A Smattering of Mattering

 The fog is slowly fading because the sun is beginning to break through and win the battle. I don't believe we will have blue Carolina skies today with a forecast of some rain and overcast conditions. If the rain moves out this morning, I can finish dead heading roses. 

I look forward to Tuesdays on Facebook because favorite Appalachian writer Shayrn McCrumb is writing a series of "conversations" and stories told to her by the raccoons she feeds. She gives backstories and adds dimensions as she tells the stories of those who come to her porch to eat and that includes possums and a bear. This last Tuesday she told a tale that brought tears. Basically as the story is wrapping up and the scary experience has dissipated, she writes;

"We were not stupid creatures to be slaughtered for food and pelts--someone knew us as individuals. A human loved us. We mattered."

My thoughts went to The Feral Fam and how they have entertained, taught and evoked some tears these past few years. We've gone from an insulated tent to a warm corner in the garage complete with meals and snacks, also served in the garage. Not too long ago when they had to spend their nights out in the "wild" life could be rather short for them. Now, the smart ones who sleep inside have a bit more safety. Oh some of these kiddos would tell you they go hungry, but I am here to tell you, Buddy did her job for them. Buddy could work you for a treat like no other cat and these kiddos can work me for treats and more food when I am outside. The crowd around my feet when food is being prepared is growing larger with the addition of Tupac and Blazey. The remainder sit and meow at a distance. Toupee wants her head rubbed and Biggio, well when he is around there is a lot of joy when he runs to meet me at the backdoor. From the friendliest to the crankiest, these kitties matter. A human loves them. This human in particular loves them. They play hard, nap hard and eat a hardy hearty meal or two. Junior was late for breakfast but he made it, as well as Baby. Biggio, well after several days of resting around here he must be back on the hunt so to speak. Or maybe he was just later for breakfast. I'll know in a little bit. 

It is also a good feeling to know we matter and are loved by others, humans. I confess in life I have been remiss in letting others know they matter and I know that I have caused some non-mattering to happen when I get miffed or bothered. Sometimes it is good to sit down and remember all those whether for short or extended times, made me feel like we mattered. That there was worth and mirth and of course some dearth. Giving hope where there had been none. For these people and times, I am so thankful. 

While I am following the Astros in post season and now in the World Series, I'm having a difficult time staying up for the night games. I think if I was in Houston, central time zone, I would be a bit more involved with everything. I want them to win. Living in the heart of Atlanta Braves country is interesting and we've had some good natured bantering. As an Astros fan and thinking back to the days of when they were in the National League, with the Killer B's, Bagwell, Biggio and Berkman...I find it ironic that Bags and Biggio, who took the game seriously and then clamped down even more in the 2005 World Series with seriousness, their approach to the game and clubhouse are so different than these Astros of late, who while serious have fun in it all. Being more of a person who leans to the fun side, we are approached so many times to settle down, get serious...behave. I think most fun people who kind of reside in the middle of serious and fun, know how to approach things seriously but it is harder to get those who lean heavily to the serious side to lighten up, fun up and take little fun breaks to make them more productive or whatever they want...productive, goal oriented...that kind of thing. It takes the serious much longer to have fun without feeling guilty. If they would lean toward that, all those serious goals probably would happen much faster. Back when Roy spoke a few times at conferences, I would tell him to start out with something humorous, but he told me that everyone was there to learn something, not to have fun. Okay, well maybe 1% would claim that but the rest...you're at a conference in a fun city...like Chicago that should tell you something. If everyone is serious about learning, you'd go to a non fun city to keep everyone focused. I could name what I consider to be non fun cities but have friends living in the two main cities I am thinking about.  

This is the second day in a row of drinking hot tea. Not something I always do but enjoy it on those coolish type days. My goal is not to turn on the big heater until November. Have some little heaters running in rooms being occupied but that's it so far. Flannel, boots and jeans do nicely. 

Just a random thought. What will people do when white chipy furniture goes out of style? Guess what everyone does either keep it or stain it or get rid of it. I like the look but don't want everything to have the look. 

Just went out and checked on the kiddos. All is well and now even better with a little more food. I also went to the box and picked up a package. 

It is looking better for clearing and maybe the gentle rain is over for now. 

Frost, Fresh Market and Ferals

 Frost once again on the cars and you might ask, Nancy, you are not much of a morning person why would you know if there is frost on the cars? I am glad you asked because my neighbor called me yesterday morning to let me know that the Mustang's lights were flashing and she wanted to make sure all was well. I tried turning the lights off from inside the house but no go. Out into 37 degrees to check it out. The hazard light switch inside the car was up just a tad, not all the way. Turned it off. Started the car to check the battery. Looked around inside the car, nothing missing. It was a strange beginning to an ordinary day.

This morning, the day began like most and I was so grateful for the ordinary. To be a little bit cautious I moved the car and truck closer to the garage. Then in the middle of the night I remembered I hadn't changed account information on a bill. So up at 2:30 am to take care of that while I remembered. Being wide awake then, I watched a bit of TV and then went back to bed. I had some afib last night that didn't stay for the whole evening, but stayed long enough to wear out a welcome, not that I welcome afib at anytime. With all that activity and an Astros victory, sleeping soundly was difficult but that really good sleep from about 5:30-7:45 am was very welcomed. 

I really wanted to get out and about yesterday to do some leaf looking but those plans changed. I figured it would be safe enough, in a car, by myself and not actively engaging with folks. Instead, I shopped Ingles and then had to make a return trip to Publix because Ingles didn't have any frozen sliced carrots. Picked up a few things from the weekly ad, got that 5% discount and headed home. Also, the happy report of fixing my hair to go out and about can be made. Not that it was that much different, just better organized and in somewhat of a semblance of making the effort.  

With rain expected this afternoon, the opportunity to run over to The Fresh Market presented itself because it is $5.00 pizza day. I like their greek or veggie pizzas. I add more onions and sliced olives stuff with jalapenos. So very good. Picked up some tuna salad and heath bar cookies. You have to have a little something sweet around the house. Since arriving home the wind has picked up significantly, with some really wild gusts. The wind is blowing south to north so our neighbors huge trees are sending their leaves into their pasture. I don't mind the leaves at all. I use them in the side flowerbed. 

I am reminded of a trip back in 2014. We had closed on our home here and while Kate was still in the house until after her daughter's wedding, I was able to turn an errand of picking up keys for our Thanksgiving trip here into a late trip with Dena to the mountains and Biltmore. We were in Chattanooga and wanted to take the backway here but the snow and ice made our trip detour to the normal interstate route. One of the most gorgeous rides ever. There was still enough fall colors to contrast with the snow that had fallen. I remember taking it all in and crying just a few tears of joy knowing that I would be living here in just a few months. No chance of snow today just rain. While driving home from The Fresh Market, with the wind beginning to pick up, the leaves were falling over and onto the road like a flower girl tosses rose petals before a bride. The yellow and red swirls of leaves doing their last dance before hitting damp ground was a wonderous sight to behold. The scene of leaves and the memory of fall colors and snow, were some good thoughts to take hold of.  

On the way to The Fresh Market, along the left side of the road, just a little ways down, a crumpled black and white body laid near the edge of the road. With a quick glance, the markings where not like any of the Feral Fam. On the way home I slowed down to take a better look and it looked like a skunk to me. A little later Nancy the Neighbor called telling me about the black and white along the side of the road. I told her I thought it was a skunk, she disagreed. Once again I drove down to the spot. It looked like a skunk and I wasn't going to get any closer to it for further inspection. Later that afternoon the two fluffies of our group were in the garage eating. Everyone else accounted for. 

