Worked Hard For No Money

It's official, I'm a nerd.  That shouldn't be too much of a surprise that someone as cool as I seem to be would declare themselves a nerd.  Oh contrair Pierre.  After a busy weekend I have finally found the time to open the boxes from Amazon.  The contents....?  Two different type of thesauruses.  I cannot tell you how very happy, happy, happy this makes me. 

Roy and I are recovering from one hectic weekend.  The past week was extremely busy and full of activities and a little bit of stress.  Friday night we were supposed to go to a Christmas caroling party but I had to make the last minute decision that we couldn't go.  I was weary and starting to get a sore throat with a little bit of a cough.  This may sound like the crud that is going around but for me it is a sure sign that I have overdone it and my heart and body are giving me the warning signs.  I went to bed early and watched the coverage of the horrendous day in Newtown, CT.  Crying and praying for those families.  It is too much to comprehend. 

Saturday we decided to attack a few to do list items.  So we went by the storage place and got a small unit.  With that done, we headed over to buy a trundle mattress.  We can pick it up Monday or Tuesday.  That afternoon we went over to the Katy Christmas festival and stopped in at a little hardware store.  We needed nails and we also got some extra keys made.  They had the little stakes to outline your yard in lights.  Everyone else has been sold out.  We came home and measured the yard.  Don't you know that was a lot of fun with Mr. Exacto and Mrs. Ballpark figure.  Roy came in the house and immediately hit Excel to get the correct calculations of how many feet of light bulbs we needed.  I came in and hit my head against the wall because I couldn't believe that Roy would Excel and I hate Excel.  I should have put the above paragraph in the form of a word problem and show my work in getting it figured out.  Because...today, Roy wanted to remeasure the dimensions and add the flower bed into the equation.  I asked that it be duly noted in the official record that I had suggested the very same thing yesterday and Roy pooh poohed me.  Ha!  When Roy finally finished his mathnasium he declared we needed 100 feet.  I asked how much that would cost, he said over $100.00 and I said let's punt the lights until next year.  That is until I was straightening up the mud area in the laundry room and saw some white lights that I had bought deeply discounted at the end of summer and asked if we could use those.  So we are back in business and may attempt light placement after all. 

We also loaded up Sequisha with boxes and took them over to the storage unit.  Totally favor of the Lord that we got one next to an outside door and it was the top unit in the stack.  We get a little more space height wise.  Roy still has good knees so he got everything arranged and once Christmas is over and the decorations are ready to be stored, we'll go back do that and see if there is any extra room for anything else.  It is not a case of having too many material things, it is a case of being a collector of memories and too old for our attic steps. 

We picked up some Good Ol' Boys boiled shrimp and sides for dinner last night.  Delicious! 

Waking up to rain this morning was rather welcomed but driving to church was a tad hazardous.  We got on the EZ Tag lane so we wouldn't have to deal with a lot of the other drivers.  By the time we got into church, my back and feet were soaked.  So the person who is rarely cold was rather chilled all morning.  We went to Le Peep for lunch.  Coffee for me is early or late, not in the afternoon, but I decided to have some just to warm up. 

Well nerd girl is going to go read her thesaurus and hit the hay early.  Have a busy day ahead. 

More Wonder More Struck

There is a Facebook page that I look at from time to time.  It is a group that formed out of memories of growing up in our childhood neighborhood and surrounding area in Houston.  Truthfully, I have not posted too much on it but I like reading other's observations and tales of growing up.  Seems like most of them are either older or younger than me.  Very few went to my high school but most of them went to the areas rival high schools.  Pictures of places long gone are posted.  Stories of those places told.  Places where we played have been developed and only the few know of the trails and hills we rode our bikes on.  Stories of watching change.  It strikes me kind of funny that all  we were a part of that generation that held rebelling and not obeying authority or giving in to the man as imperitive to life, trust no one over thirty, are now saying, writing and doing the very things that we made fun of when we heard adults in our lives say those sentiments.   Interesting comments reading of people who back in the day ran in the 'popular' crowd and those of us who watched that inner circle sometimes with jealousy and envy and hopeful one day our presence would be noticed.  In a good way, not a making fun of way, but looking back maybe not running with the fast crowd might have been a good thing.  When I first discovered this group there was a man that reverted back to his junior high school mentality.  He was blown away that he was NOW communicating with some of the very popular girls he had known from afar, back in that long, long ago.  Most of his posts took the train to Smutville and comments and some pictures he posted were filled with innuendo and were downright offensive.  Sometimes people would kind of joke with him hoping he would take the hint that his comments were distasteful and rude.  Finally, because this man continued in his trashy filled ways, one of the men in the group, relatively new to the group, confronted him and stood up for the women who were regular posters on the page.  It is scary to stand up for something or to someone in person but it takes a lot of guts to stand up on social media with words written without the benefit of hearing the voice or the emotion or threats of hundreds of "FB friends" who you don't really know.  The rude commenting man left the group and took his nastiness with him and deleted all his postings.  Yay!  Ding dong the witch is dead....  Everyone was so thankful that someone finally said something.

This week the brave man who stood up for decency passed away.   He had been ill, recovered, then found himself back in the hospital.  People who had never met him went to the hospital to visit and sit with his family.  The FB page is filled with loving tributes and deeply thoughtful words for this man.  The majority of people only knew him from Facebook, some had met him at a FB meet and greet just a few months ago and then there are those who have known him since childhood.  They all express the same things about his character, his sense of humor and his delightful view of life, he had been given over a hundred fold in each of those categories.  Stories and memories fill that group page and it has been an awesome and eye opening experience to read them.  His life had made an impact the old fashioned, get to know you in person, way and the 21st century way on the Internet and social media. 

We never know how our lives impact.  Kindness, encouragement, forgiveness and joy leave a lasting footprint on our hearts.  Truth be told meanness, spitefulness and ugly words also leave a lasting imprint on our hearts.  Sometimes when we get older...yes, I am about to go all Titus 2 on you, that grating, edgy, mean spirited, and negative viewpoint amplifies.  We don't even realize it until we see it all over someone else.   We want to be good fruit but sometimes we hang on the vine a little too long and become only fit to be prunes or raisins, craisins, or dried fruit.  Dried fruit is only appreciated on long hikes or for survival.  Really, who would pick dried fruit when one can have fresh, juicy fruit?  I don't know if this man believed or not, but the influence of his life on this group of people has brought awe and wonder in seeing and understanding that even the smallest details in life can and will be used. 

Last night we got to see our friends from France.  They lived here five years and then were transferred back to their home, only their home seems to be fixed and established at least in their hearts, over here with us.  Lots of laughter, tears, kisses (hey, we are learning the customs and gestures from France,) conversations and then long goodbyes.  As we gathered as friends we all rejoiced in the experience of impact, even though that probably wasn't front and center in our minds.  I've never seen a family like Claude's and Ria's that are so loved and so missed.  Their lives and love impactful and the fact that Ria is a master chef and baker adds to that impact and well of course to weight gain.  But, it is impactful weight gain.  :)

All these things above have shown me more of the awe and workings of God.  He is there in the details.  He surrounds us with His love and invites us to be fruitful, kind and impactful for His Kingdom. For us to know the joy of living life through Him and in His strength and power.  If you would like to read more about impact and being wonderstruck with the Creator and Father God, order Wonderstruck by Margaret Feinberg. 

I'm taking the challenge to #LIVEWONDERSTRUCK by God. Join me & pre-order Wonderstruck today: http://goo.gl/Xhvck

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Some of you might be saying, a lot of your postings have had to do with this Wonderstruck book but those of you who know me also know I would not be posting and writing about it if it didn't impact my life and view of living.  The preview I've been given to read has done just that.  I am so glad several of you have mentioned to me that you have already ordered your copy.  You will not be disappointed.

The Wonder of It All

We took another sabbatical Sunday today.  Roy has been participating in Celebration and has done so without taking any days off.  He pretty much drags himself in each night on the last bit of fumes of energy.  Instead of going out for lunch before he left for the remaining two performances today, we decided to go have breakfast.  When we first moved out here to the prairie we ate Saturday breakfast together at Otto's or Black Walnut Cafe or a few other places around here.  When Roy started attending Bible study at the Episcopal church on Saturday mornings, our breakfasting diminished.  It just wasn't as fun to eat out as when Roy was there. 

