Thursday, April 12, 2012

Arise, Awake, Go Out in Joy, Be Led in Peace

Once again the sunrise this morning was spectacular.  Early mornings aren't my best thing but I am finding truth in early mornings are the best thing for me.  The mist that rises off the "water element" that our home is next t0, the dew on the grass, the early birds getting the worms and the fresh seed I've put out for them.  This morning Little Bunny Foo Foo made a visit to our backyard.  If this is the same rabbit that we saw before, he or she has grown and turned out to be a fine rabbit.  The treat was watching Bunny Foo Foo performing morning grooming rituals and making its way through the side yard and out the front gate.  Thankful that no snake sightings were made, but the snake identifier and wasp spray are never too far from my reach.  Such a peaceful morning after experiencing a somewhat tumultuous afternoon the day before.

Every other Wednesday the housekeeper comes so of course you know Wednesday morning is spent getting the house ready for her arrival.  My father's attorney and I had been emailing back and forth pinpointing the time and place for our meeting.  I inquired if we could just talk on the phone but she said she had something she wanted to give me from my father. The plan was to meet at 3:30.  So once Chris got here, I left home really not knowing what I was going into but dutifully did my errands and made a drop off at KCM and headed into Houston.  Made a stop at Memorial Bakery for iced cookies to take for brunch at Bible study today.  Since our meeting was to take place in the Galleria area, I headed over to the Rack to wait for the phone call.  The attorney's directions and Google maps did not help and after going to the wrong building and madly searching for the right building sans GPS because my phone froze up, I drove around trying to figure out just where in the heck she was.  It has slipped my mind how small parking places are in business garages and visitor parking is a premium.  My stress limit had almost been reached even before the meeting.  I don't really feel like I can go into all the particulars of our meeting, at least not yet.  What I heard wasn't a surprise but the extent to which the attorney, my father and his posse had gone to was way beyond what I expected.  During the conversation and questioning, I was never asked the obvious question point blank nor were the accusations spelled out, but I certainly understood the pains that had been taken to exact judgement whether there was guilt or my goodness the most obvious view of my innocence.  I was given a legal document that pretty much spells out a complete severance of relationship.  Yet, the attorney kept mentioning reconciliation some day and truthfully I told her, I just didn't see how that was going to happen.  One of the last things she said to me before we parted ways was, I am going to tell your dad that you are sorry and I am telling you right now that he is sorry.  WHAT?  I never said I was sorry and if I did that would be an admittance of guilt, so I am not sorry because I didn't do anything!   We didn't take his money or stocks or bug his phone or put a tracker on his cell.  We haven't been in his house setting off timers and turning on lights or running water!  I searched for him out of concern when the nurse called and the pay back is suspicion and separation. 

I left stressed, in shock and a little sad but as the evening went on it was more anger at what had transpired.  I would tear up from time to time but I never sat down and bawled my eyes out.  This morning I woke up and two lines from a song played over and over in my spirit, "my chains are gone, I've been set free!"  My heart and spirit were not heavy, I experienced in a new way, the Lord's compassions that are new every morning.  There was a lightness to my step and several at Bible study commented that I had lightness about me that they hadn't seen in me for quite some time. 

Of course I have been talking to Roy about everything that has transpired.  During one of the conversations he asked if I had made a decision on a piece of outdoor furniture.  I had my choices narrowed down to two similar styles but one was a few more dollars than the other but both had free shipping.  He laughed and said order the one you want.  We will put it together...Uh oh another DIY project and we will raise it as an Ebenezer.  OK, I know rocks are usually built together to make an Ebenezer but we are going with wood.  Guess we will have a Cedarnezar. 

Arise, awake, go out in joy, be led in peace.  Those are the words I heard in my spirit in January from the Lord for this year.  It is choosing joy instead of harsh words, it is His peace that leads me through this road filled with pitfalls, rocks and dust set for me.  How can I be weary?  How can I have no hope?  It is the Lord's strength and His Word that brings comfort and stability! 

I met a friend for dinner last night and we decided to eat Chinese food.  I laughingly told her we could not order the happy family entree because I just couldn't eat that dish with a good conscience.  It is sad that my dad is so deceived and he gives into vain imaginings.  He is gifted in taking ordinary circumstances and devising wild conspiracy theories that produce such drama, duplicity and pain.   Life didn't have to be this way but in my opinion, he's not ever chosen any other path to walk.


Susantwilhelm said...

Nancy -- prayers for you, my friend. I cannot imagine how difficult this all is, but know that your faith will carry you through.

Jennifer said...

I am so sorry for everything you are going through right now. Praying for you!

marty h said...

You can order Happy Family because we are your family - the one God gave you when you came into His Kingdom. I am thankful you are filled with His joy today. Love you, sister. From your Happy Family member, Marty