Tuesday Stuff

 Before the sun went down the fog began to take over our valley. The roll in of the fog was incremental and not how it can just hit in one fell swoop. By the time the sun had set we were encased in the fog. Guess it was due to the gentle short rain showers of the late afternoon and as the rainbow pictures were posted on FB, I went outside to see if I could catch a view. Either we didn't have a rainbow or I missed the timing of it. This morning it is more low level clouds than fog but either way, the beauty of the sky is outstanding. 

Going out in the morning to feed the Feral Fam is a little more fun these days with Biggio back in town. Whatever he has been doing and wherever he has been, the boy is tired. He fell asleep yesterday afternoon eating a little snack. As soon as the backdoor opens, he comes running. If Toupee is around, she comes up as well or makes a beeline to her perch and waits. She lets me know when she wants to be petted by putting her head downward, you know to receive the little pats on the head. Tupac is getting friendlier and this morning, Blazey let me pet him. Of course he was eating so his attention diverted. It was a well behaved group this morning mainly due to Mama Cat being a no show. Breakfast came a little earlier than I've been getting it out there so maybe, she was sleeping in. 

Blanket wise, we are set for the winter. Roy likes electric blankets and the one we bought last year, while doing a good job, was really too little for a king sized bed. We made the decision to purchase another one and I began to research options. I found one and I also ordered a regular type blanket. While both blankets are on the bed, I decided to get the electric one hooked up and hadn't felt well enough the past few weeks to crawl around on the floor and under the bed. Felt like it could be a go yesterday afternoon and it was a successful endeavor and job done. Also got the flannel sheets on the bed so now I can be a flannel board when I wear flannel jammies. Got out the down comforter too but we don't need it yet. So it stays folded back until it is cold enough to warrant usage. 

October must be afib awareness or experience month. A friend from Houston wrote of his afib adventures this month but it is the background of getting to this place that was interesting. He and I had talked many times in choir about our heart health and what we have found to be helpful. 

Dear Diary,

Today I did the ultimate old lady kind of thing, I went to the grocery store without brushing my hair. Yes, I have it cut so that it can look messy at anytime, but today I had bed head and a cowlick standing straight up on the back of my head. I had planned to wear a visor but with a couple of phone calls that distracted me, I forgot. So today, even though I wore nice boots and a matching outfit, my hair gave me away. This is the first time I can ever remember not even brushing my hair before leaving the house, beyond the yard. 

With a good price on zucchini and chicken broth it seemed like a good day to make another batch of tortilla soup. The last two batches have been especially flavorful. I only did tasting and put all of it in the freezer. Roy loves taco and tortilla soup. His servings are larger than mine so what I'd think would be enough for two people, will probably just feed him. Think I will make another batch over the weekend. Yes, soup is the theme of life right now. 

I finished The Boys. It was a good read but toward the end, I skimmed Clint's sections and loved Ron Howard's description of his first steps into directing. His parents are very interesting and the lessons imparted to their boys. It was a good read.  

When You Know Better Than To Do That

 The new morning ritual, well it is just an addition to the morning ritual, taking a blood pressure measurement. Good numbers and still, thank the Lord, out of afib. Being out for a bit in the convertible yesterday and with all that fresh air, sleep came easily and almost unheard of, I slept till 8:00 am this morning. The Feral Fam were a bit terse with one another at breakfast and it is probably due to the fact that breakfast came a little later today, but at least it was not brunch. 

Had a little football, baseball and The Andy Griffith Show as background noise last night while reading, The Boys, by Ron and Clint Howard. It is an interesting story of their parent's influence on them as they both became child actors. So far, that is where I am in the book. So, while The Andy Griffith Show is being discussed mostly by Ron Howard and some of the episodes that he remembers the most for various reasons, I happened to catch one he wrote about. This is a great book for those short times to read because you can put it down and not have to remember tons of facts once one resumes reading. 

This week there have been the moments of musical nostalgia. Friends attended the James Taylor concert in Houston last weekend and wow, the memories that James Taylor, Carole King, Carly Simon, and John Denver invoke just flooded over me. I also listened last Sunday morning to the music of KHCB Sunday morning music of hymns and psalms and spiritual songs, thank you Alexa.  Some of the songs played invoked those nostalgic thoughts of music from back in the day along with music of today. Taylor and King, their songs were the songs of my senior year of high school. Ralph Carmichael, writer of He's Everything to Me, passed away this week and the thoughts of church youth musicals...girls got to wear approved pants suits a first, those thoughts of his music and musicals, filled me with nostalgia. Do I want to ever relive those days, uh no. Maybe a hit and miss hour or so but to relive, no. It has been fun this week to remember the happenings that these songs evoke. Tapestry, I think, is my favorite album of all times. Not a bad song on it. Nostalgia can be a "present time" stealer though, if we let it. Journaling, by Adam Feldman devotes great words on the subject and when we spend too much time in the past, it robs us for the present and being forward looking to the future.

So I got out and about yesterday. The re-scheduled Madison Market was my first stop. I always enjoy that particular market. It is a good size, not overwhelming and some wonderful artists. There are a few I look for each time. I love the woodworker and his creations. He finds some beautiful pieces of wood from the surrounding area. Of course ya gots to love Nothing Bundt Cake, which is relatively new to the mountains. They have a shop in Asheville. I have given some of their mini Bundt cakes to friends and they are expecting pound cake. Nope, it is in the shape of a Bundt pan but it is a light, fluffy cake. Along with the favorites, I found a new artist that creates junk or vintage journals. They are quite beautiful and unique in their presentation. Of course, narrow lines are all I require. 

Took the scenic drive to The Fresh Market and got some prepared meals for the coming days. I bought some grapes Saturday and they have been the best grapes of the season. I might need to go back and get another bunch. Came home and put up groceries, then texted a friend. Had a little something for her that I had found several weeks ago and thought she might enjoy. We had a wonderful visit and things almost felt normal and not so protocol and virus related. 

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Last night as I took care of the last chores in the kitchen, I decided to go out in the garage and check on things. I am so glad I did, because I was greeted by Biggio. He has been gone for over a week and he normally does not stay out on a bender for that long. He ran to meet me, rubbing my legs and wanting some head rubbing. He had the loudest purr and slowly but carefully since he wasn't leaving my side, I walked toward the food and got that hungry boy fed. This morning he greeted me again and he probably spent most of the night in the garage. The Feral Fam that wasn't around last year are discovering the warm corner I have made for them. They will need it later this week as a couple of cool fronts come through the area. 

This morning I was telling Roy that yesterday became a productive day. Got a lot of little things taken care of and feel like it is the homestretch in getting seasonal clothes switched out. I also started the first part of washing the daybed covers on the corner unit. I wish the long pillows that serve as a back of sort had removeable covers. Of course the section I started with yesterday had a bit of gray fur attached because Buddy loved lying on pillows in that window. 

I am almost finished with the book, The Boys. I stopped last night right before Ron Howard is in American Graffiti. Interesting read. Not something that I would normally chose but watching Ron Howard as a child into teenager and soon adult and all the details that he took from those experiences and becoming a director is intriguing. 

My numbers continue to be good and I am so thankful for that. Friends who are praying about this situation, please continue to do so. There have been a few tweaks to the days. I realized I had fallen into some habits that were not good health-wise. Fall is my most difficult time of the year because of the whole apple cider donut thing...stopped the too many apple cider donuts and not drinking enough water are some of the changes made. Years ago, I vented my displeasure and anger more so than today but I internalize it, which while quieter isn't the way to go. I have written before that this summer just held so much loss in too many areas. Not just cats. I finally feel like the brain fog of the summer has lifted, well not as much as I would like but it is a beginning. I also know that through this season of loss I need to walk into some new and walk out on some old. When it comes to my spiritual life I have bravely done just those things and gained truth and experience and knowledge from those journeys. Now as I settle in on life, Jeremiah 17 and Psalm 92 speak deeply into my soul. I'm excited for the future with Roy here and we are both counting down the days, but really it is months but closer to happening than a few years ago. 