Last night I met Dena for dinner before we attended Celebration.  Nothing like starting out a fun evening with a bowl of gumbo.  We decided to scoot on over to church with plenty of time before the start.  Sold out shows=diminished parking.  What a great problem to have.  We took our vouchers and got our CDs, wandered around a bit and then headed to our seats.  I cannot tell how wonderful everything was in Celebration.  Just on a technical aspect it was one of the most beautifully staged productions but as always the heart aspect was even more impactful and beautiful.  At home I have watched a video of the processional filmed on Thursday night and each and every time I sit here and cry.  The meaning of the story that never changes but changes everything grabs at my heart each and every time...and when Page the elephant comes in and makes her graceful, yet smelly journey in the cross aisle, it makes me cry even more.  I am not a crier by nature so I came with tissues in case I sat there in the balcony and blubbered like a baby.  Thankfully, I teared up but didn't have the ugly cry going on.  Oh and the choir and orchestra, my friends, they hit it out of the park musically.  The only thing is, I hugged several and that glitter on the tops got all over me and eventually all over my car.  I even found some in the house and my top is in a plastic bag, not opened.   So it was the glitter of the evening that has graced our home.  I am so thankful that John Bolin and his team are so creative and that the Lord is honored and it is His Name that is lifted up.  After the show I ran into several good friends and we had a great time catching up with one another in the hallway.  Believe me when I tell you there was lots of laughter.  Dena and I walked out to the parking lot which had emptied by the time we got there.  So traffic was not a problem. 

Roy beat me home but I when I told him we had run into lots and lots of friends, he knew that will always put a little more time in between departing location and for home arrival.  Going to sleep last night was difficult.  I was wired and so full of energy.  Don't ask me if I still had that same energy this morning.  But as we have just come out of a season of gratitude, well more emphasis than normal and now we are in a season of gifts, I am so thankful and I am so grateful for the friends that God has given me.  Their prayers, texts, phone calls, tweets, FBing, love, laughter...the walking through difficult seasons with each other, rejoicing with those who rejoice and weeping with those who weep, what a gift, what a wonder of God's indescribable gift.    At Bible study on Thursday, Peggy and I were talking with a friend and our friend mentioned how blessed she is  by her best friend.   The kind of friend who don't care if you have make up on, can drop in and not judge if the house is a mess, those friends who we love and who overlook our faults, even when they are bountiful.  We are talking about the kind of friend you don't talk to for a while and can start right up as if no time has gone by.  Friends who don't wear their feelings on their sleeves or try to manipulate or who tell your story, even when it is not theirs to tell.  There are those kind of friends who try to one up you with the, 'you think you've got it bad....blah, blah, blah.  Yep, there is a time and place for that kind of behavior and it is called Junior High.  I read a Jan Silvious quote on Twitter today,

"Drama producers are masters at 'drawing others in' to be a part of their production. Best thing you can do, especially at Christmas in close quarters, is make up your mind you won't take the bait to be part of the play. Avoid discussing anything that is personal. Keep it general."

So glad that in my circle of friends, there aren't drama producers.  Oh yes, we have drama and sometimes we need drama-mine to deal with the stresses and unexpected surprises that can overwhelm if we aren't secure in the solid rock.  Love you dear friends!  Thank you!  I am so blessed!
I'm off to finish up homework.  Tomorrow is a busy day but I am trying to focus on Christ in each day, celebrating the season and the wonder of it all. 

God's Presence in the Middle of Routine

In Wonderstruck, Margaret invites you to toss back the covers, climb out of bed, and drink in the fullness of life. Wonderstruck will help you:

· Recognize the presence of God in the midst of your routine

· Discover peace in knowing you’re wildly loved

· Identify what’s holding you back in prayer

· Develop a renewed passion for God

· Celebrate the extraordinary moments in everyday life

I I've written about the wonderstruck in the beauty of God's creation. I have talked about being wonderstruck by God's perfect timing and in that timing the very clear message that He wildly loves me.  On Sunday in the everyday of life, I was wonderstruck again by God being in the details.  When we got home from our trip it was obvious that we were way behind in getting Christmas decorations up.  Roy promised me that we would pull them out Sunday afternoon.  Since we made a Bass Pro Shop run after lunch, I kind of thought that Roy would talk me out of bringing down the decorations from the attic.  Then he said, we will get them down after you take your Sunday afternoon nap.  That is pretty smart on his part because I can be a little cranky, or so I've been told, when I don't get enough sleep. 

 

Rested up, We began the process of moving the car and rearranging stuff to be able to pull down the ladder to the attic in the garage.  Roy first took up luggage and then began the process of assembling all the large totes and tubs filled with Christmas.  I kind of thought that I would mainly be 'directing' but he asked me to climb up a few steps to get the first load.  My first step onto the ladder, I missed the step and tripped.  Hard to describe but that is what happened basically.  As I readied myself for the next step I heard someone yelling, "you don't need to be climbing those stairs!"  I looked over to the street and one of my best friends and partner in crime (not really crime, more like running buddies...although neither one of us has knees for running anymore) had pulled in front of the house with her youngest daughter Jaime.  Jaime quickly volunteered to cart and carry all those storage tubs of Christmas to the garage floor.  Well, Peggy and I helped with that.  I thought about this, "recognize the presence of God in the midst of your routine."  WONDERSTRUCK!!!  God knew.  You see I used to be this very athletic woman.  I played volleyball, softball and tennis up into my late 40's.  I moved furniture around our home all the time.  I carried the heavy things and had such great reflexes, agility and balance.  Not so much after a heart attack, a probable mini stroke and a virus that attacked my heart at the age of 54,  My mind and spirit still tell me that I can do all those things like I had done before...body...well, it tells the truth.  But today, I am still thanking the Lord for letting me see His presence in the midst of daily routine.  He sent help. 

    

I     If you want to recognize the presence of God in the midst of your routine, see what's holding you back in prayer, have a renewed passion for God, give yourself and those you love and maybe step out and give it to someone who might not like you so much, on Christmas Day, Wonderstruck by Margaret Feinberg.  Since most bookstores will be closed on Christmas, so you can order or download from Amazon or Barnes and Noble.  Until then you can also Follow Margaret on Twitter: @mafeinberg
Facebook Page: Margaret Feinberg

 

I

 

Depth of the Day

I got a glimpse into the future this morning...my future if my appearance is unattended in the nursing home, but to be culturally relevant, it is now called an assisted living facility.  Truth be told I was feeling kind of good about myself last night as I washed my face and applied my latest purchase of moisturizer that is going to make my whole appearance seem brand new.  How many times has the ad been on TV and the side bar of Facebook that says; 57 year old woman looks 27.  So last night when I noticed a breakout of two pimples, oops I'm an old lady...I mean blemishes I thought I had reached that young look.  It is not fair to have blemishes and wrinkles.  This morning as I began to apply eye makeup I noticed this long eyebrow hair that must have grown overnight that I could practically wrap around my head.  It is almost black where my eyebrows have my natural mousy brown look that would match my hair if I didn't highlight it.  Then on my cheek, facial cheek, there was another one of those wild black hair things.  Of course I got to repairing all the extra brow and facial hair pretty darn fast and that's when it hit me.  When I get old and can't see my reflection in the mirror are my eyebrows going to spout out like a new forest?   I kind of remember my grandmother on my father's side getting that wild hair look, and not in that good wild hair term of doing something fun and crazy.  She just forgot about the fun and dabbled in the crazy her in later years.  The future came today and dang it, I still have the two blemishes that are bugging the crud out of me. 

