Shortly Thereafter

 Way before I began teaching Sunday School when I was able to take sabbatical Sundays, I accidently came across a scene of a lone car in a church parking lot, with an older lady standing beside it dressed in the ubiquitous pencil skirt with a short matching jacket and a fashionable pill box hat. She stood there gazing at that medium to good sized church building. I don't have any idea how long she looked back but in that few seconds of seeing this, she got into her car and made her way to the exit. Several weeks later I read that the church where I had seen the lady had closed. The Sunday I saw her was the last Sunday with only a few there to worship. She told the story of that church in her interview, she had been there since childhood and had watched it grow, blossom, overflow, decrease and come into just a handful of members. They couldn't keep afloat cause that handful of members, now elderly didn't have the funds. Sometime after this, the church property was sold and another church meets there. I think of that woman, church and being a witness of that morning but not in a sense of church closure but in general life lived. We don't always get that opportunity to look, remember and then move on. Many times it is all happening so fast we don't get to make the proper goodbyes. 

We just celebrated the one week in with Millie Mazda. I am still learning and Roy as well where things are, what does what and that includes coming into the house and googling our questions. The print in the manual for the car, well, let's just say the print is small. Feeling limited many times to go anywhere past Weaverville with Mustang Sally, we took a little jaunt yesterday to Burnsville. First stop, breakfast at Pig and Grits. The highlight of that stop is, Christy of Christy's Crafts leaving with family and friends and our chance meeting in the parking lot. So good to see her. We got the invitation to their church's celebration tomorrow complete with dinner on the ground but we are unable to attend. So, this was a nice icing on the cake moment. We then headed over to The Find and I found a few things. We made a quick stop in the clothing store behind them and the name escapes me right now. By this time, with little to no AC in either store, the heat got to me. Once we headed toward home we both took advantage of Millie's cooled seats and dang, if that isn't the best cooled seats we've ever had in a vehicle. We are hoping to venture out a little farther on our next excursion. 

There continues to be reports of the bear I saw on Sunday morning. I am calling him the Tipton Hill Bear cause a whole lot of folks are seeing him and not in the usual places. People are saying this year more bears than ever are being seen due to their habitat being turned into homes and the like. We have not seen him since but I am always conscience of his maybe or might be presence. 

Saturday evening we watered plants so you can thank us for the rain yesterday. Ha! When church was over the rain poured down. We waited for it to let up a little before walking briskly to the car. Our pastor began our new study, the book of John. Looking forward to the coming weeks of John. 

Lions and Tigers, No, But A Bear, Oh My

It was a blissful Sunday morning. We were eating breakfast and I looked up to gaze upon the beauty of God's creation, another type of beauty of of God's creation with a bit of a jog pace moved along the gravel road of our neighbors and into their open wildflower pasture. A bear! Not Yogi. Not Boo Boo but hopefully a Baylor Bear. In the twelve years we have owned this home we have never, ever, nope not once, ever have seen a bear. Oh, there was that bobcat in 2015 that used the front yard as a cut through and there was a bull who wiggled his way out of an opening in the fence, came across the road and stood there until I recognized his existence. That happened when I heard a snorting sound very close to me. Turned to look and there he was moving toward me. I believe I almost ran to the front porch but it was probably more of a brisk walk. Several years ago a pair of deer passed through and one turkey. Other than these mentioned we've had racoons, chipmunks, squirrels and snakes. But, on the seventh day of June in the year of our Lord 2026, I saw a bear. He seemed to be moving along and looked back down the road and continued to make his way over toward our across the way neighbors, who has kiddos and dogs. I texted them and Roy texted our neighbors above us. I tried, really tried to take a picture but I was so rattled and so nervous, I couldn't think fast enough to get that phone ready. That moment of excitement over in those short seconds but the lingering of the "what if "started drifting into my thoughts. Not the what if we had been outside but the what if that bear is waiting for us to come outside. Is he lurking in the shadows? Roy still needed to get some food out to The Feral Fam and he postponed the usual time. They began to congregate around the backdoor. I felt the need to make an announcement to the Fam that Sunday breakfast might become Sunday brunch. Finally, cause he would have been out there sooner if it was up to him. He went out and got breakfast served. Meanwhile I was on bear patrol with the security cameras and going window to window checking out the situation. 

Because of the attention to detail in this reconnaissance mission, I began humming then breaking into full voice singing, The Bear Went Over the Mountain to help guide this wayward bear on his way. Then, I wondered if Baylor University had sent the bear to see where those Alumni By Choice donations were as well as noticing the car with the Baylor sticker was gone. Wow, if this bear was from Baylor, Sic 'em Bears, he did a good job getting my attention. 