I made a delicious lunch and I might have to go back to the store to get a few more packages of ravioli, butternut squash in particular. Love autumnal foods. Found a creama tomato sauce that was just perfect. It reminded me of Colinas in Houston. Yum. So, I feel like I am knocking out more projects today but I had to take a little break because I lifted a couple of heavy items and I know better than to do that. 

More Rest, Less Stress

 A long time friend messaged me several days ago to ask how was I doing and if she could pray for anything in particular. It was the beginning of the afib episodes and while I was thinking surely my heart would settle down soon enough, I told her about the symptoms and the experience of the whole thing. A friend here checked in on me most mornings and while I had some good days, the bad experiences in the evenings were a bit concerning. Told her I was going to call the cardio office and she said, I will check in with you to make sure you did. Well, I called, left a message, ran errands, came home and decided the cardiologist office wasn't going to call me back. But they did, on the house phone. She asked if I could come in for an appointment the next day and I in total shock said, why yes, that would be fine. I truly believe the prayer of my long time friend got me in so soon, because God is in the details. While the appointment was being made, she told me, oh it's good you're getting in now because you'd officially go off our records on October 31st. It would be starting all over to see a specialist. Wow! I am so glad to have a friend here who threw down the ultimatum to call the doctor office. Wednesday night was a tough one, awake for most of the night, the lumbering thunder of afib keeping me awake and one can always imagine the worst. It is a constant battle to fight the fear. The ifs start popping into your thinking...then the when follows but thankfully I remembered in John 11 that Mary and Martha had some ifs and Jesus told them, if you believe in Me. Whose ifs are you going to believe, yours or Jesus'? That is how those if fears were conquered late Wednesday into Thursday morning. There is also that practical side of me and I thought maybe I should prepare in case they transfer me to the hospital. Even on that first encounter with this stuff in September 2008, 10% of my heart working, they sent me home with meds. So, in case of a hospital visit, I brought a book and some paper with me. Two things I would need. My Bible was in the car, so I'd just grab it as well. Long ago first thing would have been a makeup bag, not so much anymore. Then in the spirit of, well I better clean up the house a bit, just in case, you know, the hospital thing, got that done as well. Well, as well as I am going to do. 

The time came to leave for the appointment. Always have to leave extra time to give treats to any of the Feral Fam hanging about as well as making sure the gate closes correctly. This week that has been a hit and miss exchange. I also left a little time for some fun. Several weeks ago when I was at a checkup at the dentist office, the dental hygienist told me that a group of them in the office sat outside under the trees at lunch time. Most of the trees are on islands in the parking lot and she told stories of people who park right next to them or sit in their car with the motor running in the space next to their chairs. So, I thought, I'll go see if I can find them and park next to their chairs. Found them, parked next to them and wow, I got some dirty looks. Cindy was getting out of her chair to come talk with me and I opened the window and said, surprise! Can I park here? That's when three of them recognized me and started laughing.  I had told one of the ladies that works at the front desk I was going to do this one day. We all had a good laugh and it was just the thing I needed to send me into the cardiology building with a smile. 

Got into the Dr office and surprisingly, everything was running on time. I like the new Dr that took Dr Smelly's position. Listens and has a good bedside or chairside manner. Answered my questions and even told me a couple of times, those are some good well thought out questions. EKG confirmed afib and he sat with me to tell me my options after getting some tests run. I do not like any of the options, truthfully. Some involve hospital stays and I doubt you get any good drugs that knock you out while there. I told him my situation and that the hospital option would be one for further down the road if that is possible. They scheduled me for a stress test and an echocardiogram. 

On the way home, exhausted, I felt different The afib had stopped. I came in and grabbed the little blood pressure cuff/machine that also will indicate afib on the screen. Numbers were almost back to normal. Earlier, before the appointment, I pulled out the machine. I didn't remember quite how to use it and when the first reading was 293/185, I thought oh my goodness, I am dying. But then I had the cuff backwards which once corrected gave me better numbers. 

This morning I am not experiencing that lumbering thunder inside my chest that sometimes comes with afib. So welcomed. Still good numbers this afternoon as well. 

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A happy Saturday morning, well maybe except for Boston. I tried to stay up and watch the whole game but the eastern time zone thing is hard at times. When I went to bed it was 2-0 and it felt like the Astros would win even with leaving men on base. I woke up around 3:00 am to find out the final score 5-0 sends the Astros to the World Series. 

I am grateful for those who have been praying for me. The afib came out of the blue but I have to think it is a result of letting so many things from the summer build up inside. 

Just took my blood pressure reading and it really is a happy Saturday morning. So, let's see what can I do today that is restful and not stressful? I'm sure I will get that figured out. 

Getting Back Into The Swing of Things

 35 degrees and feeling fine. It is a little cooler than forecasted but this must mean boots, jeans and flannel days are here. I've snuck in a few flannel days and boots have been year round muck boots, but it is time to get fall and winter boots out of the storage containers. I am easily amused and entertained and this is very entertaining, the thoughts of the fall combo. 

The Feral Fam were mostly in the garage when breakfast time arrived. First morning of putting out full cans with dry food mixed in to help them keep warm. Toupee, she greeted me and was ready for some head rubbing and petting. Junior didn't hiss at me this morning. I think it was just too cold for him to expend the energy. It's like he has to do that and then is a bit sheepish looking while I gather all the things to get food to them. He tries to do that slow eye close thing, but he isn't very good at it. It is more of a mean look squinty face. Baby was here this morning and Junior defers to Baby. So, it has become the norm when Baby is around, to put two dishes out for them. Junior fights everyone else away from his special place and dish. No Biggio this morning, so I don't know what to think. Well, mainly I am thinking King Herod. He has been on the margins of late and making everyone uneasy. I am thankful he is not around here all day. I do not like him, at all and believe he is at the core of every missing or hurt member of the Feral Fam. At least for another week, in the mornings when first going out to the garage, I will look for this lanky short haired black and white cat, filled with energy and always ready for a snack or a meal and like with the others, that anticipation will fade and their presence is only in beloved memories of a short time here. 

What a delight to see Dena teaching in Dayspring yesterday. I am thankful for Zoom. They are in Explore the Bible just like our class here. Colossians 1 and her approach to Christ is All over All, holding everything together and in this, while such a great expanse, there is the simplicity of God's Word that pulls and attracts us to Him. She mentioned the water colored Bible pictures that my brother sent me along with pictures and some of the grandfather's things. If you grew up in a Baptist Sunday School or most likely any denomination in the 1950s and 1960s, you remember these type of pictures of well known and loved stories from the Bible. I remember the pictures that Doug sent were in a hall linen closet, guess from when my mom either taught Sunday School or Training Union. From time to time over the years I would check Etsy or Amazon to see if I could find anything like them. A couple of months ago I found an old children's Bible stories book, that had those types of pictures in them. Then the beloved pics from childhood showed up on one of the saddest days of the year for me.   

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Tuesday morning held a bit of a surprise or maybe more of a lack of remembering. When it came time to leave for my haircut appointment, the windshield needed scraping due to the frozen participation and dew on the windshield and back window. First early morning out and about of the coolish to cold fall season. Also, road work on 26 so I detoured downtown. I haven't driven through downtown Asheville in quite sometime. Enjoyable views cause there wasn't too much traffic to contend with. 9:00 am is an early salon appointment, so very few people. Then onto Target which wasn't too crowded either. I have gotten to where I order and have shipped any shopping from Target but there are a few things I needed to pick up and made the quick trip. Also, a quick trip to Ingles and I was home. I had planned to get out again but there is something about getting my haircut that makes me so dang sleepy. I took a nap. 