My friend CourtneyS and I have a contest every year.  We want to be the first one to hear Merry Christmas Darling and call and sing it to the other one.  One of my finest comedic moments came with Courtneys, who has a fabulous voice, at the church staff Christmas party which also happened to be a talent show.  CourtneyS made this sappy introduction and began singing my generations gift to Christmas music, Merry Christmas Darling.  Pre-planned I got up on the stage and attempted to sing it with her.  It was quite fun to do and quite funny.  She sounded so much like Karen Carpenter that I almost didn't come through with my part and would have left her up there singing that 1970 standard.  I have also written many times about our love of In the Bleak Mid Winter...snow on snow, that is how we would answer the phone when we called one another at the office.  She worked at the church as well.  Peggy and I have used In the Bleak Mid Winter many times, rewrote the words once and of course introducing Christmas Carols we'd say now let's sing a really fun and upbeat song...In the bleak mid winter long, long ago....  We actually sang that song in our teaching time at Bible study today.  It was all we could do not to laugh not because of the group leading it, just the history the song has for us personally.  I don't think I have ever sang that song in a worship type setting.  The choir sang it once and only the really musical people appreciated its tonality and the musicality.  It's right up there with Shepherd's Pipe Carol.  The altos get cheated in that song.

I have been performing both the husbandly and wifely duties this week.  Guess I need to take the trash out in a few minutes.  Roy cleans out Buddy's litter box and that job fell to me this week.  Glad Roy reminded me that I needed to take care of that because it would not have crossed my mind. 

Yesterday afternoon I had to keep myself busy and out of the house while Chris was here cleaning.  There were several errands that I crossed of the list and I had hoped I could keep myself occupied long enough to sit through most of the dress rehearsal for Celebration.  I would like to give a little shout out to my favorite store, The Nord.  I missed Sunday night's shopping opportunity.  I went to customer service and told them my story and they let me choose a day for the ten points.  So I chose that day.  They even reminded me I have two triple point days that I can use before Jan 31.  I love the Nord. 

Loved the Duck Dynasty Christmas special last night.  I was howling and laughing so hard.  Also had some fun Facebooking with friends who are new to the program and reading tweets during the commercials.  Glad we remembered to DVR it. 

Well that is the depth of the day.  Got my chores to get done and then I am going to try and finish up the book I am reading. 

Wordy (me) and Wonderstruck (Margaret Feinberg)

It was nice having a little bit of rain yesterday.  Today the morning begins a bit overcast and when the outside looks like this, I can pretend it is cold outside.  Actually, it is supposed to be cooler this morning but I don't know officially yet because I am easing into the day.  I will have to be out of the house all afternoon because Chris comes to clean. 

Slowly but surely the Christmas decorations are being put out.  Along with the oldies I have bought a few newbies this year.  A couple of cute snow ladies came home with me on Monday.  My snow man now has a lady on each side.  Truthfully, I'm surprised Buddy hasn't been interested in them because they both are wearing some faux fir.  Maybe spending a week at Waggin' Tails with her own ilk,wearers of fur, has made her appreciate her human companions a little more.  Who knows with a cat? 

For over the last ten years Roy and I have a conversation before the holidays that goes like this, "I need new mascara and eye liner."   No, it isn't me making that request but Roy.  He is participating in Celebration at Houston's First Baptist again and for a week out of the year he can empathize with women who have the extra step of taking off make up at the end of the day.  I gave him my new eye liner when he got home last night because his from last year just didn't have the eye POP that a man in a wise man processional who is behind the elephant needed.   

My friend, Margaret Feinberg [www.margaretfeinberg.com], has a new book and 7-session DVD Bible study called Wonderstruck: Awaken to the Nearness of God [www.margaretfeinberg.com/wonderstruck] (releasing Christmas Day)—a personal invitation for you to toss back the covers, climb out of bed, and drink in the fullness of life. To learn more, watch the Wonderstruck Video: https://vimeo.com/53953257.

As you may or may not know, I’ve been a fan of Margaret Feinberg and her books for the last few years. I recently received the insider’s scoop about Margaret’s new book. Here are some highlights from the interview:

 

Where did the inspiration for the Wonderstruck book and Bible study come from?

 

Have you ever had one of those seasons where everything goes wrong, and when you think it can’t get worse, it somehow finds a way? Most people who have worked in ministry have experienced those seasons—some may be in one right now.

 

My husband, Leif, and I had just gone through one of the roughest years of our lives. In the aftermath, as we processed the pain and loss, I had an unexplainable desire in my heart. I began praying for the wonder of God. In essence, I said, “God reveal yourself, your whole self to me. I want to know you as Wonderful. I want to know you as I’ve never known you before and see you in places I’ve never recognized you before.”

God did not disappoint.

 

What do you mean by “the wonder of God”?  

Sometimes talking or writing about wonder feels like tying kite strings to clouds. It’s ethereal, and you can never quite get a grip on it. But if you look in the dictionary, the two main definitions of wonder are: “being filled with admiration, amazement, or awe” and “to think or speculate curiously.”

 

Those definitions come together beautifully in our relationship with God. That’s why I define the wonder of God as those moments of spiritual awakening that create a desire to know God more.

 

In other words, the wonder of God isn’t about an emotional experience or having some cool story to tell your friends, but the wonder of God makes us want more of God—to go deeper and further than we’ve ever been before.

 

Why are you calling people to #LIVEWONDERSTRUCK?

 

If you look in the Gospels, what you’ll discover is that those who encountered Jesus were constantly left in wild amazement. They were awestruck by the teachings of Christ, the healings of Christ, the mind-bending miracles of Christ. Within the Gospel of Luke we see words like “awe” and “wonder” and “marvel” at every turn. If this is the natural response to encountering Christ, how much more should it be for you and I—who are invited to live in relationship with Christ as sons and daughters of our God Most High?  We even created a free PDF that looks at some of these Scriptures. For a free copy, email us at wonderstruck@margaretfeinberg.com and we’ll send you one.

 

Follow Margaret’s snarky, funny, and inspirational posts on Twitter [www.twitter.com/mafeinberg], Facebook [www.facebook.com/margaretfeinberg], or her blog [www.margaretfeinberg.com]. You can learn more about this great book by visiting www.margaretfeinberg.com/wonderstruck where she’s offering some crazy promos right now with up to $300 of free stuff. I’ve seen the book for as low as $7.57 ($14.99 retail) on Barnes & Noble [http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/wonder-struck-margaret-feinberg/1110904808?ean=9781617950889] for all you savvy shoppers. 

 

Peace Out

Monday morning Target and Home Goods shopping accomplished.  The key is going early and hopefully I will not need to make anymore trips that way but I am keeping my options open.  Last night I tried to go to the Nordstrom Customer Appreciation night and could not get in.  Not because I wasn't on the list, oh yes, but because the traffic to get into the parking garage was backed up for miles.  It didn't move.  I tried several other options but could not get in to have fun with Lisa P and CourtneyS, so I went home.  Most years I have shown up early for this event and now I know I will need to do that for next years, God willing and that I spend the designated amount to even get the invite.  The second option is usually not a problem...

A couple of posts ago I wrote about Junior Mint Peppermint Crunch and how addicting it is.  Well, I gave a box to Dena and we became determined to find more of these.  Thank you Target, they have the boxes of the candy crack on sale for 5 for $5.00.  Such a nice deal and it fits within a theme of five since we live in the Rancho de Five area. 

Roy was exhausted from a busy week and a long Celebration practice, so we punted church....I mean we took a Sabbatical Sunday.  We had a really nice day.  Got grocery shopping done, went out to lunch and got there before all the church people.  Made a stop at Gaby's for some gifts and even made a trip out to Brookwood and we didn't come home empty handed.  After a nap I met a friend for a delicious dinner and great conversation and then I already told you about the missed shopping event.  All in all it was a good Sunday.  I also worked on my Bible study homework and the Lord and I had a time!  He was in church and in my reading room.  Big God!

I read an interesting article last week about Charles Stanley.  I try really hard to be awake at 6:00 am to hear him on the radio but since we got back from our trip, I have kind of slept through it.  I loved one of  his answers to a question in the article,

As you come to the close of your own very successful ministry of many decades, what do you see when you look out at the contemporary church?

I'm excited about a lot of new life, but I'm concerned that there isn't dependence upon the Holy Spirit as much as upon music and other things. I've noticed the emphasis is more on leadership than on the Holy Spirit and the work of the Lord.

