Procrastination

Today, is one of those days that I take the time to remember. Recent events and some so very far in the past. Yesterday, I did something I usually do not do, I watched several hours of TV. The combo of LSU Baseball and Seinfeld reruns. I watch in snippets not having the attention span for several hours. 

I had seen on FB that the baseball fields in Westbury Little League were dedicating plaques and such for the 1966 Westbury Little League team that won the LLWS. One of the boys on the team lived next door and another one lived around the corner. The boy next door is a Dr, Chiropractor, and I think he still has a practice although he is probably in his early seventies. As I looked through the pictures I saw names of boys who I had gone to elementary school with. Growing up next door to one of the boys was not easy. My father was always at odds with them over using our front yard as part of a football field. My mother was jealous of the mom who lived there. Beautiful and very thin. If my father talked to her or talked about her, my mom was not too happy over that. It seems to me that the father might have been an alcoholic but memory does not serve me there. It also seems that were problems between the next door mom and dad, but I was too young to know. My goal was to keep out of sight and away from any confrontations with the two sons. They always had water balloons. Ugh! As I looked at the pics from the weekend it led me to looking up the obituaries of the mom, dad and daughter. I don't remember them being particularly religious and it was evident in the obituaries. Suddenly, the people who had been the bane of existence in childhood felt like a heavy load. I don't remember inviting them to church, they would probably bring water balloons 😇. Even after being in high school and no longer nervous over a surprise sprinkling or deluge, no longer running in the same circle of friends, my father put up a hedge between the houses. I just looked up the address and that hedge is still there but not serving in the original purpose. Another thing I noticed with the pics and comments from long ago neighbors, some still run with a lot of bitterness. Some thought it was a high school reunion type thing that only the popular kids got invited to. Several years ago I posted some volleyball pics from back in my senior year and a long time schoolmate took umbrage with me that she didn't play in games and had to do scrub team work but I wouldn't know about that cause I played. I responded to her comment that I never felt secure in my position with the team because the coach didn't like me and she appealed to another girl on the team to lose weight to be able to take my place. I did dress out and was on varsity all three years, but I didn't know from year to year what my status would be. I did know in high school my status was not cool kid and I got over the desire to aspire to that "high calling" rather early in life. Happily even now living as a nerd with traits of dorkiness. 

With a false spring week we are taking advantage. Got the water filter cleaned and little things here and there that have needed attention are getting attention. Roy got the last of the remnants from the weeklong stay from some of those who took advantage of the Inn on the Catmore Estate. Roy loaded up the truck with stuff for Habitat and a little later I'll do some sweeping up on the back porch.  

We had a choir party on the 8th after church at the pastor's home. It was great! Last Friday The Travelers group from church went to Pig and Grits in Burnsville, one of our favorite restaurants. WE enjoyed lunching with friends. Roy and I made a quick visit to The Find. Always such fun to look at everything. While I am not actively trying to acquire things I did see a couple of tempting sheep things. I have enough. I find myself in a vase, candle and tapers season. 

I am de-crystalizing honey this afternoon. I have joined Roy in a hot tea season and using honey, local honey as a sweetener. Some of it has crystalized so finding out microwaving would lose nutrients and such, I am doing the warm water bath on the honey. Making progress. Roy has gone to his first appointment with our new doctor. Roy put us on a waiting list in August and we did a meet and greet last Monday. We've filled out all the paperwork for the process. I asked for an appointment in March cause I want to get some of the weight I gained over the holidays lost.  Just heard from Roy and he is really pleased with the doctor and staff. Yay! 

This morning, well actually I knew last night, I was getting all the "let this be a sign unto you, Nancy" to step back and rest. I missed Bible study this morning but it is always about keeping in my parameters. So, it has been a laid back day. Did get a few things done. I miss studying together but book group will be fun. 

This has taken some time to finally get ready to be posted. Sometimes when I write about those long ago times that were pretty darn tough to maneuver through I think about a whole bunch of stuff. One thing is, in junior high school, That says enough right there, but every once in a while my father would tell me to go over to this neighbor girl's home. Ha, he said he was worried I would never make friends yet he devoted a lot of time trying to usurp any confidence that I had to make friends. Lots of times I'd just go outside for a while cause even though that neighborhood girl that went to school with me was the biggest drug dealer at school. Her nerdy looks covered for her. Now if she dressed like a hippie they would have taken care of that in a heartbeat. I can't even remember her name, maybe Linda or something but they finally figured out she was the one dealing the drugs. 

While Searching for Sweatpants

 When those winter storms arrive and leave, then a little bitty snow and ice come back for the brief visit, when Bible study is cancelled and one doesn't really want to clean baseboards and such, you find some namby pamby project. Today, I searched for another pair of sweatpants but I remember a couple of years ago I gave them to Goodwill cause it was never cold enough to wear them. I was hoping to find at least one more pair in a chest of drawers we only use for putting the TV on in the bonus room. Nope but I found a mesh storage bag that holds a lot of memories. 

Back in 2014 Roy gave me a month in Asheville for my birthday and it was also time to look for a home to purchase. In all the joy I experienced that month hunting for homes, using my pass to Biltmore and sight seeing throughout the area, there was a bit of trembling, not a chaotic storm brewing until overflow, but my father threatening me to come right now to pick up around eight boxes of things my mom wanted me to have as well as somethings that were mine from childhood. He sent threatening letters and threats to our home in Houston. Now in hindsight because of the "flying monkey" I see he knew I wasn't in Houston, thus the all out all hands on deck attack. He mentioned the plates my mom had promised me and that was the hook. When we were served  with documents severing the relationship with him in 2012, we took him at his word and acted thusly. He tried multiple times to get us to interact with him again. No, my chains were gone, I'd been set free. We had friends who volunteered to get the boxes but after returning back to Houston, I met a friend of his at a shopping mall parking lot. A lot of a mall that almost abandoned. No attention grabbing of course. She in a Jaguar and I in a Toyota Sequoia. She gave me the boxes. I opened the boxes in the garage once I got home and I'm so glad because for the most part those boxes were filled with garbage, odds and ends and boxes they didn't unpack when my parents moved back to Houston from Georgetown. No plates because he had given them to my brother.(my brother gave them to me later) I cried some hard tears and then I was mad that he had gotten me like that. Although, in the midst of these boxes were some important papers concerning my mom but there were important memories with my mom and my grandmother. That is what I stumbled upon yesterday while looking for sweatpants. 

