Flourishing In The Courts of the Lord and In The World of Assisted Hearing Devices

  The godly grow like a palm tree; they grow high like a cedar in Lebanon.

13 Planted in the Lord’s house, they grow in the courts of our God. 14 They bear fruit even when they are old; they are filled with vitality and have many leaves. 15 So they proclaim that the Lord, my Protector, is just and never unfair. Psalm 92: 13-15

I have been thinking about this verse since the beginning of March. Flourishing in the courts of our God. Lots of word studies have been done and Bible studies written about flourishing. What I saw as flourishing several years ago is not how I look at it today. Takes a whole nother meaning. What I might have considered non flourish type things are usually delegated to youth and not knowledgeable about a situation. With these thoughts in mind, this week I did what seemed too far gone previously, I got an assisted listening device, otherwise known from the distant past as a hearing aid.  It has gotten to the point where I am missing a lot of words in conversations and trying to listen to the TV at a decent decibel range. Roy and I seem to have the same reaction when talked to at a distance...what? Pardon, I'm sorry, didn't hear you. Now, don't laugh but I knew on my insides that I was growing quieter and more inward because of the lack of hearing soft noise or high decibel. I remembered my mom, she had difficulty hearing but never got a hearing aid to help her. I think that might have helped the dementia come on sooner for her. On Monday, I had a visit with our new doctor and I mentioned the ringing in my ears and losing out on what is being said. She checked my ears for cerumen, fancy term for ear wax. I know at choir when our director talked softer, I totally didn't comprehend one word, at all. The Dr asked if I would like to get that checked out, yes but I really was hesitant cause I didn't want to go to Sam's and have a hearing test. The Dr made a referral to the audiologist office on the first floor of what we now call our medical center. That office called me on Tuesday and got me in on Wednesday. Long story short, hearing loss more in my right ear than the left. I had hearing loss from a virus in my early thirties. The last hearing test I had was part of the interview process at Pennzoil, oh say back in 1975. Cramped little booth but it is not like that today. These devices are not your grandmother's hearing aid. Wow! Now, if I can get past my nervousness in putting them in and taking them out, it will all be good. 

I am learning quite a bit about these assisted hearing devices and over the past couple of days gotten better or at least a little more relaxed with them. Today, I go see the assistant who will teach me how to blue tooth the phone and TV. My brain is getting all that new information to process so it must be working cause a lot of the fuzz and stuff has simmered down. 

So this week I feel like my hearing is flourishing and somehow my balance seems a tad better. I walked four laps around the church parking lot yesterday morning. It was so good to hear every word of the sermon and conversations with friends afterwards. The best, when Roy is saying something from across the house I can distinguish his words. The Dr said last Wednesday, some people need to take time to contemplate that step into the assisted hearing device, but I want to hear. Ain't no thing that it makes me look older, newsflash, I am older. These things come in different colors so mine match my dark hair with gray highlights. 

Senescence Is Just A Fancy Word For Old

 In 2015 the packers were at the house, getting for the big, partial move to NC. Those guys worked hard. Peggy came over to supervise the move. Gee, she kept putting things back. She was not too happy about the move. 

The beginning of the wonderful adventure of living in the mountains. God led us, walked beside us and pushed us just a bit, but Roy and I survived being in separate states until he retired. So thankful for all the PTO he had. Many times he left the office and went straight to the airport. He brought a backpack, that is all because he had clothes here. Best way to travel. 

Today, I am feeling like that adventuresome person on the inside but on the outside these past few days I have felt old, elderly, a senior citizen, geezer, there are so many. AI told me that these are some names for the seasoned people of life:

Common synonyms for aging include maturing, growing old, senescence, and declining. It describes the process of becoming older, advancing in years, or showing the effects of increased age. Other terms include graying, mellowing, and developing

This has come to light due to a doctor appointment. We changed doctors and we now go to what Roy and I call Our Med Center on Vanderbilt Park. The drive to Hendersonville with all the upcoming construction played a part in our decision. When the opening came up for this particular practice, we said yes. I think I truly answered questions like an old person yesterday. She had my records and we discussed meds and procedures and all that stuff. I chose a vintage blouse and maybe instead of being cute and with it, I looked old and nostalgic. Ugh! Because she doesn't know anything about how I got to this particular season of life, I had to refer to those times being an athlete, although I know I do not look like someone who worked out all the time. Believe me, I do not live in the past, I just sounded like it yesterday. In the true spirit of being older than Moses, I have an appointment with an audiologist cause I can't hear squat! So, this morning talking with the scheduler, I think, I know I talked like an elderly rambling brained idiot. What she and the doctor don't know is, I have said the same stuff all my life, but what you said at 40 doesn't play well in the 70s season of life. Hopefully, I do better today at the audiologist office. I think asking for them to email the paperwork might have bumped me up a bit. 

Weather or Whether, That is The Question

 My buddies, the cats, are sitting nearby with laser light focus on my phone. Cause when the phone and the sun combine in just the right way, I'm sure there is some kind of math involved but I am non practicing, there will be refracted light to chase. Sometimes when the sun hits the phone I get duel refractions and that keeps everyone busy. 

We have had a lovely two days of warm temps and maybe one more tomorrow and then the cold hits the fan. Some are forecasting accumulation snow but we shall see. So many trees and plants have bloomed out and this cold blast could affect peach crops this summer. After two good peach years, you hate to see it happen. Also strawberries. Oh my goodness. 