I also asked Roy if he had recently made fun of any bald men? I knew I hadn't but in case he had, was this just like the Bible? The story of Elisha being made fun of by some guys and a bear comes to rip them all up into pieces. No, we did not do that. 

The Teen Girl Squad Camp Song? Did the bear know I needed a fresh laugh over old funnies?

And the chumbly wumbly bear came a tumblin' down!
Did he sell beans?
Lord no!
Did he sell eggs?
Lord no!
But he couldn't... so he stapled it down!"

I don't know, but only the fans of Teen Girl Squad will get the above reference. What I do know is this, it is difficult to get ready for church and be on bear patrol. It is comforting to know that all of The Feral Fam have been accounted for. 

Alas, after this visual bear encounter I cannot say if I know or not know the mystery of the universe...Does a bear poop in the woods? No definitive answer on our part. 

Hello Millie, Goodbye Sam

Lately my attention is turned to the tree tops that can be seen from the front upstairs bedroom window. They display quite a show and their daily dance is more classical ballet then modern interpretive dance. The trees take turns being the prima ballerina but their background contributions are stellar. One particular tree in the very back and a few feet taller than the rest almost moves like a mechanical prop. Maybe not to others but I can make out the outline of a dog or sometimes even a horse. When the wind blows that particular tree moves like a dog or horse running while the surrounding trees wave back and forth, to and fro cheering on that one tree moving contrary to the to and fro. 

 In our study yesterday at Circle Joy we looked briefly at Paul's fellow prisoner Epaharus. He brought the good news to the people of Colossae and he was a gentile as well as a fervent prayer. I remember a devotional thought thing I did one year at a retreat about him. Many biblical scholars believe he had himself thrown into prison to be able to take care of Paul. So, it wasn't a Roman Holiday...haha. 

This has been an extremely emotion packed week. So many time intensive concerns. We've been looking at cars because Mustang Sam needs to be enjoyed by someone else. Such a fun car but the last few years we didn't feel Sam to be day trip worthy. The rim noise over sixty miles an hour distracted me. Don't think we will want aluminum rims again. So back and forth to the grocery store and church. Mustang Sam with the top down brought nature up close and personal. Roy got some of the best photographs while driving through the tunnels on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Yet, I was trailed a couple of times by cops and once a state trooper. Only ticket I have received in over forty years, Mustang Sam and me going through Woodfin, a place where one never speeds, but I was singing Christmas Carols and failed to notice that the speed of the car was going about as fast as I was singing. 

We had other appointments that took attention and I taught Bible study on Thursday morning. It has been a year since last teaching. Our teacher has a few health things going on. I kept on the subject of finishing well. We looked at Psalm 92 and some of the highlights of Samuel's life serving and how he dealt with the hurt of the people wanting a king. I didn't have a lot of study time but finishing well is a subject near and dear to my heart. 

Back to buying Millie Mazda, even with all the prep work Roy had done coming in with approval and having the paperwork we would ever need and more organized in a folder was time intensive. Things take time even with email and texts and all that stuff. We drove Mazda's back in the day and in fact, we drove them until there was nothing left to drive. Since our preferred brand of Toyota is kind of messed up right now and we didn't know enough for other brands, we researched the new improved business of Mazda. I was thinking back in the day, we bought and traded cars like baseball cards but now we drive our vehicles much longer. Part of that is immaturity on our part and better manufactured goods on the car makers part. Last year we thought about a Lexus but ruled that out due to no Lexus dealership in our area, so basically we would be getting the Toyota experience which chased us away from the local dealership. That sounds entitled but really, if you're spending that kind of money, the perks are nice to have. Millie Mazda handles like a sports car and even has a sports setting just like the Mustang. The ride is higher off the road and love all the storage capacity in the back. One thing that has changed, I haven't cranked up the music yet, but maybe that is still to come. 

What Happened To May?

 A coolish and foggy Friday morning. We are going between two seasons lately and I don't think most of us mind. Hotter days are ahead, our patterns change. Our trees now look like a forest from all the rain we've had and rain we've needed. I was greeted on the driveway by Roy cutting up the branches from the ornamental cherry trees that hang over one side when returning home Wednesday night from choir. In early May I felt I was so early trying to get flower things done and here at the end of May, I feel so behind. My attention is now toward the middle of summer when most of these seeds will be flowering. Roy looked at the tomatoes and bell peppers yesterday and said they are doing good. He will probably put up the tomato cages sometime this weekend. 

