What the Beep?

Our world at the condo was kind of quiet.  Our appliances were so dated.  They were so 14 years ago.  Never, no not once, did they ever let us know their cycle was completed.  Neither our washer nor our dryer announced the clothes were done.  The only way you knew the dishwasher was finished is, you could hear the TV clearly.  Once the dishwasher stopped we had to be quick to turn the sound down as not to disturb any of our condo dwelling neighbors.  Our microwave had a ding sound but it never repeated itself to remind us we had cooked food ready to be consumed.  I faintly remember the few times we used the oven, there was a loud and obtrusive buzzer that went on with infinitude until someone rushed into the kitchen to turn the blasted thing off. 

Here in Katy we have been introduced to the world of beeps.  Both the washer and the dryer have a series of beeps to announce completion.  Because of Roy's, Paul Revere, mishaps with the alarm system, many a time we jumped to find the remote control to shut the thing down.  Now that we are veterans, the washer and dryer beeps don't quite move us the way they used to.  The dishwasher beep still alarms me since we usually run it later in the evening.  I used to head toward the laundry room thinking, I don't remember starting a load of laundry...but now I know, dishes are ready to be unloaded, that is if we chose to do so.  Then sometimes we have the I will wait you out and use every clean dish in the dishwasher before I officially unload this thing.  That doesn't happen very much, but I'm sad to report, it has happened in the past, but not the recent past.  Our refrigerator beeps if the door has been left open.  The microwave continues with intermittent beeps if we don't retrieve the contents in a timely manner.  The oven timer beeps loudly.  Yes, I have used the oven, but not as much as the microwave.  The entrance doors to our house beep every time you open one. 

Now, wearing a heart monitor, I beep.  When I take a recording there are a series of beeps.  If the monitor is full, it beeps.  Or if the batteries need changing, another series of beeps.  Can you imagine my surprise when I started to beep intermittently in the Hobby Lobby.  Roy and I had gone to lunch and we stopped in at the ol' HB to pick up some picture hanging wire and hooks.  When I beeped in the frame department, I wasn't too alarmed because it was just us.  Since Roy is the faster one, he began a hurried jaunt to the check out...because there is always a line or a price check or a return gone bad.  When I finally caught up to him in line, I was one continuous beep.  You know like the beep in movies right before a bomb goes off?  At that moment I had to decide whether to toss all modesty aside and get to that monitor to shut it off or be swarmed by HB security because they're thinking maybe I'm one of those crazed people that strap bombs to themselves.  I glanced up to see the reaction and situation around me.  There were some intense looks and a lot of heads scanning the area to see who the beeper was.  Thank goodness there wasn't a TSA agent buying craft supplies behind me.  I would have been subject to a pat down and of course after that much touching, I might have to ask for a cigarette.   So as not to draw attention to myself, I calmly reached under my t-shirt and sweat shirt to unhook the monitor and get it out where I could see it.  Success...so far.  Then I unattached the monitor from the wires.  Of course I'm standing there with a set of wires and electrodes coming out from the bottom of my sweatshirt.  So I think, well maybe it was a bad connection and I reattach the wires into the monitor.  Nope, beeps start up again.  Quickly I rip the wires out of the monitor.  It is then I decided before anyone could announce a Code 3 on register 2, to just go on out to the car.  When Roy catches up to me at the car, he asks, "what the beep is going on?"  Now that was pretty funny.  Once I got home I found the source of my beeping.  One of the electrodes had come loose and beeped to warn no readings were going on. 

So that's the whole beepin' story out here on the prairie.