After the brief storm on this Monday morning the kitties are coming out from under the beds, finally. A tornado warning issued for Madison County and Avery County is not a usual thing. It doesn't look like none touched down but reading some accounts of the storm complete with wind and hail, sounds too scary for me. Ah, the memories of my first thunderstorm here eleven years ago and being a little higher in the atmosphere than fifty feet above sea level in Texas. Lightning felt much closer and thunder rattled your insides a little more. We have an iron bed here and we had one in Texas as well. I always thought about this unrealistic fear, that our metal beds would draw lightning. So, that first storm here, lightning hit in what was then an empty pasture but it felt like it was lightning knocking on the front door. I jumped out of bed and believe you me, my jumping days had been over for a long time and ran downstairs. Running days over too. Buddy, my BCFE, best cat friend ever, right behind me. Somehow, I have always thought our family has a propensity toward being struck by lightning. Tall for one thing but my grandfather was struck by lightning as a young man plowing a field. His rubber boots saved him. He told me whenever there was a lightning storm his leg would hurt. Years and years ago on N Post Oak Lane, I was walking Tiff the wonder dog and hour or so after a storm. Walking under some lovely trees suddenly a big flash, like a ball hit the ground and then thunder. It knocked Tiff and me back a few feet and we struggled to right ourselves on the ground. A man in a car stopped and asked it we were alright. Yes, a little shaken but not stirred. He was shocked and I was shocked, even Tiff shocked but in wonder what was that instead of being is shock because of the lightning hitting us. 

We had a tornado warning this morning, heavy rain, snow and now the sun is shinning. This truly has been a weather day. 

This morning I looked through FB memories and this came up from my blog. This was in back in 2011. Roy was taking a photography class and looking for photo competition ideas. Brought a little laugh this morning. We were both so scared when it happened. As good of a picture that this would be, a chapel in the front of the prison surrounded by fences with razor wire on top. 

Saturday, Roy and I went out for breakfast and then hit the road for a day trip to Huntsville.  He has class most Saturdays and since it is spring break, we decided we needed a little get away.  We ate a late lunch at the Farmhouse, shopped, he took pictures and then we decided to take the back roads to Madisonville and of course pay homage to all things Buc-cess.  There was a small blip on our pilgrimage.  Roy wanted to take a picture of a prison chapel that was surrounded by fence and razor barbed wire.  I'm thinking there has to be a reason there are no parking signs all up and down that road in front of the prison.  Long story short, Roy was swarmed by three prison guards on foot and a guard in a car pulled in front of Sequisha so I couldn't drive away.  Roy had to delete the pictures, they recorded his TDL and our license plate.  They escorted him back to our car and gave me a dirty look.  Here's the deal, you can't take pictures of prisons.  I asked Roy didn't they teach this in law school?  He said no and I plan to ask for a tuition refund.  Roy is none the worse for wear, but my blood pressure spiked and I had the worst headache for the rest of the day.  Johnny Cash songs were playing in my head and I thought about all the Lock Down shows I've watched while everything was going down.  Ultimately, Buc-cees was not quite as much fun as it would have been before the photography incident. 

Foggy and Fog

This is a warning, not for the faint of heart or for those whose patience can be tried with stream of consciousness ADHD thoughts. The past few weeks have held it all but not my attention span for very long. No surprise, so who knows how it will go or just maybe a steam line of thoughts will play out in a consistent and logical basis. I am chuckling to myself. 

I have learned from an article on fashion that MC Hammer pants are coming back in style. I saw some examples in a Anthropology email. Not to be forgotten in nostalgia, I also saw that stirrup stretch pants will be in style this summer. Talk about pants at the opposite ends of the fashion spectrum.  

This week included Dr and Dentist appointments. Time for the mole patrol with the dermatologist. Two freezes on my face and a biopsy on my arm. Drat that baby oil with iodine days of high school! The wait is not bad at all because they run on time. At first we older types filled the waiting room but I must say, the conversation between two older women is the best I have heard on the state of weather in a long time. These strangers became BWF, best weather friends,  in a matter of seconds. They read to each other the low and high temps for the next week but they used different weather apps for comparison. The weather fun stopped when one was called back behind the golden door. The woman left behind looked for another patient with weather on their mind but we all looked down at our phones. 

Roy and I have decided to try and go out to eat once a week or at least once every two weeks. Not a hard or fast rule but we are in a rut of eating at home. Who ever thought I would write that? Not me, for sure. We have some options that we like and several new places to try. 

We now come to that difficult season, feels like spring but too soon to wear spring clothes. Next week a little bit of winter returns but those heavy wools just don't fit into March seasonal wear. I am better prepared for late summer into fall. Along with MC Hammer pants and stirrup skinny pants comes the "new" colors for spring and summer. Lots and lots of neutrals. This seems across the board from most of the stores or labels I buy. Funny, used to be a big Flax person, still somewhat. When I was a tourist here I went into a store in the lovely Biltmore Village. They had carried Flax previously and couldn't find any. She said she quit carrying Flax because the styles never changed, the colors rather pedestrian, and since Flax is made to last, why buy one more item of clothing that you have lots of in your closet. Made sense and although I still purchased Flax clothes that thought lingered. It influenced me and now that Flax has gone online only, it is helpful to not run into it at stores. J Jill still interests me and a few other brands as well. I was thinking the other day about furniture phases...went from cheap-o, to Eddie Bauer's (when they sold furniture), Basset, Crate and Barrel and Pottery Barn. Have a lovely mixture now.

It is now Sunday and the work I did yesterday moving some boxes etc... caught up with me this morning. My lower back was tight and I surely was feeling it. Continued getting ready but had to make the decision to call or text in that I would be missing in action this morning. I put some stuff on my back and got out the heating pad and slept for two hours. Feeling better but I'll be hitting the heating pad in just a little bit. 

So today is International Women's Day or something. Wasn't it just International Cat Day? I cannot keep up with these made up days. I thought today was my back hurts, so I didn't make it to church day when I really wanted to make it. I went to bed early on Daylight Savings Time Eve and I had one rosemary cracker to celebrate National Rosemary Spice Day. Roy celebrated International Women's Day by making a cup of hot tea for me and he stirred it with a fork. I had to do my National Make Sure They Aren't Experiencing Dementia Day by asking did he know he gave me a fork. Yes, he knows because he used it to get the crystalized honey out of the bottle. Tomorrow is I Will Not Let Roy Forget He Made An Early Morning Eye appointment on the first Monday after Daylight Savings Time. Ugh! 

