With a day of below temps Roy and I took our time easing into the day. I slept in a bit, he had a quiet quiet time and we just finished up a lovely breakfast. We discussed and pondered over Genesis 9 and 10. Hey, isn't that everyone's topic of conversation today? I love his insights into scripture. He is my walking commentary but there are some mornings I can hold my own and this morning, much to all of our surprises, well except for The Boys for they care not for any discussions other than, mealtime, treats, naps and being petted, I went step by step with Roy. Now, I'm exhausted and might need that morning nap that The Boys rave about.
Several years ago before moving up this way, I had a quest. That quest was to find hardback notebooks made by Mead. The paper thick, the lines narrow. I had been told that Mead was in the process of discontinuing the production of both the regular and legal size. My job or obsession was to find and buy each and every notebook that could be found. Friends in different areas of town were shopping their Targets for me. In fact, on several road trip up this way, we stopped at every Target we could see from the freeway in the search. Finally, that day arrived that there were none to be found. Now, what to do with all those notebooks? Even if I journaled diligently each and every day, several pages at a time, I would never get through all those notebooks, until one day. In 2019 when I became the sole teacher of The Joy Class I discovered that teaching each week, that I did better with hand written notes. I remembered what I studied much better than printing out a lesson from a Word document. I used other notebooks until I remembered the container of hard back, narrow lined, thick paper notebooks. Perfect size and perfect notebook for study notes. Roy is using them as well, not for his lessons but for his quiet time reflections. Those notebooks were for such a time as this! We are both using the smaller size but those legal sized notebooks are just awaiting the call.
January 14th went by without a hitch, just like it has for so many years now. At one time in our life, Roy's father, my father and our dog Tiff had January 14th birthdays. The hitch was always my father's birthday because you knew going in it was never going to be good, but some years were better than others. This year I stumbled upon some really good information on narcissists. In depth information that has answered questions that I put on the shelf a long time ago. It has given me a better insight in the nuances in their outlook and ways. Any celebration, even one centered on him was usually sabotaged and taken hostage. Narcissists usually accuse you of what they are actually doing or they form opinions on what you aren't doing right, not that you would ever do something right. One thing my father said consistently was, "my best isn't good enough!" He was talking about something he had done for the family in that vein, but after a while my brother and I both picked up on the fact, that he didn't do his best. We, our family, was not deserving of his best because we were all pitiful. In fact, why couldn't we be like the so and so family? My therapist told me that being a strong willed child is what probably saved my life. Roy and I were talking during the holidays about some of those gifts that were never good enough for him. Not knowing anything back then and thinking there was something that could be done to win him over, one Christmas I had a ruby and small, minute, diamond ring melted down. I had the small diamonds and rubies placed on an initial pin for the lapel of suits, were all the rage back then. His initials. Y'all I was so happy how that all had turned out and thought he cannot dismiss this gift, especially since it was sentimental and a sacrifice. Well, I was wrong...it was dismissed so much so that he told me after a couple of months, he threw it away. Insert emotional stab wound. I have no doubt that he did cause I never saw it again. As with anyone with any gifts or talents, natural abilities, sometimes those things we have been so good at, start ebbing in strength. Singers feel that, athletic abilities, but I think artists might not see the ebb as much. As for my father, he couldn't keep up with his lies and stories as he aged. That steel trap mind trained for any slight, or a chance to slight or hurt showed the cracks. He could be caught now, his adroit lying wasn't as convincing. I would say the big lie he started involving us was his downfall as well as I didn't speak to him again once he had papers served cutting off communication with him or for his behalf. I don't think he factored in, that we didn't respond, we spoke with his lawyer once, then had to threaten legal action against her. The last thing I told her is, you see what he is doing to us, he is going to do the same to you and guess what, he did. With nothing to elevate his story, he had to make up more and more. It also helped that I was living in North Carolina. I wasn't there stealing his wallet, turning on the stove and running water. You starve a narcissist. There is nothing there to make them the victim which when their ways fail them, they turn it as harm against them. Over the years I have known a few more narcissists. Keeping a distance is key that is for sure.
We got a dusting of snow this morning. Sure was pretty watching it lazily falling in moderate flakes. The snow ended and now the sun is out. Wow, sometimes it feels like Texas with the weather but mostly not. A little more snow fell this afternoon but with the sun all evidence of snow has melted away.
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This morning is either a heavy frost or a bit of snow. The way the sunlight is hitting our front yard the frost or snow flakes glimmer like small diamonds. A little bit of snow might be falling now and is more visible in the front, once again because of the sun. There is beauty even in these cold, 8 degree temps.
"Always be on the lookout for the presence of wonder." EB White. I've always loved this quote. There is a lot of undiscovered wonder or at least that has been my experience. Using my One Word for 2024, Notice. Last night while turning off lamps in the front bedroom, the view is filled with light. Now the light exposed is the light of all the homes that have been built in the last couple of years. For a long time it was not a welcomed glow, but in the cold evening the lights, especially the two homes that are the closest to us brought extra light for the road. Workers in the home that hasn't sold left the porch light and the upstairs lights on. It was nice. The people who live in the other house are making the home theirs, got their mailbox set and Waste Pro garbage and recycling bins to the side of the porch.
Speaking of wonder, I wonder where I put a box that has some childhood relics of Sunday School past. I am looking for something in particular and won't need it until the following Sunday. You know, it is somewhere safe...so safe, I can't find the box. Speaking of boxes I ordered some fresh type food from a company I had never heard of but I took a chance. Had a package delivered for us and one for my brother. His order got caught up in the massive storm and the company emailed to let me know they had recalled the package from UPS due to the arrival past the expiration date. His delivery should make it tomorrow or Friday. But the boxes for this product are beyond good, sturdy box with lid. And there are quotes on the box as it relates to food or comfort or relaxing. Good boxes, delicious food and great quotes! That is a win, win, win in my mind.
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