RIP Edee Feral Cat

Last night right before going to bed I looked in the closet to see what kind of church outfit I could put together. Most probably we'd be worshiping on the softball field in spite of all the rain we've had this week. So, the outfit would need to be light for comfort but go with tennis shoes. With an idea in mind, I went to bed. Right before falling asleep I looked in on the backyard and the front porch using the security cameras. I saw Edee sitting by the wagon and on the front porch Ranger had found a comfortable place on one of the rocking chairs. Buddy was asleep in the other room. All was well.

This morning I woke up before the alarm went off. Buddy had joined me around 2:00 am and she was asleep underneath a blanket. One of the first things that I do in the morning is disarm the alarm. I checked in on the cameras and noticed Edee was in the same spot as she had been last night, only now she was lying on her side, somewhat awkwardly positioned. Rushing downstairs and grabbing  the key to the porch door, I went outside...all the usual ferals were there looking for their morning treats. Edee, usually the first one waiting and most likely right there on the porch steps, didn't move, didn't lead the charge. Those ferals hear the bell sound on the porch door and like Pavlov's dog, respond to the bell cause food is involved. I threw them some treats, went upstairs and began to brace myself for the job at hand. Out came an old towel to carry her to her final stop and I went to where she lay. I was so thankful nothing had gotten to her, no ants or birds or even flies. Her eyes somewhat rolled back and her mouth slightly open. I petted her cause I had never been able to do that, picked her up and placed her on the towel and ever so gently carried her to on one of the large rocks on the driveway quarry.  I knew she would be buried near one of her favorite spots. It took a couple false holes, till I found a soft area without a lot of rocks and I began the arduous task.



Edee was the last kitten she brought down from the secret hiding place on that what seems like such a long ago October day. Mr McBeavy helped Punky carry down the litter of three black and white cats and one calico. It mattered not whether it was nursing or solid food, Edee was the first to arrive and the last to leave. She was fun to watch. Edee was never too tempted to roam off like the others, she stayed close by. When she was still a little one, she developed a problem with parasites and I got probiotics down them all, pumpkin and deworming medicine. It saved her. I tried to keep them in health by continuing everything but the pumpkin, but you never know how much they are getting when several cats are involved. She was the first cat, outdoors not Buddy, to greet me in the mornings. She waited on the back porch steps for the first round of treats before breakfast. As a little one she hung out with her half brother Mr McBeavy a lot. She was visibly upset when he decided to cross the road and he didn't make it, she missed his presence. He helped Punky so much with that litter.  The kiddos lost a sibling to those dogs that came through the yard in November. She was the first of the remaining siblings to welcome Ranger into the fold. Ranger is their cousin, abandoned by Mama Cat and then left alone when our neighbors were able to get her sibling, the gray cat.  Her brother Andy, well, he either wondered off  or died or was caught. Edee loved her mom and she loved Strawyer. There was a whole lot of head rubbing between them all. Straw and Punk always come and rub around my legs as I fix their food. Edee was just starting to get brave enough to come in that tight spot. She also didn't run for it if I walked through while they were eating. She might move a step or two, but that's all. That Edee, she loved chasing the red laser light at night. In fact, I am happy we got in a few games this week.

I will miss that little calico cat, Edee. Yesterday, the thought crossed my mind that the dynamics with the ferals felt like there was a change. These dynamics change all the time. Punky has dominated for so long, but that seems like it is coming to a close for a bit. She and Mama Cat got into it yesterday, worse than usual. Guess old Mama Cat is trying to get established again.

Today, after burying Edee, I came down and fixed the funeral food for the family. Camo, Edee's grandmother, was even in attendance. And, miracle, she and Strawyer ate out of the same bowl. That never, ever happens...unless there has been a death in the family. Well, I am not sure about that in case of cats, family togetherness after a lot of infighting.

I have cried some tears. As much as a feral cat will let you love them, I surely loved her. She stood out not only because she was a calico but also cause there was a sweetness about that cat.

Rainy Day Friday, Did Not Get Me Down

Once I get breakfast and dressed I'll check the rain gauge but from a distance it looks like we received 5-6 inches of rain around here. Areas to our south got a whole lot more, with flooding and rivers and creeks coming out of their natural order of flow. Seems like a drive down to the French Broad might be in the plans for today. There is that low hanging mist that's quite not fog hanging over our valley. The long range views are covered by it and the closer views look like a late November morning more than a later type date in May. In years past we would have been to Grandfather Mountain and the newly discovered to us, Roan Mountain area. Still, I am content having this view this morning. The forecast had been for 100% chance of rain today but the percentage has gone down significantly. Now it looks as if Friday will hold out for another 100% chance of rain.

North Carolina comes out of phase one and into phase two Friday at 5:00 pm. Thus dine in options and hair cutting options are open up to 50% capacity. Just saw a post on FB that the salon I go to is opening June 1st and they'll be in touch about appointments and the new protocols for opening. Still leaning toward not getting highlights for a bit just to see the color or lack of color of my hair.

With lots of thinking time my memories and thoughts have been all over the place. Yesterday, I sorted through how I dealt with real or imagined slights and presently seeing growth in those areas. Really, many times, those things are just under the line and if put into a circumstance that might test the validity of growth, could only result in quickly picking up at a default origination. Like calm driving throughout the mountains, then thrust into the massive traffic jams of Houston...sadly I had to face reality, that most of the growth had been circumstantial. Still, I press on for the goal....  Reading an author interview this morning from a childhood memory when she had the mumps, she shared her first "adult type" book, she read was Good Morning Miss Dove. I didn't finish the article because the memories of reading at my Grandma's house flooded over me. Off of her dining room was a little alcove. I am being generous in saying alcove but this small space came off her dining room and the bottom of the walls were bookshelves and over the shelves were windows that looked out into her side yard, over the field of wild flowers in the summer with a direct view of Ruthie Blackburn's home. A side note, Ruthie scared me...she talked really loud and her voice recalled the wicked witch of the west from Wizard of Oz, but in reality she needed hearing aids thus the loudness and shrillness to her tone. She really was a good friend to my grandmother and a hospitable and gracious woman. Back to that small reading space...my grandmother didn't have a lot of money so instead of a big reading chair or rather a small reading chair because the space was so small, she had an outdoor rocking chair, it was metal with wooden slats. She put some cushions on it and it became one of my favorite spots when I spent the summers with her. She had potted plants in those windows and some kind of cheap linoleum on the floor of that tiny, favorite space. She subscribed to The Reader's Digest and because of that, she had Reader's Digest condensed books on most of those shelves. A tiny space on the shelves held gardening magazines. She poured over those thinking and planning her flower gardens. One of the first stories I read in the RDCB was Good Morning Miss Dove. I loved that condensed book. I just looked for it on Amazon and one of the other condensed books in that volume is The China I Knew by Pearl S Buck. I read that story too and I believe I read The Good Earth from one of my Grandma's books.
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The gentle rain on a Friday afternoon. Truthfully, since Tuesday, everyday has felt like a Friday. Checked the forecast and got some gardening and quarry work done before the rain came. Heard one little rumble of thunder but pretty much it has been moderate to light rain showers. On the quarry side of things, I gave up thinking that I could move the big pieces of the flat rocks. My neighbors had offered to help me move them but once I realized where I wanted to put them would not work, I went back to making the large pieces into smaller ones and making a path around the back part of the porch. I also replanted some geraniums. I have all kinds of stuff I should be doing inside but procrastination reigns.

The Deep South summer reading list came out today and low and behold, one of my favorite authors, Gail Godwin has a new book available. As I have struggled to sit down and read for any length of time maybe her book will do the trick. Out of all the books she has published there is only one I did not care for. Many times her stories take place in the Asheville or rather the fictionalized Asheville. She spent time here as a child, so it is a joy to read a story taking place in a town so close by. Maybe that should be city.

Well, it is kind of funny that the powers that be have flip flopped once again. First we were told to wear gloves, then not wear gloves while out in public. We were told we didn't need masks and then it was decided we do need masks. The constant is, wash your hands but I haven't heard anyone say lately, don't touch your face. We are in this together, well not really, but now the thinking is, it is not good to stay in lock down where previously it has been the mantra. It is all because of the unknown and really we shouldn't take everything we hear to the bank cause it is going to change. This can be true in so many areas...So I guess we can say like Paul, I have learned to live with masks and I know what it is to not to wear them. I've had gloves but know when and where to wear them...I have learned...I can do all things through Christ. That there boys and girls is the bottom line.

The rain made the flowers, along with some Miracle Grow, look bright and healthy this morning. I am feeling the need to get out there and do some more planting but we will see. It is a much warmer day than the previous few, so that will limit outside activities for me.

In feral land, Edee wasn't feeling good yesterday. She did eat a little but she mainly kept out of sight or napped in her favorite spot. On the driveway last night Punky had Boo out there playing in and out of the quarry. Beanie watched and played a little. Man, Punky keeps that kitten hidden. I hadn't seen it for a couple of days.

There's Alliteration At the End

Mustang Sam passed the state inspection yesterday morning and since the Marshall office for license tags looks to be closed, I onlined it and it should be 7-10 days and I'll receive the tag by mail. Made a quick stop at Ingles and returned home. I wish I could say I did productive or creative things upon arriving home, but alas, I didn't. But according to all the commercials, that's okay. Not that I need a commercial affirmation, it's just when I hear the background music for those kinds of commercials, because the music choice is beginning to sound the same, you can go through all those ubiquitous affirmations without seeing the words, stay home, stay safe, alone together, we're all in this together, we're here for you....it's okay not to be okay, run on sentences are okay...well, they don't say anything about run on sentences. I do love me a good run on sentence.

