Mildred and Gertrude

I thought it was about time to add Mildred and Gertrude to the blog. Peggy and I have been doing this for over 20 years. In the 1986 Christmas Pageant at First Baptist we got our beginnings as a time filler in order for the choir to be able to change into concert clothes. So, we were two old ladies on the way to an Oilers game in the Astrodome when we encountered a bunch of traffic, thought we were at the Dome and came in. Of course we walk right on stage and we are looking for our seats only to be told we are at the Christmas Pageant. We decide to stay but before we go to our seats we were going to get nachos and a beer. Shocked the Baptists so Gertrude (Peggy) says you can't say beer in a Baptist church, I don't think you can even say nachos in a Baptist church. And thus we began our careers as M&G. Our first non Pageant gig was Trevelyn Rays 50th birthday party. Since then we have done many events all around the state of Texas. M&G are going national with two gigs this summer in Alabama. Peggy loves costumes and has many options to chose from when we perform. I don't like wearing costumes at all, but once I am Millie, it is OK. By the way I am the tall one. It freaks me out when I have the whole gear going because I look like my grandmother. My cousins confirmed that I had the whole Grandma Doss look going on. When Peggy and I started neither of us needed glasses. Now if we didn't highlight our hair we wouldn't even need wigs. We hate to say our lines in practice with each other. In fact, we have a deal tomorrow and instead of studying my lines I am writing about us instead. Our two most embarrassing moments as M&G would be the time we were M&G for Super Ministry Night at First Baptist and we were the warm up act before Marge Caldwell spoke. We wear latex gloves as we make our Spam turkey. Gerti makes the latex pop as she put on the gloves and said, "girls don't we love to hear that sound at the Dr. office." The room went wild with laughter...we turned our backs we were laughing so hard. For a moment we thought we would have to look for a new church home. The second funniest thing that happened was at Jersey Village Baptist Church. We were doing a new script about not fitting into any type of women's ministry. Mistakenly Millie thinks that the Spring Fling is a lunch fling. Finally something for the athletic woman to participate in. We build the whole thing by telling our misadventures in women's ministry...to the conclusion we have brought somethings to fling our lunch...thong panties, a pair of my long panty hose and finally a water balloon launcher...(used at youth camps a lot). We begin our practice launching with ping pong balls and nerf balls. We are doing this to Cheryl Lynn's song, Got To Be Real. Now here is the deal, we never rehearsed the fling thing...we just figured it would all work just how we imagined it. Thong fling good, panty hose launch, works...water balloon launch...well... for starters two people should be holding it for launching purposes. Peggy is standing in front of me holding both ends. I pull back the launcher complete with nerf ball, way back to be able to shoot this sucker across the large room. I let it go and instead of launching the ball across the room it shoots right into the back of Peggy's head. Her wig and hat flies into the second row onto a table full of women. She turns and looks at me and we start laughing hard...so hard that she says, "I am wetting my pants on stage." I told her, "why do you think I am dancing around cause I am wetting my pants as well!" We ran off the stage to a standing ovation but we were in hot pursuit of the ladies room. Well, guess I had better work on lines. I re-wrote the much loved song over sung "Friends are Friends Forever" and need to work on the words. Thanks for reading and I will let you know how tomorrow goes. If you think of us between 2 and 4 tomorrow, say a prayer.