Thank God I Don't Have Amnesia

In Houston, you know it is not a good sign when you wake up to the sound of multiple helicopters. You're not too sure whether it is an accident or an incident for that kind of news coverage. This morning the West Loop South bound going toward the Galleria was closed at Memorial to Westheimer. A truck had accidentally dumped gravel all over the freeway. This meant our little street would be backed up with traffic cutting through. So, when I left this morning a very kind lady let me out of our driveway, right off, I didn't have to wait for several cars for compassion. While sitting in traffic I was listening to Praise 92.1. KSBJ is too boring and too repetitive, anyway the song on the radio got my attention. The words were, "thank God I don't have amnesia, thank God I'm not deaf." Strange lyrics, but then I began to really listen to the song and what the woman was singing about was, she didn't have amnesia because she remembered all the times God was faithful and good to her and not deaf because she could hear Him speak to her. I immediately loved that song and thought how appropriate to what I was thinking about this morning and thanking God for during my prayer time.

Two years ago in June I was like the woman in the Bible with an issue of blood. I had gone to several DR.'s and received no help...more like just wait and see how this plays out and scheduling tests so distant in the future, I wasn't sure I could make that. I called another DR and went to see him. He was compassionate to my needs and after several tests told me, we will do surgery for your quality of life. I drove home, called Roy to let him know surgery was scheduled for the end of June and I was happy that my condition was going to be taken care of. By the time I got home, I had several calls from my Dr asking me to call him when I heard the message. What had gone from quality of life had turned into, we found a suspicious tumor and we won't know until we get in and test it if it is cancer or not. I felt so alone in that moment because I could not get a hold of Roy and I couldn't find a friend except one and asked if we could meet cause I had news that disturbed me and she wasn't able to do that. Stunned, I sat there on our bed and cried...cause I think that is the first emotion...not that I didn't have faith, but at that moment I felt all alone and in shock at this news. After some bit of time Roy was finally out of his meeting and I told him. Great man of faith that he is, he prayed for me right then and there. It was going to be a while before he could get home, so I just sat here in stunned silence trying to get my emotions and thoughts together. I went back to the Dr for all the pre-op stuff and he told me since I had been on anti-inflamatories since 1983 I needed to be off of them for several weeks before surgery, so that moved it to July 5th. Those weeks were some long ones for me, but God was so faithful. Although I felt like the rug had been pulled out from underneath my feet, He gave me strength, because I was hobbling around with knee pain and tired as all get out from...loss of...oops, let me put it this way, anemia. In this same time there were several emotionally draining situations going on and I like the woman in the Bible was crawling physically, spiritually and emotionally to just touch the hem of His garment. I was praying and friends were praying...people I didn't know were praying that the tumor would not be cancer.


Finally July 5th came and I had successful surgery...the tumor was benign. A couple of days later when my Dr was doing his rounds, he sat there on the edge of the bed waiting for me to wake up. When I did we had a wonderful conversation. All through the visits I had with him, I was sharing Christ because he is not saved. He told me the real reason he had waited till July for surgery was because the oncologist he likes to work with was not available until the 5th and everything he saw pointed to this tumor being cancer. He was amazed it wasn't. I was able to share with him again God's faithfulness and even while I was home recovering he called and asked if I would talk to a patient of his who was having the same surgery, with the same kind of suspicious tumor... He said he thought of me because I had something in common with this patient. When I talked with her I knew why, she was a new believer and she had been witnessing to him as well. The weeks I had off to recover were some of the best weeks I have ever spent with the Lord. He showed me that His mercies are truly New every morning. My cry become new mercies, new mercies, new mercies and my thanksgiving to Him resounded thank you for the new mercies, new mercies, new mercies. He did new things in me and brought new people in my life. It was a joyous wonderful time of refreshing and I felt like God Himself sat here in the living room with me walking me through each step of the journey. He used the Admin's at First tremendously in my life during that time, He cemented my friendship with Lisa P, Peggy was my back up for rides and my faithful friend during those days and weeks. All those who came and took me to lunch and dinner at the Nord once I was able to get out and about were plentiful. Mary Helen came over and took me to lunch and brought me boxes of goodies from Three Brothers Bakery...Sue, Barbara and Nell brought us meals. My heart was touched that the first meal we received was from Betsey, a married young adult in our church, who had lost a toddler who had drowned in their pool a year or so before...she ministered to us that day.

Thank God I don't have amnesia, thank God I am not deaf. Thank God for the incredible gift of His presence during my recovery. Thank God, I came out on the other side of this healthy. Thank God that during this time my emotional health grew stronger. I will always be thankful for His new mercies that are new every morning and as much as possible when it depends on me, I want to give the grace of new mercies to others.

I began this post several days ago and find myself still so thankful today on July 5th. This morning as I thought about all of the events, moments and happenings during that season, there are still some unanswered questions. I don't have the answer of why to some of the stuff that happened. Some of the pain and hurt from that time has healed, some hurts are scabs and some pain is still unvoiced...but it doesn't matter. The mercies of God are new. Hebrews tells us come to the throne of Him who loves us to receive mercy and grace, that discipline seems hard at the time, but He knows it all and He has our "certain good" in mind for us. I have experienced His certain good.