I watched a little bit of the news last night and some of the reporting reminded me of the two week stay in a rehab facility when I had bilateral knee replacements. I can only imagine what most assisted living residents, both capable and incapable are going through now. Most of the patients, at the rehab hospital, had mental difficulties related to strokes with their physical rehabbing at the facility. So, my mental capacities were probably some of the best among the patients. It was mainly the nursing assistants that began our "rehabbing" relationship with the supposition I wasn't with it and when I responded to questions or questioned them back, they were quite taken aback. Being in the facility over the Thanksgiving holiday, I experienced exceptional bad behavior and decisions all on one day...Thanksgiving Day was the worst day while rehabbing. All the way from the nursing assistants to the contract nurse, to the fill in physical therapist, to the substitute doctor making rounds...it was just bad. The doctor asked me a lot of questions that particular evening. I answered him while praying silently that I wouldn't be tempted to spout off at him. At the end of the interview he said, I don't know if you are faking this competence, because you are very good at this. To tell you the truth, I wanted to say, wow, all those hard years of medical school and residency...and here you are talking to a 61 year old woman about aches and pains, goals and such in a rehab hospital that mainly is filled with elderly patients that are probably at the top of their game with descent lingering in the foreground ...maybe I should be questioning your competence...or your grades in med school cause you're subbing for the attending doctor on a holiday, you're a contract Dr.... Thank the Lord, I didn't say it cause he seemed like the re-avenging type. I stayed the whole two weeks but probably could have left a lot sooner...but with really good insurance, I remained. That one day could have broken me...mentally and emotionally. I cannot imagine going through that everyday and fighting for normalcy.

Now I wish I had read the review on a book about watching the daily life of snails, and what we humans can learn from them. Really, snails? My attention span is more for feral cats than snails. Maybe the one piece of advice we could learn from snails is, stay away from salt. While I don't give it a lot of study, the dynamics of the ferals changes constantly. The strongest cat in the group only remains the strongest until a stronger cat comes along. Rejection is tantamount in feral colonies. Ranger experiences rejection daily. Punky chases her off, even Edee takes a couple of swipes at her if she gets too close to the newly placed food. I've done everything to try and help that cat, but she rejects the unknown help that has consistently fed her and given her shelter. Punky keeps her remaining kitten out of sight and when those occasions arise when I do see Boo and Punky realizes Boo has been spotted, she wrangles that kitten into hiding. She is still nursing it not letting it come to breakfast or supper. The big alpha cats Big Chief and Darth haven't been around, so that means Frankie is around from time to time. I don't really like Frankie...he is mean and acts on that meanness without BC or Darth around. He is the one cat that would attack me...but I take means to protect myself.  Poor Strawyer, he is the weakest cat in the chain.
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Darth showed up for a quick minute yesterday. He has a presence and when he is sitting on one of the large rocks in the back, his appearance startles me every time. I think he is someone's cat that gets out now and then. He is well groomed and doesn't have a weary look of a feral. With the continuous rain today, most of the ferals are under the house and sounds like they have a peaceful coexistence happening.

We are supposed to find out this week if the state is able to go into phase 2 of reentry. I don't know if hair salons are in phase 2 or not. At this point I'm kind of indifferent because it would be interesting to see what color my hair really is. Although my hair has always grown fast, it is at that stage where it is slowing down growth-wise. Yesterday, outside of Sunday church from a distance, has been my social day in the past two months. Two long phone conversations in the morning and a social distancing visit in the evening which may or may not have contained chocolate chip banana nut bread delivered to the front porch. It is delicious! We used the social distancing pole from the rug delivery for the porch to measure the distance. I knew it was a good thing to keep, at least for a time such as this. Several South Carolinians have written emails and letters to the editor to the state of NC. SC is open, more open than us, and several business owners pleaded with the powers that be to open up because almost every other car in their business's parking lots were from the Old North State. They were pleased to have the business but could only think of their counterparts missing out on business and survival opportunities.

I've read several FB posts written by friends who have worked from home and are now slowly being phased back into their offices at work. Such a joy to read of the blessings in the time, which also included working more. Roy says he works harder from home than in the office. He is phasing into office location and while not many are there, he likes the break from cabin fever. Now truthfully, these past few months haven't had a lot of change for me, schedule wise. But, I have not been on the go like my usual spring time activity. Beginning with daylight savings time, my TV watching goes down exponentially but not this year. Being around here and doing projects and chores instead of running and gunning, then returning home to projects and chores, took away several hours of The Andy Griffith Show for me. Yes, I am so trendy. Anyway, that front flowerbed project has kept me busy, exercising and it has been very entertaining. It was a jigsaw puzzle at times. Thankfully, no math was used...well, not too much math. My endurance is better from carting bags of mulch, outdoor carpets, bags of soil and plants down to the flowerbed. I've used the swing more this spring than I did all of last year. One side of the railing by the stone steps has been repainted and all the solar lights have been replaced that run along side the steps. New lights were put in by the new stone steps in the back, dead heading of roses, planting more dutch irises given to me by the master gardener himself, Larry R. I have never really enjoyed gardening but that has changed. I now join in the ranks of my Grandma B, Mom and my brother Doug. Nathan, owner of Leicester Landscape and Lawn, took my dreams of the flowerbeds I wanted, made them happen and helped me get started down this pathway of getting vitamin D. That side flowerbed is now coming into its own with wildflowers beginning to sprout and bloom. The roses in the back by the gravel road are growing so quickly. The little pops of color, pink mostly, brighten up the back. I see some huge weeds taking sprout so as soon as the rainy season of this week is over, I'll be up there pulling up weeds, galore. 

The mood and direction of our country, yes, even with little glimmers of hope, light and laughter, continues to be a very bad mood that sometimes feels like it is spiraling out of control. Twitter has been a go to for news but there is more trash talk than news some days. From all sides and points of views. I worry about Christian  influencers. that kind of taunt but rarely tease. What if they are wrong? There is a lot of accountability. What if they are right? Lots of glory and pats on the back. They are mainly young, so those who are older...well, here they come adding their views and opinions. Then everyone blocks.    Politics is no different because no matter whose side you are on, there is a lot of time wasted on rabbit trails and looking for offenses...to report or not report. So each side puts attention on what is near and dear to their hearts...ratting out the opposition or ignoring the offenses of those they support. On so many things, I sit on the fence so I don't join in cause it will be assault from all sides...guess I am a Robert Frost supporter

He is all pine and I am apple orchard.

My apple trees will never get across

And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.

He only says, ‘Good fences make good neighbors.’

Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder

If I could put a notion in his head:

‘Why do they make good neighbors?

I support his Mending Wall poem. Being raised by one of the best conspiracy theorists ever, it is a fight not to tend to that thinking. For me, it overwhelms and keeps me idle, which is not a good thing...idle in doing the stuff that needs to be done cause thinking about what ifs can be a wearisome experience. Also leaning toward cynicism is a battle for me and here of late, has been more victorious than defeating. Some days, while reading FB or Twitter and a little swipe is made...well, every year it gets less difficult cause I really can't say easier, to respond with a much better retort or swipe back. Once again being raised by someone with attachment disorder, most probably bi-polar and a narcissistic personality disorder...three strikes wow, one of the talents that had to be developed, thinking on your feet for the best, cutting retort or assessing the situation to see if humor might level the field somewhat. It is exhausting to have to be on ready constantly...  I am not so good at this anymore because I don't have to practice this now, but sometimes it can be the default setting. When a smug remark is made by someone who is less talented in this area... mostly it is water off my back but sometimes....oh my, anyway.  A conversation with a friend years ago about some smug remarks made by someone clearly not gifted in this area got a response from me in the conversation as, I could have taken her out with words, she'd be a devastated mess because clearly, she is not as good as she thinks. My friend said to me, you say that like you're proud you could do that. My response is no, I am saying this because there was a day, and it wasn't very long ago...I would have leveled her...I am telling you this more like a, look how far God has brought me. Look at His transforming work. Well, this has turned into a rambling mess...but now, hopefully, it is out of my system...thinking about all the hurt, hate, hopelessness, havoc...if I was a good Baptist the alteration would have stopped with three points. 

To Know The Heights and the Depths of Lint Traps

Buddy had an up and down kind of night so that means sleep was in bits and pieces and hard to come by. I let her sleep a little too much during the evening. Since the cold morning had turned into a pleasant afternoon, I worked a little outside. I got more soil in the raised flowerbeds and uncovered all the plants. I didn't plant anything because there was a slight chance of frost and this morning the flowers look like they survived and maybe we didn't have frost after all. Now that Mother's Day is behind us, let the planting begin.

Last night our pastor did a Facebook Live sermon as he continued where we had left off, in Mark 3, on the last Sunday we met together in person. While joining with friends online and hearing his familiar voice and most importantly hearing God's Word, when he signed off, I was tremendously at peace. I felt a joy. Through this social distancing time I have had a difficult time sitting down and listening to sermons or teachings from TV or online church. I could not pinpoint why. Nor was I using the time to study, to get ahead on lessons. It seemed like a time to just read the Bible and I have been listening to the Psalms on the Dwell app at night. Several Sundays I started to listen to our church in Houston, but I'm not in Houston. I listened to other churches in Houston, but again...it just seemed like futility, not with God's Word, but with the knowledge, I wasn't a part nor planned to be a part of that community of believers. Nationally known preachers, that felt the same too. Something was missing and after last night I knew what it was, gathering with friends known and unknown as we listened and experienced last night's preaching from Pastor Bradley. He has been our pastor for a year and I am so glad that God sent him and his family our way...out here in rural North Carolina. Our sanctuary, with stained glass windows, the familiar green hues of the pews and carpet. It was home. Where we belong and serve. It was seeing home last night. Now I am not going all Scarlet O'Hara this morning, having fallen to the ground and making the neither me nor my family vow while holding dirt in my hand, but more of a peace-filled heart knowledge that I am where I need to be and belong, to serve, to worship and to be still and know in these uncertain times.