The last couple of days I have read some funny takes on Scam Likely calls and supply chain issues. With the supply chain issues, people are bringing it to another level. In reality, it is interesting for each grocery store run or even at Target yesterday, was is in low or no supply. Once again, paper good aisles are looking a bit picked over. And Gatorade and Power Ade, not much in the grocery store. Not on my list but certainly noticeable when going down the soup aisle. I don't need soup, I cornered that market last year but I needed some chicken broth cause I believe I will make tortilla soup this week.

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I will finish this up and yes, I made tortilla soup and it was delicious. Froze most of it but have another bowl to enjoy today or tomorrow.  

I will have to stop calling Asheville Cardiology, stupid Asheville Cardiology. I called yesterday to make an appointment and I actually have an appointment this afternoon. Now that friends is a miracle. Had a bad night of afib or flutter just as I went to bed. So, I was up most of the night. This just came out of the blue, this bout of fib and flutter. This morning in FB memories, it is dawning on me that October has been an active heart issue month in the past. So, who know. Since 2018 no problems...

Ate a protein packed breakfast and hopefully that will sustain me for the morning and early afternoon. I like spring and summer doctor appointments. Clothes weigh a lot less then. So do shoes.  

Arrival, Afib and Rest

 This day is to hold rain early and then clearing with cool temps accompanying the sun that is to break through. The next few days weather wise are to be glorious and what a time to live in the mountains. 

October 14th got away from being remembered but that is the day in 2014 when we closed on our home here. Someone said this week you bought at the right time before the cost of buying went up and the property values increased. So has the traffic. When we first moved up here I could not help but notice the old cars on the road. Not like vintage vehicles but just old, hanging together with a hope and a prayer kind. These days I see more Mercedes and Lexus on the road. 

Made a Goodwill run on Wednesday to get clothes and books out of the house. You might come over and say, you didn't take any books to Goodwill, but oh contrare pierre, I did, some of them kind of sentimental but it is time for someone else to hopefully enjoy the stories. 

Sometimes you just miss things and I certainly missed a message a long time friend sent in July 2020. I had just been thinking about her while going through things. We played softball together and worked in the treasury department at Pennzoil. Over the years life went different directions and we lost touch. I took a chance to respond to her and she answered later that night. Such fun in those short few paragraphs we exchanged. 

Another bright spot to the week was running into trouble at The Fresh Market. Inez and Velda were in the baked goods dept. I had just got my tuna salad and was heading that way when I spotted them. We had a fun few minutes catching up with one another. 

I'm still experiencing afib but it has settled down somewhat during the day. I am trying different things to see if food or something like that is helping to contribute. So much of it I think is stress even though I try to remain calm and put it with the Lord, I think there are some involuntary mechanisms that I cannot control and they take over. Right now I feel great! Around 2:30 am, it was not the feeling and sometimes you let your mind wander into what ifs or if you're really feeling brave and stupid, you Google it up. Thankfully, Dr Google didn't send me into another spin. 

The wind is picking up just a bit and the leaves are falling off the trees. I stood outside and watched for a few minutes before returning to the house to complete chores. Now I am taking another break cause I am sitting here blogging. 

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It is a wonderful morning after a blessed night of heart in rhythm...🎜all night long𝆕 or if I would really think about it, I would use 🎜all through the night🎝to use church music. It has been about four nights of bad rhythm and sleep. So welcomed and so hoping that this trend continues. I am thanking God for answered prayer. It's strange in the night what one thinks about while your heart is thumping out a rhythm. You're tired, no exhausted from it all. One night I just got up and started working around the house. Another night I prayed and read my Bible. A couple of nights I did the combo with some late night TV for background. I journaled too. But last night, oh sleep and rest...I was glad when my heart beat out to me, let us go back into rhythm. 

During the afternoon as the temps fell, the wind blew and leaves scattered, I felt up to going out in the side flowerbed and clean out more flowers from the summer and cut down the remaining sunflowers. I heard a noise behind me and looking back there was Toupee. Toupee was playing in the yard waste I was throwing down to the driveway. Then she moved closer and sat while I trimmed and pulled plants. What a gift, because that is what HP did to keep me company. Toupee brought along Tippy but Tippy was there to play and to look for anything that might need chasing. Thankfully, leaves is what they chased yesterday. Toupee is also letting me rub her head and pet her. This morning when I stopped, she pawed at me and put her head down again. HP still has a legacy going. She modeled that behavior for Biggio and Biggio got Toupee involved. Speaking of Biggio, he hasn't been around for about five days. Not surprising but three days is his usual practice. Tupac is getting friendlier too. 

Football games were fun yesterday. LSU beat Florida and Baylor beat BYU. 

Afib, Boodos and Memories

 The last couple of days I have felt just a little off. I shrugged it off as lack of sleep and a little bit of stress. Yesterday, I noticed that the offness felt worse when I sat down to rest in between tasks and chores. So yesterday was a motivated day to keep moving as transitioning from summer to storage and fall/winter clothes aired out either for hanging up or going to Goodwill. Last night as I pondered and prayed the thought came to me that just maybe what I had been experiencing was afib. It hadn't dawned on me that this is what it could be due to the fact it felt different and it wasn't the normal way I experience it. I truly believe that the thought of afib came from the Lord in my prayer time. I went downstairs and took a half of pill like prescribed and brought the other half back upstairs with me. An hour had gone by and while there was some relief, I felt like I should take the remaining half. Did so and it was just a minute or so that the old irregular beat went into normal rhythm. A wave of exhaustion followed and I went to bed. This morning I am still in rhythm but feel like I have an afib hangover. The heart works so hard in afib, like running marathon after marathon. This bout was opposite of everything I have experience in this heart journey, felt better moving, worse sitting when in the past felt better resting than working. I texted Roy about all this and he said, it was God not the pill. Yes, that's true and it was God prompting me to get the afib pill because like I said, I never thought it was afib. 

 Yesterday was an early for me morning because of wanting to get to the tag office early. There can be long lines at time. Didn't have a long wait and the ladies that work there are friendly and chatty. Got the sticker and came back home. Didn't see the state trooper either, so that is a bonus. It is odd but getting the tag sticker is one of those things that are just everyday kinds of things, but I dread the whole process. It's kind of like how I feel with getting the garbage bins down to the road. 

This morning I believe I face a task that I have to do. Boodos has been missing for three days which is not unusual for male cats, except Boodos. He used to be a wild and crazy cat when it came to doing all the cat things, but King Herod has stalked, attacked and has made life miserable for him.  Like I said, he has done this before but it has been a while. KH has been lurking and why he is so intent on Boodos, I don't know. Yesterday afternoon, I went out back to move some things in case Mike weed eats in the back. There I found Boodos to the side and over by the grill. He is panting and is obviously in pain. I went to him, he has really never let me be close to him unless food is involved. Many of the Feral Fam were sitting at a distance in that mournful position. With Strawyer, his back legs had given out and I could pick him up. Boodos also had saliva dripping out of his mouth. Mind went right to the rabid dog scene in To Kill a Mockingbird. Even with heavy gloves, the unknown of his reaction scared me so  I made some calls but could not get ahold of anyone. He moved about a little and sat up. Then laid down. I went inside to get him some water from a low lipped bowl and when I went back out, he was not there. He has probably gone under the house, but I sure am hoping that is not the case. This morning, I haven't looked under the porch but I have a feeling he may have crossed the rainbow bridge. For a brief moment I thought I saw him but when I saw Tupac staring toward the porch, I have a feeling he is there. I just came in from inspecting what I can see under the porch, which isn't much, but hopefully, Boodos isn't under there. I think the anxiety of hiding from KH contributed to this problem and the way he maims his victims, this falls right into place. Yesterday, I cried, no sobbed. Because the thoughts of Buddy and then onto Hector Protector just overwhelmed me. HP and Boodos were too of the gentlest and kindest cats in all of The Feral Fam. Boodos was beloved and the youngers loved to hang around him. It's like all of the Fam knew he needed help. 

