Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Stretch And......

So what do I find myself doing the last Tuesday of my fifties decade?  Laundry.  I had this fabulous idea to wear everything I think I might want to take with me the past few weeks, thus cutting out the middle man which would be the closet or drawers.  This way once everything is dry, I fold it and take it into the guest room which is the staging ground for trips.  In there I have also started the blue storage container of books, journals, journal materials, pens, pencils, glue, scissors and scotch tape.  The lime green storage container is food, not for the car, but for the cottage.  Yes, I know Asheville and the surrounding areas have groceries but there are a few things I'm concerned with that might not be carried in their stores.  There also is dishwasher and washing machine detergents to bring just to get the whole clean thing started.  It's not that I am going to jump right in and start washing clothes, but when I do, I'll be ready.  We bought a Keruig to take with us because the cottage just has the coffee pot thing and I have never, ever made good coffee in a pot.

This is where I plan to spend a lot of time in the mornings out on the screened in porch with pastoral and long range mountain views.  With my coffee.....

This is why if we don't find the home that we absolutely love, I know that we can rent the cottage for the summer next year and be just fine with that or if we find a home north of Asheville, this will be the perfect place to stay when we need to be here for remodeling and stuff like that.  

Then when I feel like doing a little rocking, I will head to the front porch.  

I totally got off subject for my last Tuesday in my 50's but maybe going this direction really fits in with the title for today.  

Monday, July 28, 2014

I Like To Kick......

Today begins the official count down living out the last week of being in my 50's.  Funny, ten years ago when facing my 50's I was upset, depressed and out of sorts some of it due to turning fifty but there were other things happening in life that just about shut me down.  I experienced the worst depression in my life and barely could get myself together to go to work because I came home and pretty much slept until the next morning when again I had to pull myself together and get into the job.  At some point I decided that I was going to go into my first day of fifty looking the best I possibly could, so I scheduled Lisa, Peggy, Dena and I for an afternoon of Spa Sanctuary at the Nord Spa.  It was the best day as we had treatments, facials, mani/pedis and massages with lunch in the relaxation room.  Then after the spa, we went downstairs and had makeovers.  We finished off the day at Lupe's Tortilla.

Facing sixty, doesn't seem to have had the same effect on me.  Maybe it's because of the Asheville house hunting distraction but probably not.  I think it has more to do with gratitude to God because I am still alive and by most accounts, I shouldn't be.

I have been healthy and active most of my life, until my fifty's.  What began as scheduling a quality of life surgery became something more on the drive home from the Dr office.  They saw something in the ultrasound, a tumor, and they wouldn't know if it was malignant or benign until they did they surgery.  The Dr even scheduled the surgery on a day the oncologist could be there if it became something more.  Thankfully, it didn't become something more and those weeks awaiting surgery were filled with faith, then fear, back to faith and then some more fear.  I will always be so thankful for Cynthia C waiting with Roy during my surgery and then while he took care of getting me a private room, she escorted me and the gurney to the room.   Then in 2008 right before Ike and after a misdiagnosis, I found myself in a cardiologist's office learning that a virus had attacked my heart and only ten percent of it was working.  Thus began a five year odyssey of healing along with three cardioversions, two echo cardiograms and one ablation and one Revel implant ...and good recovery because the cardiologist helped me come back from near death, twice, I'm alive and enjoying life here in my last week of being in my 50's and looking forward to my sixties.

In my fifty's, I traveled more than I had before.  The love of Western North Carolina grew in my heart and spirit.  Buddy Lee Beardsley swept me off my feet.  We built a home and moved out to the prairie.  My mother was released from the prison of Alzheimer's and into Beulah Land.  My father severed his fragile relationship with Roy and me.  I've experienced life in unexpected ways with unexpected results meaning I have learned a lot in my fifty's with the Lord and the ways He prepared for me, while I questioned, those ways were truly for my growth and good.  Roy and I continue to grow closer each year and really have had a lot of fun in my 50's.  Long lost friends from the long ago have come back into my life and for this I am thankful.  In my fifty's I have come to appreciate friendship even more and so thankful for friends near and far.  Community Bible Study for me, started in my 50's and I have loved studying God's Word with Peggy but also making a whole bunch of new friends in the past six years.  Living in my fifty's has brought treasured friends from the inner loop to Rancho De Five, Dena and Emily and David.  And now in these past months studying, researching and looking online at homes in the mountains of North Carolina.