I went downstairs last night to take meds and saw Punky and Edee out back. Punky will still chase the laser light around the yard. As she and Edee chased it and hunted it down, I saw the little black kitten. It came out from underneath the house and when Punky realized I had seen it, she rushed it back out of my sight. She has it up on the gravel road this morning. I really felt like it had died, because she was hanging around without a care in the back but yesterday afternoon while dead heading roses, I suspected that the kitten might be hidden in the tall grass and weeds. Punky was up there and she was meowing that meow that she has for her litters.
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Now, they are saying last night was our last frost for this season. Sure hope so. Woke up and saw a notification on the phone about light snow showers. Wow, 2020 has sure been a crazy year.

Punky has let the black kitten wander about more freely yesterday and this morning. I was thinking last night about the many that have come through for a bit and those who are able to remain. Buddy has taken notice once again of the ferals. She had a much better sleep night and that means I did too. She has found a spot of sunlight on the floor and is oh so happy and will be happier when she can go out onto the front porch.

I had an adventure yesterday afternoon. It was a fun morning cause I got out and went to Mars Hill to a produce stand there. Bought a few plants and will make a return trip for sure. Came home the long way through Marshall. After lunch, I leveled out the ground on the other side of the back porch. Then lugged the ladder to the newly leveled sod, which wasn't leveled enough and with rocks slightly below the soil line, beyond my capability. So, I placed the ladder like I have seen Roy do so many times, only I didn't have anyone to hold the ladder. One leg on a brick and the other on the porch step, the front two safely on the ground. It had come to the point that something needed to be done about the lint gathering in the dryer duct. First tried a vacuum cleaner...nothing... extendomatic brush...nothing..got out the Appalachian spider broom, helped a little but not enough to make a difference. Called Roy to consult on the next step and what professional to call. Then, the thought of using a wire hanger came to me. I was able to manipulate the compacted lint to the side but knew once the dryer ran, the lint would cover up the grate again. So I gathered every bit of courage and prayed for God's blessing and I climbed up all the way to the fourth step on the ladder. Using the hanger, freed up the lint and then I was able to pull a good portion of the lint out. We are going to have to get back up there and better attach the mesh grate, but for now I feel confident in running the dryer and not worrying about starting a fire. Tested out the dryer last night, shorter drying time, so success! Then I went out and covered plants on the front porch and that was it for me. Ladder climbing, lint release and only moving the ladder back to the porch wore me out.

Time For Thoughts and Random Memories

Once upon a time on a cold morning in May...yep, I got up, dressed warmly, with gloves on, I went outside with the faucet cover and covered the faucet because of the freeze warning issued for tonight and into tomorrow morning. Then to the front deck and brought in the flowers to the porch. A little later, before the rain begins, I'll cover up a couple of plants in the back. Then hope for the best for the rest. Dang, I should have kept those worn out flannel sheets.

March 11th is the last day I wore eye makeup and fixed my hair. Yesterday, the first attempt at coming back to a social and civilized world came about because of a dentist appointment. When the text and email came saying my appointment was on, I did a happy dance. I cannot imagine what type of dance I'll do when the hair salons open again. The only thing, visor hair, bandanna hair or headband hair wouldn't do. My hair, going back to a natural part, did okay but the dilemma of remembering eye shadow colors I wore, finally rectified itself. The dentist office is on the opposite end of Asheville Cardiology parking lot. I have never, ever seen that parking lot so sparsely occupied. The procedure now is this, call the office and wait in the car until they call you back to come into the building. I was doing just that when a maroon car pulled into the lot with a police car with lights on pulled in behind it. The policeman got out of his car and made the wide half circle walk to the driver's side of the car. A small gray SUV stopped within a few feet of the situation. The cop was laughing as he walked away from the car to his. I then realized the gray SUV was an unmarked police car with those orange official plates. The plates from a distance looked like they were from New York, that's what threw me off. Cause then I'm thinking oh, they caught interlopers from NY because they and a few other states are on the hot list of no visits here from there. Another police car joins in. I never saw the people in the car from my view but the thought crossed my mind, should I be filming this just in case? About that time the dentist office called for me to come in. My effort to not draw attention was smashed to smithereens when I accidentally set off the car alarm.

It was a very successful dentist visit. The temp cap was put on the implant that began in January and then next on the schedule was a tooth extraction so that another implant journey could begin. All my implants have been upper ones, this is my first bottom tooth implant. Dr Hodges got that tooth out like the ultimate pro that he is. I cannot recommend him enough to friends. While we were waiting he began to show me the tooth he just pulled. How little tooth there was in the actual crown and where the infection had lodged. Good thing I am not squeamish about those kinds of things. It was such a gentle extraction that I felt good enough to make a Target run. There were a few things to pick up and since this was my first day of any kind of excursion except for the grocery or hardware store, I didn't really know all the changes in store. I wasn't going to get anything that everybody else would be needing but it was odd at some of the stuff they were out of. Then we stood in this long line to be instructed what checkout we were to go to. We were not social distancing in that long line but it moved much faster than I anticipated. The Novocaine was wearing off and I just came on home. Odd not to see a million cars in Biltmore Village or waiting at the light to go into the Biltmore Estate.
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For no particular reason at all yesterday, I got to thinking about some homes that were built in Westbury in the late 50s and into the early 60s. Such a random thought. When my father was transferred to Houston our first home was in West U. Kindergarten was coming up for me in the fall, back then no bridge year if your birthday was in late summer, and the elementary school in West U wasn't within walking distance and we only had one car. No school bus service offered, probably cause it was in the late 50's and we probably lived within the mileage limit for bus riding. So the luring song of the suburbs called. I vaguely remember looking at houses. The thought of these princess houses came to mind. Their style was a cottage style, think fairy tales not craftsman style. The window have metal trim, the garage doors had a cut out wooden trim on them. The roofs were those large wooden shingles and that set the look. I don't think these houses were ever a serious consideration for my parents but they were unique, in fact just this one street or two had them and nothing like them on any of the surrounding streets. A dim memory of my parents putting an offer on a house on Briarbend, but something my father said made the family nix the deal when he thought for sure it was a done deal. I don't remember what he said, but it came in the form of joking.... He ended up buying a house on a nearby street and in hindsight, it was probably the better house for us and for him to expand later on. Back to the storybook houses...I looked at Google to see if I could find any information on these houses, nothing. So, I did the next thing, put a post up in the FB group, "you know you grew up in Westbury when...." Got the answers from several people and many long time Westburians didn't have a clue about the homes. I did a street view search and found one house that still had some of the trim on the windows and garage. No one would have those wooden shakes, cause they are illegal now due to being a fire hazard. The memories that come while social distancing.

With the day warming up it was go into all the great outdoors and work in the flowerbed. I got several of the raised garden planters filled with soil and arranged so it will be an easy task to plant seeds. With two nights of frost and freeze warnings, thus blackberry winter, it is safe to do the majority of planting. Looks like we will have several days with no rain and cool to warm temps, so I will try to wrap up this work before it gets too hot for me out there. My neighbor Nancy brought her mother's day gift for me to see. Her name is Cora and she is a beautiful nine year old horse. I loved meeting Cora and she helped "cut the grass" while Nancy and I visited. While working in the flowerbed my brother messaged me. He sent the wedding announcement for my parents in the paper that long ago day. His friend does family ancestry research and thought she would send this along to him. I had never seen the announcement before and neither had he. We talked a little later and got caught up. He has projects going on at his house both indoors and out. He just picked up an antique farmhouse sink and cabinet for one of his bathrooms.

It looks like Sunday will warm up quickly, so I just might get outside and do a little work. I need to make a list of all the projects that have been done during this time of social distancing. From the very little to the big, getting it done. And, there is still many more to do. But, I'm not rushing through these things, I am trying to be present in each one and see what it is I am to learn or appreciate.

The Chronicles of Hairnia and Re-experiencing Junior High School

The self distancing potion of life which I misnamed self distraction although that seems to fit the definition of the past weeks. The time began when I never heard the refrigerator motor run and had concerns. I've heard it a lot in the past few weeks and now I'm concerned it runs too much. Little things are such a distraction or blessing.

I began a post and never posted it but I might, is about how this time at home has felt somewhat familiar to me. It dawned on me last Saturday at the produce stand when it was so awkward placing and paying for the produce to the cashier behind the plexiglass. There is a whole new set of etiquette to experience and learn. Then, I know I shouldn't look at this but at the grocery store most wear a mask...but at the produce stand, hardly anyone did. Was I going to go along with the crowd or was I going to put myself in the safe but nerdy way of wearing a mask. These so familiar feelings, but from when? It came to me, these feelings in the past few weeks is feeling very much like when I was in junior high school. You know, uncertainty, bad hair, restrictions due to age... being grounded, bad hair styles, bad hair color, hair not cooperating. Just like junior high, I'm getting a lot of talkings to...not from teachers or parents but from younger people who might be taking issue with a trip to the grocery store or hardware store by me. That's pretty much my excursions of late. I don't think mentioning to them "but Inez and Velda get to go out!" will do any good cause I knows the response...if Inez and Velda jumped off a bridge, would you? I feel pretty safe in knowing that Inez and Velda wouldn't jump off of any bridge much less walk onto a bridge.

