Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Flowers and Fireflies

This is definitely turning into an ease into the day kind of day.  The past three weeks have been full and filled with wonderful times, Doctor visit times, fun times and contemplative times.  Officially there is nothing on the schedule today.  I am planning on spending the day around home, working off and on and reading more on than off.  Of course I have loved the past few weeks but I will equally love a day at home with projects that aren't too much on a time schedule.

Mike the mower man is here so that sped up the timeline of jammy day.  My eyes, ears and heart are bent toward Houston this morning.  Several times during the night I woke up to check on any coverage of the storm on my phone and I can always live stream the coverage from the local stations of Houston.  Many friends from Houston First are going to NYC on a mission trip and they leave today.  There have been some delays with flights but from the looks of things they are having a lot of fun waiting.

Most evenings while Dena was here were spent out on the front porch watching the colors change as the sun set behind us.  The pasture across the way turns several lovely shades of greens and yellows...Sic Em'...yes green and gold flung afar.  One late afternoon we were treated to the most spectacular rainbow I have ever seen.  The colors were vibrant and for just a bit, there was a double rainbow.  We could see the beginning and then end of this rainbow.  I tried to capture the brilliance from different angles, but an iPhone can't capture the true beauty of God's creation.  As the sky turned to dusk, fireflies would make their presence known.  Each evening there seemed to be more fireflies than the previous one.  When I was a child I remember those summers spent in Illinois and the evenings were filled with the brilliant lights of little beetles, fireflies are beetles who can fly.  A glass jar with holes punched into the metal lids were easily obtained and the chase began of collecting those little lights in a peanut butter jar.  It is always tempting as a child to want to keep those little lights in a jar for our own entertainment and delight but early on my Grandma B sat down with me on her front porch to explain why those little bugs should be freed at the end of the night.  She told me they were meant to be free and when they are flying in freedom their little lights grew brighter because they were with others of their kind sending messages back and forth.  They would never glow as brightly in the jar no matter how nice I made it for them and consequently I would cause their death  at the expense of my entertainment and good intentions.  So each night I ran around in her side yard chasing after the lights and when it was time for me to come into the house, it was time to let them fly free.  I haven't thought about those memories in quite some time but this week that memory became as vivid to me as the colors in that late afternoon rainbow.

I have metaphor-ed before the seemingly dead plants or plants that looked like weeds in our backyard that are really beautiful, colorful plants.  Spring takes longer to arrive here but it arrives boldly and colorfully.  If I hadn't listened to friends that have lived here all their lives, I would have pulled up plants and they would have never had the chance to show off who they really are.  And I have seen myself and life in the story of those plants.  When I remembered the firefly story of the past, I knew just like the flowers, my story is in the trapped fireflies, that I had been held captive by boundaries enforced and in place by others just like those fireflies had been held by me.  The light within me had grown dim by being trapped and placed in a position of not being able to use the talents and gifts given to me by God. This is not about rehashing hurts and disappointments of the past but the joyful rejoicing that the lid of my life has been opened once again.  I am experiencing the joy of the Lord again.  Dena and I had interesting and deep conversations throughout the week along with those just plain silly conversations full of laughter but she one day she said, you are at home here.  It's as if this is where you should have been all along.  I don't know that I would appreciate this gift as much as if being here before now but I do know the lid of the jar of life is open and I'm enjoying the moments and can see the hand of God in this whole thing.  I think if I remained there life would have withered on the vine instead of being expectant of how the Lord can use me.

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