A couple of weeks ago I was talking with a friend about how perspective is changed when one experiences or has a near death experience. We were talking about a friend of hers and the huge change in them. Since my friend and I have both experienced the near death kind of deal, we knew a little about those changes that come about. It is not a sudden realization but somehow slowly but surely you begin to determine what's really important, what should energy be given to and to let things go a little faster that really don't matter. If you are legalistic, you loosen up a bit. If you're a grudge holder, you quit holding onto that trash...well at least you let a little bit of it go over time. You don't hold those too close to your heart that repeatedly hurt or ignore you, those who do not have your best interest at heart and enjoy a little too much your defeat or setbacks. One begins to be a better picker of battles to let pass and knowing which wars are worth fighting for. I guess her friend had little compassion for others, thrived at being in the know and tended toward wanting to always be right and having the last word. Then near death....and recovery...and then the gradual take over of gratitude and a greater generosity in all things and a welcoming demeanor that hadn't always been present. My friend and I had some inward inspection during that conversation and thankful for the changes that have come about. For me, there are less trips to my fearless zone...maybe even more of a filter not feeling the need to express my displeasure or the irony of situations. Amusing myself at the expense of others weaknesses is almost non-existent. Almost...not quite. I am mindful that every day is a gift and the little things do matter. There is surprisingly an abundance of joy from laying down dreams, expectations and desires. Life is much better not being all knotted up over situations, at least for me not being as knotted up as I used to be. Writing all this is not to say I don't experience the ups and downs of life, that I don't get aggravated at things or lose my patience, it is knowing when to shut that down before it gets out of hand and it is knowing a much more peaceful approach to living.
Yesterday morning I listened to Insight for Living on the radio and Charles Swindoll was addressing a group of 8th graders. He taught so much wisdom from Ezra and Daniel in wise decisions. Ezra set about to put into practice and teach what he had studied. I mean really, Charles Swindoll has such depth and can communicate it so well. All this from Ezra resonates with me since Dena had taught an in depth Bible study on the book. I had forgotten about the verses that said the good hand of the Lord was upon me because____________. The translation that I am currently using says the gracious hand of the Lord.
It is now Wednesday and this morning I am so thankful for the gracious hand of the Lord. Yesterday, our core group from last year got together at Peggy's for fun at the lake. And yes, we had lots of fun. Before going over to Peg's I had emailed the ortho's insurance and scheduling nurse. I was curious to know if the injections had been approved. When I hadn't heard back from her in the afternoon, I ran home to make some calls. First to CVS and yes the prescription dosage had been resolved, the prescription was ready. Then I called the doctor office and got the nurse on the first ring. Yes, the injections had been approved and we will begin that process next week. Got the appointments set up for the next three weeks. On my way back to Peggy's the cardiologist office called wondering if I could move up my appointment to tomorrow which is today. Yes! Yesterday morning I felt this was going to be some long drawn out deal but the gracious hand of the Lord was upon the situation. I am thrilled to proceed. Last night I took my first Ultram ER and I felt the good effects from it. My knees did not wake me up in the middle of the night! The difference this time though, I take two pills a day instead of one at night. So we will see how this works. The pill makes me sleepy. It also has a good effect on my ADD. Oh happy day!
Now, I must get everything picked up for Chris.
No comments:
Post a Comment