My hair, well, I was hoping gray hair was growing in so I can convert but the roots of my hair are black! Even in my most natural of color days, my hair was never black. It started out blonde, went dishwater blonde, then highlighted blonde. For years I have parted my hair on the opposite side of my natural part, but my hair is so heavy, it has gone back to my natural part. There is a little hope there is something to work with there. Tomorrow, I have an appointment and wearing a visor, bandanna or headband isn't going to work. Yes, I bought headbands yesterday at the grocery store. Texas opens up Friday at 5:00 for hair salons and barber shops...hmmm...the talk is for June openings in salons here...so I could drive as far as the Texas border, get a haircut and return home. But South Carolina, TN and Georgia are opening up faster than NC. Someone posted a pic of I 10 in Houston, with the 10-12-24 lanes across of traffic and said, North Carolinians heading to Georgia for a haircut. I've taken a couple of pictures of my hair in various states...not actual states but conditions or styles... top ponytail, tiny ponytail, visor hair, bandanna hair and hat hair, I don't care hair. Maybe this would be a good time to have Bethlehem Head. Practice wearing biblical pageant Bethlehem head pieces for hopefully the coming pageant Christmas season ....truly these are My Chronicles of Hairnia.

Yes, the history of the world, America, Texas, and North Carolina these days, has always been overshadowed by my hair. I didn't pay attention to Watergate, elections, hanging chads, oh too many to name, but now my experience with or lack of experience with Covid-19 is once again being overshadowed by my hair. That is consistent and predictable. I'm looking into converting some of my masks into Amish headgear...cause for right now, those masks would cover roots.


This self distancing time is causing many to almost make bad decisions. My friend Laurie R put on FB, she was this close to ordering a pair of jammies from the Vermont Country Store. Y'all, she is young, young I tells ya. Reason, I don't know from a scientist or not, prevailed and she did not order. Those denim jumpers they have are so very tempting...but I'm staying away from any catalogs except for gardening or Keen shoes. The denim jumper is a bad decision just like looking at Nordstrom's website...that has fashionable and trendy clothes isn't a good choice. After going through spring and summer clothes, I have enough. It is difficult to envision even wearing some of these clothes, to go anywhere other than the post office, grocery store or hardware store. Flax.com had a huge sale this winter and at deeply discounted prices, I got a few new things back in December. I am hoping to wear some of those clothes one day soon. Sadly, not for tomorrow's appointment because the high is going to be in the 50s.

Since it is feeling very junior high schoolish around here, it's probably for the best not to return to those strong sarcastic words, or roll my eyes or do a heavy sigh of disagreement. I'll try not to pass notes. Instead of not remembering my locker combination, I cannot remember password combinations. No longer do I have to worry about being able to traverse across the whole school in five minutes to get to my next class...although, I have to worry if I can make it from upstairs to the driveway in time to get packages off the porch. Back then, I couldn't wait to shave my legs, now, I can't wait not to shave my legs. May 2nd, I broke my nazarite vow for my legs. Funny, I don't feel so strongly about the nazarite vow for my hair...I just know I cannot be trusted with a pair of scissors and my hair. No raging hormones like junior high, but rage at not having enough hormones to keep my skin from wrinkling or experiencing some kind of hot flash. Although, it is just not right that wrinkles and pimples can exist at the same time on someone's aged face. Occupation with the phone in junior high is almost the same thing now...only we can do so much more than talk on the phone...and really, it's not about the call anymore...texts and pictures, FB and Twitter....keep me much too occupied. I need to record someone yelling at me in a parental voice, "get off that phone! Have you done your homework?"

In the eighth grade we began our four year plan...what classes we would take? What direction was my life heading? That in between time from elementary to high school so full of contradictions. We were too young to go out but we were old enough to plan our lives for the next four years. My best thing I did back then was to get all the hard stuff out of the way thus making my senior year, rather carefree. So turning 65 is kind of like making the four year plan on which medicare thing or supplement are you going to choose. Did you make wise decisions early on in life so that the senior years of life can be carefree? I'm kind of thinking I hit pay dirt once again. Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina...well, except for that cute boy I've been dating long distance, to get up here finally. Uh, for those whose minds went someplace they shouldn't, the boy is Roy.

Feral Fam Update

Lots of sunshine and lots of wind...lots of rain is supposed to be heading our way. Yesterday, I bought potting and garden soil, with a few plants. This has so far been mainly a seed planting spring with a few geraniums thrown in for good measure. The last raised garden bed got put together yesterday afternoon and is down in the big flowerbed being held down by bags of dirt. Cleaned out a few more planters of weeds, added soil and organic feed. It is a slow process. These cooler days help except today it is too windy and cool so working inside mostly today.

Last week Punky surprised the heck out of me by slowly but surely bringing her kittens into the backyard. She brought down the calico and then two black and white kittens. At some point while I was working in the flowerbed she must have brought down the solid black kitten along with a gray and white one. So after everything was finished up, the garage door came down as per usual. On Saturday morning Punky was in the backyard on point and intently looking into the window trying to see me. I took the look as the normal breakfast look and changed clothes and went outside to feed them. In the back corner of the garage a few little meows sounded forth, Punky began leading out the two kittens she had stashed in the garage. The black kitten followed her but gray and white got skittish and ran back to the corner. Punky led that little kitten up to the hidden home of so many ferals up on the gravel road. I went about the morning chores and hoped Punky would come back for that kitten. She did, and I acted like I wasn't seeing her to do but she scruffed that little one by the neck and carried him up to the gravel road along with the rest of her brood. She had five kittens, we've caught one and we are trying to catch the others. By all accounts, she acted as if she didn't have a litter. Seemingly, hanging around here most of the day. Since she waited till they were six weeks old to carry them here for safety, I figured the kittens had died.
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Yesterday, everything aligned perfectly to get three more of the kittens. Punky had taken them over to the cleft of the rock, she sat there watching over them. It was about time to take out supper so I headed to the garage and started getting the bowls ready. Strawyer showed up, Punky left her kittens to meet him and they ate along with Mama Cat and Edee. I walked over to see the kittens and Nancy came by on her way to their compost pile. I told her about the kittens, she went to get Niaya. Skinny arms and hands, she was able to pull three of them out and we put them in a carrier. The little black kitten disappeared in the dark of the rock, even with a high beam flashlight. So, she took the kittens up to their home to foster and socialize them. Niaya came back to look for the last kitten. Punky had called it out and it was under the grill but we still couldn't get to it. I've seen Punky, Straw, Edee, Ranger and Beanie this morning. Fed them. Most scatter to parts unknown but Edee sticks around.

I keep learning so much by observing these feral cats. The runts of the litters usually come into their own and like Cali, Beanie is beginning to assert herself. The little black and white kitten we got last Friday, he is the runt. Name is Smudge and he has fit in with Nancy and crew like he belonged all the time. He never hissed or growled when we got him, he purred. Boy knew a good thing when he was rescued. We got some hissing and swiping yesterday from the other three. Punky must not be too mad at me cause she greeted me this morning, let me pet her and she rubbed against my legs. There aren't any survivors from her first litter and she lost two from her second. Four have been rescued so far from this litter. Just a week ago today did we even know of these kittens existence.

Gardening Days

The stay at home order in NC has been extended to May 8th. Before the governor made the announcement I felt like it would be extended but happy to see the stay home thing is being extended by just a week or so from the original April 29th date. Looks like my dentist appointment will be wiped out by the extension. The journey of the second extraction will be postponed and the next step in an implant that began in January will also be put aside for yet a little while. Meanwhile, that just means more time to save money for the procedures. That is how the redneck flowerbed came about. Knowing the rubberized mulch costs more than regular mulch, along with labor costs, the flowerbed came under home project jurisdiction. Nathan and crew could have knocked this out in a day or so but with the slow and steady progress and the reworking of a few ideas, the flowerbed that began in earnest around March 9th is just about completed. By nature, I am not a jigsaw puzzle person but making my ideas work has been like a giant puzzle. Because the rubberized mulch season is coming to an end, some of the reviewed ideas will have to be implemented next spring. And yes, some weeds are cropping up between the cracks but nothing at all like they usually are in that flowerbed.

With the rainy day I also worked on the changing of the season clothing exchange. This is a time when I cull out things that probably won't be worn in the summer, but with no where to take the clothes, some of that is just being set aside for now. Still have work to do but now with the fog lifting and the light rain ending, the call of outdoors is too strong for resistance.

The past two weeks Roy has been able to go to the office one day a week but that now is coming to an end. As they try to determine what groups can safely come back because their jobs are more efficient from the office than home, think like engineering, no longer can employees randomly come downtown one or two days a week. You can hear the cabin fever in Roy's voice and he says working from home takes more energy than physically being in the office. With all the remodeling they've been doing in their building, that is probably coming to a stop. People were being officed in smaller spaces and tighter quarters. Thankfully, Roy's group can work from home and are able to do their jobs. Since he doesn't have commute time now, he rides his bike after work around Spring Lake and the water feature next to our home.
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Good Tuesday morning! Looks like most things that have been recently planted made it through the frost advisory. These past few days there has been a confidence to begin getting things into the ground. Since Reems Creek has been closed, so many of the plantings this year will begin as seeds in the dirt. Sunday I cleaned out three small flowerbeds in the back and planted wildflowers, dahlias, and some other flower whose name escapes me right now. Close by the flowerbed by the driveway I planted three peony plants. On the other side of the driveway I planted the new azalea, burning bush shrubs and then added a few more perennials around the cherry trees. Also, I cannot tell a lie, I didn't chop down the cherry trees. I put out some weed poison and I'll check on that today. I also have one more raised flowerbed to put together and that might get done today as well. I had given some thought to driving down to Strawberry Hill but punted that idea into next week. Ducketts Produce in Canton opens on Friday, so maybe I will only go there for strawberries.

Mike the mower man was here yesterday, so it is a joy to be in the yard with the grass cut. Everything is looking good garden wise and this morning got the shipping confirmation for the last of the rubberized mulch pathways. That will finish out that portion of the project. Reems Creek is supposed to be open again, so today might hold a quick look see, of course complete with mask.

The snowball bushes are bursting with snowball blooms and flowers. The dogwoods are starting to leaf out and the red bud trees have finished red budding for this season. I am fortunate to have spring in the front yard but I have missed driving here and there throughout the countryside seeing all the beauty therein. I can't complain, after having such a pretty view out the front porch. We added several bird feeders in the back and the birds have been, dare I say, flocking for the grub. So many gold finches this year. I have also seen blue birds a little more and about the same amount of cardinals.

The list of to do is getting checked off. Added an additional security camera on the front porch yesterday. It was a little more complicated than the first one but finally, with some patience, went online. Things like washing the car, putting up books, getting the new desk area in shape in the bonus room....nothing earth shattering, just stuff that has needed to be done.

Well, this has been the gardening catch up. It has been particularly soothing to the soul. Maybe, because this year it hasn't been rushed and the labor is more appreciated cause my back and feet can tell a few stories of these gardening days.

Back In The Olden Days

This past week the last part of Ephesians 3 has been on my mind. The beyond, infinitely more, than we can ask or think but the verses before those words have meant much more in these days. Those verses of how high, wide, deep and long the love of God is...the verses sometimes we can minimize or skip cause we want to get to the beyond our finite minds to the infinite of God's ability and power as it pertains to us or to the ones we love. Or at least that is how it worked for so long personally.  While reading this morning, I found myself back in Ephesians 3. And who knows why but my thoughts drifted to a time long ago and really not thought about too much.

When Roy and I got married, came home from our honeymoon to that small, dark, apartment Roy lived in, we came home to a mixed bag of surprises. Before getting home we had stopped at the savings and loan to close out the account that paid the wedding expenses. Surprise, the meager amount of money left in the account, was gone, so was the account. Closed by my father. Once again he had reneged on his promise that any leftover money was mine. We were counting on that $100.00 to get us through the next two weeks. Roy would be starting a new job and that $100.00 was our food and expense money. This is back in the day when you got a check, deposited it and waited a couple of days for the funds to be good. With this dismal news we returned to the apartment that was to be our home for only a few more weeks because we were moving to the Galleria area for Roy to be closer to his job. While we tried to figure out how we would buy groceries, we went to the kitchen to assess what we had for our food options and how we could stretch them. Roy was notorious about keeping it lean in life and believe me, the kitchen pickings were going to be lean...except...they weren't. Friends had the apartment manager open the apartment while we were on our honeymoon and they had stocked our kitchen with essentials as well as some fun, special kind of treat options. That my friends is above and beyond, more than we could ask or think of God for that moment in time. What had been meant as evil turned out for good. Several days later, my father called and asked what in the world were we going to do for food the next few weeks. Beware of questions being asked by someone who knows the answer...without even giving reference to what he had done, I happily told him of our good fortune of having friends who thought outside the box for wedding gifts. 

The apartment we moved to was probably more apartment than we needed. It was a two bedroom, two bathroom apartment with a front and back door. We had a fenced in front patio that had a small flowerbed ready to be filled. We had sold my car right after moving because Roy could take the bus down Westheimer to go to the office. In retrospect, we should have sold Roy's car cause that thing was nothing but a money grabbing expense. He had a Toranado and the garage guy told us they should have named the car a Tornado because it caused a storm though checking accounts. We moved into the new apartment with our third hand living room furniture we bought from a co-worker moving away, a queen sized bed, the kitchenette set I had bought when I moved into an apartment after college, bookshelves made of cinder block and 2x4s, and this big old heavy gray metal desk of Roy's. Oh, we also had Roy's portable broken down only one channel needed a wire hanger as an antennae TV, a bar stool and a kitchen knife. Thank goodness our wedding gifts filled out our beginning life nicely. We loved having that backdoor because taking groceries into the kitchen wasn't much of a chore. One of the bathrooms had a huge linen closet, only we couldn't use it because it had carpenter ants in it...no they were not singing Close to You. Told apartment maintenance about it, they would drop by, spray the closet...didn't affect those ants in anyway. Roy and I had just heard a sermon on Psalm 91. I also remember in college, a friend of a friend needed a place to spend the night in San Marcos, so I offered the empty bed in my room since the roommate spent the nights with her boyfriend. She only spent one night there the whole semester. I don't remember the girl's name that stayed the night but I do remember her telling me that if you only memorized one passage of scripture, memorize Psalm 91. It covered everything, for anytime, any trouble. Back to our linen closet. Every morning after Roy left for the office, I would take my Bible into that bathroom, ask the ants if they were listening to me, I'd kick the door, cause that is where they were working, and once kicked you could hear the rattle of those ants falling. I did this every morning for months, kicked the door and read Psalm 91 to them cause when it got to pestilence, I told them they couldn't live in the linen closet anymore cause the Word of God said, they could not come nigh my dwelling. One Sunday night Roy and I came home from church and that bathroom was covered in carpenter ants.There were hundreds of ants and none of them left the bathroom except by death. Roy began to kill them and I went and got bug spray from the kitchen. Back then I didn't know that pestilence meant sickness or disease. I thought it meant bugs and vermin...cause of thinking of the usage of pest control. God answered His Word, the ants were gone and we were finally able to use the linen closet. That is almost a memory that is forty three years old but always a good reminder that I prayed the Word, asked and sought God...He answered....above and beyond. But it was experiencing God's love in that adventure. I know I had experienced it before and continue to in these days...oh the deep deep love of Jesus.

I also remembered that in our first two years of marriage, we changed apartments a lot...looking for better deals etc... Way back then we didn't have much to move and it was nothing to do so but now...oh my, way too much stuff. 

Rain, Frayed and Pity...

I have to admit I get most news from Twitter. Thus it is a pick and chose kind of thing on what article to read or if there is a pay wall which means, sadly, I won't be informed. Along with informative news comes a bunch of junk. Sometimes all that junk wears on me. In the past few months I've read more cuss words than ever and my prayer is, please don't let one of those words take up lodging and accidentally come out at an inappropriate time.

People's nerves are a little more frayed than this time last month. There is so much loss and grief. There is so much boredom with inactivity. Yesterday is the first day I have done really absolutely nothing, other than drying clothes. I watched TV. I semi napped. I snacked and didn't eat healthy. There were cows to observe, birds to wonder at and thoughts to ponder. It was a welcomed day of reprieve. One thing, I never am bored, there are things to amuse and entertain me. Of course I am easily entertained. My screen time is down from the iPhone report. That's good news.

After a night of rain, with some this morning as well, the storm clouds have moved to the south a bit. The scene from the front room contains so many eye catching views. The spring shades of green are more prominent and a few trees in view are holding on to those golden colors but green is winning. The cardinals must be hungry this morning because they crowd the bird feeders. They're letting in a few of the wrens and finches but keeping doves at bay. Mockingbirds aren't afraid of much, so they challenge the majority rule and most times defeat it. The other day while working outside once again a crow was chasing a hawk. That hawk was moving at warp speed. One would think the hawk would turn the tide on that crow, but the crow knows its eggs and babies are merely appetizers for hawks. Of course that is how crows view baby rabbits. This morning I threw out some treats from the back porch to take attendance. Frankie was luxuriating in one of the little chairs but it seemed from the security camera that Big was under the house. At first Punky, Edee and Ranger came up to the door, then once I was inside Frankie made his way to hog up all the food, that is until Big made his appearance from under the house. I think I should name him Eddie Haskell, young people look him up, cause he seems very respectful to me but he wrecks havoc amongst his own kind. I haven't seen Beanie for a couple of days but maybe she will reappear like these cats are wont to do. Oh, and Camo, I have seen her two times after months of her absence. She looks worn out but that comes with the feral life. Ranger gives me those looks that I interpret she would give up her feral ways. Don't think I have the gift of interpretation. 

We need to put Alexa where she can be seen. Roy texted that a package had been delivered. Guess we will move the echo into the bonus room cause that's where I spend a lot of down time. So hoping for the front porch but alas it was in the mailbox down by the road. The package was a Flow Magazine Paper Lover book. It was wrapped well and would have survived but it was good to get it into the house last night. Normally, I wait to order if a Sunday delivery is involved but those Flow books go quickly and it is the first time being offered on Amazon. Maybe the bigger fear would be the people who rob mailboxes. That has gone up quite a bit. Doug sent me a card to the house and it was in the mailbox, but it had been opened as if someone was looking for a gift card. That's why early on, we got a post office box. I should have taken the garbage to the road but since there is hardly anything worth the trip down and back to the road, it will be a for sure trip next Sunday afternoon.

During the trek to the road, the Dr who boards her horses with our neighbor came down the road in her truck as I was walking up it. She looks at me with pity each time and I know it's because I have totally gone into don't care old lady mode. Hair unkempt, clothes don't match, no makeup, and the like. Anyway, yesterday I had taken old lady wear up a notch. The green Baylor sweatshirt and a blue Grandfather Mountain shirt along with jeans, jeans go with everything, got an especially good pity look. It's like the two weeks I spent at the rehab hospital after bilateral knee replacements...no makeup, disheveled appearance. When I came back a week or so after being released, none of them recognized me...so I do clean up well. 

The sun is out and it is coolish. Time to go work on the front porch since this morning's indoor time was used to blog. At least all the Easter stuff is up and ready for storage in the garage.

Is Today Sunday or Monday?

It has started out as a lazy Saturday morning. Buddy has had treats and I have eaten breakfast. I've already run a couple loads of laundry.