We celebrated the First Monday of Daylight Savings Time in the dark, on back roads, and freeways. To add to the general malaise of losing an hour, we battle fog. Oh my, this fog was worse than August morning fogs here in the mountains. Roy said it was a London fog, thick and cold. He had the best description going. Not only heavy fog in the country it was also heavy fog in the city. Truly it was a battle especially on our back roads that always carry the threat of deer crossing the road.  After Roy's appointment we drove through still heavy fog to The Moose Cafe for breakfast. It was delicious as always. Even at 9:30 when we left the moose, you guessed it heavy fog. We decided to punt on going to Barnes and Noble and returned home, in heavy fog. Finally around 11:00 it lifted but that one strange morning and being on point watching all elements is exhausting. 

Looks like my ADHD didn't command too much of a take over on the blog post. 

Glad, Happy, Joyful

 Wednesday evening as we left the choir room and stepped outside, if we slowed for just a moment, there a choir of birds sat in the tree across from the church spilling their hearts out with songs they have sung all their lives. Maybe they were responding to our songs we practiced and sang because the choir had an exceptional night of picking up the new at least for this time around music of the Easter season. I stopped and listened to those delightful notes from those songsters across the way. They even added some choreography for the fun of it. Even here at the house the notes from birds has increased. The birds return as The Feral Fam decreases. 

Enjoyed my first book club meeting although I didn't like the book we read so much. The group all expressed mixed feelings but after discussion I liked it better. I used Good Reads for reviews to give me the pertinent info. One note of what we all picked up on, the mindset, guidelines, nay I say rules put on the 1950 through the early 1960s for women. When we discussed that we all had strong opinions on those rules and how they were typically enforced then reinforced. When I was a kid I worried about the getting my hair curled and fluffed and lacquered with hairspray once a week. I couldn't even think about it cause although I have spent a lifetime worried about my hair, I don't like to give hours and hours toward it. Really, we all know someone who has held onto those scripts from yesteryear and they don't hold much happiness to those who partake. They are required or so it seems to been seen a certain way, respond a certain way and keep those confining scripts in tact. Surely, they will come back in style. We talked about our next selection and we are going to read The Extraordinary Deaths of Mrs. Kip. I just finished it and was my recommendation. Just realized that Mrs. Kip lived life during those same times but countered all of them by living a full, meaningful and at times somewhat difficult life. 

I missed Bible study but my signs unto me were popping up and I know when that happens to take it easy. So, that's what I did. 

We had very few snowflakes on our way to church on Sunday but it was really, really cold! Roy's UGG boots I ordered for him arrived on Saturday so he was able to wear those to church to keep his toes nice and warm. We get to go back into the congregation after the choir sings our anthem. So that is such a nice thing to add to the service. Love sitting with Roy for many reasons but one is, he keeps up with the note taking and I can grab a glance now and then to keep up. 

This cold snap has the best of both worlds. It is a short snap and the snow that fell didn't really stick. The roads were a problem until they were sanded or salted. I sat in our front bedroom and watched the snow whirling and dancing down to earth yesterday afternoon. I also finished reading The Correspondent. I really liked it and reminded me of my friend Beth. We have known each other since the 6th grade and once we graduated from high school our lives were on different paths but we wrote to each other earnestly and faithfully. We discussed many  issues, joys, problems and things that were difficult to understand. I kept all those letters and only culled through them when moving. Now, we don't keep in touch that often but I know we could pick up right where we left off. 

Last night after choir, I didn't stop to listen for the birds. That's okay other good happenings were going on in those few minutes from the door to the car. Choir practice felt hard last night but that is due to the fact I don't sight read and depend on hearing notes. With several new to me songs I listened more than sang. Also, the voice was raspy and the notes, high. The whole raspy voice thing has to do with tiredness and heart issues. Just like a sore throat is a sign unto me, I am pushing it and it would be for the best to step back inside those parameters. 

We are happy that LSU WBB won against Tenn last night. I was glad to talk with Peggy for about an hour last night. Serious conversation with more silliness conversations being in the majority. I am joyful over our study of Mark 13 yesterday at Bible study. 

Procrastination

Today, is one of those days that I take the time to remember. Recent events and some so very far in the past. Yesterday, I did something I usually do not do, I watched several hours of TV. The combo of LSU Baseball and Seinfeld reruns. I watch in snippets not having the attention span for several hours. 

I had seen on FB that the baseball fields in Westbury Little League were dedicating plaques and such for the 1966 Westbury Little League team that won the LLWS. One of the boys on the team lived next door and another one lived around the corner. The boy next door is a Dr, Chiropractor, and I think he still has a practice although he is probably in his early seventies. As I looked through the pictures I saw names of boys who I had gone to elementary school with. Growing up next door to one of the boys was not easy. My father was always at odds with them over using our front yard as part of a football field. My mother was jealous of the mom who lived there. Beautiful and very thin. If my father talked to her or talked about her, my mom was not too happy over that. It seems to me that the father might have been an alcoholic but memory does not serve me there. It also seems that were problems between the next door mom and dad, but I was too young to know. My goal was to keep out of sight and away from any confrontations with the two sons. They always had water balloons. Ugh! As I looked at the pics from the weekend it led me to looking up the obituaries of the mom, dad and daughter. I don't remember them being particularly religious and it was evident in the obituaries. Suddenly, the people who had been the bane of existence in childhood felt like a heavy load. I don't remember inviting them to church, they would probably bring water balloons 😇. Even after being in high school and no longer nervous over a surprise sprinkling or deluge, no longer running in the same circle of friends, my father put up a hedge between the houses. I just looked up the address and that hedge is still there but not serving in the original purpose. Another thing I noticed with the pics and comments from long ago neighbors, some still run with a lot of bitterness. Some thought it was a high school reunion type thing that only the popular kids got invited to. Several years ago I posted some volleyball pics from back in my senior year and a long time schoolmate took umbrage with me that she didn't play in games and had to do scrub team work but I wouldn't know about that cause I played. I responded to her comment that I never felt secure in my position with the team because the coach didn't like me and she appealed to another girl on the team to lose weight to be able to take my place. I did dress out and was on varsity all three years, but I didn't know from year to year what my status would be. I did know in high school my status was not cool kid and I got over the desire to aspire to that "high calling" rather early in life. Happily even now living as a nerd with traits of dorkiness. 

