What Do You Want?

It is an early rising day out here on the prairie.  I'm taking in the beautiful sunrise and listening to the happy cat chirping from Buddy while she watches the birds catching an early breakfast of seeds.  They'll have to provide their own worm. 

***At this point in the morning I realized I should be getting ready for leadership meeting and not blog.  So I wrote the rest of this in the afternoon.***

I keep thinking about a conversation I had this weekend with a friend from the reunion.  We were still in the childbearing years when we all kind of drifted apart, so she asked about kiddos.  She and her husband adopted three siblings and they are teenagers now.  Then I asked about another friend to see if she kept up with them and much to my surprise she told me that my friend at the age of 51 had twins.  WHAT?????  She never wavered in her prayer to have children.  Thankfully all the necessary equipment had been removed by the time I was 51, but when I was 46 my Dr asked me if we would like to go through treatment again, since infertility treatments had made leaps and bounds since back in the day.  I was shocked he would even ask me that at that ripe old age.  Are you kidding?  I told him we were too set in our ways to be thinking about raising children.  51!  No kidding I just broke out in a cold sweat which is totally different than a hot flash.  Now there's a picture being menopausal and having preschool aged children.  See, that totally got me off track.  Anyway, my friend I was talking to on the phone said she got this word from the Lord.  He asked her do you want to be pregnant or do you want to parent?  Whoa!  That is a deep, thought provoking question.  Do I want to sing or do I want to worship? Do I want to say and look good or do I want to get my hands dirty, get to the nitty gritty?  Do I want to serve or have a ministry?  Do I want to speak or do I want to teach?  Do I want to be funny or do I want His joy?  As you can tell there are many questions to ask and y'all know me, I sometimes don't ask myself the hard questions but I desire to be able to answer these questions honestly and thoughtfully. 

Today was leadership meeting for CBS.  We had a great time answering and discussing the homework.  I love how a room of women united in purpose can have such deep insight into the scriptures and we all come from different places and seasons in life.  Our teaching director led us in a leadership study this morning after we had our prayer time, homework discussion and announcements.  She believes in equipping each and every woman in that room to be fully engaged in their calling and to be prepared for the next level of leadership that God gives direction to.  I'm not talking about upward movement to a high powered position but she is so encourages to help us see, understand and use the gifts and talents God has given to us and to use those gifts to His glory.  Each member of the servant team is prayerful, encouraging and serves with the strength and power of the Lord not from inspiration or insecurity or with an eye open so they can "read the room."  It is a privilege to serve under their leadership.  After a few years of frustration in not being asked, considered or allowed or to be used to walk in God's calling upon my life, it is wonderful to have a fresh view and vision who God created me to be. 

The other day I saw a great picture of joy overflowing.  Most birds that visit our yard come for the grub and a few use the bird bath for a drink of water, but the other day I watched a baby mockingbird play in the birdbath.  That bird was soaked from jumping and splashing as it went around the birdbath.  Playful as it jumped over and over and over again across the bubbling small fountain of water smack dab in the middle.  That same bird returned this morning for a light grain breakfast and after it had finished being pushed and pecked at by other birds at the trough it began to slide down the shepherd hook that holds the feeders.  At first I thought it was an accident that the little bird slid but that crazy fun loving bird flew right back to the top of the pole and slid down again numerous times.  Each time that bird landed on the ground it would fluff it's feathers and flap its wings almost like it was laughing. 

Last night I planted the distressed and deeply discounted zinnias that we bought at Lowe's.  They perked up quite nicely overnight.  I hear Buddy chattering at the birds again, so I better go see if there is anything to see.  Lots and lots of bird fights happen, lots of bird pomp and circumstance.  Truth be told it should be lots of poop and circumstance.