Many days the kiddos in the backyard get brunch instead of an early morning breakfast. Some of the passing through cats have influenced the adjustment of the schedule. Some of them are downright mean, especially Frankie. I think he is meaner than Mr Meany. Last night while cleaning out photos on my phone I came across a pic from a few years ago. It was a pic of one of the passing through cats whom I've named Big Chief. The pic showed a much younger and smaller cat. I'm thinking since he is huge and seems to be in command of all the cats in the land, his father must have been Big Sissy Daddy and his mother is Mama Cat. He must have been born in that year that Mama Cat didn't make an appearance, in fact, I thought she was dead. She showed up the day after Cali died. Watching these cats has given insight into a cat world that has protocols, boundaries and territories. The only one that ever broke all these cat protocols was Mr McBeavy. Back to Big, his presence scatters others, if they happen to be around. He is becoming a more frequent visitor and so I need to discourage that. Strawyer, well, he is affected by this. He can't come and eat because in the chain of command he is low cat on the totem pole. Straw knows I'll feed him separably from the other cats so he can grab a quick bite. I think Punky had kittens four or five weeks ago but since I haven't seen any evidence of them, they probably didn't make it. Last week is when they should have made some kind of appearance. She had them up on the gravel road somewhere and that never bodes well for the life span of any cat that chooses to spend lots of time up there. Yesterday, Punky was hanging around some bushes and shrubs where previous litters have slept around and played in. I kept a watch to see if there was any stirring, but it was only Edee. Big came back in the late afternoon and only Punky doesn't seem that afraid, although, she gave him room to eat a few treats that I threw to them from the porch. Big keeps Frankie from the yard and that's okay for now. I cut off one of their routes to the gravel road yesterday. None of them are happy about that.

The man down the road across from the barn is out mowing again today. This is not a social distancing thing for him, he does this all spring, summer and fall. He has two huge parcels of land but yesterday after mowing his grass, he began mowing across the way and on down the road on the land closest to the road, what a great neighbor...keeping weeds and tall grass at bay.
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This morning I watched Mud Creek Baptist Church in Hendersonville on TV. The message was good, with an Easter emphasis, but on a different level I experienced a bit of nostalgia. The pastor looks, sounds and preached like John Bisagno. The cadence, the invitation to know Jesus...so much like Brother John.

It was supposed to rain most of yesterday but delightfully wrong in the forecast only the morning was rainy and soon the sun broke through for a beautiful day. The original plan for inside work quickly changed. Got two burning bush planted. Also, did some reinforcement work on the cat deterrents on the edge of the porch. Pulled a few weeds and rid two rose bushes of an invasive vine. The vine is a fast acting, fast growing weed that overtakes plants and soon destroys them. The rose bushes that were freed yesterday are located in a precarious part of the yard. That vine had taken root and taken hold. The rose bushes had started to grow in width to escape the clutches, so after ripping out the vines two robust rose bushes were left. Last year they were kind of spindly. Now, as I have written before, I am not a hyper look for a spiritual lesson in everything I do but I try to keep my attention focused in seeing God in the ordinary of the day. There was a spiritual lesson in those roses with the beautiful vines overtaking and overwhelming...set free from that constraint, they are ready to bloom and be all that roses are intended to be. The thorns weren't gone miraculously as I ripped out the vines, but there were a very few small blooms.

After working so hard in the yard and garden, the reward treat was two beef tenderloin tamales from the order delivered on Monday. While the tamales were cooking in the oven, the appetizer was guacamole and dang, it was very good guacamole. Dessert was a no sugar added krunch Klondike bar. That late lunch early supper was delicious! My intent was to go upstairs and read. I did go upstairs but instead of reading I watched the free episode from Showtime of Belgravia. Hooked, but not adding Showtime to the channels. Maybe it can be streamed, I'll check into that.

A baby calf was born yesterday and while I was eating the delicious tamales on the front porch, I watched the little one and his mom. His wobbly legs and then his attention to his surroundings made for delightful watching. The drama on the neighbors farm above us has come to a conclusion. Nancy, had let their two pigs out in the pasture with Bertha and Beatrice the cows. The male pig developed an infatuation with one of the cows, then that infatuation developed into love. That pig followed the cow everywhere. One afternoon, the pig was asleep by the cow and she tried ever so much to quietly escape the affection and attention of the pig. She was almost free when the pig wakes up and trots on over to sit by the cow...which has now relaxed by sitting on the ground. Cow got up, pig followed. This scene has been going on since day one but Nancy and Steve decided to remove the pigs so the cows could have some peace. These kinds of scenes make not having a TV downstairs a good decision. The gold finches, in colorful displays, are the main birds at the various feeders we have around the front and backyards. What a colorful, fiery display when a red male cardinal joins in. I've almost always noticed the birds singing around here but their songs seem louder and stronger this past month.     

Beyond Anything

A friend called yesterday and as we talked she told me that Easter Sunday had been rather boring for her. Now this friend on any major or minor holiday is in the throes of cooking and baking for a large extended family, so I can see how Easter Sunday was a tad ho hum. She was thinking I had worked outside on Easter but my Sunday in the yard was hoe hummed because I am at a stopping point waiting on a delivery of materials. It is feeling like improvise Tuesday, so Plan B might begin. After all the rain Sunday night, I see a flaw in the design of the redneck flowerbed and that needs to be corrected. Back to Easter Sunday. I didn't do too much that day neither by watching a myriad of online church services or catching FB Live things. I did play organ music, thank you Apple music subscription. The past few weeks I've been adding and then culling various Easter organ hymns and spiritual songs. I didn't want any plinky plank music, I wanted full throttled, high church, liturgical organ music...John Keys provided most of the music for the day. So the playlist is filled with Crown Him With Many Crowns, Christ the Lord Has Risen Today, Lo In The Grave, Worship the King...you're seeing how I went and then added those Episcopalian touches. I wrote checks and did correspondence for many years for Mrs. Baker and at both her husband's funeral and hers, I unknowingly sat by another Baptist. How do I know? We were singing a familiar hymn to most Protestant churches, but we got to a word in a verse, that Baptists sing differently. While the Episcopalians sang their version, we blooped by singing our known Baptist word. The Baptist man next to me said, you must be Baptist too. On Easter Sunday I didn't read the resurrection story in the Gospels even though they are some of my favorite passages. I didn't finish up my Lenten devotional. I didn't pose in front of my computer screen with a slogan in the background. I did sing. I did worship the King. I did pray. I did express my overflowing gratitude to Him for so much of life fillings at this time and for many things. I did watch the virtual choirs cobbled together via Zoom. I love what one pastor said a couple of weeks ago, even though it is an Easter emphasis at this time of year, anyone who has been looking for an excuse to get rid of their churches singing Christmas tree concert, should use this time to begin to phase that 1970s wonder out. You know what eliminates a singing Christmas tree? Have portions of it begin to fall in a concert....that's how our church kicked that tree to the dump.
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Back on a cold Thursday morning. When I awoke a little before 8:00, it was 30 degrees outside with a feels like temp of 24. Brrr.... Yesterday, although in the 60s and the sun shinning, it was a breezy cool. While working outside in shift mode, a lot of down time rescued me by retreating indoors. On Tuesday I made my once a week trip into Weaverville that included a stop at Lowe's. They had the nugget rubberized mulch on sale...sadly, they had sold out. So with my plan B in effect, I bought several bags of the shredded mulch to finish around the edges and also some potting soil because phase 2 is quickly coming into being. Phase 2 is happening soon because Plan B was put into effect on Tuesday. My last resort because of the delay in materials has been to dig out from underneath an old outdoor rug being used in the garage. Last resort because it was a labor intensive operation. But hey, where am I going? So the dig out began and it took time but finally the rug was extracted and then put into the flower garden, along with three well used welcome mats and one Merry Christmas welcome mat...for such a time as this. If the rubberized mulch pathways ever come, they'll be used to finish out the work. Yesterday, I put out most of the nugget mulch I had and sprayed some weed killer, good old vinegar, Dawn and Epson salts on some of the small weeds making their way through the cracks or not matched up well spots in the garden. I'll go out there in a bit and see if any progress was made cause the vinegar was expired but hey, you work with what you have. Y'all this project is beyond anything I had ever hoped for concerning it.

On Easter Monday I fixed one of the Taste of Texas steaks. Oh man, that was a good steak. I ate it on the back porch, and Bertha and Beatrice the neighbor cows started mooing something fierce. Oops, hope I didn't offend them. The tamales I ordered were delivered on Monday too. Glad I was outdoors cause the UPS guy had trouble finding our address...that's because there was a transposed address number, but the tamales and salsas are safe and sound in the freezer or refrigerator. The steak beyond anything...being outside to receive the tamales...beyond anything.

A wonderful surprise was in store on Tuesday afternoon, Kelly and the four kiddos stopped by with signs and greetings and we complied with the social distancing requirement of six feet. So fun talking with them and laughing as well. Pastor Bradley was making phone calls and checking in with members so he wasn't on the visit. Kelly, is a member of our Joy Class. We love her and she loves us, I mean, she hangs out with us oldies but goodies...we are at minimum 20 years and on older than her. She brings life to us and great ideas. Our class was sponsoring an Easter Egg Hunt but Covid-19 changed those plans. Now here is where we saw what God had prompted Kelly to share with her desire to do something for the kiddos at church. There had been one person who thought maybe we shouldn't egg hunt because of the pagan attachments from history...but we continued buying plastic eggs and candy, planning snacks and a God glorifying time. Kelly would be sharing the Gospel too, after the egg hunt. Then Covid-19....but then God.... Forward to several women at church with a heart for the van kids who come on Sundays because they are picked up at their homes and ride to church sans parents to church. They felt like the kids might be falling through the cracks and wanted to do something about that. They prepared snack packs and Bible lessons for them. Sandra called and asked if we would take some of the names of the kids and pray for them...yes! A resounding yes! At that time I mentioned to Sandra we had the plastic eggs and candy. Could they use them? Yes, they could. So I dropped off everything we had gathered. We also had some eggs in our Sunday School room and told Sandra they were free to take those as well. As the crew took the eggs with candy and Bible lessons to van kids as well as church kids. God used these eggs and candy to open the hearts of parents. Many of the kids wouldn't have been getting Easter baskets this year because of financial hardships caused from the virus and these parents minds and hearts were opened to the church and the gospel because of this simple yet profound gesture. Oh and the eggs in the closet? A family called, no ties to the church and asked if their kids could be included...the eggs in the closet were just the right amount needed for the four children added. God is so good! We thought egg hunt, God knew hearts that needed to hear about Him. This feels so like the boy with the fishes and bread...God multiplied our meager offerings. He is beyond anything....

