Thursday, June 14, 2012

What? House Hunters is Fake? Say it isn't So.

I sit here today in total unbelief and in stunned silence.  House Hunters on HGTV is totally fake and probably included in House Hunters fakery is Property Virgins, My First Place and dare I write it, House Hunters International?!   I totally bought into the fact that most of the husbands, no make that, guys living together with their girlfriend, know all the designer terms.  Not one time while we were looking at homes last year did Roy ever use the words, spacious, whimsical, cozy or cute.  He said stuff like, this sure is a big room.  He didn't even ever say window treatments, floor coverings, or chic dazzle.  OK, I don't even know if that last one is really a design term, but doesn't sound like it could be?  Another hint that HH is fake, no real life discussions.  No rolling the eyes, no raised voices, no called off sass (I couldn't resist).  All emotions are maintained and even major disappointments when the deal falls through is met with, oh well, there will be another house.  Just keep a stiff upper lip.  Last year when the last place we looked at before deciding to meander out to Rancho de Five went under contract as we stood there, planning on making an offer.  I cannot tell you how hard it was not to break down in tears at that very moment.  We left the second the realtor got off the phone, I didn't really talk, I just wanted to get home.  So all the talk about big back yards, media rooms, hardwood floors and atrocious paint colors is scripted.  Who knew?  OK, when HH first started it sounded pretty scripted.  Take 20, line...".Oh wow, I love this entry way but that chandelier is going to be a problem."  Not enough passion and excitement, take 21....hey, let's add some chic dazzle into the exclamation! 

Next thing you know it will come out that the Ultimate Grand Supreme titles on Toddlers and Tiaras can be bought and that all the bling is just rhinestones.  Dance Moms!  Surely that isn't fake!  Mob Wives?  Those TV people could get whacked it they aren't filming the truth.  Cajun Justice?  Pawn Stars?  Gee, I might have to go back to scripted television. 

Other news, a pizza place and a Shipley's Donuts is opening in July near us.  Hallelujah!  Breakfast and dinner are nearby.  The bad news is, along with the two mentioned openings will also be a dentist, vision center, cleaners and nail salon.  Really, there are tons of these kind of places along with Mexican food, storage space and churches. 

L.L. Bean wants to catch up with me.  Apparently, the emails they send are not meeting my shopping needs.  Eddie Bauer has conditions on my participation in their Friends program.  Apparently, EB might defriend me because I'm not purchasing enough merchandise to be considered their friend.  No offense, but I don't want to look like I want to go hiking every moment of the day.  Pottery Barn wants me to come back and look at their merchandise and Williams Sonoma reminds me weekly that I looked at a sisal bunny before Easter and the price has dropped once again...come on, order, you know you want that bunny!

Tomorrow the DW warranty guy is going to do a ten month walk thru.  Glad Roy took the day off.  I am not good with that kind of stuff.  Then he is taking Sequisha for her check up and oil change.  Driving a lot in the month of May sped up the scheduled October check up. 

With great interest and with much prayer I am following my friends from choir and orchestra on their trip.  They have been in Dubai and are waiting to soon leave for Manila.  It's almost as good as being there only I'm not as tired as they are.  Yesterday, when they were waiting at the airport a part of me, I should have gone.  Yet I could hear the distant laughter from my Dr when I asked about flying 33 hours and dealing with the tropical heat. 

Well, I better go because Roy will be home soon and we are going out to eat.  I will have to break the news to him about the fakery of House Hunters.  He'll be devastated for sure and he will want to do something about the Amorphous line and shape of our backyard and the Biomorphic shapes that plague us constantly. 

1 comment:

marty h said...

Haha! Loved this. I am behind on my blog reading but am thankful for your prayers on the trip. The heat and humidity of the Philippians would have been real hard on you, but we'd have loved you to be with us. Glad you were with us vicariously and in prayer! Love you girlfriend.