Theology gets lost in a lot of the fanfare. Who is this God whom we serve? We're to reverence him and love him. I grew up in a Pentecostal Holiness church, and reverence for God has always been a major issue with me. When I talk about praying, I usually talk about praying on your knees. You can pray anywhere, of course, but in my personal prayer life, I just sense that reverence for God, that I want to listen to him

 

I had actually been thinking about this a lot because of the homework I've had for CBS.  When I was on staff at a church I heard the term, "give leadership" a lot.  Basically it means, I don't want to get in there and do some of the hard work because of my title, but I will just give leadership to the people who are working on this particular project.  Also beware of the term 'servant heart' if it is being used to describe you.  In church speak this means you'll do all the junk work that no one wants to do and because you are so willing to do it, you'll not be considered for anything else since it can be difficult to find people willing to do this kind of work for very long.  Leadership is the buzz word right now.  Hey, I am all for leadership but every once in awhile it would be nice to see leaders really involved in the lowly work for just a little bit of time instead of the 'for show, look at me hand out a plate', kind of work.  Just a pet peeve of mine...you know it is right up there with using prayer to quiet a room or using prayer to bring stuff on the stage.  When prayer is abused for that usage, it is hard to take the requests to come pray at the altar and the like very seriously.  I John and now Hebrews really magnifies the work of the Holy Spirit in us and in all we put our hands to in His Name. 

 

I am excited about Celebration this weekend.  The Choir and Orchestra of Houston's First Baptist Church has been working really hard.  I am kind of sweet on the guy in the processional that come right behind the elephant.  Not only will he have to remove make up when he gets home but he will also have to get some of that elephant stink off of him. 

 

The last page of homework is calling out to me, so I better respond. 

A Friday Morning Gift-Wonderstuck

For years I dreaded "the holidays."  If this had been a typical year, Thanksgiving would be crossed off the list and I would bravely push forward to endure the next biggie, Christmas.   I counted the days until life returned to normal in January.  Don't get me wrong, I participated in the church Christmas program, passionately sang Christmas Carols, exchanged gifts, sent cards and attended parties, even gave parties but not whole-heatedly.  The holidays meant spending much more time with family.  It isn't that I didn't love my family, it was the stress, drama, unrealistic expectations (my father's) and heartache (mine) that came along with the holidays. 

There seemed to be a rigidity to our being thankful in November and then celebrating Jesus' birth in December.  Many years there was little variance.  Our times were almost scripted complete with a timeline that we knew even as children; a high price would be paid for any deference or lack of adhering to the stiff conditions required by my father.  When my brother and I became adults and brought spouses into our little family, holiday gatherings, the rules and requirements of my father extended to them.  My father had such unrealistic expectations.  He wanted us to be a family that would gather around the piano and sing Thanksgiving hymns and Christmas Carols.  The only thing, none of us could play a piano and we didn't even own a piano.  So how was this going to happen? Nothing could happen organically. He couldn't trust any of us to do "holidays" right. My mother was a wonderful cook, but he would take over the kitchen and he would prepare the meal because she couldn't do it to his liking.  I have a natural comedic bent and if I was too funny, he would sulk because the attention wasn't on him.  He made fun of everything and everybody and enjoyed knowing he had gotten to you..  There was many a holiday I ran back to my childhood bedroom and cried because of mean spirited words.  On Christmas morning what should be a joyous happy time, was somber and we were on the clock.  Only one person could open gifts and if we took too long our presents were abruptly taken from us until we could adhere to his prescribed script and timeline.  It got to the point that I really didn't care if Christmas presents were taken from me because we didn't receive anything we ever asked for.  My father believed you didn't give any gifts that had been asked for, because where was the surprise?   At some point in the day he would let us all know that all his friends were having happier and better holidays.  It was our fault that his day had not been perfect.  He would turn his high back winged chair to the corner, open his gifts in silence or sometimes eat Christmas dinner in that position.  Funny, as I look back at it, we should have left him there in the corner pouting but we all had that, "but this is the holidays, time for family and joy" mindset and deep down we knew this whole ridged and scripted experiences wasn't right. 

For years I thought God acted just like my father. My view of God was flawed but I still thought don't ask anything you really want in prayer or being cognisant of His presence and attention would be a good thing...no thank you.  Sur[prise was not a good word when it came to things with my father, so when I heard that God loved us and wanted to surprise us with good things, I again thought no thank you.  My view of God was based on fear.  I loved Jesus and thought the Holy Spirit was pretty cool, but I didn't really want to have all that much to do with God.  Of course that thought about God was so long ago and I know differently now. 

I have had the wonderful privilege of reading and getting a sneak peek from the book Wonderstruck, Awaken to the Nearness of God by Margaret Feinburg.  In fact I took them with me for this last Thanksgiving week Roy and I spent at the Inn on the Biltmore Estate.  Each morning the sunrise sky was a little different.  Some mornings the sunrise had lots of pink, some had yellow tones and there were several that were foggy and mist laden.  The days were sunny and we enjoyed the antics of the geese and ducks and the gentle peacefulness of the sheep and cows.  The trees still had golden and yellow leaves of fall and some were already in their winterness.  The contrasts, of sky, trees and dried grass were beautiful to behold. We watched the sunset each night and they were as good as the morning sunrise with color, clouds and creativity.  Being there in the Smokey Mountains, how could anyone not see the awesomeness and wonder of God.  He was showing off big time and we took it all in.  Wonderstruck made us more in tune to realize God's nearness and presence.  This is one of my favorite quotes from the book,

"God is not merely at your fingertips but within your grasp.  Live each day like a child digging through a treasure chest, rifling for the next discovery.  Open your arms and your eyes to the God who stands in plain sight and works miracles in your midst.  Look for him in your workdays and weekends, in your meeting filled Mondays and your lazy Saturdays.  Search for him in the snowy sunsets and Sabbaths, seasons of Lent and sitting at your table.  Pray for-and expect-wonder.  For when you search for God, you will discover him.  Live awake and aware because the wonder awaits."

You might be thinking, so why did you bore us with your whole, sad, holiday story?  Just this, to declare, God is in plain sight and works miracles in your midst.  He is not a God who is rigid and scripted.  He has joy and surprises for us, if we will take notice.  Roy and I went to North Carolina for Thanksgiving, to do something different this year.  Roy suggested the trip last year after we had the service for my mom the Friday after Thanksgiving.  You know my father's streak of ruining the holidays and now my mom's service was still in tack.  But here's the thing, the BIG thing of God!  I thought that the wonders of God's creation was His Big thing for us there in the mountains...no, it happened in the car.  As we drove back home, I changed the channel on the radio and the song He Touched Me was playing.  That was my mom's favorite song and it had been sung at her service.  I looked over at the clock and this song was playing at the same time as when  my friend Lisa sang it for mom's funeral.  Totally amazed and blown away by God.  His timing=Wonderstruck!  He did that just for me.  Oh, how I love HIM!

Christmas Day, Wonderstruck will be available on Amazon and other book retailers.  Come join Margaret and those of us who #livewonderstruck and join in the adventure of awe. 

Tis the Season

Tis the season for piped in Christmas music in stores, shops and salons.  I loved getting my pedicure to the sounds of the season instead of the usual spa-like soothing music that is ubiquitous to spas and the like.  In fact the lady sitting next to me began to hum along with O Come O Come Emmanuel and since it is a song I've sung in choir over the years, I know the alto part without having to hear someone else and so we had quite a good time humming next to each other in our pedicure chairs.  We didn't exchange names or ask each other when our next appointments are scheduled.  We had a moment.  It was fun.  Too bad she didn't know Still, Still, Still cause it was the next song up. Yesterday, several of us on the cereal aisle had a moment with Jingle Bell Rock because all of us were singing it softly and that is not to be confused with Killing Me Softly by Roberta Flack, and when we realized all of us pushing carts were singing, we took it up a notch.  I guess it would be like a flash mob, without the flash and no mob.  Just four women in the grocery store looking at cereal.  There is something in the music of Christmas that gets almost everyone humming or singing.  Although the holidays from Thanksgiving to New Years isn't my favorite time of year, the music by far, is. 