With a false spring week we are taking advantage. Got the water filter cleaned and little things here and there that have needed attention are getting attention. Roy got the last of the remnants from the weeklong stay from some of those who took advantage of the Inn on the Catmore Estate. Roy loaded up the truck with stuff for Habitat and a little later I'll do some sweeping up on the back porch.  

We had a choir party on the 8th after church at the pastor's home. It was great! Last Friday The Travelers group from church went to Pig and Grits in Burnsville, one of our favorite restaurants. WE enjoyed lunching with friends. Roy and I made a quick visit to The Find. Always such fun to look at everything. While I am not actively trying to acquire things I did see a couple of tempting sheep things. I have enough. I find myself in a vase, candle and tapers season. 

I am de-crystalizing honey this afternoon. I have joined Roy in a hot tea season and using honey, local honey as a sweetener. Some of it has crystalized so finding out microwaving would lose nutrients and such, I am doing the warm water bath on the honey. Making progress. Roy has gone to his first appointment with our new doctor. Roy put us on a waiting list in August and we did a meet and greet last Monday. We've filled out all the paperwork for the process. I asked for an appointment in March cause I want to get some of the weight I gained over the holidays lost.  Just heard from Roy and he is really pleased with the doctor and staff. Yay! 

This morning, well actually I knew last night, I was getting all the "let this be a sign unto you, Nancy" to step back and rest. I missed Bible study this morning but it is always about keeping in my parameters. So, it has been a laid back day. Did get a few things done. I miss studying together but book group will be fun. 

This has taken some time to finally get ready to be posted. Sometimes when I write about those long ago times that were pretty darn tough to maneuver through I think about a whole bunch of stuff. One thing is, in junior high school, That says enough right there, but every once in a while my father would tell me to go over to this neighbor girl's home. Ha, he said he was worried I would never make friends yet he devoted a lot of time trying to usurp any confidence that I had to make friends. Lots of times I'd just go outside for a while cause even though that neighborhood girl that went to school with me was the biggest drug dealer at school. Her nerdy looks covered for her. Now if she dressed like a hippie they would have taken care of that in a heartbeat. I can't even remember her name, maybe Linda or something but they finally figured out she was the one dealing the drugs. 

While Searching for Sweatpants

 When those winter storms arrive and leave, then a little bitty snow and ice come back for the brief visit, when Bible study is cancelled and one doesn't really want to clean baseboards and such, you find some namby pamby project. Today, I searched for another pair of sweatpants but I remember a couple of years ago I gave them to Goodwill cause it was never cold enough to wear them. I was hoping to find at least one more pair in a chest of drawers we only use for putting the TV on in the bonus room. Nope but I found a mesh storage bag that holds a lot of memories. 

Back in 2014 Roy gave me a month in Asheville for my birthday and it was also time to look for a home to purchase. In all the joy I experienced that month hunting for homes, using my pass to Biltmore and sight seeing throughout the area, there was a bit of trembling, not a chaotic storm brewing until overflow, but my father threatening me to come right now to pick up around eight boxes of things my mom wanted me to have as well as somethings that were mine from childhood. He sent threatening letters and threats to our home in Houston. Now in hindsight because of the "flying monkey" I see he knew I wasn't in Houston, thus the all out all hands on deck attack. He mentioned the plates my mom had promised me and that was the hook. When we were served  with documents severing the relationship with him in 2012, we took him at his word and acted thusly. He tried multiple times to get us to interact with him again. No, my chains were gone, I'd been set free. We had friends who volunteered to get the boxes but after returning back to Houston, I met a friend of his at a shopping mall parking lot. A lot of a mall that almost abandoned. No attention grabbing of course. She in a Jaguar and I in a Toyota Sequoia. She gave me the boxes. I opened the boxes in the garage once I got home and I'm so glad because for the most part those boxes were filled with garbage, odds and ends and boxes they didn't unpack when my parents moved back to Houston from Georgetown. No plates because he had given them to my brother.(my brother gave them to me later) I cried some hard tears and then I was mad that he had gotten me like that. Although, in the midst of these boxes were some important papers concerning my mom but there were important memories with my mom and my grandmother. That is what I stumbled upon yesterday while looking for sweatpants. 

My grandparents served at Mound Chapel for many years. My mom grew up in that church. My grandfather was the superintendent of Sunday School for many years in the 1940-1950's. On a whim, I Googled up the church and it is still there and still serving, although an older congregation. A woman made a comment on one of the pictures about growing up there and she referred to someone by the name of Corky. My mom had a friend named Corky. I messaged the lady and she responded. Wrong Corky but she knew my mom from church. Wow! We exchanged a few pleasantries but like me has moved away from the area of that long ago time. She remembered my grandmother too and she loved her. How could you not? My grandma was one of the best!  

I wrote down yesterday afternoon the times these battles and assaults happened and now so obvious, he was getting information from the flying monkey. He once said to my brother, the flying monkey was his best customer. 

We are still in our WWII mindset here. Not us fighting like WWII but watching documentaries. We watched a couple at lunch time and we made delicious fajitas. 

