Hints

Here are a few of my time tested hints for living. You will either have more time or more fun. These hints for living have come to me from various sources, but mainly I learned these truths when I was in my 20's from older and wiser women. Now that I find myself on the older but not too sure of the wiser side of life, I feel it is my duty to share these precious nuggets with you.

• If you have run out of time and not prepared anything for the salad luncheon or pot luck supper at the church here is a tip that takes a step out of preparation. Take your serving bowl to the store's deli. Choose the salad, veggie, fruit, etc... they will weigh it on the scale then transfer it to your dish and wrap it up with plastic wrap. Pay and go straight to the party.
• If you have friends who like to pop in and you haven't cleaned the house, before answering the door prominently display the vacuum cleaner where your guests can see it as they enter your house. Look them straight in the eye and with the most serious voice tone let them know they just caught you in the middle of cleaning house. They will return that serious news with an all knowing acknowledging head bob. Of course they may think they have caught you at the beginning of your cleaning.
• I learned this from my 4th grade Sunday School teacher. If someone has stolen the parking place you patiently waited for, go find another spot. Come back to their car with Vicks Vapor Rub. Rub some under the door handle so that when the person returns and opens their car door something gooey and stinky is on their fingers. Even after several hand washing the lingering fragrance of Vicks stays with them most of the day. (buy it in the tube so you only have to squeeze it in place and not get any on your hands)
• This next suggestion is something you should not really do, but the last time I did it was at an event at Second Baptist. George Bush was the governor of Texas then and spoke at Second one Saturday evening. The place was packed and parking a premium. We had to park across the street in a parking garage. I was getting ready to back into a spot when this guy pulls in and snags it. I was not very happy cause he laughed and said... "to the quick comes the parking spot." Long story short I dogged his steps all the way into the church where we were instructed to go to overflow seating in the gym. This guy paid no attention to the usher and dragged his girlfriend into the sanctuary. Roy and I decided not to stay, but on our way back to the car I was searching my purse. Roy said, "you didn't bring Vicks did you?" Drat it,no. But I did have gum. I chewed all the gum I had and returned to this guys car. I took a very little piece and applied it to the tips of his windshield wiper. Not enough to impede his vision but enough to be irritating when it rained. This causes some of the best streaking. Of course I put it under the door handles. I asked Roy if he had seen my handiwork and he replied no cause someone was going to have to defend me in a court of law. I would not choose Roy for that...need a good lawyer letter he is the guy, but in the courtroom, he has no poker face.

Well, these are just a few of my hints. The last two I don't think I would do anymore cause people have lost their sense of practical pranks, but I have to tell you they are a lot of fun. The first two hints are lifesavers.