A constant all through life, laundry.  So here on this last Monday of being in the decade of my fifties, I must complete my task and begin the sorting of what's going with me on my trip.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Weekend Updates

It was rather exciting on Thursday after reporting in for jury duty we were told the dispute had been resolved five minutes earlier and we would be free to go in a few minutes.  They brought us into the courtroom and the judge talked with us a few minutes.  He was quite entertaining and a veritable fount of information for all things countywide.  That was the easiest $6.00 ever earned for fifteen minutes.

When the invites went out to celebrate Carole Lewis and honor her work and retirement several months ago Dena and I made plans to attend and not only attend but to make a fun shopping time too.  She suggested we get a hotel room, come into the Galleria, shop the Nord and then check in and get ready for the deal at the Junior League.  Sounded like a great plan to me, so that is what we did.   She picked me up and off we went.  Both of us had good shopping days at the Nord and we ate a later type lunch at the Bistro.  Since this was a First Place event we figured dinner would lean to the healthy side so we better lay a good foundation.  That foundation would be steak and Bistro fries.  Yum!  We timed it perfectly finishing shopping and checking in at the Omni to get a little rest before attending the dinner at 7:00.   As we watched the news on a situation with a high rise crane in the general area, we didn't realize until later that we could have watched the scene unfold from our room window.   We had a fabulous time at Carole's celebration and had lots of good conversations and laughs with friends.  Saturday morning we did the continental breakfast at the Omni and then headed out to Home Source and The Amish Craftsman.  After a vigorous shopping expedition, we ate at Molina's since we hadn't eaten there in quite some time after moving out to Rancho De Five.  Everything was delicious!  We also took a little drive around Washington and marveled at all the changes the area is going through.  A quick stop at the produce stand to show Dena where it is located and she dropped me off at home.  Buddy greeted us since Roy was out and about running errands.  Both Dena and I realized that just a little break from the routine can be so refreshing although I took a little nap later on.

Buddy expressed her displeasure of me being gone for a night in the middle of the night.  She is not as gracious as Roy.  Oh, she started off well but sometime around 2:30 am she decided it would be the opportune time to bite and scratch me letting me know how she feels.  I caught her before she could get a good whack at me and Roy chased her out of the bedroom twice.  On her third return, she had settled down and was content to once again sleep at the end of our bed.

I am so thankful for a husband that believes that what blesses me will bless him.  He has always been so good about letting me go places and on trips with friends.  I count that as such a wonderful attribute in him.   This morning we attended home church and by home church I mean he rode his trek early and then we changed out A/C filters and light bulbs.  Slowly but surely I am working on little details for our trip that might be overlooked in a last minute rush.   We continue to trim our list down of houses we'd like to look at around Asheville and for a brief ten minutes or so, we contemplated a townhouse community in Weaverville but in the end we knew we wanted more room.  We continue to think long range and we are also taking in the facts that we will want our friends to come and visit.  We would like to be able to offer guestrooms that don't feel like a quickly worked over computer room or office.  I would say craft room but most of you would laugh at that.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Small Facade....Big House

When Laurie and I make plans for lunch, I so look forward to the day.  Our conversations are fun, serious, peppered with a few confessions and lots of solving the world's problems with our observations.  What made Tuesday's lunch have a little more pop?  Roger B was sitting one table over from us and he threw a balled up piece of paper at us.  In those fleeting seconds of recovery from having someone throw a dry spit wad at you are insightful.  I harkened back to school days and came up to the present as I began scanning the room for unruly children and I found him...only it was unruly Roger B.  Great fun seeing him.  Laurie and I got each other caught up with our lives and I showed her a couple of pics from our online mountain home search and she showed me a couple of pics from their latest find.

