Many years ago a friend married a minister. There were several showers for her, one of course from her friends, a church-wide shower and a shower from her fiance's friends and church. You would have thought they would receive the mother load of useful gifts...alas and sadly no. They did get a few place settings of dishes and silverware but almost exclusively they were gifted with tons and tons of scripture plaques, little decorative dishes with scripture, and a whole lot of what I call Jesus Junk. It was pathetic because they needed everything in the worst way to get started out in life. Can I return this hot pad that says "four men in a furnace" for a blender? Several years later I made a visit to see them on my way to Colorado and beside the door in a huge basket were all the plaques and junk wedding gifts. She made a fun game out of it because everyone had to reach into the basket when they left their house and take whatever they pulled out, home. She had another basket ready to go in the closet. I don't know what I read on Twitter just now that made me think about this but it does make me thankful not to be officially involved in ministry and on the receiving end of well intentioned people. Oh the humanity....oh the junk... I am kind of feeling the same way about Restoration Hardware. I think I have bought Christmas stocking stuffers and hand lotion there. Never anything major and several weeks ago I received twelve pounds of catalogs shrink-wrapped and delivered by UPS. Twelve pounds! I need to put them in the recycle bin sans address label.
Another story about this same friend who married a minister that I love is about spiritual gifts. The church where they were serving had 'team building' among the staff and their spouses each month. The teaching pastor and his wife were in charge of the monthly building. You couldn't fool my friend too long with making something spiritual out of something that was obviously to the pastor and family's benefit not so much for team building. My friend said it started out as making lasagna, King Ranch Chicken and other kinds of casseroles, the concept of everyone working together to make something. Only thing once they made everything it was all wrapped up and put into the freezer for the family, everyone pulled out their pot luck dishes for dinner and spiritual application time afterwards. The next month was laundry, ironing and packing the family for a 'ministry related' trip. Same ending to the night, pot luck and application teaching. My friend said after making dinners, packing,and cleaning their house as team building, she put her foot down when it came time for the monthly team building theme of the summer which was re-landscaping, pouring concrete for a patio and building a gazebo for the teaching pastor and family. She called them on it because not only were they getting free labor but the budget for team building did not come out of their pocket but out of the church budget. It was at that point my friend declined the invite and said a classic line, I know all about spiritual gifts and my spiritual gift is lying and deception...and it looks like that is yours as well. That went over...well...you know accountability is always better for the other person, don't ya know. Funny, everyone was shocked when they caught the TP embezzling about a year after my friend and her husband had moved on in ministry.
While I am thinking on these things I will tell you my last story of the day about this friend. She had gone back to work to help support the family and she wasn't always around when decisions were made or logistics changed when it came to church work. She knew that a missionary was staying at their house for several nights and when she returned home, her husband's car was in the driveway. She came in the house, no missionary to be found in the guest bedroom so she began to prepare their light dinner of salad and grilled chicken. Because the ministry world can be so topsy turvy she figured the missionary was staying somewhere else. That's when she heard the shower come on in their bathroom and she figured she would go back and tell her husband not to take too long of a shower because dinner was ready. She reaches inside the shower curtain without looking and just imagine what she grabs and says ding dong, dinner's ready! and goes back to the kitchen. Upon returning to the kitchen, the back door was opening and in walked her husband. She turned a bright red and grabbed the chair to steady herself. She asked, who is in our shower? Oh, it's the missionary. We dropped him off and then I rode with ______ to make a hospital visit. Then the missionary came into the kitchen a little sheepish and said, wow, you sure know how to give a guy a friendly welcome around here!
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