After three weeks of missing Thursday Morning Bible Study, I was glad when they said unto me, let us go into the conference room to listen, discuss and study Finishing Well With A Life of Purpose. I have a confession to make, after we finished the mini version, no homework study of Mark by Kay Arthur, I was a little concerned about now having a man teach our study, brilliant man at that cause most of what I know about men teaching is, no discussion. My way or the highway type attitude. On a side note, Roy didn't believe me when I told him that there was a distinctive terminology with work or attitudes divided up by, that's women's work around this area. Upon being here full time, he was quick to verify my observations. He found it astounding, not as in a eureka moment but in, how can this attitude happen in the twenty first century. But of course, I digress. Back to Bible study, I confess I was wrong and this has been one of the best, meaningful and interesting look into the scriptures. Yesterday, when I got home I told Roy all about what we studied. The discussion and the openness of our thoughts is so encouraging. Bryan, is a retired engineer that worked at Lockheed Martin. Sometimes he will add thoughts to our lesson with info on quantum physics. I kind of check out on that part just like always when it comes to math. But he gave us such an applicable example that even I, minimal math Nancy was blown away. He said, what if you took a math class, I think I laughed, anyway, you are taking a math class and you just aren't getting it. You go to tutoring, do extra study but it still doesn't make sense. On the day of the exam, you go to the professor, now I am laughing cause I never took a math class in college, and say, I don't understand this, I am going to fail...  The professor responds, what if I take the test for you? Boom! Bingo! That is the example of what Jesus did for us, he took the test, he bore the price so that we could pass, so we could have life abundantly. He added he once said the same thing to a professor about understanding the class, but the professor didn't volunteer to take the test.  Insert whatever course or what you're good at where math is used. Double boom, double bingo. Bryan's insights into the biblical culture of the first century church is thought provoking. Michael Card, author and musician, teaches imagine study of the scripture that I have always loved. Put yourself in that place...forty days and forty nights is one thing to read, but when you think of a period of time with waiting, wondering and discouragement that we experience, it brings a whole new dimension into your study time. I have a friend right now waiting on an MRI and this time of waiting, antibiotics and such...probably feels like forty days and forty nights, but she knows God is in control. 

The choir is singing one of my all time favorites, Majesty and Glory of Your Name. Memories flooded back singing that anthem with the choir at First Baptist Houston. I was talking with Peggy the other day and mentioned that she and I must have sang a combo of alto/tenor cause some of those notes are just too dang high. 

Something to be grateful for, not being a member of a Southern Baptist Church right now. I mean it seems there are greater things, issues and problems. Some SBC pastors and men, when it comes to nitpicking and such, well, at least they are consistent. Guess one could say they are like Jesus, they are the same yesterday, today and forever. Haha! Old M&G joke. 

Repeat these basic essentials over and over to God’s people. Warn them before God against pious nitpicking, which chips away at the faith. It just wears everyone out. Concentrate on doing your best for God, work you won’t be ashamed of, laying out the truth plain and simple. Stay clear of pious talk that is only talk. Words are not mere words, you know. If they’re not backed by a godly life, they accumulate as poison in the soul. Hymenaeus and Philetus are examples, throwing believers off stride and missing the truth by a mile by saying the resurrection is over and done with. 2 Timothy 2:14-18 Message Bible

Making That Turn For The June Cardiologist Appt

 A joy to be back in choir for our Sunday service. Our director has been out for a couple of months recovering from a fall. We met Wednesday for the first time. I don't think they planned on us returning so soon, but rehearsal went well even with a few of our members playing with the Asheville Band at the Biltmore. We sang the condensed version of Behold Our God, one of my favs. Our pastor is wrapping up the Psalms and soon we will be in the book of John. 

I think in every church and in every choir of churches  I've attended there seems to be a Sunday where the feelings fill up at how much I love being at that church. Happened at First Baptist Houston and when Newfound Baptist had a choir.  Sunday morning I looked across the congregation and experienced those feelings. So many answered prayers, especially this morning as friends returned from surgery, or being with family having surgery and answered prayer for Debbie's return. Our hymns lifted up the Name of Jesus and we rejoiced being a child of His. 

May 22nd was the one year anniversary of an eventful cardiologist visit. That visit prompted the next few months of health concerns and changes that needed to be made. My BP was through the roof, stroke level, and after monitor wearing and dobutamine stress echocardiogram, atrial flutter determined a cardioversion was in order. The flutter with no break into a regular rhythm? No wonder I remained in the state of constant exhaustion and the worst case of brain fog. Believe me, brain fog has been my companion for many years before these senior adult years. 