These past few weeks of social distancing has contained some of the finest hours of God's goodness. The story above being one. Sometimes we have this mindset of what we should be doing or what we think is required and can feel a little guilty when we aren't practicing what so many others have shared. Easter is always meaningful if you're a Christian, but this particular Easter was more meaningful without the usual. On Monday I read a devo written by a woman who wouldn't be invited to speak at any women's ministry event at conservative churches. She is out there, uses words that maybe if we are honest only utter when tremendously frustrated and is a slip of the tongue, is so different but she loves the Lord, serves Him....but not in the box we construct. Her Easter devotional hit me like a ton of Robin Eggs Minis. God used her words beyond anything in the norm for me... I used to be afraid to read anything written that I couldn't agree 100% with. We agree on the things we should agree on...Jesus is God's Son, He was raised from the dead, born of a virgin, and He is Lord. God knew the words from His Word that she wrote about would encourage me.

God, above and beyond anything we could ever ask or think.

A Little Few Day Ramble

It was a long night. Neither Buddy nor I could get coordinated on our sleeping patterns. Finally, around 2:00 am, we both got up and went to the bonus room. Turned on the little heater in there, coldest room in cold temps, turned on the TV and Buddy settled in on my lap. I didn't really sleep but dozed with Dateline on in the background. She woke up and moved down the hall, so I did likewise and turned on the TV in our bedroom. Buddy is a habit cat, so when she returned, she no likey having the TV on...so, off went the TV and we both settled in around 4:00 am and slept till 8:00. She is sound asleep now in the window grabbing that warmth of the sun.
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Today we celebrate Resurrection Sunday! Happy Easter! This morning the house was filled with Easter organ music cause Easter just needs organ music. The magnificent and triumphal deep resonating sound just says He is Risen to this boomer. Buddy is not a fan of organ music so she retreated upstairs to begin her first and extended morning nap. I watched a little of the National Cathedral service, cause I do love me some liturgical worship. The original plan was to get up early and watch the sunrise service from The Pretty Place, but this child slept till almost 8:30 am. They have now posted the video so maybe the early service can be used as a vesper service this evening.

Yesterday, I worked pretty hard around here. Roy and I have been trying to decide if we want to order another project desk from Pottery Barn. Sales have come and gone but it seems like the eternal 25% off is available most days. Since we couldn't decide and now it might not even be delivered with the assembling a part of it, I opted for a different solution. I found a desk online at Target, significantly cheaper and easily assembled. It arrived this week and the size of the cardboard box was perfect for a space needing to be covered in the front flowerbed. So, I got the box and covered it with rubberized mulch, then took all the wrapping off the legs for the table. Brought all that in thinking assembling the desk might be a nice Sunday afternoon project. The first part of the project was to move a chair into our bedroom...not easily or even able to be done by one person, so I found out. I mean I tried sideways, upside down and straight up chair. The only answer was to take the door off. So plan B came into effect, for now the gray chair can be the chair to sit in while using the desk. Putting the desk together was much easier than I thought it would be. In the background the Wizard of Oz on TCM and Lisa P and I texting about it. Then at 8:00 What's Up Doc came on. I love that movie and haven't seen it in years. I laughed just as hard as I did the first time. Lots of slapstick humor. While slapstick is not my favorite humor, this is so well done. And the streets of San Francisco made the best backdrop for all the slapstick to take place. Ryan O'Neal playing a nerd, first movie for Madelyn Kahn and one of the best lines. Barbra Streisand says to Ryan, love means never having to say you're sorry from the huge hit Ryan starred in, Love Story. His response back, that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Yep, good movie.

Working in the driveway quarry also took some time yesterday while trying to finish up the project and trying to decide whether to do a sub project.

During the social distancing experience I've noticed some stuff, just like everyone else. Some are getting things done around their homes, things that have been put off. Some are catching up on reading or crafts. Nothing new to be said, but instead of working on the obvious things, I am drawn to cleaning and organizing closets, drawers and such that no one would see but me rather doing things like vacuuming or putting things up. I mean I am vacuuming and somewhat keeping up with stuff, but I could do a better job.

Since this is getting rambling like I am wont to do, think I will wrap up this post and move on downstairs.     

Social Distancing Catch Up

I succumbed to temptation yesterday. After several days of seeing ads for the Texas Lone Star Tamale Company, I went to their website to check it out. If it was just pork tamales, the visit would be short but goodness no, all different types of tamales to chose from...so just for fun, I put several varieties in the cart. To tempt me further a spinning wheel of fortune appeared and just for my email they would give me a chance at the wheel and I got free shipping. They know me...I am a sucker for free shipping. It pains me to pay for shipping but haven't a clue why that is. I told Roy about the tamales and they freeze for a year...when we talked of their variety he was hooked. Last night before going to bed, I pulled the trigger on the tamale order complete with salsas. This is what happens when you break your self imposed rule of no news at night. Yet, I rejoice in the fact....free shipping.
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About two months ago I wore some cute boots to church and those cute boots had the audacity to aggravate my heel thus resulting in a bone spur. I haven't had one of these heel spurs since the early 90s when I played tennis and Nike and my foot didn't get along. It is more painful at the end of the day and like a boo boo head, when the rubberized mulch pathways arrived yesterday afternoon, I took them to the flowerbed, along with some cardboard and then put down four more bags of mulch. That was a mistake. I've kind of been hobbling around ever since. Going back to some tried and true, get me through home remedies until this can be addressed professionally. Don't have an orthopedist here and if worse comes to worse, a cortisone shot.

I have become the old lady I always made fun of. Working around here knowing the likelihood of a pop in visit is nil, my clothes don't match. I just throw on any old thing to work in and if the bandanna around my head doesn't match, no biggie. Today would have been my haircut appointment but alas...not to be. Not tempted yet to grab scissors and try my hand at hair styling. This status might change in the coming weeks.
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Tamales are on their way! Yahoo! This morning is a coolish, blustery morning in the mountains. Lots of rain heading our way on Sunday.

The past few days with work stalled in the front flowerbed, my attention turned toward the back porch. All the furniture and decor covered up and in storage containers. The first thing, locate the shams, blankets and covers and run them through the washer and dryer. With many breaks in between the work, most of the porch was finished by late afternoon. Just have a couple of things to clean and arrange. Last year I had an antique baker rack on the porch but it didn't make the cut this year. Mainly it was all the things I had worked on getting last year. Now, waiting for warmer temps to be able to sit out there and have my morning coffee. The cat deterrent hard rubber spikes is keeping the ferals off the edge of the porch. So critical for Buddy to be able to go out there and enjoy. Right now she is content with the front porch.

Today I ventured out to pick up prescriptions at the pharmacy, drive through, and had the truck go through Zips. On the way back home, the plant man who is an older gentleman that grows all kinds of plants, was by the river. Got two more burning bush, some kind of pink azalea and this other shrub that I cannot remember the name. Bought one from his last year as well. Since it is supposed to be cold tonight with a frost warning, those plants are protected on the front porch.

My hair continues to be an adventure. Looking through some old pictures this afternoon with some of the bad hairstyles of childhood, it is looking very likely that history hair wise is going to repeat itself. Oh my....

A Few Gifts From Last Week

It is about 36 degrees outside and I'm waiting for the warm up so instead of being productive inside the house, I'd rather sit here and write a few things. Being productive is never that high on my list but social distancing is helping me be a little more focused. These things I have been doing around the house would have totally been on the back burner because by this time of the year being out in the convertible, going places, seeing things...is usually what grabs my attention.

Buddy is in the window sleeping, taking in all the warmth. Earlier she was a bit put out over not being let out onto the front porch, but dang cat, it is too cold.

Yesterday my concentration was in getting these flat stones and rocks down to a manageable size to place in the backyard. Although the hammer method was good, letting these big pieces fall onto the driveway or across a wooden board seemed to be the most economical use of energy. It is looking good and hopefully this work will accomplish the goal of not tracking so much dirt, leaves and grass into the house. You could vacuum three times a day and not keep ahead of said trackage materials. While working so hard on the chain gang Flintstones quarry work, a brief memory came to mind. Dealing with childhood and family situations I didn't understand, the moment I closed my bedroom door to that world, my pretend world would begin. Sometimes while doing homework, I would turn off the above room light and just have on the desk lamp. I would sit at the desk doing homework or many times in that land of pretend, I just pretended to do my homework, and picture myself traveling about the country on a train. Sitting at that little desk and the stark focused desk light I would imagine doing my homework in the caboose of the train. That pretend wasn't well thought out, who was I traveling with? Where was I getting my homework? Did I work on the train? I think I liked the, dare I say it word of 2019 cozy, coziness of the setting. Most of the time when that bedroom door shut in my imagination I found myself working on a farm...with lots of chores that kept me busy. Now that was a much more thought out pretend game. Yesterday, reminded me, although we don't live on a farm, there is always something to do or take care of around here.

