking through and Mary Joyce's home is gleaming in the radiance.

I left the mountains last Wednesday to drive to Shreveport. Roy's younger brother Mike had passed away on the 27th. Before leaving Wednesday held finally, the long awaited follow up visit from the ablation for afib and a-flutter on March, after being postponed twice by the cardiologist office. The visit held good news, great news in fact, probably the best news concerning my heart in a long time. I had some questions for the Dr about what he found and then corrected during the procedure. Five years ago the cardiologist used heat to correct the misfires, but this time here, they used the cold/frozen to correct things. The four places that had been addressed five years ago had become active again...so here's to do you want to build a snowman procedure and that it will last longer than five years. The Dr left though with the encouragement that the skipped beats and slower beats are nothing to worry about....for now....

The next thing on the list of to dos before leaving was taking Buddy over to Lois' home. Had most of everything assembled but decided to give her a chill pill for her first day there. Buddy came out of her crate immediately began exploring upon her arrival. No hiding for a day or so for her. Talking about Buddy, not Lois. Since I didn't want to upset Buddy before leaving, I didn't pull a suitcase out while she was here. So a mad dash home, packed and loaded the truck...then off for the first night in the Chattanooga area. I am a methodical packer but I was a bit remiss in packing necessary items, one of which was a brush. You might think, Nancy, your hair is designed for the messed up look...oh yes, but one has to use a brush at times to get that look. So now, I have along with my dedicated travel bag of product, designated hairbrush and pick that stay in the suitcase until it is go time. We realized when planning the journey that I would not make it on Thursday in time for visitation and provided a stressful release. It is still warm in Shreveport and all the spring/summer/early fall stuff has been put away here and only one winter outfit met the warm temp criteria. Upon arriving in Chattanooga Wednesday night, some of the planned shopping stops were put on hold cause I was dang tired. Ate at the local Cracker Barrel and then checked into the hotel. I had packed an extra day of clothes, so we decided I would add a Sunday night stay back in Chattanooga and use Sunday afternoon for the shopping stops.

Thursday was the longest day of driving but you get the hour back. Things I learned on this eight hour plus jaunt,

• Now I remember why we don't stop for gas in Gadsden Al. A nightmarish conundrum of trying to find a way back to the freeway when the most obvious way is highlighted by a sign that says no turns. Tallulah Toyota nor Google Girl could find a way out...so I made the illegal turn, over the train tracks, in front of a parked train and hoped that the police were somewhere else. Thankfully, they were.
• Most of the trip the station was set on the Holly station listening for Merry Christmas Darling..to be the first to hear the song and claim victory this year against CourtneyS. She has won about three years in a row. Some of those Christmas songs were played up to four and five times a day...Finally, I turned down the sound and just kept an eye out for MCD. Never heard it coming or going.
• During a hard rain storm while passing through Birmingham and Tuscaloosa, the difficulty seeing large 18 wheelers once again became a hazard. The trucks are usually light in color and even with lights are hard to see in a blinding rain storm. 
• Driving time is a good thinking/praying time. Many a time when facing difficulties, a drive is prescribed to speak to and hear from the Lord. 

Upon arriving in Shreveport and getting a key for the room since Roy had already checked in and had left for the funeral home, I had two things to take care of that evening, find some cheese enchiladas with chili gravy and buy a hairbrush. Both goals were accomplished and bonus...Barnes and Noble trip. It was so good to see Roy when he got to the hotel. We got one of the last available rooms and we had the advantageous first floor room but it was a handicapped room. Now that is was all good except for the fact that the closet had a low hanging bar which isn't good for tall people but we made it work to hang up our tall clothes. 

Our hotel was one minute away from the church where Mike's celebration service was held. The building used to be a car dealership and it had been converted for the church's needs. Very nicely done. We gathered as a family, right before the service for prayer. Deborah planned a wonderful celebration of Mike's life. Truthfully, I thought the time with Roy's family would be awkward. Roy has not stayed close to his brothers and thus here we are, infringing on their usual relationships. How does all that work? But God was in the midst and Deborah was so gracious to us, me in particular. She invited me to ride in the car with her since Roy rode in the car with all the pall bearers. I will forever be grateful for that invitation. We visited along the route as we were served by Shreveport law enforcement and the sheriff's department of Bossier City. Everyone of those law officers, as they stood by their cars letting us pass without delay, saluted. This began in the church parking lot, all the way to the cemetery. Cars on the other side of the roads, not freeways, stopped. It was truly something to take in. The graveside service was brief. Deborah, Jason, Jared and Lauren had picked a beautiful spot for Mike's repose and because Mike was a compassionate mentor and a lover of family, it was not lost on them that the area across from the cemetery is called Legacy. Deborah and the children took it as a sign that this was the right place. I believe they are right. We all gathered at Jason and Jennifer's home for lunch along with family and friends. It came time to say our goodbyes and we left enriched. Truly Mike and Deborah have a good legacy with their children and grandchildren and all the lives of family and friends and those who came into Mike's path, whether it was briefly or for a long time.

To be continued......