And I have come to another conclusion, I no longer have to dislike the holidays.  It seems I have been set free from the drama and histrionics that come with some people.  I did have the occasion today to encounter the convoluted ideas and schemes of the biggest drama king I've known via a conversational text and I shake my head.  Not in disgust but in sadness that this person continues to make the same choices again and again and getting the same results, again and again.  This is when if in conversation I was telling you about this I would add, bless his heart.  Three words just about sum it up.

Roy has gone to get his pedicure so that he will have lovely toes in the biblical portion of Celebration.  I told Lisa, she does both of our nails, to put a snowflake on his big toe so that we can be just alike.  Yea, that's not going to happen. 

I'm reading the best book and if you have read Monablog for any amount of time you know I love the book but can't remember titles.  The Bookstore in Big Stone Gap might be the title or close enough to it.  Fascinating read about who a couple who started a used bookstore in a small rural area of Virginia and the growth and lessons learned through their experiences.  I love how she tells stories of books marking milestones in our lives.  She can go through bookshelves and tell you the journey of your life.  Now, since I have gotten rid of so many books because of our move, I don't know if she would get a true read.  I think she would discover rather quickly that most of my fiction reading takes place in the south. 

A new addition to our outdoor Christmas decor is two lit trees by the front door.  I cannot tell you how many times I have jumped thinking there is someone lurking the shadows of the front door during the day.  Buddy has bristled a time or two when she is in the study. And I guess at Christmas the UPS guy can't bring packages up to the front door like the rest of the year.  We have a gate that leads to the front door and today I heard someone yelling and I got up to check it out.  Only when I saw the boxes outside the gate did I realize he had yelled UPS.  And, I might add, he placed them where I could not open to gate to bring them in without a lot of finagling.  He sat in his truck and watched but got away before I could get to him and ask why he can't bring them to the front door anymore. 

Maybe I should pipe some Christmas music outside and let it work it's mysterious effects of making everyone want to hum and sing.  Maybe he and I could sing a chorus of Joy to the World the package has come.  Please deliver at the front door.  . 

It Feels Good to Laugh....

Roy is on his way home from the car dealership.  His car is finally repaired.  He had a minor accident on October 25.  We never thought it would take over 30 days for it to be taken care of.  I have busied myself with Christmas lights.  Definitely, we are going the outsource route next year.  Last year after Christmas we stopped at an Ace Hardware store and got great deals on Christmas lights and decorations.  Tonight I was just trying to put the snowflakes in the trees.  I shouldn't be doing this kind of stuff because my balance has never returned after all my health issues.  It is depressing because my mind thinks I can still do all this kind of stuff and my body resists.  I kind of hung onto the shrubs for balance. Oh yes, those little bitty limbs would keep me upright and sustain me.  I've rethought this whole snowflake thing.  Really, the tacky decorations across the street include these type of snowflakes and I am trying to go for a more tasteful look.  Well, at least I am trying.  One of the set of snowflakes has a short or something.  It won't turn off.  They are battery operated and kind of tedious to open the battery box, so I'll let it burn itself out. 

After leadership meeting today I headed over to Target to get an outdoor extension cord for the lit trees by our front door.  Of course I found all kinds of stuff that really needed to come home with me.  I went into Home Goods and looked around.  I saw some cute things but the line to check out was so very long, that I decided to go back one day this week much earlier in the day.  The parking lot was a zoo and holiday tempers are already showing themselves.  It has been my practice to swear off visiting Target between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Let me share with you the discovery of peppermint white chocolate M&M's.  They are addictive...they are candy crack.  We took a bag with us on our trip and we really had to practice portion control. 

It is now Wednesday and Christmas decorating is almost complete.  I have storage tubs to go through to decide what I want to put out and what to put away.  It is always fun to put out and drudgery to put away.  Roy promised me we would get a storage unit this year and not have to do the attic thing again.  

This morning I had somewhat of a scare, no it wasn't my reflection in the mirror.  I'm kind of over that as I gracefully age...uh hum...anyway, I couldn't find the little gifts I had brought back for my core group and I had this sinking feeling that when I was throwing away Biltmore bags, I had accidentally thrown them away.  My other little panic had to do with our coupon thing to send in for our first house payment to the new lender.  Roy had given it to me yesterday but I couldn't for the life of me remember where I put it.  These situations weren't worth the anxiety.  Happy, happy. happy (salute to Duck Dynasty) I found both a little bit after praying.  I read an article on how we can sleep walk throughout the day and I find myself in that position a lot and have to be very determined to keep present in each and every moment.

Roy and I realized on our trip home we could have done a reality TV tour of all the shows we love to watch.  We could have stopped in Houma, LA for Cajun Justice, Alexandria for Cajun Pawn Stars, Swamp People in Butte La Rose and Duck Dynasty in West Monroe.  It was a dilemma when we were on I 20 if we would make that southern turn to 55 or would we stay on 20?  We made the 55 south turn but we were tempted. 

Roy got home safely with his  repaired car.  Think he is a happy camper.  He loved driving the Jeep Patriot but not so much the Sonata.  I think Roy regretted his promise of helping me move some furniture last night.  Since moving a heavy chair up some stairs with my crazy friend Debbie and her mother, I am useless when it comes to moving furniture.  I start laughing and can't seem to stop.  So last night when we were rearranging some tables and we were carrying the heaviest one, the laughing bug was all over me.  When Roy carries something heavy he makes these little bitty side steps and it cracks me up every time.  He knows when I start that wheezing kind of laughing it's because of those funny little steps.  If that chest was going to be moved 3 more feet I had to suck it up and not look at him but dang it, he looks so funny.  I thought maybe some of those dance steps for Celebration had finally kicked in for him.   It does seem like I find something to laugh at or with everyday...one of my least favorite statements to hear is when someone solemnly and probably guiltily says, "sometimes it feels good to laugh."  Heck yea, it's biblical.  Most people who say this are hopelessly lost in the sad and pessimistic outlook on life.  And here is another thing that comes with that outlook, almost always to a T most of these people will tell you they have the gift of discernment.  Well, the gift is actually discerning of spirits but why be biblical?  One time I heard Beth Moore say if someone says they have the gift of discernment and they never discern anything good or positive, they actually have the gift of judgement.  The gift of judgement is not biblical.

These Christmas decorations aren't going to get in the house on their own, so I better finish up now.  I thought it might be difficult to go through everything because so much of my Christmas decorations are from my mom.  She made me a bunch of fabric wreaths and ornaments.  She brought me home an ornament from every trip she went on.  Have lots and lots of Branson ornaments because she and my dad would go there twice a year.  And now thinking about it all, we are no different in that we go to the Biltmore once or twice a year...but as a friend said, our choice is much better.  It hasn't been difficult at all because I remember her love of Christmas.  She put the tree up earlier and earlier over the years because she loved to sit in their dimmed family room and watch all the brilliant lights twinkle.  She made beautiful Christmas stockings and she was ahead of her time.  When we were little and money was hard to come by, she bought pipe cleaners, felt and little Styrofoam balls to make elves.  They sat on the built in shelves in the den.  So we had early elves on the shelf. 

Sunday Morning Hangover-The Tired From a Trip Kind

There has been a little less blogging in the past few weeks.  We just returned yesterday from a trip to Asheville, NC by the way of Nashville and Chattanooga.  We spent five days at the Inn on the Biltmore Estate and we relaxed, hiked (OK not me but Roy), shopped (that would be me) and had lots of fun together.  Friday both going and coming, were our hard days of driving.  We left home around 3:30 am and spent the night in Athens, AL.  Coming home we got a later start on Friday but an early one considering we were at the Biltmore and we also went back through Nashville to pick up what we had bought the previous Friday at City Farmhouse.  The route home was a bit different as we tried to avoid being on I 10 for a long time.  The east/west corridor driving is much harder on you than the south/north driving.  We criss crossed across Alabama and Mississippi.  Our stop Friday night was McComb Mississippi.  There is a story there let me tell ya and we got up early to hit the road, stop at the Cracker Barrel for breakfast in Hammond, LA and be on our way.  We got in around 1:00 pm and went straight to kitty camp to pick up Buddy.  At least we know she plays well with others because she got to have free time in the big kitty room with other cats.  She also had a cat condo where she slept and ate.  I always refer to this as camp but reading these past few sentences, exercise yard and small enclosure and I know this from many late nights of watching Lock Down, it sounds less like camp and more like prison.  I told a friend Buddy came home singing Nobody Knows the Trouble I Seen and not Kum Buh Yah. 