Laurie commented on one picture of a home we are considering that it looked so small.  That is the mystery of NC mountain real estate.  What is behind that small looking facade is usually one big ol' home on three levels with wider sq footage that isn't visible until you look to the side and the rear view of the property.  When we first began our search, those homes got a quick dismissal but on the second or third look through I began to explore the value beyond a front facade and in most of these homes with basements, that sq footage isn't included for the total number in the house. So for us it has been a discovery of depth and surprise.  One new listing Roy and I discovered last night truly was one of those mysteries of the landscape.  While we read the overview we saw it is a home that possess the top three wants on our list but what a pleasant surprise when we began to look at the photo gallery.  Instead of the usual dark woods of the arts and craftsman style, which I absolutely love, this home's colors are muted grays and whites.  Gives off such a cool feeling.  It has shot up into the top five of the homes we would like to see.  Of course so many homes on paper, I mean on the Internet, look like they are perfect but we all know the pictures are supposed to show the good and best qualities of the home.  Unfortunately most have not been schooled in the Jason Swiggart Art of Presentation and as I look through their photos I am so surprised at what has not been put away.

Looking at homes has become an addiction and researching has become my hobby because we want to be as informed as possible before looking at NC homes.  I couldn't help but think as I have looked at several homes we'd like to see that started out on the no way, too small list, that we all are like that... judging a book by it's cover.  Yes, I realize I have mixed metaphors but you know....I kind of like doing that.  Also, I saw a documentary on how book covers are chosen.  Lots of research goes into many covers but alas once a particular cover works, all others are apt to copy the look instead of developing their own unique cover.  Deeper and surprising, like right now...commentary on book covers.  Some of my closest friends through the years have been people I might have dismissed as too different.  My goodness, Roy and I started out as total and complete opposites...I almost wrote  total and complete idiots and that might be true too but we are more alike now after being married for nearly thirty seven years whether we be idiots or not.  I love how Jenny Johnston can see older homes with good bones and make beautiful, modern homes from them.  We are toying around with letting her do just that if the no updating needed houses don't work out for us.  That's what we have to do with people, see beyond the present and look to help their future unfold into something beautiful.  You know, something good.  All my confusion...you know what?  Someone should write a song with those words.  

I am reading a wonderfully interesting book, a million little ways by emily p. freeman.  I remember reading an advance on her book and since it would be sometime before it was released, I pre-ordered it from Amazon.  When it came I was like, so what is this book?  Then I remembered.  The book is all about uncovering the art you were made to live.  She has insight into such familiar passages like when Jesus washed the feet of the disciples.  Along with her brilliant insights, my less than brilliant thoughts coupled with her.  She writes descriptively of the bowl and dirty water as Jesus moves down the line of his friends, washing their feet.  I could not help but think...did Jesus kind of laugh to Himself when he saw the dirty water thinking, hey boys, this is just the stuff of what you are made, dirt and water.  Right there in that foot washing bowl a potential human being.   Did He think about the blind man that we read about in John 9?  Just a little dirt made into clay...healed the man's eyes.  I also wonder if just but for a moment the formerly blind man thought...with all this fuss about gaining sight, blindness is better?  He didn't really get a chance to rejoice or tell those who loved him...I can see and that biblical robe you're wearing is so BC.  I mean really, the Pharisees are more interested in the inth degree of who and when, his parents throw him under the bus constantly repeating to the Pharisees, hey, he is old enough to tell you....don't bring us into it and he is asked to repeat his story over and over again.  I love that when the whole shenanigans with the synagogue leaders  are over, Jesus seeks the man out and tells him who He is and why.  So much better than the Pharisees' who and when.  Last Saturday Roy led the Bible study he attends at the Episcopal church and they were in Acts 7, Roy shared with me his thoughts on Stephen's stoning that it was those who he knew and had studied with that were the ones who killed him.  The same practice and group is true for the blind man only he wasn't killed and sadly so many times in our modern era, this is still the painful truth, it's the ones we go to church with that can hurt us the most.  David in the Psalms knew about this too.  (Psalm 55:12-14)  Oh, no one has done this to me...recently...just the thread that is weaving through my thoughts.   Nor do I think I have done this to anyone recently...again the thread thing.

