Thursday, February 6, 2014

Dork, ABC and a Hot Mess

It is downright cold outside.  The wind is blowing from the north and cuts right through ya.  I wore a heavy coat this morning to Bible study and had gloves in a pocket just in case.  I should have worn the gloves.  We had a great time this morning.  Good discussion and a lot of thought provoking questions.  I came home early because I woke up with a sore throat.  The is a definite sign for me to slow down because my immune system is either shut down or working overtime.  I made a quick stop at Kroger's for fresh squeezed orange juice on the way home. 

Roy came home energized and full from the open house at Costco last night.  He was excited about the samples and he really liked the layout of the store, so different from the one on Bunker Hill.  He stopped and got a milkshake on the way home because he had eaten a lot of spicy items.  He plans to make a return trip sometime this weekend.  I only get this excited about store openings within the Nordstrom range of stores. 

I am such a dork but that isn't news.  On FB the other night, the Baylor Alumni organization had posted pictures from their luncheon for Alumni By Choice.  I looked at all the pictures and read the blurb on that day's ceremony with great interest.  There were wonderful stories.  I sat here and cried after I read everything.  It would have been bitter tears many years ago because I had been accepted to go, even had my roommates in Collin's assigned.  I had worked all summer, doing double shifts at AstroWorld saving every bit of my earnings for college, for Baylor.  There is a long story that goes with this tale and I am not even going to give the short version, but basically through circumstances that I could not understand at the age of 18 I was forbidden to go.  It broke my spirit.  I went on to U of H but I hated it and when my last friend had transferred away or decided to quit, that is when I too began to look for a way out.  I was so jealous of anyone who attended Baylor.  The first time I visited the campus, I fell in love.  I brought home a t-shirt and just about wore out that thing from wearing it so often.  My heart belonged to the green and gold even if everything else about me had to be elsewhere.  Through the years when you do the dreaded "table talk" or just talking with friends, and the subject of your biggest regret is worked in, not attending Baylor, it was my biggest regret.  It was the dream that would never happen.  But life goes on, I went to work, fell in love and married.  Even in all this happiness and growing up that warm, tender place in my heart for Baylor came along with me as life continued onward.  About every three months I have a Baylor dream and the constant in each of these dreams is, in the dream I am always the age that I am in real life.   It finally got to the point that not going to Baylor was not my biggest regret and the bitterness faded away.  I even came to the point that even if I had been able to attend, my time there would have probably been more miserable than I could imagine. I would have been there, getting a wonderful education, but I wouldn't have been able to participate in much of anything. There was always a high price to pay when it came to happiness and my life would have become a constant punishment because of someone who didn't desire me to have a good life or be able to accomplish more than graduating from high school.  When you have been told your whole life the only two things that I'd be qualified to do career wise was, to push the ice tea cart at a cafeteria or become a nanny, there isn't much encouragement to go on to greater things.  No, the tears I shed were of pure joy and happiness of those getting their ABC )Alumni By Choice) certificate.  Each one in those pictures were with great joy and huge smiles.  I cried because I was so happy for them and I even dared to think what if....  What if I were able to attend the next luncheon, I think I would be a hot mess standing there with that certificate. 

The kitchen is a hot mess, so better get in there and just do enough to call it a mess. 

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