I haven't had an I'm a student at Baylor dream in a long time but that changed a couple of nights ago. The dreams are either I am back in my teens again going to Baylor or I am married but Roy wants me to go back and get a degree from Baylor. The other night, once again, married and my crazy friend Debbie and I are roommates, in Collins, freshman dorm. Nothing too weird about that at all and she has taken over our dorm room and left me very little space for me or my stuff. I woke up before anything was resolved but there were a lot of laughs in that dream. The month or so before moving here the Baylor thing came full circle for me with the Alumni By Choice certificate. Funny, for so long I held onto the thought that if I had been able to attend Baylor my life would have been better, great in fact but with that now feeling full circle, I began to realize that it would not have been the best thing for me to be there. It would have been a miserable existence that is for sure. Coming to NC a month or so after that ceremony, my addled brain, abused emotions, and all those hurts began to settle down, but now in the far recesses of my mind. This adventure that began in 2014 has been wild but in the midst of it all, I think I am who I would have been without all the abuse and sheer horror that could be childhood at times. Two times within the last month two topics on the I Grew Up in Southwest Houston Facebook group, have caused a little trigger in me. Someone posted the pic of the Six Flags of Texas Clock in the center of Sharpstown Mall, from back in the day, and it surprised me, the physical reaction I had to seeing it. That is where my father would bring me and tell me that our family didn't want me anymore and maybe if I was lucky, a new family would see me and want me to be in theirs. Of course the instructions contained the advice, it would be best not to cry. No one would want me. So seven or eight year old me standing by the clock, trying to smile and hope someone would like me enough to go to their family. Never, ever did anyone ask anything about me or talk to me like, are you lost little girl? With that evil grin we saw way too many times, my father would return for me and once again enforce the fact no one liked me, I would never fit in and I was doomed. The other memory was of Burnett Bayland Home. BBH was an orphanage back in the day and my brother and I were threatened constantly he was taking us there. Made the fake phone call to get us all worked up. Sometimes he acted like he was looking for a suitcase for us to pack a few things. I caught on quickly he wasn't going to do it cause there is no way he was going to let us pack our things in the good suitcases. With all this the truth remains, God was with me every step of the way, even when I didn't know His presence. I also know that meeting Roy, falling in love with him and getting married was the far better plan and boy howdy, do I know it.
I think we bought our last bucket of strawberries yesterday for the season. As mentioned before this has been a particularly good season but free stone peaches being up next in the produce stand season makes the strawberry loss a little easier.
This week's lesson is a struggle and it has been all week. Just reading over and over the travails of Jeremiah. No support cause everyone hated him from the Kings to prophets, priests, friends, family and his close friends. Yet he never wavered in his trust of the Lord. Wow! This morning I was feeling kind of down over the reading of all that goes on, but in the midst of it all, an encouraging praise would come forth from his heart, then some whining and then back on point and message. Not that I can identify with that.
We are fighting the battle of the bugs, Japanese beetle and bag worms. Two traps for the beetles and the one by the blackberries is doing the job. I moved the other trap closer to the roses along the fence. When I can find more traps I'll be getting more out as well. Need to put one out front as well as another one for the back fence roses. Last year they weren't as bad but this year, they have returned and this time with a vengeance. This is also fruit fly season and those little buggers drive us all up the wall, especially The Boys who chase them down but have no clue if the fly survives cause they are so tiny.
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Church was special in spite of the lesson in Jeremiah. The young man our class loves, preached in church. He is good. One more semester at Fruitland and then he is off to finish at Wake Forest, I think. The I think part of about Wake, not finishing. Our friend, K, joined our church this morning and great rejoicing was had all around. These things fill us with joy! Our pastor and family back from vacation. VBS starts in another week.
There is a big bear in the area, over six feet tall and although we've never seen one close to the house, those blackberries outside, might be a draw. While Roy was working in that area picking and finishing up with some of the sunflowers we needed to clear, I kept a watchful eye. Several of the huge sunflowers toppled over and pulled themselves out of the dirt. Kind of helpful cause where they were, cleared a path for us to get closer to the blackberries.
It was one of those nights where I awoke in the middle of the night, couldn't go back to sleep, so I got up for a bit. Replied to a message a friend sent, reviewed the lesson one more time and did some reading. I should have mopped the kitchen floor while The Boys were in the bonus room for the night and Roy sound asleep. Made my nap this afternoon even sweeter.
Reinforcements just arrived from Amazon to battle those pesky beetles. Means I have a battle plan to put into place.
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