It is a very cold day and the wind chills are fierce. We have a warm up week ahead and for this we are thankful. Looks like nothing weather wise will impede getting to go to church. 

RoyNan of the Cold

 Well, it is a surprise to see it snowing on this very cold Sunday morning. The flakes are small and the ever so often gusts create quite the stir of snow from fir trees and roofs. This has been an unusual storm and cannot recall in the recent past for this rather consistent snow fall. You can barely see the road out front even after snow plows slightly cleared a path. Seems to be a salt shortage throughout the state and it is reserved for emergency situations. I don't think cabin fever is an emergency to the EMS or sheriffs. I don't have cabin fever but looking at social media cabin fever is catching and the cures for it are closed due to the snow and ice. It's a dangerous circle. The sun has broken through and it is a joy to welcome the sun back. It will melt some of the snow. We don't get above freezing today and it will form as ice when the sun goes down. 

The Boys and The Siblings must have cabin fever. A couple of normal cat relationships are on thin ice...ha! It is mainly Chubola and she has been stalking her long time cousin GMoey and he happens to be the alpha cat. The past few days it has been a bit fragile and hissing is involved. All six are asleep as well as the head cat herder, Roy. He and I stayed up in shifts last night. Our upstairs HVAC is sub par to say the least. We should have changed it out before he retired. It runs and never shuts off and goes into emergency heat setting way too much. So after experimenting with a couple of space heaters strategically placed, one in the bonus room and the other at the opposite end of the hall. We do not feel comfortable about going to sleep with them on. Roy took the first watch. I relieved him at 1:00 am and then he replaced me at 4:00. With the low of 5 degrees and dripping faucets and running the dishwasher at 1:30am, we made it through a very cold night. 

During my overnight shift I finished The Extraordinary Deaths of Mrs. Kip. I've written before that I don't usually read Christian fiction, cause that seems like an oxymoron but this was a very good and engaging read. There is a lot of reasons why I loved this story but one thing that stood out is, the ending wasn't put in a box with a happy red bow on top. The story resolves of course but there are several lives we come to know and we don't quite know the end their end result. Great use of sentence prayers in the character's lives and dying to ourselves daily. One week, the end of life for Mrs. Kip and how her influence even there in hospice was used by the Lord. A couple of times I had to stop because the thoughts of my mom came rushing in and where my father put my mother for those last few hours verses where he passed under luxurious hospice care. I also remembered my last time I saw her, so fragile and translucent. I sat there and told her what a wonderful mother she had been, reminded her of a few funny stories and when I kissed her on her cheek, she puckered her lips and made kissing noises. I will not describe the conditions he left her in but I will say the room she was in was like a group passing thing. It was horrible for all the families involved but he could have chosen better. He could afford it ten times over and still have that loot he had treasured. No, he loved money more than he loved her. 

There is a therapist and author on social media, I've mentioned before, that puts these unthinkable situations one endures with a narcissist in perspective. One piece she has put into place for me is the dominant narcissist needing a flying monkey. The flying monkey is usually the heir apparent to keep abuse going to and for the next generation. Until recently, I had not known about the role of the flying monkey. I have a revised point of view on the April-ish 2024 thing and the end results of choices and decisions being made. The flying monkey has info sourced from my father that are blatantly lies and bits and pieces of stories he fashioned together to match his narrative of lies and fascinating foolery, that is to the uninformed. So, the flying monkey was paid to keep an ongoing legacy going. I will say once again, I don't care. They all worked for their money and I didn't have to and my reward, peace of mind and peace of heart. Truly, a gift from the Lord. In reading the book, Mrs. Kip, original thought here, it helped me process through those things with answers that make sense to all that happened in 2024. I'm at rest with it and have peace therefore there is the joy in that I will never have to talk to the flying monkey again.

We did another night shift thing Sunday into Monday morning. I started the book club February choice, The Mad Wife. I'm just getting into it. 

We lost power this morning and the Duke crew hope to have everything up and running by 11:00 am. A little over a thousand are affected. At 11:07, we were back in business. It would be nice if we could have a little more sun to warm things up. Then melt, then refreeze tonight. It doesn't look like we are going to get above 32 today. Tomorrow brings hope of more of a thaw. 

Snow Day!

 With the roads dry enough the sights and sounds of our busy road are back. As both Roy and I were up early this morning, we saw lots of firetruck and police lights on the corner around 4:30 am. With the temps being so low last night we wanted to make sure everything temp and water pipe wise were going well. I see naps in our future because we checked on things in shifts. We are finally above freezing and it is nearly two in the afternoon. Oh, I hate to see our electric bill these next two cycles. 

I am into the ballet this afternoon on Reels. My goodness, so beautiful. My friend Marti was a dancer in the George Balanchine company in NYC. Over the years I have been to a couple of ballets with her and her description of the work and all the creativity of dance mesmerized me. Our friend Jennifer bid on tickets to Swan Lake complete with dinner and she won. Four of us went to see Swan Lake. We sat in a side box with a serving area behind the curtain. We ate, pulled the curtain to sit in the seats and at intermission we went back to the serving area for dessert and coffee. We had our own bathroom and we lacked for nothing. It was my first time to go to a ballet other than recitals at a dance school. My first experience ruined me to ever want to go by just purchasing a ticket. My time as a trained dancer was very short because I didn't have the attention span to learn along with the details that are required but that same short attention span got hyper focused when it came to softball or volleyball. We each have our talents and interests. But after one hangs up ballet shoes or softball cleats, we still have the aches and pains from giving our chosen endeavor all we could. 

The don't expect too much storm this weekend forecast has changed and we might have a good amount with freezing temps in place. I've had to wear my heavy winter coats the past few days. It has been awhile since those have been taken out of the closet. Yesterday, we took both vehicles into Weaverville to shop. Then Roy went home and I went to choir practice. The store was crowded but everyone treated others with some patience. We are all there for the same thing, to restock and get ready for the next storm. I went back today after Bible study. We needed another container of chicken salad as well as more pineapple. The store was crowded but everyone was on their best behavior. All the stuff we needed was on the first two aisles and a checkout opened just as I turned the corner. So, it wasn't stressful. 

