Today I Said a Bad Word

OK, confession time. This morning driving to Sugar Land on the beltway, I was having this awesome time with the Lord. Praying, thinking, asking Him questions, He is downright good company on routine trips. I saw a situation ahead that could be potentially dangerous to all drivers concerned. My immediate reaction is to get around things like this because I don't trust other drivers to do the right thing. But I decided to slow down this time...well, I got hemmed in and nearly run over by a big ol' dump truck because the person beside me wouldn't slow down or speed ahead. They stayed even with me... They didn't do the right thing. Lots of swerving and adjustments happening in this span of seconds. Now mind you I was praying and talking to the Lord, but when I saw that dump truck getting ready to harm Mustang Sally and me, I said it. Oh s**%. What???? I am talking with the Lord and during my swerving, I'm swearing? That phrase came out of no where. I was so ashamed. Of course I immediately confessed my sin and reengaged in my conversation with Him. This all took place right before exiting onto 59 South. Wouldn't you know it just as I hit 59 this big ol' tanker truck comes right up beside me and starts coming into my lane. I meekly asked God to intervene and He did. The trucker finally saw me and waited to get behind me. As I drove on for my appointment, I asked the Lord if He was just seeing if I had repented or if I had just said empty words and wasted prayer to Him.


This week Charles Swindoll said something about words and prayer. He said when we pray, "be with so n so", that is wasted prayer. God is present and with. He's right.


I also had an interesting conversation with a friend of a friend. She is compiling data about Women's Ministry in churches. She has found some interesting things. She said there is a lot of good happening, but there is too much bad. The bad mostly revolves around words. Hurtful words and non spoken attitudes which are sometimes stronger and more hurtful than words, both. Her research shows that many women minister out of their weakness. Not talking about being meek and broken, but about putting their own emotions and hurt places in front of making wise decisions without emotion or hurt or feelings being a determining factor in direction and thoughts they make for ministry and toward other women. There is an increasing number of women who feel like they don't "fit" in their churches women's ministry. Women who feel like they don't fit the mold of girly-girl, petite, soft spoken, often praying, always prepared with a casserole, tendency toward being anorexic not bulimic, moneyed, cute shoe wearing, non-fertility plagued, with children always behaving, stay at home mom, with the perfect handsome husband. Whew... I'm tired. Guess that is why I'm not in women's ministry, I have none of the above qualities. :) I don't use the words, precious, sweet, tears rolling down my cheeks enough to be used. Too bad a swear word in an apt situation isn't a requirement. I once heard Liz Curtis Higgs talk about saying the very same word. She said you know saying ____ happens, don't beat yourself up over it. My friend's friend is working with a denomination to get to the point where ministry is done right and without malice. I am certainly glad I don't see too much of this kind of stuff going on at our church. Well, I'm not up there all the time, but when I'm around.... I don't see it. :) It all comes back to watching our words and attitudes, making sure they are not empty or wasted.


Guess I am writing all of this because I have thought so much of that conversation, reading a couple of blogs addressing word issues and this quote that I read this week. This long quote has hounded my very soul and mind and now I will write it so that it will hound you.


"Jesus came to save our souls. He also came to save our words. Word and words are at the very core of God's revelation of himself to us. If the words are damaged though careless or malicious usage or are left in bad repair, or pick up barnacle encrustations from hanging around in bad company, the sharp details of the Jesus revelation are blunted. Careless language in the service of Jesus is responsible for an enormous amount of mischief, rivaling outright lying as an impediment to hearing and responding to the message of God's good news to us. (emphasis mine)

And so constant and vigilant attention is required to keep our language in good repair. Words wear out. They lose texture, and the colors fade. They need refurbishing, rehabilitating, renovating. Whether from overuse or misuse, once vigorous words frequently end up blunted and dull. Those of us who use language have a responsibility for returning them to sharpness, cleaning them up, scrubbing off the grime of inappropriate associations. Most of us are more attentive to keeping the dishes and knives and forks clean that we use to eat our meals than to keeping in good repair the words we use to speak our love and promises, our commitments and loyalties." Tell it Slant, Eugene Peterson page 107


A great book, Tell it Slant, a conversation on the language of Jesus in his stories and prayers. The thoughts are so deep, I'm having to dive back into pages I just read to get the full effect.


Well, I need to unpack bags from morning errands. I attest that no bad words were thought or spoken during the writing of this post.