Saturday, November 29, 2008

After Black Friday Comes Gray Saturday

It is an easy going morning. Leisurely breakfast and nothing too pressing this morning. Roy and I are going to the U of H -Rice game this afternoon. Although we both are Cougars, I think we will be rooting for Rice this afternoon. All season I have been telling Roy I would go to a game and it has worked out, barring post season play, that I am attending the last game of the season. Rice has become Roy's "wish I had gone there" university. After the way LSU let the game get away yesterday, you can see why he is looking for a pretend school right now. Actually, it is his love of college sports and the atmosphere and spirit of college games.

Yesterday morning I took a friend to the airport. I need to take packing lessons from her. If I was traveling as far and as long as she is, I would be packing at least two suitcases. She got everything in one and didn't even use her expand zipper or the outside pockets. That is one amazing packer. On the way home from the airport, I stopped at Starbucks, then headed home for a day of reading. It seems like I get so few days like that. I was in no way interested in Black Friday.

Family dynamics are interesting observations especially during the holidays. Everyone seems to slip back into the all too familiar role, well at least they do in my family. I tried to stay out of all the roles and rolls this holiday, but from time to time I would find myself reprising the part assigned to me so long ago. It has been some time since Thanksgiving has included anyone else but Roy and me and my parents. Doug, Nancy, the girls, and a friend Ronnie were here this year. My brother gave the evening an 85. It did go fairly well with no sarcastic words or put downs in his direction. After dinner Roy spent the rest of the evening setting up my dad's new computer which kept my dad out of the thick of things and in the office with Roy. To thank Roy, my dad did his customary put down of Roy who happens to be the smartest person in the room. It saddened me to watch my mom and her inability to process everything going on. Even though Nancy hasn't been around for the holidays at my parents for some time, she found herself in a role I am sure she wanted no part of. It felt like Doug and Nancy had never divorced. She had no hope of surviving in a sea of word wranglers and put down artists. I am very happy to report, I did not take part in that role. Praise Him!!! There were some all too familiar scenes reminiscent of an unhappy past that had a role. My dad was making his last gasping attempt to control everything about the evening, but alas he is not feared and his power diminished. Something did catch me by surprise. Nancy and the girls had left, Doug, Ronnie, Roy and I were staying around a little bit so that everyone didn't leave at once. As we were saying goodbye, I walked past my dad. He has never been one to take part in hugs and kisses good bye. He has always waved from a safe distance. He stopped me and asked if I was going to tell him goodbye...I was shocked. But I hugged him and thanked him for everything. He looked at me and here is where I got sucked in because I thought he might say something heartfelt. No, he only wanted to inform me that he had done more than prepare the brisket, he had done everything. Dang it, we were so close to a break through... It does give me hope that he is trying.

I woke up around 3:00 am Thursday morning and I took inventory of the prior evening. On the scale of holiday celebrations this was no where near the worst and maybe even placing in the top ten of all the years. There is still a lot wrong and here is where the enemy tries to trip me up, dwelling on all the wrong of the past and present, but I breezed past that into thanking God for His goodness and mercy. Thanking Him that He gives good gifts. Thanking Him for a glimpse of hope for family. After my time of prayer and praise was over, I turned over letting Buddy and Roy get situated and we all went back to sleep. We were ready to welcome in Thanksgiving Day.

1 comment:

FitzandMolly said...

change and progress is good, isn't it? even if it's only us. glad it wasn't disaster for you. we need to do tbd soon...