I just saw that Catharine O'Hara passed away today. She was 71. Most know her from Home Alone or Schitt"s Creek but Roy and I watched her on SCTV in the early 80's. Being much younger then we would watch SNL and then SCTV and still get up early and go to church. Her characters were so over the top and I loved how she delivered her lines. I remember my favorites being teaching English as a second language and her many characters on game shows. Wow! This is a shocker. She is already missed by so many and watching some of the clips more poignant. 

******

Snow! Snow Day! Snow this morning and tapering off this afternoon. We do not get above freezing until Monday sometime. It's beautiful to watch this morning. Thinking of going upstairs to get that view. I've seen only one truck on the road this morning. Road...that can't be seen. No snow plows or anything on major and secondary roads. Might be waiting for the snow to be over. We did see a snow plow earlier but the work was in vain cause the road is covered again. It is so quiet outdoors when it snows. One lone  ATV passes by occasionally and the kids one house over have been sledding down their driveway. 

Officially, no church tomorrow.  The temps will be brutal on top of everything else. This is one of those storms that people will talk about in the future. Surely the biggest one I have been in since moving here. 

The Day After the Storm

 This morning the update is slick roads with an icy sheen. About an hour ago a car slid off on our side the road. Good thing it wasn't the other because there is a drop off. The guy finally got his car righted and slowly proceeded. Hope he has a good reason and a clean pair of underwear for whenever he arrives. From the general consensus of all the weather forecasts seem to indicate we had more sleet than frozen rain. Some say we will have another round later in the morning but who knows who we are to believe. We are thrilled that we haven't had too much frozen rain but others are upset at the weather people. The big picture is, it could have been a lot worse and people would be upset if the forecasters said, no big deal. That kind of happened for Helene. Our neighbor above us texted me a little bit ago and the text was cleverly designed as a check on your elderly neighbors text. Don't mind that one bit and we usually have a few laughs along the way. This morning was no exception. We both decided reading took precedence over cleaning baseboards and such. I am also trying to stay out of the kitchen where most accidents happen in the home. Hey, for safety reasons. 

Our pot roast in the slow cooker was delicious and I am sure it will be delicious for lunch today, too. I used the Kinder Pot Roast spices this time but still use ale for part of the flavoring process. Included lots of carrots. 

It has been a while since reading two good, interesting books in a row. Family of Spies, off the chart good and now I am reading fiction and at the other end of the spectrum from spying. Of course the title alludes me right now and I'd have to go upstairs to find the book. Probably I would pick it up and start reading then go onto something else totally forgetting to return to the computer and report the title. Such is life with an ADHD brain. This January I have been reading a lot about my brain and yes, I do have one. It's probably upstairs with my book. There are a lot of good qualities that outweigh procrastination and not much of an attention span when it comes to things one doesn't really love. 

We are above freezing with still some sleet coming down at times. Roy is prepping just in case the FCC truck comes to pick up the trash tomorrow. No official word but the county schools have already released the statement, no school tomorrow. The next two days hold wind and single digit temps. I've seen several reels showing tree limbs snapping from the ice in Middle Tenn. Well, just looked up the official word for trash, on a one day delay cause the landfill won't be open tomorrow. When ice and snow are on the scene the world gets so quiet. Life slows down. The three to four hour window of reprieve gets the restless or the shoppers out on the road. 

Now it is Monday morning, the morning after the weekend. A gentle snow is falling with the sun trying to peek through the overcast sky. Think the high today is in the 20's. Most everything that can close, has closed for the day. Our area north of the city didn't see as much ice as others. We mainly had sleet. The pictures of damage in Oxford MS and Nashville TN is devastating. Our gentle snow is still falling but the sun is keeping it in check. 

Calm Before the Storm

 It is the calm before the storm. Preparation time. Go out and take care of things before the ice storm Fern makes her appearance. I will add this Fern to the Ferns I have known in life. At our condos there was a group of older women that spent every waking sunlight hour sitting by the pool. I was much younger back then and went out a couple of times but Fern kind of camped out at the pool to corner you in conversation. Not random either, she had picked her topic and most of the times her topics weren't that interesting to me. What was funny is the ladies reading their spicy books while they tanned and I could always tell when there were reading a "hot" page cause their feet were moving ninety to nothing. The other Fern I can remember is Miss Fern from the movie The Bad Seed. We put an offer in on a house near Balsam Mountain, thank you Lord someone outbid us, and the road the house is on, Fern Trail. Now Fern the ice storm is traveling across the country. 

This morning we went to Publix not to panic buy but to do our regular pickups for the weekend. Fruit, chicken salad, bakery bread as per usual and cat food. The only thing we bought that is different, a couple of gallons of spring water. We got there a little after 9:00 and shelves were restocked and checkout lines regular like. After we checked out and started putting things in the car, the parking lot was going a bit crazy as it was near 10:00 am. 

For lunch today I had Southern Baked Pie's tomato pie, mini version and it was very good. Delicious! I will order again. We got the petite apple pie with salted caramel as well. I took a couple of bites...oh my goodness, so good. 

It is now Saturday and I just finished up the leftover tomato pie, think little chicken pot pie size, and a couple of bites of the apple pie. The choices when I bake the rest, taco, roast beef and chicken. Have a pot roast in the slow cooker and snacks for ice storms. Nah, it's just the regular snacks we keep around the house.

So now, we sit and wait. Prepare and then hope. I love that the Lord has experience in storms of various kinds. So, it's good to trust Him with this. 