We have unloaded our suitcases and even done some laundry.  Roy has gone to the grocery store this morning (yes, we are playing sabbatical from church) and then we are going out for a Mexican food fix before all the churches let out in Katy. 

Buddy has been a tad needy and clingy since arriving home.  Most cats are mad and won't have anything to do with you for a long time, to teach you a lesson never put me in prison again.  Buddy has rarely left my side and kept me awake most of the night trying to sleep as close as she could to me.  She even is letting Roy pet and carry her around. 

Roy is going to bring Christmas decorations down from the attic later this afternoon.  After seeing our neighborhood last night, we seem very behind. 

I have lots of stories and thoughts to share, but those will come later...complete with pictures.  We had a wonderful time but it is always good to come home, to the mess you left but didn't realize it was a mess when leaving.  The birds have probably missed us as well.  Maybe the doves and mockingbirds will come back. 

Thoughts for a Monday

First off let me say congrats to all my Aggie friends for beating Alabama.  Although, I have to think LSU had a part in your victory.  LSU kind of played the role of John the Baptist last week, you know, preparing the way.  I think the weakness, if there are very many, in Alabama's game plan were somewhat exposed by the way LSU played against them.  But a win against Alabama is a win and this was a tremendous kind of game that will become folk lore, I was at the game (but really at home) and Johnny Football will never have to worry about having a job when his football playing days are over, type of game.  Even Roy who rarely ever cheers for A&M was dare I say, whooping and yelling throughout the game.  I think he might have wanted to wear his LSU t-shirt to church on Sunday that says, "Imagine a World Without Alabama."  I also learned something about Aggie tradition or whatever it is called.  You see my greatest concern for A&M for years is their whole lack of parking on campus but I asked my friend Dena, Aggie grad, about that song that in my head plays out as The Old Gray Goose is Dead.  I didn't ever know that what I thought was swaying to the music is actually them sawing off t.u. horns.  Then I asked her why the sudden stop in the song.  Do you know when to stop or how do you know when to stop, abruptly...not even finishing the song?  They stop because the horns have been sawed off.  Who knew?  Well Aggies do, but I have lived in Texas since I was four and never knew this.  To be truthful, I really had never thought about it.  Well done A&M!  Now you all must come up with a song about taking tusks off an elephant or scaring the elephant with a mouse to complete your entrance into the SEC.  I read on Twitter that last week was a bad week for elephants...election loss and football loss.

I am having toast this morning for breakfast, but just not any toast.  Opened my first pumpkin pecan butter from William's Sonoma of the season this morning. Mmm...deliciousness!

We have been discussing over the past few weeks if we should increase my life insurance.  Now right there ID TV fans could be the beginning of  a made for TV story.  Except there isn't a story.  You know most of these shows reveal either an increase in life insurance or sudden strange behavior...stuff like that.  Nope, just an opportunity to increase without much hassle. 

A big shout out and thank you to veterans who have served our country and keep our freedom for us.  On Saturday there was a thirty minute or so segment of patriotic and military songs.  Yes, I got my Sousa on.  One of the songs brought back a great memory.  Some years ago we would sing snippets of the armed forces songs.  So there were always people who stood for the Army, Air Force, Navy and Marines but hardly ever did anyone stand when we sang the Coast Guard song.  So in rehearsal Peggy and I would stand during the Coast Guard anthem just to give a little respect and so they wouldn't be left out.  We were never brave enough to stand during the actual church service but then we were already standing because we were in the choir. 

Saturday I finished up the guest room closet project.  If you hadn't seen the before the after wouldn't have too big of an effect on you.  Lots of stuff re-boxed, lot more thrown away, and greater more given away.  But with almost any project done by an ADD brain, there is a lot of stopping and starting.  Actually, this project started in our closet and our closet remains in its original state.  I came across some lovely pictures and had to post a few of my finds on Facebook.  We have decided we need to get a small storage unit to keep a few of these memory boxes that I can't part with yet and Christmas decorations.  Just getting luggage out of the attic yesterday is a tremendous undertaking. 

This morning about twelve doves are huddling together in our yard.  They are not the smartest of birds but I find them lovely to look at.  So does Buddy, but I think her intentions of bird watching isn't to behold God's beautiful creation but to eat freshly caught dinner or in this case breakfast. 

The house across the water feature has the roof completed and the turret that was merely framework is now enclosed.  I believe in early morning light against the backdrop of the eastern sky, that turret will look more like a mountain top.  At least that is what I will think on these early mornings on the prairie. 

Wonderstruck and Wonders of Wonderful

The evening has a nice breeze to it.  The distant sky has the look of cold but it is in the 70's.  We are obsessed with weather around these parts especially when there is a good chance that next week will be downright cool, maybe even cold.  The framing of a new house across our "water feature" has been an interesting prism.  I know wood doesn't reflect but viewing sunrises and moon rises through the timber has been entertaining and some days down right awe inspiring.  Margaret Fineberg, one of my favorite authors, has a new book that is released on Christmas Day.  The title, Wonderstruck.  I actually have the first three chapters of the book and I am deliberately going slowly through the words, taking in all that she shares about the wonders of God.  I am totally excited that I will be downloading the whole book on Christmas morn, or after or eve onto my Nook.  I cannot think of any other book I would rather have with me on my trip to Israel, two days after the release.  With exception of the Bible but that is a given.  Margaret Fineberg's book, Scouting the Divine is one of my all time favorites.  You'll love her style, you'll love her observations and you will love how she teaches the Bible and God in her writing.  Here is the link to Amazon and you can read all about her newest book.  http://www.amazon.com/Wonderstruck-Awaken-Nearness-Margaret-Feinberg/dp/1617950882/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1352419376&sr=1-1&keywords=margaret+feinberg

Another wonder is the Orchestra and Choir of Houston's First Baptist Church.  They are doing a preview in all three services of the upcoming performances of Celebration.  If you aren't able to attend, go to www.houstonsfirst.org at 9:15, 11:00 or 5:30 this Sunday...and join in on the web cast.  Also http://thefirstchristmas.org/ has lots of interesting info.  The Spirit, The Songs, The Story. 

We had wonderful discussion and laughter this morning in CBS core group study.  We are studying the book of Hebrews and just finished up the 3rd chapter.  It was also brunch day but instead of bringing food or rather a covered dish, we opted to go across the street to eat at Ruthie's Mexican.  We had a great time together.  We actually were supposed to discuss the last question for our brunch topic, but we really answered the question in our group time.  We talked and shared so many things that have happened or are happening in our lives.  We may or may not have discussed Duck Dynasty.  Hey, they're believers! 

It has also been a wonderful day remembering my mom.  I have to admit I got a little teary this morning thinking back to last year and the phone call from Roy letting me know my mom had passed away.  But one thing we talked about in leadership meeting and Jennifer mentioned in teaching time was the story of David.  He and Bathsheba's first born son died, but while he was still alive David cried out to the Lord in sackcloth and in ashes.  Once he learned of his son's death, he arose, got cleaned up and had dinner.  The time for sadness had passed and he went about serving the Lord.  So today I have honored my mom by remembering her joy and love of life.  Her laughter.  She loved a good card both sending and receiving.  She loved her friends.  Her love of the Bible and Southern Living.  Although she loved to bake, I didn't honor her memory by making up a batch of cookies or banana nut bread.  I honored her another way too...we were invited to go to Le Mis tonight but frankly, I am physically and emotionally worn out.  Because I know I need to stay in my parameters to function, I knew even as much as I would have loved to go tonight, it wasn't the smart thing to do.  And I laughed thinking about my mom and how she really didn't care for musicals, especially the musical Oklahoma.  She probably hadn't even heard of Le Mis but I can hear her saying, "why they were having a perfectly good conversation and then they had to go into singing about the conversation."  Yep, she wasn't a fan of the musical. 