Well, I am off to get ready for jury duty.  My first out here in Rancho De Five and it is the JP Court.  I am so thankful we don't live in Harris County anymore and have that drive into downtown with the nightmare that is the parking garage.  On my drive through on Tuesday, it was a wide open parking lot.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Friends and Mission 55:6-7

It's kind of appropriate that one of my favorite bloggers and authors wrote a post that spoke so directly to the core of my being.  I read it this morning and thanked God that she was able to pen the words that have rumbled about in my spirit and mind but the words weren't building and crafting the thoughts and emotions I have felt so deeply in the past couple of weeks.   Then in the inbox this morning,here comes Ann Marie Miller with, Redefining Friendship. Several years ago I found myself overwhelmed and weary from trying to treat every friend the same as I do my closest friends.  Even Jesus didn't do that!  He had his three, then the disciples, the women, Mary, Martha, Lazarus and all the other followers.  Jesus spoke and experienced life on a deeper level with Peter, James and John.  Learning how to do this was life and energy changing.  We all have a lot of people we call friends and they call us friends as well...but we all know each one of us has a core group that we are not a part of with each other, but dang that doesn't stop us from having wonderful conversations and great times together.  Here is the link to her blog post.  For those who don't have time to read her post, here is a brief part of what she wrote.  OK, in my world the following is brief....

To me, the word friend has become as sacred as the word love. 
This is not an attempt for exclusivity; rather it's an attempt to define expectations. I have met Billy Bob and perhaps we've even shared a conversation about Africa or Jack Bauer. He's a great person. I will speak well of him. But I will not call him my friend because he does not know the secrets my heart keeps or the fears my mind perpetuates. I do not tell him when my mom is sick or when I got accepted into school nor does he know my regular drink at Starbucks.
I do have friends that know these things. They are a small group: humble, beautiful, diverse and there is nothing loud or proud about them. But they love and they know and they reach and I reach back.
And I think this is okay. Choosing to use the word friend carefully is wise.
It does not mean you love less or even that you love fewer and it does not mean a new acquaintance cannot become a friend. It simply means your relationships are more intentional, more vulnerable, and more committed. It reaches far beyond clicking a button on a website and is about sharing life instead of sharing a status.

Social media aside, a friend is a thing to cherish, to lavish love on, and to lean on (or sometimes give the gift of being somebody to lean on.)
Thursday dinner with Dena and Peggy, Roy and I had dinner with Emily and David Saturday, took Peggy to the airport Sunday and are you ready for this....had a home cooked meal Sunday evening at Dena's.  Lisa P and I talked and texted over the weekend about all kinds of subject matter from the sacred to the sucky.   I love doing life with these friends and I am so thankful for them.  Now if we could only get Malcolm and Lisa out here to Rancho De Five...it would be a perfect world in the burbs.  
These friends have been on the "let's find a house in Asheville" journey with me.  They've known the highs and the lows, the ifs and whens, and the sadness when any one of the homes we like goes off the market or is sold. The count is three, so it is not as high as 9 when we found our lot and builder finally.  Roy and I are having more and more House Hunter type conversations.  What will it be like once we are finally there and walking through the homes?  Yesterday at Willie G's we were talking about a particular home that is in the top part of our budget and if we did buy it, we would have to delay some of the remodeling to save up some bucks to do the extras.  What is strange is Roy and I have changed places.  He is all about, let's get it if it lives up to online pics and I am like...well...I don't know... the budget.  Our named budget like the one at our church is Mission (Psalm) 55:6-7
“Who will give me wings,” I ask—
    “wings like a dove?”
Get me out of here on dove wings;
    I want some peace and quiet.
I want a walk in the country,
    I want a cabin in the woods.
I’m desperate for a change
    from rage and stormy weather.
Yes, for once it is me talking budget.  That in itself is a miracle!  
Yes, thankful for the best hubby, the best close friends and Mission 55:6-7.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

The Letter, The Gift...The Bears

In 1973 when I received my acceptance letter from Baylor University I stepped outside and ran and cried at the good news, a dream come true.  Yesterday, when I read that I had been nominated and invited to be an Alumni By Choice from the Baylor University Alumni Association, I cried.  Oh I would have run but my running days are long gone in the distant past.  I sat in Sequisha right there at the neighborhood mailboxes and cried great big tears of happy.   I must have re-read that letter five times before moving on.  February 28, 2015 is the luncheon complete with a certificate presented by Baylor President Ken Star. Yes, I am totally aware this is a ceremonial thing but in my spirit the feeling of having something restored from forty one years ago that had been ripped away from me is a welcomed and very satisfied feeling.  I have cried more in the past few days than I have in a long time...happy joyful tears.

