Tuesday, a feeling of loss lingered around every nook and cranny. Probably from watching one of the kittens. Little Edee isn't well and I have been getting all kinds of probiotics in her as well as meds for parasites. It would be more effective if I could get it in her on a one to one basis but until she lets that happen...I have to trust she is getting what she needs in probiotic in the dishes she shares with all the other cats. She is still an aggressive eater and will push the others aside to get to the food. This morning I was hoping for some results toward a positive outcome but I've kept an eye on her and her siblings for a hint of positive. The all too familiar sitting near or close by has been going on this morning. She has always favored Mr McBeavy in her looks, especially her face but this morning in profile, she really looks like him. Of all the kittens, she has missed him the most. She spent lots of time in his presence. The adult cats have relinquished control of the back to the kittens. Punky is around once or twice and Strawyer is around a little less. I saw him the other day nearly all the way to the French Broad Community Store that now has another name. Anyway, he was looking in my direction when I passed him. He must have recognized the mustang because he was there in a heartbeat, as soon as I had parked.
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Now it is the first day of February. The past couple of years I have used January as a month to reflect, redirect, relax, and restore. It is a quiet month here especially with stores and such having winter hours. Instead of bucking that trend, I went with it. And it was a bit easier this year because of the whole tooth extraction, infection, implant thing beginning. The first few weeks I was a bit off kilter because of the strong antibiotics that had been prescribed. Since 2001 when I had a MRSA infection and it being at the beginning of those infections gaining nationwide attention, the last four months of that year were spent taking some of the strongest antibiotics prescribed and believe me, they did a number on me while healing things up. Since then on the few occasions of antibiotic treatment, it is a whirl of an emotional ride, being a little off balance and a general feeling of malaise. It is as if the thoughts are wearing me away to give into depression and depressing thoughts. So, as much as I could influence my thoughts and thinking, to take the old Bible phrase, I took those thoughts captive to Christ. Now, some days it was easier than others and some days it was downright hard and wearisome. The past Januarys was a sorting through and trying to figure out early life with a father who started hating me at the age of 5, just because I liked school and was making friends. The normal thing that parents want, but from that time onward, even into adulthood, life was a battle and so hard because with him it was all a battle and dominance. I now know the things that trigger my responses to arbitrary decisions being made for or concerning me without input as well as anyone speaking for me on my behalf without permission. I'm following the prescription, you have to starve a narcissist. Thankfully, in January of 2018 I got a hold of information that quickened the process because I found out what harm and strategies a narcissist will go to. Thankfully, I also came across information that helped so much in extracting yourself from a narcissist, and even though he was dead, it helped free my mind as well as take precautions with others who have a narcissistic bent. In January of 2019, I did more of a spiritual assessment and right the ship so to speak because I want to finish out strong.
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The fingers were willing but the will gave a mighty good fight. I've wanted to get back to this post and finish it up but distractions and some deadlines caused a lack of any time to sit down and blog. Today, with the rain falling and the errands ran, I'm ensconced till Friday morning. We are supposed to get a whole lot of rain with warnings and watches for homes in coves and built on the side of a hill or mountain. I've worked on the lesson for Sunday. We are in one of my favorite books of the Bible Nehemiah. We get to spend two Sundays in the book.
Yesterday, was the follow up appointment for tooth extraction and implant rod placement. The next few months are critical for the post to attach and fix itself in the bone graft. The mesh that he put in fell out over the last weekend and entangled itself in the remaining threads of stitches. So now we wait until May to see what's happening with it all. To celebrate a pretty good report I decided to have a late lunch early supper at The Biltmore Estate. When I was able to get a really close parking spot close to the winery, the Bistro became the choice. The Bistro is probably my least favorite restaurant on the Biltmore Estate but they serve a pretty good steak and fries. I also had a bowl of butternut squash soup...which was absolutely delicious. Then I made my way over to the winery and found infused oil oils for our Taste and See Bible study that begins in March. It was getting into the late afternoon so I decided going to Antler Hill Village will have to wait for another trip.
Little Edee is making great strides into health. She was puny and nearing the next stage of a slow process of death. The parasites got a hold of her, but with worming meds, probiotics and canned pumpkin, she is returning to the land of the living. She has been playing and much more active. When her siblings were doing the death watch thing...I thought she was a goner, but she has never lost her appetite, so that is huge. They are all benefiting from the probiotics and pumpkin. Our neighbor Nancy brought down a bed for the cats this week. Her cats would rather sleep on the couch. I put it in between the two houses and it stays relatively dry. The four kittens have taken up residence in the houses, but not so much at night.
There are things to do and books to read, so for now...until the next post, ta ta.
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