My last wonder of the day is, Roy is bringing home dinner.  I am a huge fan, in spirit hopefully not in size, of the Fuddrucker's salad with chicken.  Oh my, I think I could eat it everyday.  And that's what's for dinner. 

Remembering

It hardly seems possible that my mom has been gone for almost a year.  She passed away last November 8.  I think about her almost everyday.  When I look at the flower gardens, the bird feeders and birdbath outside, I think of her.  We planted pink roses several months ago.  Pink roses were her favorite.  I just went back and read my blog from last November and I am so glad I put my thoughts and feelings down even if they are so raw and swayed by emotion.  One thing I never put in my posts last year is the way I found out my mom was ill and in the hospital.  I was at the cardiologist and back behind the partition of general waiting room and back in one of the individual rooms where I read about my mom.  My dad had asked my brother not to tell me, so in reality he didn't but he felt confident that I would see his status update on Facebook.  Later on in the day my sister in law called me and said she didn't feel right in keeping this information from me.  Believe me, I was reeling and when the nurses and Doctors came in that day to look at me, my heartbeat was all over the place.  So they had me wear a heart monitor for a month.  I couldn't decide whether to tell the nurses what had happened or not. I didn't want to be that old woman who tells her story to anyone who will listen.  Kind of like now only I am writing it and if you are making a face, I can't see you.  I sat there watching my ankles and hands begin to swell and retain water from the sudden stress.  My heart was working overtime.   It had been a long time since that had happened.  This withholding information from us came about from a phone conversation that Roy had with my dad several weeks previously and in that conversation Roy asked my dad to contact him if anything needed to be done because my dad was wearing me down with his unreasonable demands and his hate filled and hurtful words he had toward me.  I called my dad that night letting him know that I knew about mom and the next day we were with him at the hospital with my mother.  We were there helping him with decisions, well at least as much as he was going to let us have input, and trying to help him because it was obvious her time on this earth was quickly coming to a close. 

It seems ironic to me now thinking through these thoughts because my dad over the course of years told me numerous times that my mom had died.  He would call and say, just wanted you to know your mom is dead.  OK, it unnerved me the first few times and got the reaction he wanted when he did it, but as time went on I would tell him to just let me speak to mom when I called.  Yes, he is that twisted.  When my brother and I were small children, he would tell us that he and my mom were leaving us to live and fend for ourselves.  There would be the dramatic scene of pulling out suitcases and packing clothes.  I really don't think my mom wanted to participate in this but he has a way of controlling and cooperating with him has a way of making life much easier in having to live with him.  When he first started this my brother and I would cry and wail and hold onto them, not wanting them to go out the door.  My father would push us back and close the door.  I don't remember how long they would be gone but it was long enough to watch them drive away and be convinced that they were gone.  Being strong willed and having a survivor mentality it got to the point when he would pull this trick out of his hat, that I would ask my mom to leave us some signed checks so that we could pay bills.  I stopped crying and only tried to deal with what had been dealt to me.  This all happened beginning around the age of 6. 

Last year in CBS we studied Revelation.  When my mom died and her sweet presence went to be with the Lord, I kind of thought back to Revelation, when God removes His church and the Holy Spirit from this world.  All kinds of heartache, meanness and evil take place.  When we finally had her service, when family returned to their homes and once the shock wore off, it became apparent even with Alzheimer's, how much her presence brought good among us.  How much good she brought to my father.  His health and state of mind has diminished but still present is a mean spirited, vindictive and bitter person and I am saddened that he chose to live his life this way.  He has missed a lot of happiness and joy. 

Several weeks ago I read in Ann Landers about the phenomenon of 'pennies from heaven.'  I had never heard of this but many testify that after a loved one passes away, they began to see pennies in the oddest places.  The general thought is that your loved one is communicating to you that all is well.  Now I don't hold great stock in those kind of things but within the past few days I have found a penny in the strangest places.  On Saturday, on a whim, I decided to put the extra leaf in our dinning room table.  We had the section under a couch and when I pulled it out, there was a penny on top of it.  Hmm....  Then yesterday I was changing out the days on a magnetic calendar and I opened a drawer to get out the box that holds the month magnets, there bright as day was a shinny brand new penny.  It was kind of nice to see the pennies, but I now from the Bible that all is well with my mother. 

I am not a big crier by nature but I have cried more this week than I have in a long time.  Missing my mom, thinking about her, how funny she was, how loving and kind she was and her whimsical view of life even when she worried and fretted over trivial things.  These tears are mixed mostly with joy but there are those from missing my mom.  I am embarrassed to tell you what else brought me to tears this week...I watched a video of the Baylor halftime show from last weekend.  I don't know why but when I saw the creative program saluting Baylor champions I sat here and wept.  Lest you think it was emotionally packed, no it was the band as a stick person on a horse and a stick person bouncing a basketball and shooting it through a hoop.  Impressive but why did that make me cry? 

Remember, Ponder, Laugh and Holler..OK No One Hollered

Funny, we can blow through life not stopping to see anything.  We are intent of getting everything on our to do list checked off because you know we have to add more things to the list all the time.  Now that we have switched to fall back time I'm realizing that some things like yard work and bike rides will now have to happen in the mornings.  I noticed that the two trees out front were looking a little wilted and with the forecast of rain and the likelihood that the rain will go east and west of us, I decided to deep water the trees.  I kept reminding myself remember the titans...no remember the Alamo...no, in remembrance of me....no, remember that the water is on.  OK, I was so good on the time for the second tree.  I would rather not discuss the watering time of the first tree. 

I've been pondering my homework for Hebrews.  Like I have written about before, I don't ask myself too many questions and that is probably to my detriment.  There are several thought provoking questions this week and instead of hastily writing down what could do as an answer, I've been thinking them through all day.  We are studying the rest of God and encouraging one another.  We are learning about not hardening our hearts and obeying the Word.  Interesting parallel from the Old Testament that pertain to us today.  A hardened heart is not a pretty thing.  Really, we all have issues or circumstances that we can have a hard heart toward but there are those people whose whole lives are a testament to hardened hearts and bitterness.  They are the people who seem to only discern the negative and a generous life they do not lead.  It is like they are on a team but their hard heart, bitterness and insecurities have relegated them to the second string.  They are dressed for the game but aren't prepared to play.  Their attitude reflects the deep down issue of lack of trust and control.  If they have no faith in the coach, they will not play according to the game plan but perform how 'they' think it should be done.  We can find ourselves in those same kind of circumstances but it isn't a coach we don't obey, but God.  It's kind of like articles and blogs where the present day person wants to go back and talk with their 16 year old self.  Lots of wisdom that has come through life but I don't think even if we could go back and talk some sense into our 16 year old selves, it wouldn't do a bit of good.  You know, cause when you are 16 you know everything!  Humankind just has that bent toward rebellion.   I was talking with a friend several weeks ago.  She is in ministry and her immediate boss ministers out of his insecurities.  He is afraid someone with good ideas is out to replace him.  Uh, no.  He can't delegate big responsibilities to anyone on his staff that might outshine him with their work ethic and gifts.  There are half truths and talking behind other's backs to make him look good, even if only to himself.  He is one of those people who constantly say he doesn't hold a grudge but his life and words say something totally different.  My friend finds herself in a position of knowing she is called but wondering if her call should be totally away from the insecure and hard hearted minister.  So she waits, she is still and she is looking for God's direction in her next few steps.  Maybe I will email her Hebrews 3 and encourage her.  Meanwhile, I need to answer those last few questions. 

We had such a fun lunch after church yesterday.  Dena met us at La Fiesta.  Oh my, my stomach still hurts today from all the laughter.  Roy even said this morning that he couldn't remember us laughing that much in quite sometime.  Of course it is still funny to us today but if I even tried to write about it, something would get lost in the translation. 