It is strange that I can't remember how and with whom I traveled to visit friends at Baylor while I was still in high school.   Back then I don't remember anyone making the formal visits to campuses like today but I was there on the Baylor campus taking it all in.  It felt so Ivy League to me, not that I would have even known what that was, but it just felt right.  Maybe I knew because the book and movie Love Story was so popular at the time.  The huge trees with limbs almost touching the ground, the red brick contrasted with white trim and green landscape...it was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever experienced.  A couple of times I visited my friend Lynnie and she lived in Russell when Russell was new and I visited her a couple of years later and she lived in Memorial.  I remember thinking if the chance to go to Baylor ever presented itself to me, I would never chose to live in an apartment, I would want to reside in those beautiful old dorm rooms and I didn't exactly think that cooking for myself was really worth the whole apartment thing.  Each trip to the campus a mandatory visit to the bookstore was paramount in my book and I returned home with t-shirts and spiral notebooks with the old school Baylor Bear on them.

I was late to the dance in making a decent GPA in high school but it rose significantly enough for acceptance to SWTSU now known as Texas State.  The plan, attend SWTSU my freshman year and make decent grades and then transfer to Baylor my sophomore year.  I didn't think my grades would be good enough to get in as a freshman at Baylor. I also planned to live in the freshman dorm at Baylor as a sophomore so I could have a true Baylor experience, a sense of belonging.  A sense of being a part of something steeped in tradition   So I began my college career and maintained a high B average, with which I then applied to Baylor and waited to see the outcome.  This is truly one time in my life I had clear cut goals and with them in front of me, working hard for good grades wasn't a chore, it was a joy knowing the prize that was set before me.  That letter from Alton B Lee, the registrar at Baylor, came bearing the great good news of acceptance. There came the running and the crying.  While home on spring break  I went to AstroWorld and interviewed for a summer job. Got the job and I was so excited to learn I was hired to run rides at the amusement park with the chance to work double shifts.  The way everything was falling into place just seemed to confirm God's will and pleasure.   I thought my hard work of getting a high B average and planning for a summer job with a great opportunity for overtime would get my father's attention and approval because I hadn't ever been this driven in my whole schooling career.   Summer came, I worked hard and worked double shifts at least 5 days a week and a regular shift on Sunday so I could go to church.  I saved over 90% of my earnings only spending money on gasoline and necessities.

Just like John 10:10 there is the abundant life plan and the plan the thief has, to kill, steal and destroy. A thief plan was being crafted and shaped during that time unknown to me. When  its presentation came, it came with unreasonable demands.   I was devastated.  All I will say here is it was mean spirited and hurtful meant to rip joy and hope right out of me and in doing this it gave great pleasure to the dream taker.  The future planned for me by my father was sparse, dismal and hopeless.   I had to write Baylor and my roommates and let them know I could not attend.  I finished working that summer at AstroWorld but I never worked a double shift after that.  I enrolled at U of H and didn't care.  I dropped out the spring semester of my junior year.

Any chance I ever had, I would go visit friends at Baylor thinking of what might have been.  When I dropped out of school, I got a full time office job and through a series of God ordained moments, went to work at Pennzoil and met the love of my life and married him.  Roy knew how much I had wanted to go to Baylor and told me he would send me there if I wanted to go but that season of life had come and gone.. I was married at the ripe old age of barely 23 (I thought that was so late to be married)   I still didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up.  So for forty one years I have gone to football games, worn Baylor t-shirts and told Roy my usual once a quarter Baylor dream I would have.   I lived all things Baylor through my Baylor alumni friends, rooted for all the teams, visited the campus every chance I got and finally after being so bitter about what had been stolen from me for too many years, came to a reckoning and acceptance.  I began looking at the good that had come out of not going to Baylor.  I would tell you about that, but previous blog post on Losing Your Treasure....thing.   Then I heard about Alumni By Choice.....

Tons of Baylor friends were excited and offered to help me and after many years of just talking about it, Peggy did something about it.  She filled out the paperwork and wrote a recommendation of why they should ABC me.  They included a portion of what she wrote in the letter they sent.  It is beautifully written and lovingly poignant.  I had totally forgotten about her filling out paperwork and writing a letter to the Alumni network until Thursday...at the mailboxes...in our neighborhood.  I called Roy who was in a meeting and left a message...  But in the midst of telling him, I started crying again and could barely talk.  I was even more happy because I just happened to be on my way to meet Peggy for dinner.  God's timing, what a gift!

