Thursday, September 18, 2014

Getting All Kind of Weird Up in Here

It is really all about the weirdness right now.  Well, today at least.  One, I am an idiot when it comes to things like smart phones and the like.  I could not understand why in the world, even with my ringer on, calls were not coming through.  This has been going on since returning home.  Yet, I could not understand what the little half moon thing was on the top of my screen along with battery etc...  So, I began to search my settings and yes, the little half moon thing means I have Do Not Disturb turned on.  I used it in NC because I kept my phone by the bed at night and not wanting to hear the vibration if an email or text came through, I put the silence thing on...only I didn't read that when you do that, nothing comes through when your phone is locked.  Ah yes, Sherlock...thus the name for the setting, Do Not Disturb.  I am now getting disturbed, by turning off the feature, not me personally.

Today at the Kroger it must have been take your spouse to the grocery store and argue in public day. The older couple that pretty much had the banana section on lock down while the clerk restocked bananas were downright funny in their fighting words to one another.  Their goal, was to use their basket and their wide, wide bodies to blockade anyone else from getting near the bananas.  While they stood guard, they were a fussing and a fighting and a feuding with one another....just then an older lady made a move toward the bananas and she was rebuffed...rebuffed I tells ya.  They told her they were there first and no one, NO ONE was getting first choice of the newly displayed bananas before them.  It is then when I decided to make my stealth move to procure a couple of bananas on their watch.  They did not factor in someone with long arms who could reach from behind and pick up a bunch.of bananas.  Thus, I made my move, looked them right in the eyes and said, 'yonk!'  Oh the mister was mad and he reproved his wife because I got a bunch on her side of the perimeter.  I moved on over to the salad section, with the gentleman in pursuit of me...and when I turned around I kindly told him to look, there was a breach in sector 11 and his right flank was exposed.  He looked down at his too short of not down there, thank goodness, no people are free to pick bananas when you abandoned your post.  He waddled back over, but it was too late...he and the wife did not get first pick.

The coffee aisle was a war zone of words as well.  People, please have your choice of flavored coffees discussed with your spouse before getting to the store.  When one spouse is tired of French Vanilla don't throw the coffee so hard into your cart.  I saw several other instances of husband/wife grocery store upheaval on other aisles and in other sections of the store.

With all this discord in the air, that's what must have made me nervous.  Yes, there on the water aisle I accidentally knocked a bottle of sparkling water off the shelf.  It clipped the edge of the shelving on the way to the floor which meant, the cap was partially cut off and when the bottle hit the floor, it was as if a fountain was flowing as the water shot up into the air.  It was all over the floor and all over me.  I went to look for someone to tell and the assistant manager just happened to be walking by.  I told her what happened and the mess I had made.  We walked over to a register where she promptly got on the microphone asking Richard to come with a mop to the water aisle.  I begged her to let me get on the mic and say we need a cleanup on aisle 3, clean up on aisle 3.  She told me I wasn't authorized and the water was not on aisle 3.  She smiled but I think she was ready for me to complete my purchases and leave the store without anymore incidents.  Jokingly I told her I was going to go over to the glassware/house-ware  section of the store.  A nervous tick motion seemed to take over one eye and that's when I made her day...I told her, I will pay for my groceries and maybe I should go do some 'damage' at HEB.  A huge smile and laugh overtook the nervous tick of her eye.

I had a momentary flashback of Murray's Grocery Store just across from my dorm at SWTSU.  Ma and Pa Murray ran the store and they were all kind of fun to aggravate.  Oh to hear, price check at register 2 once again from Ma Murray.

It was an all kind of weird day.

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