Wednesday, April 9, 2014

When The Past Keeps Wanting To Visit

This morning as I was getting brunch things together for Leadership Council, the phone call that I knew would be coming, came.  It was an officer from the Houston Police in the mental health area concerning elder abuse.  He was following up on the report my father had made on Roy and me harassing him with a bull horn and coming inside his house and moving things.  As the officer asked me questions and I answered them, the conversation changed course when he heard the case my dad had brought against us had been closed with APS.  There is a verse in Job that says, the thing I feared has come upon me and it looks like this verse is manifesting itself in my father's life.  He thought we were trying to have him committed on top of us "stealing" from him.  No on both counts.  Now he is in the crosshairs of the state and the police.  They will find out about the directive from the doctor to cease driving and the officer talked about having him put into assisted living or getting him medicated to stop the paranoia.  Several times while talking with the officer I teared up.  My voice was shaky because I never thought in a million years I would have to be answering these types of questions.  Even with the normal paranoia and conspiracy in his life, I never dreamed that my father would accuse or think me capable of doing anything like this to him.  After the call, I continued getting ready but I was fighting back a major cry.  Not so much out of sadness or loss but more like tears of relief.  I remember something I heard Jan Silvious say years ago on defining moments.  She said in our lifetime we have many moments that we will consider defining but each instance of a defining moment is just another moment in many moments of a lifetime.  The defining moment doesn't make you, if shows who you are and how you are responding.  Is there growth in your response.  There was a day that I would have considered these days defining but I don't think that anymore.  What he thinks or says about me isn't me at all.  My friend Eileen in Bible study today said, you should go home and play Mandisa's Overcomer as loud as possible.  That is a good word.

I completed a blog post last night and the above is the first paragraph.  Before posting what I wrote yesterday I decided to sleep on it.  This morning I know the rest of t I wrote is for another time or for a never time.  It helped me give structure to my thoughts to write out everything yesterday.  I do know that every time I write about this subject and the fact there is victory and hope, I get many private messages thanking me for sharing this particular journey.  For most of you reading it is almost impossible to get your mind around my lifetime experiences with evil that came in the form of a parent.  Others know exactly what I'm writing about and others have more horrid stories than my own.  I wouldn't even be writing about this now except for everything that has been happening in the past two years and more specifically the past few weeks, the past comes to visit even you've forgiven it and have moved on into a wonderful and happy life. 

This morning I am being treated to one of the most beautiful sunrises I've ever experienced in Rancho De Five.  It has that imagined Smokey Mountain look. 

After leadership council yesterday I stopped at Target and Home Goods.  While in San Antonio Dena and I found lots of good stuff at the Home Goods at The Rim.  Much bigger store and more selection.  I am in the process, like this is such a huge process, of replacing our coffee mugs.  They have to go when all those little cracks start showing up on the inside.  Yesterday, I walked through the aisles looking at mugs when I came across a tea pot in the shape of a lamb.  If you know me and my lamb collection, that tea pot was coming home with me.  The staff the sheep is holding has flock finder written on it.  Love that! 

I am making Biltmore grits again for Thursday's brunch.  I think I will make the whole recipe.  There weren't any left yesterday.  Those are some good grits. 

Today is the first time since my trip over the prayer rail that I actually feel good and not sore.  I don't know if it was my fall or if my knees are not taking to the injections like they've done before.  There is a lot less pain, but still significant pain.  Maybe the third shot next week will do the trick. 

Today is a dentist day so I'd better start getting ready. 

No comments: