A True, Non Embellished Story, Only Names and Facts Changed

The blog post you are about to read is true.  Only the names and specific details have been changed or left out to protect the innocent. 

We love living out here in the burbs for many reasons but one of my all time favorite reasons is the spontaneity fun factor that occurs out here much more often than when we lived near the loop.  There are meals to be grabbed with friends at the last minute, fun people popping in and day time schedules that can be adjusted at the drop of a hat.  Now I'm not saying that those things didn't happen when we lived closer in, but the frequency of those things happening here are more likely.

Like this morning, Peggy texted and called to let me know her housekeeper had an opening in the morning and did I want it.  Why yes, I responded, that would be ever so lovely.  Nah, my reply was not that dignified.  Just think, this afternoon I faced household chores and now with the maid coming in the morning, I'm still faced with household chores.  I believe in predustination, which is cleaning before the maid comes.  So, I have picked up things.  A little later Peggy called to see if I had the correct supplies for cleaning.  You know these aren't ever conversations that Peggy and I have ever even dreamed of having.  Just to make sure I had the correct cleaning supplies, we met up at the local HEB, NOT the one on Fry which I really dislike. 

So we both arrived and got a cart. We are both dressed in our finest to shop, me in camo capris and she with freshly cut hair and a Baylor Championship T shirt.  She had other groceries she needed to get and I just needed to pick up the aforementioned cleaning products.  I did need quite a few.  What fun, two ADD addled brains pushing a cart around a store neither one of us are too familiar with, the store not the cart.  Although I don't believe either one of us had ever met that particular cart before.   So nothing was purchased in an efficient and timely manner.  We were haphazard all over the place laughing ourselves silly looking for cereal, fruit and milk.  And that's when we came across two other shoppers, that seemed a lot like us.  Let's just call them Mildred and Gertrude.  And let's just say that these two, began having a conversation about...uh...things...stuff while looking at things and stuff.  It is too embarrassing to even mention in a blog post what these two were even discussing but maybe it could be told to just a few, very few good friends, girlfriends known in real life.   It dawned on Mildred and Gertrude that if store security were watching us, I mean them through secret store cameras, you know up in the ceiling to help eliminate shoplifting, that they just might wonder what was going on.  The myriad trips up and down aisles and now this, two women bent over double laughing themselves into a fit or maybe even a puddle if we, they, weren't careful.  Two women dressed to the nines in camo and a championship t shirt reading instructions on things and stuff. Then putting things and stuff back on the shelf and then picking up another brand of thing and stuff.   It was suggested that if a purchase was to be made, that it might be best to put "it" in the middle of all the other groceries.  That way one can be preoccupied about unloading the cart and not looking into the face of the checker and sacker when thing and stuff pass by.  As Mildred stood there waiting for Gertrude, the thought entered her mind, that got Millie laughing out loud.  What could have made this even worse or a better story depending on how you look at it, at least the checker and sacker weren't former students and a call out for a price check wasn't needed.