During that time last year something I read caught my attention and resonated deeply, Steve Bezner, a dynamic pastor in Houston was resigning his pastorship to become a professor at Truett Seminary at Baylor University. What spoke to me was his story, his heart and health story. His cardiologist told him he needed to make some changes in his life or suffer the consequences. My doctors had said, this is a second chance. You have a window of opportunity, take advantage. One day, you won't be able to fight back. That's what I have been doing and changes are coming about slower than I like. Getting my hip on the right track was huge for the progress to begin. Just last week, he wrote these words in the next paragraph and just like last year, this year his thoughts and observations resonated within me. I mean really, how much slower of a pace could I get but it was the stress I was heaping upon myself and it was affecting my health. Yes, there were other things weighing in, but our concern was to restore a good heart beat and walk in good health. I did what a lot of people do now, research to determine what will work and impact. Steve Bezner is on Substack and everything he writes is worth the time.

1. Slower pace has been good for our health and souls. As mentioned at the beginning of this piece, we made this transition because of my health. It has paid enormous dividends. My blood pressure is down thirty points. My weight is down. My bloodwork is the best it has been in a decade. My cardiologist was…happy??…at my last visit. It’s a different pace of life, and it appears I needed it. When I sat on my back patio in Houston, I could hear a highway, a train, and an airport while speaking directly to both of my neighbors. From my Waco back patio? When we sit in our chairs we can hear…nothing. We can see the stars. I miss Houston. I miss HNW. And I miss pastoring. But this has been a welcome and needed shift.

Rain, Yay!

 Looking back at FB memories it seems we plant on this day in years gone by. We have held to that tradition by working in the flowerbeds this afternoon. We have spent two fruitless trips to Canton. Mustang Sam is on his last legs and the cost of repair is just too much for what needs to be done. While driving back to Canton to pick Sam up, my right hearing aid just stopped working. Frustrated beyond words trying to solve the issue. Well, Monday morning holds an appointment to see what the heck is wrong. 

Afternoons filled with construction noise is the norm around here now but today is was just farm equipment. No rain expected for days so hay is fluffed and drying out to soon be put into bales. They are still able to do that across the road but a few more houses look to be built and that will cause that delightful scene to cease. The baling began in earnest in the early evening and as we transplanted tomato plants and pepper plants we moved to the sound of hay baling. Oh the sweet fragrance of that is just about one of my all time favorite fragrances. 

I've also been reading about tell tale signs in creative or just plain oh communicative writing. There are so many styles and ways. A common example is how people treat animals or the stories they tell about animals. Some people just are cruel and heartless and their "humorous" stories or even in the forming of the first few sentences tells me more than I really want to know. It seems like the same can be said about those who love cars and trucks, collect them, working and non-working. Vintage or new but the backseat of their vehicles are filled with trash including unfinished meals of fast food. I know that we don't keep up with washing or vacuuming the inside of our vehicles but we also don't leave snacks or meals in them either. Artists, creative people who sometimes work in chaos which seems opposite of what we are told about our brains, the chaos tells us their approach or maybe more about their brain It would seem writers could be classified in that arena as well. The will to create or communicate how is the story, hobby or art is displayed but behind the scenes is interesting. 

*****

Well, a little bit of time, like maybe a week or so has gone by. Reading about creative writing and then, just like that, two books have my attention. Small Towns Girls, Jayne Anne Phillips and The Calamity Club. Small Towns Girls is the author's memoir of growing up in West Virginia interspersed with history of systems of the area. I do not want this book to end. I took The Calamity Club, huge book, with me to read while waiting for Roy at the gastro office. A bit of overkill, I know. I had not taken into account some good waiting room people watching. I'm enjoying Calamity but the character buildups are taking a little too long for me. Since dealing with all the side effects and such from the C o^!d era, a couple keep hanging around and one of them is attention span. I did not have a very long attention span before the era. If you have to have a pleasant experience at a gastro place, Roy had one. The people are so nice and he received excellent care. We have prayed over this appointment quite a bit and this one is his best ever. Our doctor likes this group in Hendersonville, so that's where we went. We also got around all the backup on 26 with the lane being closed for the connector for 26. 