I only discovered today that Duck Dynasty has a book out, Reverend Fowl, How Faith, Family and Ducks Built a Dynasty.  Ordered up that sucker and it should be here by Wednesday.  Maybe I could write a book on Buddy and her budding shepherd career.  She is trying to help me right now which makes it difficult to type. 

Roy has all his legal and CPA continuous education hours taken care of for the year.  He got the final 3 1/2 hours in on Saturday for his law license requirement.  Good to have that taken care of.  When he got home he helped me with the last of the weeding that needed to be done in the back flower bed.  He can never lose his good knees and the ability to bend down on them. 

Well, I better go finish up the project I started this morning in our guest bedroom.  Then think about dinner...which means Roy is bringing home dinner and I am thinking about the deliciousness of it all. 

An Amazing Thing...No Not Really

It was an ease into the day Saturday.  Roy left early for Bible study and then went to church for a Celebration cast meeting.  His travels were not over because he went downtown for the See You in Court legal thing that helps you get enough hours for this year's CLE.  He needed three hours with ethics thrown in and he is just about done.  He is making a few stops on his way back to the prairie and then we're grilling hamburgers tonight. 

Roy was in the land of sugar yesterday for a haircut and stopped in at Whole Foods for organic grapes that were on sale.  He also brought home some of their biscuits.  So my not so healthy breakfast this morning was biscuits and apple butter.  Then I went to Roy's Nord, Tractor Supply Store.  Not for anything manly or farmy or anything like that, but for candles they had on sale.  Love, Love, Love the scents.  Then I came back home and dead headed roses and cleaned out the bird bath.  And yes, I got little splatters of bleach on my favorite LSU t-shirt.  I no more had clean out the bird bath on my list of things to take care of today but you know with ADD, look a squirrel.  Things change constantly.  I have an email started to Roy because I thought of one more thing for him to pick up.  Funny, as soon as I started the email, I forgot what it was.  So I am waiting for that thought to return. 

Had a huge scare this morning.  I looked out the window and saw a gray cat stretched out on the outdoor fireplace ledge.  I freaked for just a moment because I thought it was Buddy.  No, it is the neighborhood cat and he must have been looking for bird breakfast this morning.  He didn't get a bird, at least not in our yard.  So he probably had to go back home for yucky oatmeal. 

This morning I read that the word "amazing" was voted the most overused word of the year.  Awesome came in second.  We have made the word "amazing" so pedestrian.  It is used to describe the mundane which really is not amazing.  Sometimes Roy and I play a drinking game at home when we watch our church's web cast.  Every time someone uses the word amazing in the service, we have to take a big drink of Diet Coke or coffee or Dr Pepper Bold.  Double drink score if the word is used twice, as in "it is an amazing, amazing thing."  Of course it gets complicated if we sing songs that have the word amazing in them.  On singing we are singing about, God's grace and that dear friends  is certainly an amazing, amazing thing to the tenth power. So that doesn't count in our game.  We need to start pop a peppermint game with amazing when we are at church in person.  We would probably have the burn of the mint and it would be too much from so many mints in our mouth in a 15 minute period, we would have to run out of the service for some water. 

Thursday was an amazing day.  Ha!  Just kidding!  But it was a fun and welcomed day.  Although early Thursday morning gave me quite a scare.  I woke up around 3:15 with my heart trying to go out of rhythm and pain in my chest.  I kind of thought the chest pain had more to do with eating hot dogs rather late on Halloween or Fall Festival Night.  I was prepared to call for an ambulance because the middle of the night is not Roy's finest hour.  The chest pains dissipated and haven't returned so it was a rare case of indigestion.  Bible study was full of lively discussion and bunny trails.  Four of our group served as Love Ladies in the children's ministry and we had a couple out on vacation.  We were lower in number but just as feisty as ever.  Peggy was much welcomed in her return to core group because she will jump right in and start the conversation on our questions.  After core group time I headed home because Cassi and I were finally getting together.  We have been working on this for about a year with our schedules.  We went to Kay's Tea Room and had a wonderful surprise of seeing Jennifer S.  The chicken pot pie ranks right up there with Rice Epicurean's in my book.  Delicious!  We also had a chance to go over to Bill's antique mall and look around.  We had taken so much time sitting there and visiting we were right on time for Girl's Night Out which began at 3:00.  The story of Cassi and me is a great God story.  Both of our lives have been changed on that chance encounter one night at Beth's Bible study.  I am so thankful for she and Dustin. 

Yesterday, I finally got to get a pedi.  I was long overdue.  Found a fallish color and relaxed.  Then I went over to the Celebration Market.  Usually, it is at Second Baptist but this year it was at a Baptist church that begins with a W.  It is across the street from Church of the Holy Apostles.  Lots of booths, lots of ubiquitous Christmas decorations, tons of jewelry, well, I thought it was pretty good.  Must have been because I bought a few things.  Found a couple of tops at the Enchanted Urn booth.  They have a shop in Fulshear.  I had never been to it because I wasn't quite sure if it was a head shop or a cremation urn shop.  Neitheron of those, thankfully but, cute clothes and shoes.  Now I will stop while out Fulshear way.   Got a few gifts taken care of for Christmas. 

For a second week in a row, we found ourselves at Lupe's Tortilla on a Friday.  Love their veggie quesadias.  And once again we found that Duck Dynasty was having a marathon on Friday night.  So were pretty much set for the weekend. 

Well, whatever I thought was so important for Roy to stop for must not have been that important.  The thought has not returned.  That's OK, I just saw something that I want to do for the dinning room table.  Better run with that thought while I still have it. 

It's 3:16 am and I Would Rather Be Asleep

It is 3:16 am and it is all quiet out here on the prairie.  The greater part of the evening was spent outside handing out candy to all the littles that came by.  And the were really littles because most of the families here have little kids and not teenagers.  Teenagers would have been welcomed too.  Talked to several of the neighbors as they came by with their candy picker outers.  With all the new houses in our neighborhood I really thought there would be more kids this year and thus we prepared but I think we had a bit fewer.  Oh well. 

Buddy has discovered the sheep nativity.  Dang, I thought putting it out while she was sound asleep would insure lack of discovery.  Setting it up on top of a bookcase seemed like such a good idea.  Yet, I just found her on the top with a sheep in her mouth.   Yes, I know it is early to have Christmas decorations out but these sheep are the cutest things.  Soft and fluffy they be.  It a shepherd sheep with three regular type sheep and Baby Jesus.  At first I thought Mary was missing because I thought the shepherd sheep was Joseph. 

Last night was Katy Bunco.  Love having it so nearby home.  Broke even, came with five dollars and left with five dollars. 

We will be down in numbers later this morning in Bible study.  It is our turn to help with the kiddos, have several on vacation and a couple who have things they need to take care of.   The first week of homework seemed rather difficult.  Maybe it was the way they asked questions but this week didn't seem to be quite as confusing.  Maybe it is making the transition from I John to Hebrews. 

I read an interesting blog entry by one of my favorite authors this week.  http://margaretfeinberg.com/margarets-monday-musings-an-open-letter-to-everyone-over-40-who-has-left-the-church/
I read it early before many commented and I returned later to see the comments since then are insightful and some are downright sad in the stories of why people left church in their 40's.  I remember discussing this very thing with others when I was on staff at a church.  There is usually a generation that gets left out of leadership.  In the case of our church the 70 somethings who controlled most of the committees and the like when they were in their late 40's and 50's didn't relinquish any leadership to those of us in our late twenties and early 30's.  Then when we might have finally paid our dues and have some leadership, drastic cultural changes took place in church and most everything skipped over us and onto the younger generation coming on up.  We didn't leave church in our 40's but we did for a time in our early 30's.  I think there for a while the thought in many churches was, we don't need you or it could have been we don't know what to do with you when it came to the older generation in church.  I think a lot of that has passed and everyone is realizing we are the Body of Christ and we need each other.  I love the time I spend with my young friends, they keep me in the cultural and technical loop.  I love spending time with those who are much older than me and even though I know very few, it is great spending time with others who are my age. 

Well, I am going to try and go back to sleep.  If not, I will have no excuse for running late to Bible study later on in the morning.