While working in the driveway quarry a most unusual sight of Mama Cat totally relaxing took me by surprise. She came up to the bowls and ate whatever leftovers were there and there was just the littlest bit of milk left in the milk jug. So, since she isn't a frequent visitor much and because no other cats were around, she enjoyed lapping up milk in relative peace. There is no peace for a feral cat, their heads and ears constantly moving toward noise and not wanting to be surprised. After she finished eating and drinking she made her way over to the new arrangement of chairs now in the middle of the yard and not close to the porch. She laid there, rolling about on her back. She stretched out and took in the respite that this time frame had given her. In all the years she has been around, she is never in a relaxed state. Early on, she watched over her kittens and then as she moved farther down the gravel road she kept in the vigilant position. Watching her relax and have a moment not at guard was such a gift, for both of us.
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Sunday morning, another Sunday morning in social distancing. Roy and I had this week planned out but things are not happening and our plans have come to naught...so one would think. They changed but God is good and He loves us so. Buddy is taking the first of many naps. The sun is beginning to break around the clouds. There looks to be a bit of a breeze and online church is playing in the background. Sunday morning, Palm Sunday morning. The kitties out back have had a snack but are waiting around for brunch. I'll get out there in a bit.

Yesterday brought a bit of nostalgia. It came about seeing a post on my high school alumni page. Someone requested pics of the volleyball teams in 1971 and 1972. Went to the yearbook and took a couple of pics and posted them. Several of us who were on the team visited a bit online about those days. We were one year before Title 9 so girl sports was not even on the forefront of anyone's thoughts except maybe us and our friends and families. I made the varsity team my sophomore year but wasn't a starter till my senior year. That sport and team meant a lot to me. The summer before my senior year and y'all this was back in the olden days of sports, I borrowed my brother's bike and ride for miles and miles most evenings. I had five pound weights for each ankle and jumped outside several times a day trying to increase my jump height. I was doing this before I learned our volleyball coach was encouraging a friend on the team to work hard and loose weight to beat me out as a starter. That just made me work harder that summer. Our team met on our own and used Willow Meadows Baptist's gym to play and work. As a group, we were a talented bunch and our goal was to win the city championship. That is as far as we could go way back there in the olden days. We made the championship but lost...to a team we practiced against several times. We prepared for their short serves but they didn't short serve us, they long served and we didn't adjust. It's funny, I worked with a woman at Pennzoil that was on that team...we recognized each other. We had some good talks about that match. Several years ago I was in a jewelry store and the sales clerk asked me if I had played volleyball at Westbury in the early 70s? Yes, and she told me she had played on Lee's vb team, they were in our district, and she began to tell me about several spikes that I had in the game...back then there wasn't a kill term or really even blocking as it is known now. I didn't remember them at all but she said, they were trying to figure out how to stop me. Y'all, not even a blip on the screen and I wasn't the best player on the team, at all, in no way. But...what a gift that was to remember those sporty good times. How she put me then with the me way back then, I have no clue and rest assured I wasn't making vb moves in the jewelry store.

Oh There Was That Day, March 27,2012

My battle against weeds continues. It is a battle fraught with hope and discouragement, work, planning and then more work. While laying out cardboard yesterday there were a few tiny weeds trying to poke through the spaces that don't line up exactly. For now it will be a pull by case basis until the reinforcement rubberized mulch border arrives sometime next week. Since we had beautiful weather and pleasant temps, most of yesterday was spent outside working on the flowerbed. It is forecasted to be much warmer today, so that will limit the time but there are a few more boxes to be cut apart and laid out and eventually covered with the mulch. In the past when these projects are started, patience hasn't been a companion. It was rush, get this done and move onto the next task. Well, now I just say, there is time to get this accomplished. Teasingly this is called my job and my PE class.

It got too hot too quickly so outdoor work came to an end and a move indoors was necessitated. I did get some cardboard laid out. I thought about doing some work in the backyard. I wish I could tell you how industrious I have been inside but sadly, that would be fake news. But there are a couple of items on the to do list that have been taken care of.

Today marks the 8th anniversary of the day of the official separation began between us and my father. That day as I had spent most of the afternoon looking for my father because his cardiology nurse said he did not show up for his appointment. Long story short he came home and I was in his office...writing down phone numbers of his friends and the constable for that area to begin a search for him. I knew it would not bode well and that no matter what I said and showed him what I had written down. that once I left, the conspiracy thoughts would envelop any sane thinking he had left. We sat there in the family room and talked, I wrote down all his meds and then when I was leaving, he threw out the idea we should go look at assisted living for him right then and there. Health-wise that day had been a drain on all the meager energy I had. I also knew he was not serious about assisted living and with it being after 4:00, it wasn't a good time to start looking. He took that as an insult. I reminded him I was not well and dealt with serious heart issues and he pretty much accused me of faking an illness. He couldn't understand why I would not call the nurse at his cardiologist office, she was so smart. No doubt she was but my cardiologist developed the procedure that was saving so many lives, he was on the cutting edge and my father was furious I wouldn't talk to his nurse. Of course, it was an attempt to acquire information and thus turn into control for him. That day while backing out of the driveway and waving to my dad, inside me the thought came...this is the last time you will ever see your dad alive. And you know, it was. From that point on and on April 12th while being served with papers by his attorney, he severed his relationship with us, legally. Then his harassment began with bogus reports to the police, constable office and adult protective services. Roy has said to me many times during the last five years, North Carolina saved your life. In the midst of all the accusations of coming to his house, putting a tracker on his minivan, tapping his cell phone, turning on water, turning on the stove and stealing from his garage, I was in North Carolina so many of the times. My brother found out the yard person was setting a lot of that up to be able to embezzle money from my father and my brother put a swift end to that part of the story. My father's friend John, who was the closest thing to a pastor he had at the end since he was fighting with the church he and my mom had belonged to since 1960 or so, called me once and asked if I had read the letters my father had put on all his doors addressed to us. No, cause I didn't go over there. He said they were some of the meanest words he had ever read. He asked me, do you know your father hates you? Of course I did, his hatred began when I went to kindergarten and I was more interested in making friends and going to school than thinking of him. This I also knew, while any one of his posse spoke to me, they would soon find themselves in the position I was in. He turned on everyone. Everyone was cheating him, stealing from him and plotting an overthrow to take all his money. He fired the lawyer that served the papers. He got rid of most of his posse. I'm glad that John was able to stick with him to the end and that his friend Thelma was so helpful to him. Once she realized all he had told her about us was a lie, her attitude changed regarding his accusations. While all of this was kind of a shock to the system it was also so freeing. So much stress was entirely gone once he was no longer a part of our lives. Like I said he tried hard to make his deluded accusations stick and I think it was his way trying to get back with us, thinking we would call and confront him about the falsehoods, but we didn't take the bait. He could not call and say I was wrong and I am sorry. I thought we were free and clear, my father and me when the beginning of those days with my mom declining and then eventually passing away. He had instructed my brother and Nancy not to tell me my mom was in the hospital, possibly facing death. He was able to keep that news from me because my mother no longer spoke, just spoke gibberish, so it wasn't eventful not to speak with my mom when I called.  I just happened to be in the cardiologist office when the news was leaked to me and cleverly I might add. When I called my father, we spoke of clearing the slate, of forgiveness on both of our parts and we were able to walk with him during the sad days ahead. But, I took the bait, he just said what he needed to say to manipulate the circumstances in his favor. My father was a smart man and throughout most of his life the only thing that held him back was sadly, him. A little too late we learned about narcissism and only then could we eek out freedom in a survivable way. We didn't know his behavior had a name. It seems the meds he was on, he was on so many accelerated his hallucinations, fears, neurosis and once my brother and the wonderful assisted living place he had found for our father, took him off all those meds, our dad settled out a little. Like my father had never been diabetic, he told that lie for years. Doug had two good years with him until our father died on April 1,2017. Thinking back on this day of eight years ago, I don't think my father ever thought he would need help from anyone. He was a cunning and skillful lair. He was able to keep his lies straight and his fabricated ingenious stories in line for the most of his life. Sitting at his roll top desk, surrounded by file cabinets and organized papers, he was king of content, until he got older. He couldn't keep lies and stories straight. All those years of lying when there wasn't a need to caught up and he found himself mired in a mess he had concocted himself. I share this from time to time because this story has hope, this story shows God's faithfulness and just because we find ourselves involved with people whether they are family, friends or coworkers who suffer and yes make us suffer from a narcissistic personality disorder, there is victory. The practical solution is starving the narcissist but the truth and victory only come from trusting in God, asking for His wisdom and be as wise as a serpent but harmless as doves. Also there were years of visiting a therapist. She gave me a road map as well as the encouragement while entangled with duplicitous ways to be set free.

I was writing this on the 27th and have come back to it a little to make changes here and there. In the past years, I know I have written about this incident and the fallout we felt and experienced. Each year that has gone by, I rejoice in the victory of being set free and that God made it all possible. How he impressed Roy for us to pay off our home in Texas. We expected something bad to happen but it was to be able to free us up to buy our home in the mountains. If we had a mortgage the lenders would think this more of being a second home and not inclined to loan us the money. God weaved together the circumstances to be able to live here in much better health than I would be back in hot Texas. If I reflect on time in my childhood, and mainly that is to write or at times encourage someone who has a similar background, I can see the hand of God and how there were people He sent that helped me along the way.

Tomorrow, my father will have been dead for three years. Five years tomorrow, the moving van arrived at our home in the mountains. This year I am more aware that the bad times and the times of deliverance are bundled together in a time span of dates but separated by years.  It kind of has that biblical time line feel to it. The other day my brother and I were texting, catching up and we both mentioned and then gave thanks that at this time of Covid-19, we aren't stuck in a house with him, quarantined with him. "My chains are gone, I've been set free!'