Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Hope Before, During and After the Wreckage-Then Surprise!

Oh welcome Monday morning, not too many say that, but this morning's sunrise over the prairie was panoramic beauty of God's creation.  It has been a while observing a sunrise out here.  The early morning phone call from Roy got me on my feet with a cup of coffee in hand to begin this day of earnest packing.  Although I have only begun the day, no packing has taken place of yet.

Saturday and Sunday packing, oh yes...we got quite a bit done.  We concentrated on the bigger projects that need two people and projects where one person has good knees and that would be Roy.  When we moved to the prairie a little over three years ago, we did such a purging and we have been good about continually going through things yet, I am surprised over the amount of stuff.  And, we aren't even moving a whole house load of stuff!  Before the weekend I have been working on getting winter things put away and going through shoes one more time to determine what goes, what stays and what will be given away.  I am thrilled not to have tons of paper items to go through since we have been trying to go paperless and we have been more organized with all of that.  It is also good to know in the back of my mind that everything does not have to go because we are not selling our Rancho De Five home.

Oh welcome Tuesday morning, the fog is receding and revealing an overcast sky.  The tree on the green space, closest to our fence has already began sprouting new spring leaves.  I promise on Sunday that tree was void of any foliage.

A whole lot of hard work went on yesterday and it is good to check off several more of the biggies on the to do list.  There would have been a whole lot more work going on except I am rather sentimental and as I came across a few things, I'd stop and remember.  Mainly laughing but a few tears came close to spilling.  I've been reading Stitches, A Handbook on meaning, hope and repair by Anne Lamott and her thoughts are weaving so congruently with my thoughts from the past few weeks and into the weeks that are to come.  This quote from her book, "a promise that we do endure, and that out of the wreckage something surprising will rise."  Early she writes about our hope during and after chaos and tragedy, after loss and unanswered questions and we are taken back to the empty tomb surely a beautiful picture of surprise for the women and the disciples.  We stand there grieving the empty but we don't realize that great hope and life come from that emptiness.  When we do see this, it is like wildflowers or bulbs that grow into beautiful flowers from beneath the rocky, hard earth.  As poignant as Anne Lamott is, she is very funny and into this deep moment she interjects that Mary, the mother of Jesus, didn't stand there at the cross and tell everyone, don't worry, He'll be back in a couple of days.

So...this out of the wreckage something surprising will rise hasn't left me while I work at packing things for the Ander House.  The wreckage in my life has been all too real, all too cruel and at times almost unbearable.  Some of it I have written about but most of it has been kept to my journals.  While I pack with anticipation of a great adventure, some of my friends are saddened by my departure, for a while.  I am too in a way, I will miss the close proximity of friends and although early in our marriage Roy traveled for great lengths of time, I don't know how this will feel now.  Back then, when we were adjusting to married life and dealing with the baggage we both had dragged into our marriage, we kind of appreciated the breaks, but now Roy and I are so much closer and have a deeper understanding of what makes us tick.  We loved each other back then but we really love each other now.  He is a good man in his desire for me to feel good and to have a better chance of living out life, feeling the best I can possibly feel and having a life that involves being able to get out and about instead of staying at home dodging the heat that creates chaos in my heart and system.  But back to friends, Roy was a nice detour, anyway, in a couple of months when I am settling into life in the mountains, life on the prairie will be going full swing.  More than likely that is when I will be saddened by my departure, feeling nostalgic and then probably miffed because my friends haven't come to visit yet.  Yep, patience is my best thing ever...no not really....did you believe me there for a moment?

OK, you know that thing I wrote about organization and paper...ha!  That is how I felt until today working in the casita bedroom.  Oh my goodness!  Several months ago I gave hundreds of journals, not used, but new to Dayspring, the Life Bible Study class I attend, rarely.  Anyway, I thought I had culled down the journals to a workable number.  Ha!  I live to laugh!  There too I found all kinds of stuff I use in my artful journaling.  I believe I could sell supplies online or open up a office supply/scrapbook/unusual papers stand...like a lemonade stand at the bottom of my street in NC.  You would know bottom of street since all the streets here in Rancho De Five are pretty much flat.  I could save everyone that twenty minute trip into Asheville or thirty minute trip into South Asheville.  Oh well, sorting through everything when I get there will help me be patient and occupied until my friends start coming up to see me and experience the peace and pace of the mountains.

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