Lots of Thoughts to Think

Directions-check. Suitcase-check. Medicine-check. Ready to roll-uh still working on that one. I'll be leaving for Shreveport soon. I'm dreading it. Anytime going to a funeral...dreaded. Roy has been in the mix of things since Tuesday. I cannot even imagine having to be there in all the arrangements and stuff when and rightfully so, I don't have a voice in anything. No pun, but lots of dead time. Lot of unnecessary stuff happens in dead time because with nothing much to do when one isn't involved in the process, the mind wanders and soon the mouth has been included to voice long held thoughts and 85% of the time nothing good is going to come of this. Or our body language gives us away. Or normal conversation takes a tone. On all these things there is the option to respond in kind and then emotions escalate and words that never should be spoken and thoughts that should remain just that, thoughts come pouring out like a hot,vigorously shaken Diet Coke.


Roy has explained my health issues to his family and with all too recent little scares here and there, we both thought it best for me to just attend the funeral and graveside service. I think we come back to church for lunch and then I will return home.


While Rosemary's death was not unexpected, we didn't think she would go so quickly. During the last eight months she has rallied so many times. In fact Tuesday morning I was thinking, she's going to rally once more but Roy called a few minutes after that thought letting me know his mother had passed away one day short of being 83.


These past few days I've kind of kept to myself not out of sorrow or grief, but because it just seemed to be the right thing to do. I've done a lot of thinking and contemplating not just about Rosemary, but on how to live life, whose opinion really matters to me, who are the people that are important to please and who isn't. I've read some great quotes that have made their way into my journal, if not just into my mental journal. Oh, I have been reading some funny stuff as well. Gots to be well rounded in the thought process. I've been available to encourage Roy and the time to stop and pray much for him.


Guess I am just preparing myself to go into the storm. There has been a lot of storm talk lately and I'm sorry that I played sabbatical one Sunday and missed Carole Lewis' lesson on storms. In February as I began to study the storms in the Bible, I couldn't find very much material to study and in the past month or so, info has...you know it's coming....flooded in. Flooded in from the oddest sources. I re-read in Acts the other night about Paul's storm and shipwreck. I made notes of the process. Depends on the size and strength of the storm of what and when you let go. In my case with Ike, while others were fighting not to loose their homes and loved ones, the night Ike hit, I was fighting for my life. I was at a critical juncture of meds kicking in to take care of my heart because my body had abandoned the God designed routine of a living and beating heart. I'm alive today because God still has a plan for me, His divine intervention, and the 8 million pills I take that keeps it all going.


Well, anchors aweigh. Thank you for your continued prayers and thoughts. Thank you for the kind words and well wishes. We are most encouraged. God is good and He is faithful. He gives strength to the weary. He is a strong tower, the righteous run into it and they are saved.