I know you are going to be so jealous when I tell you what I did last night. I went to the joint pain management seminar at Houston's Methodist Hospital West. We learned last night that the new branding of Methodist Hospitals in the Houston area is adding Houston before Methodist because there are eighty plus Methodist named hospitals in the United States. The lady that did the introductions of the two doctors gave the details of the new look brand of Methodist Hospital. By the looks of those around me, I was the only one enjoying the information and the story of arriving at this decision.
Dag nab it, I'm here about pain. No I am here about MY pain and I will talk to anyone and everyone who will listen. And the free food... Oh and to learn about pain management....was probably the story of 95% of the people in attendance.
Before the seminar you could do the flexibility test. I flunked but barely. If you know me at all you know I do not get down onto the floor because bending the knees to get back up is well...embarrassing and difficult. Trooper that I am, after the brief spiel by the tall and fit young woman, I got down on the floor to do the test. Difficulty number one, please straighten your knees. Uh, this is straight. No straight and flat on the floor. Sweetheart this is as good as it is going to get. I did what she told me to do and I flunked by .6 of a point. Hey I flunked higher than I thought I would. The sporty girl watched in shock as I maneuvered myself into a position to get up, I am so tempted to write gracefully but that would be hyperbole. When I finally stood up and dusted myself off I said to her this is what volleyball, softball and tennis will do to you. Fun while young, hell when you are older. Then I was sent to the physical therapy area and I was hoping that they were going to work out the kinks in me but I was handed a couple of fliers informing me how I can stretch. That's when I did old lady thing number one; I asked a question so that I could tell her of my own situation. I almost hit myself when the question slipped out. I was instructed to help myself to some delicious snacks, little sandwiches, fruit and cookies, but I only helped myself to some Crystal Light Lemonade. This so could have been taken for a church informative function because that's the menu we served religiously...ha ha... I went inside the conference room and selected a chair on the back row. Again, I could reference church seating. Scored some pens, paper and a little ice like pad. I need more than a 6 inch pad, I need about seventy of those to stitch together. The second time I went old lady was, dropping my pen and while attempting to pick it up my arm got stuck between the chairs. After some wiggling around I was finally able to rescue my dignity and gain release for my arm.
For the longest time I was the youngest participant there. Mainly older types, gone gray, complete with walkers. Also at what point do you stop caring what you wear? They looked like little old robotic people eating their snacks and when they were finished, they sat there with their mouths wide open looking off into space. Kind of reminded me of the birds outside the window that open their beaks and puff up to look big and strong. This was not the look these people were going for. The doctors were very informative and I learned a lot. I mainly went to get a glimpse of the doctors and their personalities so I can make an informed appointment. At some point in the presentation Roy came to the seminar, not for pain management but for plans of going to dinner together afterwards. Roy is a little squeamish when it comes to medical things, low gag reflex. He could not watch the power point slides of before and after joint replacement or this is what frozen shoulder looks like...you get the picture. He spent most of the time looking to the side wall. The first doctor had better graphic slides. Too bad Roy wasn't there for those.
All in all the presentation was good and I think I know which doctor I am going to call for an appointment. They need to learn how to wrap up a seminar and only take so many questions or should I say so many questions that related to the person who was looking for a free diagnosis. They don't know it but they could learn to shut it down from a meeting at church or from politicians. Although I didn't want to because I thought it looked rude, we left and headed over to Tony's for some Tex Mex.
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