It seems all of WNC is happy for rain. We've had so little yet the word on the road is, the peach crop is fabulous this year. We had our first peaches of the season and they were sweet and delicious. Usually, peaches don't start out that well in the first pick of the season. With the rain, we opted out of the Lowe's trip and instead focused on grocery shopping. Got that taken care of, came home and debated whether to go to Windy Hill Farms or go to Mars Hill for lunch. We took lunch in Mars Hill for a thousand Aleck. Stopped at the store, got a few things and came back out. I saw something shine for a brief moment in the tire. Dang, a nail but it was in the tire in such a way that we were not in imminent danger of air loss. Ironic cause we had dropped off the Mustang for a second opinion that morning and now this. Got home and Roy headed over to the tire shop. Second opinion confirmed the first one from last week on the Mustang. We will begin in earnest this week searching for a car. 

May has held a lot of appointments and beginning the middle of June, we will get a brief reprieve till August, when it starts up again. 

What Doesn't Define You

 I wrote a long time ago about the time when Roy was in his last two years of law school. He had study group on Sunday mornings, which meant I went to church by myself. Now that in itself is nothing cause due to circumstances, I have done that many, many times. What I did back then and it wasn't a conscious thought but became a habit. I would begin from childhood through teenage years, college years, continue into young married and conclude the thoughts to the present (at that time) of all the hard, difficult, not knowing or understanding things that had happened in life. After a full morning of all those thoughts which were hard and heavy, I was just in the best of moods to worship the Lord and go to church. At that time in the early 90s, I did not have the answers or even understand the questions of it all. It would have been bad for me to stay in that state of mind. Not wholeheartedly, but little by little I began to research, talk with a therapist and do the work that needed to be done. It was a long process but in 2017, after the death of my father, I stumbled upon the motherload of help and answers to all the junk that wanted to stay apart of my life. Ugh!

One thing I figured out first on the adventure was, the different stages of telling the story. Early on it was a cry for help, someone rescue me from all of this. Later, it became the cry of seeking answers and having someone pat me on the back and say, "there, there." That led to thinking someone needed to walk along side me while processing and healing. Then the story became a work in progress in that I was in the middle part of the journey. Now, I feel like I look at it as, it happened, it affected me, I have learned from it and these hard, mean and uncertain meaning of things does not define me. 

I stumbled upon a person on FB, Farmer Girl. This morning she gave a description of how she approaches scripture and the like. Her description is very close to how I have done. So much that she writes resonates. The other day her post on Jabez was not the obvious take that took hold many years ago. Expanding your territory, more like a prosperity message that people loved cause it was a veiled message. Farmer Girl wrote of what Jabez bore throughout his life. His name meant pain. So, as she wrote, when he came near just saying his name was saying, oh hello pain. Go to her FB page and she is on Instagram too. God redeemed him and as Farmer Girl writes, your beginning doesn't have to be the definition of who you are. May I insert, Praise God! This is what prompted this blog post. In a baby book that parents began writing down the highlights of shots, first word, first five birthday type things, a secondary book that both my mom and father wrote in, the first words of the doctor to them, well you didn't get the boy you wanted. Wow! And as I have written before around the age of five my father started his journey of hating me because I was more interested in friends and school than him. As an adult I once asked him if he had wanted children and did he want to start a family as soon as my mom did. He said, he really never wanted children and I was a reminder of every early celebration or accomplishment, he could never truly enjoy them cause he had a family to think about. He said your mother wanted a baby, I did not. I can't believe I said to him. "well, you could have taken care of that yourself." Yes, we live the legacy of lack of condom use to deter having a baby. That is his story as well. His mother didn't want a second child. 

If you want to read her post, worth it, on FB, go to her page. The picture of mushrooms in the forest is your go to cause there isn't a title. 

In reading several things about this it dawned on me recently, this freedom from all of that has fallen fresh upon me. It occurred to me that there seemed to be a lightness in my steps and I was interested in things around here that pretty much lost me. The Co^id shot did a world of hurt and last year I finally felt like I was recovering from all of that. Something that got my attention is how much peace and rest our brains need and that is what I have been doing this past year. Since last summer with the heart issues and such I knew life needed to change for me. Now, I have been given a few challenges from my new doctor and I have focused on those to be able to meet a desired result in August. So this peace and rest is what I have needed. In that I discovered a renewed interest in our home. We had been looking at houses but decided to stop that for now. We have great neighbors and a great yard and a great house. Man, there were several houses that were tempting but as wonderful as they are, it is not for us now. Yes, we have six cats and yes it is a full time job to stay ahead of things cleaning wise. We are blessed to live in the mountains and blessed to be near such beauty and yet have it right here in our own front yard. We don't have much of a back yard. 

Well, I must close up but had other things to write about.