Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Here Comes the Storm

It was a dark, overcast morning. Actually, this morning looked very much like yesterday morning when we had just a small bit of rain. Nothing else all day. So, this morning I figured I'd be able to do all my errands after the appointment at the cardiologist. Because I knew there wasn't going to be any storm. I left early because of the uncertainty of parking in the garage. I've been joking about wresting Crown Victorias and Town Cars for parking spots. Well, God has a sense of humor because even as I tried to beat a Town Car to the entrance of the garage by going a different way, the lady ran the stop sign to get in front of me. She didn't have a clue the game I was playing, trying to just drive to the top floor. She was playing her own style of game, get there to snag the first available parking place. Yep, God's sense of humor as my journey to the top of the garage was slowed down by eagle eye Town car driver. Actually, I ended up with a lot of time to fill. So I sat in the car and wrote in my heart journal, updated my Facebook status and finally decided to take a slow journey toward my appointment desperately trying not to look like I was one of those people who arrive way too early for appointments.

Kind of strange, that the waiting room was a bunch of old men and me. This is the first time that I wasn't actually back in a little room waiting for the Dr at appointment time. They were running late. Did the weigh in, did the update with the nurse and sat back in the chair waiting for the Dr. It seemed like it was going to go smoothly. The nurse was practically glowing at my weight loss progress since December. Heck I practically started glowing.

The Dr came in, asked me the usual stuff. I showed him my latest blood work results from my other Dr, he took my blood pressure, 100/70 and then listened to my heart. He looked through my chart and said you need to do an echo cardiogram today. Much to my disappointment Chris isn't there anymore. I owe him big. He made room in his schedule to get me in for an echo cardiogram on September 11, 2008 and he saved my life by doing so. Just as the echo cardiogram began, a huge peal of thunder rattled the building. The tech said, here comes the storm. Her words were not lost on me at all because all of last year I studied storms in the Bible asking God to show me what I needed to learn. When she told me to lean back I actually watched the monitor to see my heart. It is Doppler technology that shows the image of a heart. Doppler is used in tracking storms and rain. The sound always gets to me because it is not the bum bump sound like from a stethoscope. The heart beat sounds like sloshing through water on a echo cardiogram monitor.

So "here comes the storm", the right side of my heart is enlarged. I can now add another bottle to the picture from yesterday's post. More people have the left side of their heart enlarged but I am in the 1 in every 20 group of right siders. More than likely it is still the effects of the viral attack of 2008 but probably complicated by liver and kidney issues that are just waiting to be discovered. That appointment is next week... This explains why my "heart" cough is back and why I awake sometimes in the night with a sensation of drowning. There is a good chance of blood congestion in and around my lungs. Y'all, this was not the news I even anticipated to hear. There is more to tell, but I think that information is going to stay with God, Roy and me.

So, "here comes the storm." I am processing the news which at times upsets me, but not really. Ha, more like the waves of knowing hitting me. I am not depressed or mad, but my mindset is serious. I'm asking the Lord for wisdom in knowing what to do. I'm gathering information to know how to weather this storm and what can I do health wise. What other changes need to be made? Am I going to Deadliest Catch waters?

As soon as my appointment was over, the storm stopped...momentarily. It stopped long enough for me to get to my car. I'm not kidding the moment I shut the door of the car, the rain fell hard from the heavens and the lightning shone brightly around me. I called Roy to tell him everything. I punted my errands to Target and Office Max but did take paperwork to the bank. While I was over that way, I decided to see, if by chance, if the Nord Rack had any parking since it was such a rainy day. A rainy day was a good day to go to the Rack around lunchtime. Found a couple pair of shoes of one of my favorite brands, deeply discounted. At least as I walk through the storm with my head held high, my feet are stylishly arrayed and comfortable.


Amanda said...

Nancy, I do not know exactly what to say, but I'm really sorry you got tough news. It sounds really serious. I'm praying for you!

courtney said...

Mon, I am so sorry - you've been working so hard, and to hear such disappointing news...I don't know what to say. Let me know if I can do anything (besides praying, which I'm doing).

Anonymous said...

Nancy, your words about walking stylish with your head held high caused me to look up the song you referenced "You'll never walk alone". Below are the words which you probably already know. As you walk through yet another storm, you have many friends praying for you. May God reveal Himself in a more intimate way and calm the storm within. Darlene

"When you walk through a storm,
Hold your head up high,
And don't be afraid of the dark,
At the end of the storm is a golden sky.
And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown,
|: Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone.
You'll never walk alone :|"

Anonymous said...

NancyMon - I read your blog last night and couldn't even post - because no words seemed adequate. It really made me sad to hear your disappointment-and I'm with CourtneyS - if there is anything besides praying. . . please don't hesitate to ask.


Vicky said...

Keep on walking friend. I have come to the conclusion that the only time things seem to rock along smoothly is when He's giving us a breather from that refinement process. I'm praying for better reports! You are an inspiration!