Anne Lamott Quotes

@AnneLamottQuote

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1h

"Stories hold us together. Stories teach us what is important about life, why we are here and how it is best to behave, and that inside us we have access to treasure, in memories and observations, in imagination." 

I saw this quote on Twitter this morning and being true to my grandfather, I cut and pasted it, although back in his day that would have meant a whole nother thing. These past few days have been just that especially when staying up half the night unable to sleep, thinking of stories and memories that bring joy in the night and of course joy comes in the morning too. I will probably also write the quote in a notebook. Of course so many thoughts have gone to those summers with Grandma B. I asked her how she and Grandpa met, well she said, he was dating my friend, she broke up with him, so we began dating. At the time I thought, how sad...she came in second. But you have to remember back then people or rather few people oozed out details like we do today. Grandma had a basement and it scared me. The damp, dank and dark gave me the heebie jeebies. My brother recently told me he loved going down to her basement. For a long time, that is where her washer was, but as she got older, her sons moved it up to the back porch, which really wasn't like a porch, just an enclosed addition. It was one of those contraptions that washed clothes in the tub and then we put the washed clothes through the ringer. I would help her hang up the wash on the clothesline in the back. One day, this brilliant idea came. Take her undies and bras and hang them in the tree in the front yard. Took my first stolen goods to the tree and I used clothes pins to stretch those undies as wide as they would go. I was coming back for another load. She was watching me from the kitchen window and as soon as the jumble of unmentionables had been gathered, I took off for the front yard. Just before reaching the tree, my grandma playfully yelled, Nancy Ann, you take those back to the clothesline where you found them. She says I nearly leapt two feet in the air and my steps were widened and enlarged, but not like prayer of Jaybez enlarged. She was laughing so hard, me too. I think we both might have wet our pants in laughter when the "Coffee Man" pulled into her driveway. He was a door to door salesman that sold a plethora of merchandise. She bought her coffee and ketchup from him, probably other things too but the coffee and ketchup made an impression. He arrives with her undies still in the tree as well as the ones in my arms. My grandmother, without missing a beat says, you caught us on laundry day. So much to hang out, we are using trees. Y'all, I never loved my grandmother more than at that moment. I had to return to the clothesline for the obvious reason but also, I was about to bust a gut laughing. After he left, she gave me a playful swat on the rear end and said, while smiling, I better not catch you doing this again. I think I might have jokingly said, next time, you won't catch me. We laughed over that funny for the longest time over the years. One last funny story. Living in the country her home was on a septic system. If she didn't drink the remainder of coffee she made, she poured it in the toilet, not down the sink. That first summer I stayed with her, I thought she was dying. I wrote my mother about the observations I had made concerning the dark urine that she had not flushed. What should I do? Would she talk to her about this? Imagine how embarrassed I was when Grandma, after being informed by my mother over these concerns I had, asked, you thought that coffee was coming straight out of me? Well, yep. Believe me before being enlightened I prayed for her every night that she would be well. 

Letters, Lessons and Legacy

 After a week of showers this coming week looks to be drier and a little warmer. Warmer than usual, but the hope of a cool front coming in on Sunday, looks for a return to fall. That would be so welcomed. 

Over the weekend I began to look through the box Doug sent to me. There are letters written by my grandmother, a few pics, my grandfather's notebook containing several Sunday School lessons written out, a few pages of quotes he liked, attendance for their church Sunday School and his earnings as a bricklayer. I have enjoyed reading through his lessons and I was overjoyed to see his use of stories in his lessons. When I spent summers with my Grandma, she would let me go through the drawers in the secretary desk. I would pull the wooden arms out for the lid of the desk to open. In the glass case attached to the top contained theology books, commentaries and the like that had belonged to Grandpa. I also would pour over those books and the feeling of being close to him was palatable. He kept composition books full of quotes either handwritten or cut out of magazines and newspapers. Along with his notebooks are the five year diaries he wrote in. I wasn't too much interested in the ones before I was born, but I would pour over those looking for any instance where he mentioned me. He mainly wrote about the weather, work and health, but mainly the weather. His heart really can be found in his quote notebooks and his lessons he prepared to teach. He passed away when I was two or three years old. I have a couple of pictures with him back then as we sat on the porch. Occasionally, I would venture out in the yard, under his careful watch to bring him pretty leaves from the side yard. That home where my mom grew up and where my grandmother lived has such wonderful memories. The house is long gone, her property sold to a church. The apple orchard is gone but the hedge that divided their land from the Blackburns is still there, well according to Google Earth. Those memories from long ago sustained me in some of the hardest days and felt like an oasis that was the chaotic world that existed in our Houston home. To take a thought from a hymn oh what a foretaste of glory divine is what I take now from those summers spent in Illinois because now the foretaste is the the prophetic of today living here in the mountains. Those simple pleasures from back then have translated well into today. My grandmother never learned to drive so we were dependent on several of her sons to take her to the grocery store. Usually, it was my Uncle Robert, my mom's twin brother. Grandma and I loved these thin breaded beef cutlets and would eat them almost every night with Cooks Ketchup smothering the meat. We'd also eat copious amounts of JELL-O covered in whipped cream. On our visits to the grocery store, grandma would let me pick out a coloring book to bring back. She lived on a fixed income and that was a treat for sure but at a cost greater than I could even understand back then. Almost every afternoon found me under one of her big trees, with a quilt spread out for reading, writing and coloring, oh along with a snack. 

My original thought of the above paragraph wasn't the bunny trail that we just took, it was this. I think so much of what I love today is in the DNA of my grandfather. Love a good quote and used to keep notebooks filled with them. Along the way of moving several times, I think those notebooks are long gone. I started handwriting Sunday School lessons to help me retain what I had studied. Of course, there were not computers back then and a typewriter would have been a luxury not afforded to a man making $16.47 a week as a bricklayer and raising a family. He inserted a lot of stories into his lessons and that trait has trickled down to his granddaughter. Listening to my grandmother tell his stories, he was a simple man that enjoyed simple things, like porch sitting. My grandfather died when he was 65. I have lived two years longer than he did, well at this point. He had a heart condition, not quite sure what it was, but maybe that trickled down to me as well. The propensity of a weaken heart, but with better recovery methods than back then.   

I am trying to go through clothes and as I do, I am preparing for cooler temps that will arrive eventually. I have a good sized stack of things to go to Goodwill. I also did pretty good going through books this morning. It really comes down to, will I ever really take the time to read or sometimes reread a book. Took a box out to the truck today. We also have several blankets to go to a local ministry here that helps homeless people or help people get back on track.

Felt a bit restless and experiencing fitful sleep, so I got up. Read a little in my Bible and now finishing up this blog post from this morning. I am so thankful for that box that Doug sent. I am seeing really how our family traits, that are good, can be from a long line of long ago loved ones. I have never felt closer to my grandfather than I have lately. 

Baseball, College Football and Chores

 Not the news one is looking for, hospitalizations are increasing in the over 65 population that received their shots over six months ago in our area. Dang! 

Got a very rare treat Thursday, although it is the post season, but the Astros game was televised. Fun watching it in between chores and other shows. Kind of fun cause the minor league affiliate in Asheville is part of the Astros farm system. Hopefully, we can go to the ballpark and see a game next season. 

