Full Circle, Full Life

Rancho De Five got a few showers this afternoon.  I can hear thunder so I haven't gone out to get the garbage can yet.  The rain came at a great time because the lawn care man was here yesterday putting out fertilizer and stuff for cinch bugs.  Little did I know this time two or three years ago I would even be concerned with such things. 

It seems like life is coming around full circle and it feels like this season is about to wrap up and change is on the way.  Final steps with the monitor for my heart and so far all the reports have been good.  If I can just keep up with remembering to wear it, no I wear the monitor it is the Blackberry that transmits the data that I cannot keep up with.  Also with four electrode wires all over the place, it is easy to button the wires in the buttons on shorts, capris and pants.  Think I am coming down with a bad case of the whiplash due to the shortened wires. 

Tomorrow will probably be my last appointment with my therapist.  Not because I am normal now, ok that just made me laugh, but because she is retiring to the country with her husband.  She will now help the cows and the chickens feel good about themselves and deal with changes.  Depending on tomorrow's conversation, I might try to fit another session in before she shuts down everything in August.  Cheryl saved my life, at least my emotional life and I am eternally grateful for her good work.  Many a time I have quoted her and then say I paid thousands of dollars for this and I am giving it to you for free.  Of course you get what you pay for but I can't help but think that someone has been helped and restored with the wise words of Cheryl.  It is not unusual to be with a group in Bible study or just a group of friends and someone will say something that seems very Cheryl like and it never fails we all huddle up afterwards and say, do you see Cheryl?  Of course if we mentioned our discovery of fellow clients or patients or whatever we are called to Cheryl she can neither confirm or deny our existence.  Through the years Cheryl has helped me make some very wise decisions and when I sputtered, stopped and started again, her encouragement was the fuel I needed.  She helped me see my unrealistic expectations and so thankful that she got me to make less visits to my fearless zone.  Oh my, there is a lot that can go wrong there in the fearless zone, not to mention all the energy that it took.  I learned from Cheryl that emotions take energy and being so limited with energy due to my heart, did I want to give limited energy to being fearless and I might mention being  dumb, but she used a professional counseling term not dumb. There were those times when I lived for that encouraging hug when leaving her office.  Yes!  I could make it another week.  The past few years I have just needed a few 5000 mile check ups thanks to her good work and foundation from several years ago.  Just last month  a couple of incidents that would have put me over the edge a few years ago became just another episode in the long line of episodes.  The drama was just that, drama that didn't hold any meaning and wasn't going to affect the day to day good life we have.  Even as I began this heart journey, her counsel kept my eyes on recovery and not getting bogged down in the unknown and the uncertain.  Cheryl helped me go through the grief process of my mother's passing, the delay of her service of several weeks, hosting the family dinner afterwards in our home without any church or outside help, and facing the rigors and unrealistic expectations that would be directed toward me by a family member.  I was not caught by surprise when everything began to happen and unravel. Whatever emotions and feelings I had were wiped out with a series of incidents that once again dashed hope but validated the knowledge and erased any sense of believing we are loved when there is a lifetime of evidence to the contrary.  She gave me the tools to make one of the most courageous decisions that I have ever made in my life and I have not looked back.  Thank you seems like it isn't enough but I am so very thankful for Cheryl. 

This week my friend Beth is coming back to town for what looks to be a rather haphazardly planned high school reunion but hey, our class didn't even have a 40th reunion, so I am not complaining.  Beth and I are going to drive out and see Mimi Friday evening.  Then Saturday night is the reunion.  Can I tell you that Roy is just so excited to go. 

We are excited about the season of friends moving out here to Rancho De Five.  When we moved out here two years ago we knew Peggy and Bill and I knew a handful of people from CBS.  Oh and smattering of other friends from church, but you know what I mean.  With David and Emily getting Cincotized and with Dena moving out to the Rancho in about a month...we are blessed. 

The season of too few restaurants to choose from out here is coming to a close as well.  Several really great places will be out here, maybe even by the beginning of 2014.  The Grand Parkway to 290 will be open...

Full circle, full life...