Pressing On

 It seems we don't have too many all day rain events here. Houston, oh yes and that could include several days of end on end raining ranging from misty to torrential. Most of the heavier rain went south of us so gentle showers are doing the job. We both have taken it easy today. Well, Roy is doing our taxes so I guess that doesn't count as easy, but a relaxed schedule. We are thankful it isn't me doing the taxes. World without end, amen. 

We've been Presbyterians for a little over a month and we are enjoying this journey. I know old school isn't for everyone but we have settled into it nicely. Roy started last week attending the men's Bible study and I've been attending the women's Bible study since the fall, the season not Adam and Eve time. Along with choir there are more opportunities for social interaction. Last week I read an article about slowing down verses shutting down. Interesting and I think this change is just what we needed. I was talking with a friend from Houston about this article and after having some trouble articulating my interpretation I gave her an example from this summer. It fit and said it all. 

Now it is Monday morning. A very cold one at that. We opened the Inn on the Catmore Estate last night and several took advantage but the innkeeper, Roy, is pushing everyone out at 11:00 or there abouts. It should be above freezing and besides the sun is out and there is play time to be had. 

We were on our way to church yesterday and the Mustang gave us a bit of an issue. We decided to turn around and get the truck but when we arrived home, the snow was so heavy that Roy was a bit iffy about going. I really wanted to be at church for many reasons but one is the choir anthem we were singing. It is one of my favorites. I texted two choir members to let them know of the situation. It's ironic because since 2010 or so I have not gone to big church in January on the advice of a Houston cardiologist. He knew because he said Baptists go to church sick most of the time. I would tend to agree with that. Now in January this year, I want to be in big church.  

*****

Thursday morning, below freezing and some snow on the ground. It doesn't look like our road has been salted or sanded. That means that even work trucks are driving slow this morning. The sun is out but we don't get above freezing today. Just got the text and email that Bible study is cancelled this morning. In part I'm glad cause of the roads but sad because the discussion is lively and we gain so many insights from one another. It is one of the best groups I've been apart of. We enjoy our friendship with the Word of God leading the way. 

Things I'm liking these days

My clearance jammies I bought at Sam's. Only had gray left so I ordered two pairs and I am so glad I did. Comfy and all that comfort for only $7.98 a pair. Here is something unusual, they are Lord and Taylor brand. Someone must have bought the name cause there hasn't been a Lord and Taylor for quite sometime. Loved shopping at the one in The Galleria. 

Rowe Casa Tart Cherry. Really helping me sleep through the night. Truthfully, I like all things Rowe Casa. 

Archer and Oliver for journals and paper products. Great presentation.

Earl Gray tea. It seems to be helping my heart stay out of flutter. 

The free time for reading. Almost finished with Family of Spies, nonfiction. In 1994 or so young woman finds out her family spied for the Japanese in Hawaii years before Pearl Harbor. Her family, from Germany. Her painstaking research and from all that questioning within what her father knew and if her elderly aunt who was the main cog of it all would ever share with her niece the adventures and crimes she was a part of. I'm about halfway through. 

Here is the last thing for this post, I read this the other day and of course cannot remember the author's name, but her or his sentiment is worth thinking about. Research shows that most Christians or church attendees cannot answer some of the simple questions to determine what they understood about the scriptures. The cynic in me says, many can answer but don't know how to live it but the face is we are illiterate in many ways. That info is interesting but their thoughts on quiet times and devotional thoughts is spot on. We romanticize quiet times all warm and special with hot or iced tea, depending on the season. Of course in the south we drink iced tea all year long. We have our specially bought journal or journals...I always think it is the journal that will inspire my thoughtful devotional writings. I just like journals with narrow lined paper. Now, I am not against devotions in the morning or vespers in the early evening, but we need to dig a little further in God's Word more than what we normally do. Yes, I am guilty. So far this month I have been hit or miss on this but pressing forward to the prize I will still make that effort. It will only do me good. 

Meanwhile, we have fallen prey to the malformation of “quiet-time culture.” Having a quiet time can be beneficial, but it often disciples people into a devotional style of reading the Bible. Devotionals are big sellers, and for good reason. They pair a snippet of Scripture with a bite-sized insight, leaving readers with a positive emotion to start their day: comfort, assurance, hope, inspiration. Christian living and devotional books comprise 41% of Christian book sales, while Bible studies a mere 8.5%. One of the best-selling Christian books of all time is a devotional that has sold over 45 million copies. 

Devotional reading limits which portions of the Bible we spend time in. There is a reason no one has written a devotional on the Book of Leviticus. But all Scripture is profitable. 

Quiet-time culture also delivers a short-term, instant-gratification reward. It elevates individual interaction with Scripture so that we view the most precious time in the Bible as personal, not communal. If you have been caught in a “what this verse means to me” spiral in a small group discussion, you have seen this dynamic at play.

Just A Few Remaining Thoughts of My Childhood Friend

 I haven't been able to quit thinking about my childhood friend who passed away this past summer in July. All these years and we were not close. We didn't speak ever again after I stayed a night at University of Texas with her. I have no idea why I was at UT nor how I got there because I didn't have a car. I was just down the freeway in San Marcos at Southwest Texas State but now called Texas State. It is just one of those blip memories and I guess I remembered the most important part, Leah. Our paths had gone separate ways. I became a Christian my junior year in high school but we did have a drama class together our senior years. She was meant for the stage and got parts in the musicals and such. My comedic side didn't really come about until long after high school being too afraid to be different than everybody else. For our senior drama exam we had to participate in a one act play. Leah got a dramatic role and I played the lion from the Wizard of Oz. Not the same play. Hmmm....I think maybe I did get the better end of the deal. Back in the day schools had drum and bugle corps not dancing corps but there still was a marching band. Leah made it into the Rebelettes, maybe playing fife or drum...I interviewed with the committee when they came to the junior high school and the first question I was asked, if I didn't make it into Rebelettes would I play volleyball. Being 6' in the 9th grade and athletic of course that is where they steered me. Leah came into her own and she took the path of the day, being a hippie. My path was determined for me, a dork. By our senior year we were nostalgic friends. Maybe we rode together to school sometimes but most probably my senior year cause I had use of a car.  