Saturday morning tempted me and I left the friendly confines of home to venture out where I could social distance. I wanted to go to the Candy Corn Market in Haywood County but I decided not to even though I told myself to stay on the outside in the covered arena. I know me, I'd go in cause several of my favorites are usually inside the building. So, off to Burnsville for their farmers market and to make a quick walk through of Lamp Post Vintage Market. A rare event occurred. Nothing was purchased. The trip mainly was to get out of the house, check out the scene of fall foliage and then return home, maybe with a tomato or something. I did stop in Mars Hill and got some Diet Cokes that are on sale at Ingles. I did not take the usual route home after my driving while old thing happened two weeks ago, but opted for the freeway. Not as scenic but hey, you do what cha got to do. The rest of the afternoon and evening into night became a marathon of sorts, watching college football. What a day to watch multiple teams come from behind and win. Happy to see Baylor win, ut lose, Iowa coming back to win, the Ole Miss and Razorback game and then the featured attraction, Alabama-Texas A&M. I did flip over to the Seinfeld marathon cause several of my favorite episodes were featured and I did flip a couple of time to see LSU-Kentucky. Nothing to see here folks. Currently, I think the most relieved person over the big win at Kyle Field has to be Coach O. The news of Alabama losing and taking over the newsfeeds had to be manna from heaven in the distraction arena of football life. LSU fans, cue Janet Jackson's What Have You Done For Me Lately as they discuss the future of LSU football and Coach O. Most cite his dumping and divorcing his wife for a twenty something year old girlfriend. Maybe he and Urban can start a support group. It surely seems as if Coach is a bit distracted this year. 

Texas A&M deserves a new paragraph. What a game! What a win! I stayed up and watched the whole game. Rooting for A&M is not my usual thing but last night wrapped up in our maroon and white throw, colors only available in the oversized throw department, and felt somewhat Aggie-esk. This is not a habit I hope develops but it was a great game with the best outcome. I am thrilled for my Aggie friends! Dena and I texted a bit throughout the game and she is one happy Aggie. She also assured me that several new parking garages have opened on the campus. She took Roy and I on a car tour of A&M a long time ago and my only concern on the tour was the lack of parking. So this has become a running joke for us. 

It is kind of fun reading Twitter this morning when it comes to this game. The earliest tweets are about how the refs blew so many calls, really on both sides. A few Tide fans and this is so difficult to believe are calling for Saban to retire. What? Come on, this isn't like some Tiger situation...haha. Now, feelings have calmed and the Tide fans are rolling with, just another game, y'all enjoy, and when we win, we just win. It's kind of funny. These are the things we can say and in more than just football. Taking away meaning to anyone or an experience...

Since Roy became a Toastmaster, he is interested in all things story telling. Jonesborough TN has the International Story Telling Center. We have half-heartedly looked for it but I came across an article that gives details and other places to check out in the city. While I am thrilled to have found info for him, I also saw there is a Tex Mex restaurant there and it looks legit. No chili gravy as such, but the pictures do Tex Mex justice. Guess we will be going for the storytelling and staying for the enchiladas. An aside, loving Los Tios nachos, the pics look similar to that old favorite. 

This Sunday morning, I am staying in jammies a little longer than usual. Later night and with the Feral Fam taken care of, I am at leisure. Just heard my neighbors ATV which means they are making a trip to make more compost with horse...materials. They gave me a load of....compost in the spring and that is some primo compost. The other thing from the sound of the ATV, I know which member of the family is making the run. It was  quick time, so it must have been Steve. 

Outside chores are calling out but I'm letting that call go to voicemail. 

Tech, Ferals, Inspections and Groceries

 After laundering sheets yesterday the thought of, hurry, get these on before Buddy discovers bed making. Then I remembered, it didn't have to be the secret rush thing cause well...you know. That cat loved to hinder progress especially with a fitted sheet. The past couple of months though, she only participated once cause I think it was just too much for her arthritis. What a personality she had and what a reprieve these past years as she settled into being a kinder, not so angry cat. She had a temper early on. 

The Feral Fam have been quite entertaining this morning. In between rain showers, they have been playing underneath the back porch with a piece of mulch. Dean, a not often mentioned member of the Fam is coming into his own. Since his arrival in the backyard, he has been one scardy cat. He stays at a distance during meal and snack times. I show up and he hides. Since I had named his siblings Toupee and Tupac, I named he and his other sibling Jan, so Jan and Dean. Keeping with that somewhat musical reference. Biggio is back and Toupee let me rub her head again. Radley came around yesterday afternoon. I knew there was a cat who gets respect and fear nearby because of the actions of the Feral Fam. Happy to see Radley and give him a bowl of food. When he is around, KH is not around. KH has been mainly staying at a distance and for that I am thankful. 

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I am kind of feeling tech-ish this morning after solving an IT, well for me, problem last night, but that's enough for me. Not wanting to add that skill set. 

One of my favorite movies was on TCM last night, All About Eve. Bette Davis is Margo Channing. The dialogue is witty, acerbic, colorful and being made in the 1950s, full of innuendo. I have seen this movie so many times and I try to find something at each viewing that I haven't noticed before. Last night I concentrated on backgrounds and people in the backgrounds. 

It has been a month since Buddy crossed the rainbow bridge. A month ago today, a package arrived from my brother. In it a treasure trove of memories. I kind of looked through everything and placed everything on the dinning room table for later. Yesterday, I looked at the portraits from a photo studio located in the city where I was born. Even though my father was transferred to the Chicago area and even after we arrived in Houston, we'd have portraits done. I think my parents must have bought a package of photo sittings. Probably the last one in the series is my brother and me. I was probably in kindergarten or first grade and Doug is a toddler. The paper bag where the pictures we stored is a work of art. Don't see that kind of detail today. 

The window in our bonus room faces west and clearing skies is a welcomed sight. The rain is coming from the southwest so hopefully, we are just about done with this system. 

Funny, this morning after mentioning road trips yesterday, I am getting all kinds of advertising about, you guessed it road trips. Now, I am getting recommendations for road trip books. I love me a good road trip and have taken several over the years that are memorable with Roy and also with friends. But, right now, road trips aren't even too much of a thought because of the reasons expressed yesterday. I will clear up a statement that I made about I 10 in Louisiana. It is one of the most stressful drives ever. East, west traffic is full of 18 wheelers, people in a hurry, lots of traffic and the Atchafalaya Basin Bridge. Did I mention state troopers? 

Got the truck inspection done. Got out early to The Fresh Market for $5.00 pizza on Thursdays. Then the normal stuff, small container of tuna salad, one container of fresh orange slices along with other specials happening. Stopped at Ingles for a quick second, got home, put everything up and started a batch of soup in the crock pot. Ate lunch and then left for Jimmy's. Sequishshawn passed without needing anything extra to help him pass. TJ, the man who was so helpful when I fought a utility pole and the pole won, has become a friend to us. He shared he had been sick with Covid, hardest health fight even with a hospital stay. No vent, PTL! Had to make a quick stop at Publix on the way home and again it was quick. The store was crowded but I just needed Rotel Tomatoes, so checked out in the express lane but every other open lane was deep in those waiting to check out. Lots of Instacart shoppers, so they may still be at the store.  

National Kale Day and Egg Nog in October? I Think Not.

 Facebook went down yesterday and for once I didn't even notice. Not because I am opposed to social media or anything like that, because I'm not. The time that it was down was the time around here for taking care of a few projects and unexpectedly being able to run a few errands. The day did not hold a constant rain whether it be light or steady. Around 1:00pm the sun broke through. Great! Off to the grocery store to get several prepared meals and guess what, lots and lots of people had the same idea. Ingles wasn't as crowded but Publix had lots of customers. That trip had to be done rather quickly cause I had a few perishable items from Ingles in the trunk. Score, they had street taco kits. I love their chicken better than their beef, so happily I bought chicken street tacos and a few other things, then called it a day. Happy to retreat to the comforts of home. With the break in the weather, I pulled out a few played out flowering plants continuing the fall clean out of flowerbeds to prepare for spring. Our temps for the next week and a half with be a tad warmer than normal for this time of year, so pulling out plants will be an uphill job and it really will be cause the flowerbed is on an incline. 