My grandparents served at Mound Chapel for many years. My mom grew up in that church. My grandfather was the superintendent of Sunday School for many years in the 1940-1950's. On a whim, I Googled up the church and it is still there and still serving, although an older congregation. A woman made a comment on one of the pictures about growing up there and she referred to someone by the name of Corky. My mom had a friend named Corky. I messaged the lady and she responded. Wrong Corky but she knew my mom from church. Wow! We exchanged a few pleasantries but like me has moved away from the area of that long ago time. She remembered my grandmother too and she loved her. How could you not? My grandma was one of the best!  

I wrote down yesterday afternoon the times these battles and assaults happened and now so obvious, he was getting information from the flying monkey. He once said to my brother, the flying monkey was his best customer. 

We are still in our WWII mindset here. Not us fighting like WWII but watching documentaries. We watched a couple at lunch time and we made delicious fajitas. 

It is a very cold day and the wind chills are fierce. We have a warm up week ahead and for this we are thankful. Looks like nothing weather wise will impede getting to go to church. 

RoyNan of the Cold

 Well, it is a surprise to see it snowing on this very cold Sunday morning. The flakes are small and the ever so often gusts create quite the stir of snow from fir trees and roofs. This has been an unusual storm and cannot recall in the recent past for this rather consistent snow fall. You can barely see the road out front even after snow plows slightly cleared a path. Seems to be a salt shortage throughout the state and it is reserved for emergency situations. I don't think cabin fever is an emergency to the EMS or sheriffs. I don't have cabin fever but looking at social media cabin fever is catching and the cures for it are closed due to the snow and ice. It's a dangerous circle. The sun has broken through and it is a joy to welcome the sun back. It will melt some of the snow. We don't get above freezing today and it will form as ice when the sun goes down. 

The Boys and The Siblings must have cabin fever. A couple of normal cat relationships are on thin ice...ha! It is mainly Chubola and she has been stalking her long time cousin GMoey and he happens to be the alpha cat. The past few days it has been a bit fragile and hissing is involved. All six are asleep as well as the head cat herder, Roy. He and I stayed up in shifts last night. Our upstairs HVAC is sub par to say the least. We should have changed it out before he retired. It runs and never shuts off and goes into emergency heat setting way too much. So after experimenting with a couple of space heaters strategically placed, one in the bonus room and the other at the opposite end of the hall. We do not feel comfortable about going to sleep with them on. Roy took the first watch. I relieved him at 1:00 am and then he replaced me at 4:00. With the low of 5 degrees and dripping faucets and running the dishwasher at 1:30am, we made it through a very cold night. 

During my overnight shift I finished The Extraordinary Deaths of Mrs. Kip. I've written before that I don't usually read Christian fiction, cause that seems like an oxymoron but this was a very good and engaging read. There is a lot of reasons why I loved this story but one thing that stood out is, the ending wasn't put in a box with a happy red bow on top. The story resolves of course but there are several lives we come to know and we don't quite know the end their end result. Great use of sentence prayers in the character's lives and dying to ourselves daily. One week, the end of life for Mrs. Kip and how her influence even there in hospice was used by the Lord. A couple of times I had to stop because the thoughts of my mom came rushing in and where my father put my mother for those last few hours verses where he passed under luxurious hospice care. I also remembered my last time I saw her, so fragile and translucent. I sat there and told her what a wonderful mother she had been, reminded her of a few funny stories and when I kissed her on her cheek, she puckered her lips and made kissing noises. I will not describe the conditions he left her in but I will say the room she was in was like a group passing thing. It was horrible for all the families involved but he could have chosen better. He could afford it ten times over and still have that loot he had treasured. No, he loved money more than he loved her. 

There is a therapist and author on social media, I've mentioned before, that puts these unthinkable situations one endures with a narcissist in perspective. One piece she has put into place for me is the dominant narcissist needing a flying monkey. The flying monkey is usually the heir apparent to keep abuse going to and for the next generation. Until recently, I had not known about the role of the flying monkey. I have a revised point of view on the April-ish 2024 thing and the end results of choices and decisions being made. The flying monkey has info sourced from my father that are blatantly lies and bits and pieces of stories he fashioned together to match his narrative of lies and fascinating foolery, that is to the uninformed. So, the flying monkey was paid to keep an ongoing legacy going. I will say once again, I don't care. They all worked for their money and I didn't have to and my reward, peace of mind and peace of heart. Truly, a gift from the Lord. In reading the book, Mrs. Kip, original thought here, it helped me process through those things with answers that make sense to all that happened in 2024. I'm at rest with it and have peace therefore there is the joy in that I will never have to talk to the flying monkey again.

We did another night shift thing Sunday into Monday morning. I started the book club February choice, The Mad Wife. I'm just getting into it. 

We lost power this morning and the Duke crew hope to have everything up and running by 11:00 am. A little over a thousand are affected. At 11:07, we were back in business. It would be nice if we could have a little more sun to warm things up. Then melt, then refreeze tonight. It doesn't look like we are going to get above 32 today. Tomorrow brings hope of more of a thaw.