Wednesday, October 17, 2018

A Post That's Out of Order

***** I was working on this post but then the kittens took over my whole afternoon and it seemed like their arrival into young kittendom took precedence. So old news here and maybe a wrap up if Buddy will cooperate. She seems to think the laptop is something she needs to compete against for attention.




I was lamenting the misplacement of four of my favorite flannel shirts yesterday and this morning. When I went to bed last night I made a mental list of places to look and then prayed the prayer that has always been answered...Lord, you came here to seek and save that which was lost, I know out of context, but I have lost these favorite shirts...will you show me where they are? And with that I went to sleep. This morning as the big switch continued summer to fall/winter in drawers and closets, the thought that those shirts might have gone to Salvation Army or the church yard sale crossed my mind. But, those clothes weren't going to switch themselves, so the work continued. Then great happiness and joy, the shirts were there all the time. I had folded them inside out so the plaid wasn't showing. Ah joyously, the temps are dropping and fall is finally coming to the mountains and my shirts are hanging in the closet.
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Ah, Saturday afternoon, late afternoon. The day began a little overcast but afternoon sun greeted us and the day has warmed up nicely. Trying to get this change over done of summer to winter clothes has been delayed gratification. Things I have had for a long time are getting a good look toward the give away pile. I went through my Cookie Johnson jean phase but not wearing very high heels anymore makes those jeans a little too long. I ran to the grocery store and it was a very pleasant ride over with a breeze and the sun. Saw my University of Florida friend who works at Publix and congratulated her on the win last week over the Tigers but she is rooting for LSU today and the Astros for all post season play. Picked up ingredients to make taco soup sometime this week.

The new tent of napping has been put together, insulation installed, padding, tarps and light blankets to start this beginning of colder temps. The tent was a little more difficult to put together this year. Riley was interested at a distance and Cali checked out the happenings. I haven't been downstairs to see if they are interested in it or not. I did keep one blanket from last year with the Feral Fam scent on it to keep some familiarity.

Last night Buddy was in a bit of a snit. It was too cold for her on the porch so she could not settle and just meowed and whined. It was if she went upstairs to pout and after a bit she came back down and sat on the stairs. When I wouldn't let her out on the porch she turned her back to the corner on the landing, facing the corner. She has never done that and it was a PTSD moment. I quickly texted my brother to tell him of this unusual behavior by her and that it brought to mind how our dad would act sometimes when he was being childish or angry...or who knows really what made him do some of the stuff he did. One Christmas he turned his overstuffed chair facing the corner and opened his Christmas gifts in the corner not with the family which included his parents who were there for the holidays. Years later he turned to the corner to eat his supper and he did this in front of friends of my brother. We were successful to have him turn back to the table, but Christmas...nope...we didn't succeed. In hindsight, we should have left him alone. Doug called right after that text to tell me Megan's good news and we also talked about his new home and everything he is having done now that he is moved in, but we gave a little time to the Buddy/Dad moment. My therapist told me that things that remind me of actions of my father sometimes will show up in other people or situations and if I have a quick response to the people or situation...maybe in anger or fright, that is called transference. Now, especially since his death in April 2017, I am more determined than ever not to let anything or anyone put that kind of hold or influence upon my life. A long time ago, a close family friend tried to assure me, tried to keep me hoping that life would get better cause when you're young, you think you'll live forever and that the problem will keep on living with you forever as well. She said to me, I know what is going on in your home, I just don't know what to do about it. She waited for me to reveal anything about that chaos we were all living in but because my father constantly gave me secret tests,and that I don't think I ever passed, which led to a consequence, I didn't say anything. Through some tears I replied, I don't know what you are talking about.
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Even with our conversation about that long ago time, Doug and I mainly talked of the here and now and as always had a good laugh or two about life and the happenings.





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