One of the chores of choice these days is going through all our books, okay, mostly my books. On a good note some books that I thought would never leave our dwelling are on their way to new homes or to be used as recycling material. They are books of sentimental value and books that I most probably would never read. A little stack of books are by a bookcase and there is hope that the little stack will grow into a number to go into boxes. One book might be getting a reprieve, The Road Trip That Changed the World. Thumbing through it this morning and looking into the message of the book, I realize that I made a quick judgement of it the other day. Road trips might be on my mind because in a conversation the other day, we talked about that subject or maybe it was just briefly mentioned. Really, if I never have to drive I 10 through Louisiana again, I would be content with that. In our tourist years many times to avoid lots of time on I 10, the longer time choice of going up 55 and crossing over at Jackson seemed to be better, stress-wise. Now, thinking in Covid terms and this is coming from a person who doesn't like to fly, taking to the air seems more appealing. Two hours in a plane verses traversing through all the stops to fill up the tank or fill up the stomach, flying is a better choice health-wise because a road trip is going to cause much more exposure to germs. Road trips fool us as the better choice in these germ and virus related times but they are probably more dangerous. Safety wise, they are more dangerous. There was a time driving between Houston and here didn't phase me but now, people seem meaner and because of that, I do not relish the thought of ever driving that stretch by myself, unless there is an emergency. ***Update****  The book is going into the pile again. Thumbed through it and although there are interesting observations, there are other books calling out to me to read. Enjoyed the thumb through though. 

The last time I took leftover scrambled eggs out to the Feral Fam, they were not interested. This morning, they were. No surprise, they are cats and this like/dislike is in their DNA. Punky and Mama Cat had a stare down and growl fest while the others scarfed down the eggs. Since they got a really early breakfast and not everyone was there, I did additional breakfast for those absent ones, including Toupee. She let me briefly pet her head again, so progress is being made. I never thought she was particularly pretty but y'all have made me see her differently. She and Tupac are quiet meowers. 

In the Eugene Peterson biography toward the end of the book as he narrows down his living, while still participating in discussions, rarely accepting speaking engagements or writing, he practices fence sitting. Fence sitting are my words. Love this quote, "I am willing to live in uncertainty without "taking a stand' (but also at the same time "standing with" fellow Christians who I quite freely admit I don't understand). A friend from high school church days sent me a pic from her address book and there on the page, the beginnings of my love of printing and dislike of cursive writing, I drew part of the Four Spiritual Laws in a space beside the address info. Lynnie, yours is above my info and you too did a shout out to the Four Spiritual Laws too. At first I was so upset at myself. Really, I had all the answers at the age of 17 and would write without a doubt that the little tract held it all. Technically, it did cause you know, it's talking about Jesus. Then I thought, surely, I was being funny...kind of making fun of it cause in latter years, even latter months, I was making fun of it, CCC. When I think about those Leadership Training Institutes I went to and being on a speak team in college for them, deep on the inside, the marketing of Jesus and their marketing approach to spreading the Word did not sit right with me. But I was young in the faith, nothing had appealed to me like the little books of Bible studies I did that they printed and so it seems, I was waiting till something more I identified with in this realm came along. In the first year Roy and I were married, I tried out for BSF. Back then it was in such demand and they took quotas of the denominations. They told me they already had too many Baptists and being true to my upbringing and influence by my father, for a slight moment I was ready to lie about my denomination to be accepted in the Bible study. Of course, that is so wrong and ironic to lie to attend Bible study. Also back then, BSF had rules upon rules upon rules. I wouldn't have lasted but those kinds of things, like knowing I didn't have the "look" the leaders of the Bible study wanted hurt deeply and I conveniently filed all that away in my compartmentalized box in my heart...

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Rain once again. Earlier in the morning it rained a little harder than it has but we have gone back to the mist state waiting for the next round to move through. Once again a dream woke me up early this morning. My mom, Strawyer and Buddy were in it and it wasn't a nightmare but a pleasant dream. I couldn't go back to sleep so I got up and watched a little TV. The last episode in a series was finishing up and I had seen most of the earlier episodes. A documentary on finding WWII criminals. Then some news and weather. 

Yesterday, I finished up reading Lake of the Ozarks, a memoir of a summers long ago for the author and the effect they had on his quality of life. It is one of those books that you can put down and then pick back up and this book had been in the put down state for a while. It had been relegated to the stack of books to stop Buddy in her search for an opening to get behind the corner unit. 

Today is National Kale Day. I chose not to celebrate. 

On the afternoon trip Monday to the grocery store, the stockers were hard at work replenishing the shelves. Joining them in the work, supervisors or managers because there was so much product to get out. While getting milk, one of the managers said to another, he has overbought sour cream for the holidays and it will be out of date before the sour cream rush. I did not know until Monday there was a sour cream rush at Thanksgiving and Christmas, but it makes sense. She also said, egg nog had arrived. I agreed with her when she said to no one in particular, who wants to drink egg nog in October? I agreed with her, it is truly a Christmas and end of the year kind of drink. 

 

Bunny Trails and Such

 Our skies this morning have the hue of paint in the newest color cards in the genre of gray. It is not a platinum or steel gray, nor is it pewter, maybe alabaster gray. The colors of the leaves against the gray have a subdued look with their vibrancy more matte in color than vibrant. I think it is beautiful and with background colors like these, the day calls for a good book and a beverage of choice...coffee...hot tea or something cold like ice tea or Diet Coke. Too bad I finished up the Eugene Peterson biography yesterday. That was an enjoyable read while learning what made him unique in the Christian world of scholarship and pastoring...as well as authoring so many wonderful books. I believe why so many of us do not become scholars or authors has to be keeping up with the paperwork of life. Letters filed for reference in case someone wanted to write a book. Responses stapled to letters to be able to read in context his ideas, thoughts and how he chose to live life. This afternoon I will probably return to the book to reread several paragraphs that spoke so directly to this season of life and how to curate, using that culturally relevant word, my thoughts most probably in journal form. I could return to a book that I am about halfway through and because it has touched a nerve, it is a good daytime read. It has to be mindless and entertaining to read before going to bed cause then I can't shut off my brain to fall asleep. 

Just received an email from a paper and pen company that carries such wonderful goodies and the color of the year in their leather goods for writing is ultimate gray. What will be next in this palate? Our bonus room is gray but since it was painted six years ago, I don't know if this gray is in style or does it merely reflect that we are boomers? Not of the Oklahoma boomers but age wise. I have seen on Twitter several promoted tweets that advise on what to get rid of in your home décor that reveals your age. Heck, just look at me, décor or not, everything about me reveals age. I can now understand when talking to my grandma or my mom about updating things, they had no real zeal for the idea of that. Back then, didn't understand. Today, I stand in solidarity. 

Talked with Dena last night for our weekly sometimes every other weekly catch up phone call. I don't know that I have too much to add to conversations since shutting down somewhat what had opened up after Covid mandate reprieves but now the variant runs amuck and life returns to early morning appointments and grocery store visits with the smallest amount of people. Oh, and some outdoor produce stands. During this rainy duration I will need to make a grocery run as not to resort to unhealthy eating. Last year, I bought so much soup that seems to expire in 2022, so lots of soup lunches with salad and some crackers but we cannot live by soup alone. I pulled out the last of the taco soup I made last year and it was delicious as ever. The next cool down will include the making of that fall and winter treat. Roy could eat it year-round but taco soup in summer? Well, it just feels hot and oppressive. 