During the summers of 8th-10th grade we hung out in the evenings at her house. Cute boys lived next door to her and we never knew when one might just speak to us. We spent a lot of time walking around the neighborhood. It was in 1969 and 1970 cause we talked a lot about UT winning national championships. Leah knew she was going to the University of Texas. She had her life planned out. She was going to go to law school and become a lawyer just like her dad. In 1969 and 1970 on those walks my plans were how I was going to, now as the young people say...unalive myself, once I got a drivers license. I was miserable without hope and saw no other way out...but then God. I became a Christian in January 1971 and got my license a year or so after that.  So, yep God's timing. And I think that is what has me so pensive about Leah and her life. Somewhere in those years between she, graduated from UT but she didn't go to law school there. I think she went in Houston. She got married and I think she had a daughter. She practiced law as a defense attorney with a couple of other specialties thrown in. But I don't think her career is the career she had planned upon. Doing some Google research tells me some of that info. She passed away in July, buried near her father and now also her mom who passed away in December. No obituary for Leah, at least none I can find. Surely her life meant something. I did reach out to someone who I thought might have known her and I did get some limited knowledge about her and that helped me with looking into other avenues. I found a picture, two pictures really of her in 2024. She did not look like the same Leah, in fact I would have never recognized her. Interestingly, we lived in the same area or at least her office was nearby. Of course I know I don't look the same as I did back in the day either, but people like her usually hold onto their physical appearance.  I think what haunts me are those walks with everything she planned in such detail and direction. She was meticulous about her appearance. Me not so much cause there wasn't a direction I could go on without some money. I did the best I could with what I had and it was a battle to have that. 

Last night I saw something that got my attention as I searched for anything else to know about my childhood friend. Surprisingly, I found something and then I knew exactly why there wasn't more information out there. A post from her daughter on FB,

 For me, silence is abandonment.

#adultdaughtersofnarcissisticmothers

#repeatingpatterns #RelationshipDynamics #whyaretheresomanyactualfrogsinthispond

She had a narcissistic mother. I had a narcissistic father and while narcissists share common traits it's different, but I understand. I just read an article on the six faces of narcissistic mothers. The end result of either parent is, their destruction of any self esteem of their child, holding onto to control of the child and lack of boundaries.

There will be no obituary to find.

New!

 A favorite show of mine is, King of the Hill, but like a lot of shows we love there are episodes we will skip. Although, if there is a good Peggy Hill quip I will watch just to once again here her misguided "in my opinion," about the obvious. I am feeling very Peggy Hill-ish this morning while writing about "new." Obviously since it is the new year, it is a hot word being tossed about. For me, this year it is different and not because I am noticing "new" in so many areas but the reality of so much new and so much God. These past few weeks have had such a delightful tune seeing God in the small, the ordinary and the mundane. As our pastor finished up chapter 65:17-25 in Isaiah, Looking Forward With Joy and I kept that joy and excitement all Sunday afternoon into Monday. In that joy we are new creations, the old has passed away and yay, all things become new. One of the things he said was, creation will be at peace and rest when all things become new. Yesterday, in our first Circle meeting of the new year, our first chapter being a new creation. Great timing on that for sure. One of the ending paragraphs talked about trinkets and souvenirs from our trips. I thought about all the Wendy Whitson prints I bought and had framed for our Rancho de Five home. I could look at those prints and remember where we had been and experienced. We just happened to be at The Biltmore the weekend that Antler Hill Village opened and Traditions, shop, had not only Wendy Whitson prints, they had Wendy Whitson there. In Texas I could look at those prints, most of them landscape scenes from the Estate. It reminded me of where we wanted to be when the time came. Now, those pictures are here hanging in various rooms, here. I am fortunate to have a mountain view from upstairs, but I still look at those prints and remember, then give thanks because we are here. 

Speaking of being here the tenth anniversary of tripping and falling at the Cracker Barrel in Lafayette Louisiana is coming up. Roy flew up before Christmas and we went back to Ranch de Five for Christmas and then for some doctor appointments I had in Houston. Critical cardiology appointment and a dentist appointment. I left for the mountains on January 18th. The story of the shattering of my hip is here

https://nancysmonablog.blogspot.com/2016/01/the-peace-that-passes-all-january-18.html

https://nancysmonablog.blogspot.com/2016/01/prepare-to-pick-up-mat.html

https://nancysmonablog.blogspot.com/2016/01/atumblenal.html

https://nancysmonablog.blogspot.com/2016/01/has-it-really-come-to-this.html 

I had forgotten some of the stories involved with the whole ordeal and I laughed so hard at some of those memories. But God was in and with the whole thing. In fact, I was back in Rancho de Five by October 2016 to prepare for bilateral knee replacements. And since I had met the deductible almost everything was paid for until the new year. There is that thought again, new. 

Roy left this morning for the men's Bible study at church. The kittos and I have been running into each other all morning. I think they were wondering if they would be fed but I assured them I have it all under control. They were fed on time-ish and they all are members of the clean plate club. They have wandered off to their various napping spots. I would like to run the vacuum cleaner but that would be counterintuitive to do so. 

Our neighbors gave us some of their sourwood honey and oh my, it is delicious! I've been using it in my hot tea and if we have biscuits, it will be used then too. 

I have learned from lots of reading these past few months that the traits or foibles or habits of mine are not exclusively my personality but my ADHD brain and how it works. I mean using without warning an above light or giving me a big spoon for soup....ahhhhh! Well, another trait has kicked in, a new journal for a new year...yep there is that new again but my brain always thinks purchasing notebooks and journals are going to make me begin and continue. Nope, but there is always hope.