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Dang, Just Lost That Treasure

My new workout contains recycling and up-cycling....take the 12 lbs of RH catalogs to the recycle container in the garage, then take them back into the house, place them on the floor and repeat workout.  It's like doing something good for me and the environment.  I'll repeat this till Tuesday when the recyclables go out for trash day.  

I was feeling a little down about the home we have been thinking about in Asheville going off the market.  Then our spirits revived when our Realtor told us it should go back onto the market once the current owners find a home where they are moving to...with one undecided buyer in the wings, we might still have a chance.  Then yesterday, other homes on our top ten list had price reductions....yahoo!  Only, I wish they could have waited to do so closer to the time we will be there.  Maybe the three other homes that has our attention will go down in price as well.  We were told that homes close in to the center of Asheville are selling at a good pace and the farther out, a slower pace.  Since we are not interested in being part of the scene in Asheville, that works well for us.  

This summer my attention has been drawn into reading Proverbs.  Proverbs is kind of like the OT version of a celebrity how to book, only you know, it is inspired by God not greed.  Because, uh Solomon was the richest and wisest person.  I believe Proverbs was on the best selling scroll list of the New Jerusalem Times back in the day.  The depth of the verses makes it difficult to pick a verse to really give it time and meditation because just when I have chosen the verse for the day, I continue reading and find another really good verse...then it is decision time.  These next two verses are not ones I chose to meditate upon but they got my attention:
"A person who promises a gift but doesn't give it is like clouds and wind that bring no rain." Pro 25:14

"Telling lies about others is as harmful as hitting them with an ax, wounding them with a sword, or shooting them with a sharp arrow." Pro 25:18  Wow Solomon....tell us how you really feel.  Hitting with an ax wasn't enough of a description?

But the verse that got my attention and apparently it has gotten my attention before because it is highlighted in Bible yellow marker, is:

"Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but a person is tested by being praised." Pro 27:21 NLT

    The purity of silver and gold is tested
    by putting them in the fire;
   The purity of human hearts is tested
    by giving them a little fame.  Pro 27:21 The Message

I know there are references in the Bible to being refined like silver and gold.  We kind of feel brave and oh so biblical when we reference our trying experiences as God's refining fire.  Of course this is true.  But here in Proverbs it is saying our refining thus purity is tested in being praised or flattered or having a little fame (Fame!  I'm gonna live forever....Fame!  Little song shout out to the 80's) thrown our way.  There is so much legacy talk going on now...guess it is the season of reflection with graduation and the like, but instead of talking about legacy so much why don't we just let the overflow of the abundant life be our legacy?  We don't have to talk about it, we just live it.  If God uses us that is so fabulous and even more fabulous when we don't even know about it as when we actively curry favor and approval of our legacy leaving antics.  When I played tennis one of the best ways your opponent would try to beat you before even stepping onto the court and playing was just this kind of thing....for example I had a pretty wicked forehand and a rather lethal serve and those opponents experienced in the way of sports psychology...getting into your head,  would compliment and praise your strengths in the game a little too much. I just thought of this, the term getting into some one's head would have a whole different meaning for a brain surgeon.  If you started believing the PR, you found yourself losing the match.  Others used the wow, that is a huge knee brace tactic, making you think about how much you hurt while they commended your bravery to just get out there on the court and try.  Boom, match lost.  If someone started talking about my strengths, I just walked away acting like I was preoccupied with my racquet or getting a drink of water.  When it came to the knee brace and asking how I hurt my knee I'd reply kicking an opponent when they made a bad line call.  That pretty much shut them up.  In church world, we see the same kind of thing.  You know, someone praises you, so you grab your most serious eyes closed, head shaking, point to the Lord look.  Stop it!  Or another posture is after being praised, your next sentence starts with, 'you know... I was....' and you complete the sentence with your most holy accepting praise look with a head tilt.  Stop It!  I mean we have all done both of those things...whether in truth or in jest...so just keep it in mind, be thankful for that refining fire of praise and don't lose your treasure in heaven with a bad response.  

You'll thank me in heaven....dang, just lost that treasure! 

Nancy's Monablog