This morning the toy of choice in the garage with the Feral Fam is a bottle cap from a Diet Sunkist Orange drink. Buddy loved chasing Diet Coke caps and when we had to have our dryer replaced in the condo, the wall behind it was lined with bottle caps, galore that she had chased into the land of no return. Galore is not a favorite word but I am feeling amused with it this morning. Punky was a late arriver to breakfast of bedlam and so things didn't heat up because she still had sleepies in her eyes. Mama Cat was in fine hissing form as per usual. 

Read an observation from the press conference at LSU with Coach O. The desperation has set in because Coach blamed the quarterback. Well, he just guaranteed a losing season for the team and maybe they will right the ship coach-wise before it is too late. It's kind of like how my father had on repeat in almost any conversation he had with us, why can't you all be more like the _________ children? The gold standard to him. Finally after years of hearing this, I asked him, well, why can't you be more like their parents? Maybe then you'd get the results you want. That went well...but really, Coach O always thinking, why can't these guys be like the 2019 team and that includes the coaches, is this, he is the constant in both years and most probably didn't have anything really to do with him other than great recruiting. 

There is such a feeling of relief upon getting the trash bin down to the road for pickup. I don't know why it has amplified in my mind. Before it was getting everything gathered and down to the road before going to choir. Now choir is earlier and I am not attending to keep my health intact. Presently, the chore comes sometime after napping and before the road traffic picks up. Several weeks ago while standing behind the bin, after placing it in the proper place, a truck purposely drove so close to the bin, I braced myself for impact. No other cars or trucks coming on the other side, seeing the sneer on his face, I knew it had been done on purpose.  The encounter shook me a bit and if I was apprehensive before this occurrence, I am a little bit more wary now. 

Over the weekend I read an article on the Roseanne, now The Conners Show. Mixed review in how the show progressed. After about season four or five there are just select episodes I want to watch but I love the first couple of seasons. Roy and I talked about the article cause he never liked the show but being a  type of person that doesn't fit in a mainstream depiction of popularity, I found the show refreshing but only for a short while. Roseanne developed the show from her stand up comedy but as she became more popular, the show began to lose its basicness and became a lot of inside jokes that don't stand the test of time for newer viewers. Interesting trivia. Just like the Andy Griffith show, names were re-used for different characters. Guess now it would be names are reimagined but I digress. The first name Marvin is used often. Waitress in coffee shop talks about her dead husband Marvin. Shelly Winters had a recurring role and Marvin was the name of her deceased boyfriend or husband. Andy Griffith reuses the name Ramona Wiley. Guess that is the gift the pandemic has given to me in television viewing, the reoccurring phrases, words and names in series for a hundred Alex. Also in the earlier series on Roseanne, the phrase, "what's the word I'm looking for?" is used often. Must have been a favorite phrase of one of the earlier writers on the series. Where there is a bunny trail of time you'll never get back but I do find the writing process on certain shows very interesting. 

Keeping Busy Not Dizzy

 Had one of those middle of the night, 2:30 am, wake up moments. I was having a scary dream and was happy to get out of it but the thought of going right back into it if I fell asleep quickly kind of kept me awake. Got up and decided to read more of the Eugene Peterson biography. It is so good and now I think I'll pull out my Message Bible upon finishing the book. I think I will have a greater appreciation of the work that went into it. As his story is being told, you can see how his path was laid out for him. I'm at the part where he is finding out that instead of being a professor like he had planned, it was pastoring that truly was taking over his heart and path. Eugene Peterson is described as one of the humblest men to grace the ministry. The author was a friend with Eugene and he saw first hand how hard it was at first to get him to give him access to his journals, letters and such. Then, added to this was who Eugene Peterson thought was important and it wasn't celebrity pastors or theologians. Over the years I have used Eugene Peterson devotion books and especially now, here in some of the most beautiful scenery ever, they click in my spirit even more. With about an hour of early morning reading, I was able to go back to sleep, not dream the scary dream and find rest until I woke up this morning. 

The process is slow but steady in changing out the downstairs. Going through books again and that is the hardest area for me to let go, but dang it, some more books need to go...so more can come in...no...well, yes. I plead the fifth. Have more shredding to do. 

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I have been away from the computer for several days. Out of the blue after playing or while playing Tri Peaks, I feel like I have vertigo. Nothing else bothers me, just that card game. Guess I will have to find another outlet for keeping sharp. So once again last night a bad dream woke me up. I got up and read for about an hour and then went back to sleep. For me, I slept in a bit and so the kitties were very hungry this morning being fed later than usual. Toupee actually rubbed up against my hand and Junior after hissing his presence sniffed my hand before putting the dish down in front of him. It was rough and tumble there at the bowls this morning. The other day KH was on the driveway, close to the garage door. I heard this deep rumbling sound, almost mechanical like. The kitties bristled a bit and ate with a great awareness of him being so close. I finally realized that was him making that sound, nothing like I have ever heard before from him or any other cat. Sure there is growling and such but this was unnerving. 

Yesterday, I received such a wonderful and heartfelt surprise. A friend sent a plaque of Buddy and an easel to place it on. It is on my desk now but I bawled upon opening it. What a kind and thoughtful treasure. Peggy sent me a necklace of Cali's likeness after Cali passed on. I look at these remembrances and I am overcome with joy and tears. So many spiritual and life lessons learned from Cali and Buddy, but also HP and the others. 

Thursday was the twice yearly dental cleaning and I left with a pretty good bill of teeth health. Afterwards I tried to go through the line at Biltmore Church, but fifteen days early, so no go. I made a stop at the nearby Barnes and Noble and then headed back toward home with a quick stop in The Fresh Market. I'm trying to keep ready made meals in the house and that helps me stick around here. Not that I don't want to but if there isn't something rather easy to prepare, I resort to junk food. The $5.00 pizza on Thursdays is so good. Several weeks ago it was the greek pizza but this week, veggie. Add some jalapeño stuff olives to the mix and there is deliciousness right there in the kitchen.  Leftovers for lunch today. 

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I went to bed at halftime and it felt like LSU would lose even if they were ahead then. Happy to have gone to sleep rather than finish out the game since they lost. Even the official LSU Twitter account confirms why they are likely to not finish out well this season. They are too busy thinking about Joe Burrows. The account showed JB in his Bengals uniform. That is the past and it seems no one can look at the present or the future without thinking about LSU in 2019. Just seems to be their mindset. 

I spent the afternoon shredding all the little pieces of paper that have accumulated and thus little stacks of paper everywhere are gone. Got several other chores taken care of on a stay at home Saturday. Read a couple of articles on the delta variant that seemed a bit encouraging. 

Roy texted me last night around 7:30 pm central time letting me know he was going to bed. I was talking to Brenda when he texted, so I hung up with her and called him. He has had one very stressful week. He is putting in a lot of hours at the office and next week is looking like a repeat. This morning he sounded rested and that makes me happy. Thankful for him resting because there was a day, that he would just push through. There was a day he didn't take concern with his well being and health. He still motors on but with a wisely discourse and that is a huge blessing to me. 

I'm hoping I'll be able to go back to teaching in a couple of weeks. All the backstories have to come together and it's looking good for being able to get back before the end of October. I told our pastor I miss church, friends and teaching but I also know that to be careful not fearful is the best thing I can do right now. This morning I zoomed with Dayspring, the class I was a member of in Houston. My friend Carole taught and they are using the quarterly like our class is. Carole is such a gifted teacher and I also love being able to call her a friend. 

Ah, a gentle rain has began. Gentle rain is good for the flowers and plants. Even with cooler temps I am over going out to water plants. We will probably have the first frost before the end of October so I will need to move in the lime and lemon potted trees.