Speaking of eggs, that's what I had for supper last night....farm fresh eggs from just down the road at Farside Farms. He has a produce stand in town and The Fresh Market also sells his eggs. Happy to support a neighboring farm. Also, at the grocery store was my first sighting of mountain majesty tomatoes. Sliced up one to go with the eggs and biscuits...canned biscuits with sour wood honey. Yum! I forgot to eat lunch yesterday but that might have been because of the discovery of okra chips. Oh my goodness! They are simply delicious!
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A wet and rainy Thursday but it isn't really cold. Tonight and tomorrow we have wind advisories and with that the cooler temps arrive. The backyard is so muddy. Some smaller flat rocks and bricks are the makeshift way to cross the great muddy divide. I was so tired last night from cleaning out a few things and finding a home for some of the stuff that has had a temporary place on the kitchen table but not squatter's rights. I also was on cat watch last night in the early evening. An unknown orange and white cat prowled about on the gravel road and the kiddos stopped dead on in their playing, alert to the interloper. He was persistent and finally with bad fruit in my pocket, I stepped outside using the big spotlight flashlight Roy gave me. I didn't even get a chance to hurl one bad lime. Eventually, one by one the kiddos came out from underneath the deck to eat a little. I ate my salad in the dark keeping watch over my flock by early night.
The Facebook app gives you a look back on what happened on that day according to FB memories is sometimes really entertaining. February 28th has been a particularly active day according to what I have shared in the past. Numerous things have happened like going to Baylor and participating in the Alumni By Choice luncheon and program. That was a fun day. On the 28th in 2013 it was a morning at St Luke's Texas Heart Institute getting a TEE and CAT scan for an ablation on March 1, 2013. That procedure was a life changer and had done its work nobly until last year....when undue stress and emotions attacked with a vengeance. This morning thinking through that day and the immediate relief, I remembered when I first started seeing the Houston Cardiologist and mapping out the timeline and plans for recovery beginning in 2010, my father kept telling me I should go see his cardiac nurse. She would know what to do.... What in the world? I assured him that I wouldn't be leaving my cardiologist...he was a perfecter of the procedure. He traveled throughout the world speaking and demonstrating the improvements that had been made. He was recognized and honored for his work...no...I wouldn't be making an appointment to see his nurse, as competent and wonderful as she might be. Ironic, it was this same nurse that called in on March 27, 2012 concerned that my father hadn't been to his appointment...long story short, he had been there and me being in his house trying to find phone numbers and a license plate number when he returned home was the start of all that happened in the years following. Hmmm....in hindsight, she did help my heart.
It was a late lunch today after the oral surgeon appointment of which he told me I am a good healer and he will see me in August. I thought my regular dentist office had jumped the gun a bit on getting an impression cause I knew it would be a four to five month process. I'll call them on Monday. While eating lunch and reading email, the newsletter from Addie Zierman spoke, deeply to my spirit and she put into words some of what I have been experiencing for January and February. Her post on Winter Resourcing: 5 Things That Are Helping Me Through Winter 2018 is a must read. Not everything she wrote about applies but so much does and the link to her blog post on a better way to think of self care...so very helpful and here are some quotes to pine your interest.
My spiritual director doesn’t call it self-care. She calls it resourcing.
In our session early this month, she reminded me that without enough resources, we are prone pinging back and forth between frantic anxiety and debilitating depression rather than engaging with pain and need in a healthy way. The best thing we can do in these days, she says, is to find ways to stay grounded.
Resourcing vs. self-care. It’s a simple turn of phrasing, but it has changed the whole way I’ve approached my fragile February self this month.
I’ve come to associate the term self-care with bubble baths and massages and me time and naps. I think about comfort food – casseroles with loads of cheese and cream-of-something soup – and about rich desserts and about Tom and Donna’s “Treat Yo-Self!” day on Parks and Recreation.
I tend to be sensitive to the way we word things, and for all of its cozy connotations, I cannot seem to separate the term self-care with things that are a bit indulgent, a little bit luxurious.
But then, there is nothing luxurious about the word resourcing.
It is plain and simple and unglamorous. It brings to mind grocery shopping and wood cutting and preparing food and pouring water.
Resourcing is not so much about giving yourself what you want. It’s about honoring what you need and doing the work to provide it to yourself.
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People have, of course, been saying this same thing in different ways for years. Instead of saying, What is resourcing to you?, I’ve heard What breathes life into you? or What feeds your soul?
It’s the same concept, obviously, but that phrasing always felt a little woo woo and vague to me. I have never been able to move my answers from the cerebral to the space of my daily living.
But this question – Is this resourcing? – has become a touchstone for me this month.
Something that is resourcing will extend beyond the moment of comfort provided by a bubble bath or a second glass of wine or half a pan of cheesy potatoes.
When I picture it, I imagine a small space in my body from which I engage with the world. And then I think of it filling with air and space, expanding larger and larger, becoming spacious. Resourced
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