Hunk a Hunk a Burning Nair Lip

I am awake and up because my lips are burning.  No, not from too many jalapenos at dinner but from facial hair remover Nair.  I tried to be so careful and only apply to my philtrum but somehow in the attempt of following the instructions I was a little too generous in application and thus the overage.  Philtrum is the area between your nose and lips.  In my non professional guesstamation I don't think any hair will darken the doors of my lips from now on.  OK, to be perfectly honest I never had hair on my lips just my philtrum.  I have never ever used anything like this instead I rely on outsourcing at the Nord or at Emmanuel.  As much as waxing hurts, this hurts worse.  With wax the pain is just for the moment, it does not linger.  Like how I feel now, like being wide awake at 2:30 am with a hunk a hunk burning lip. 

Lord almighty,
I feel my temperature rising
Higher higher
Its burning through to my soul

Nair, Nair, Nair
You gonna set me on fire
My lip is flaming
I don't know which way to go

When did I become my grandmother?  I walk like her, when my knees hurt, stiff little staccato steps with too much lean to going forward.  Good grief, using facial Nair and being all that about comfortable shoes.  And now instead of riding a bike, I am using Roy's trek, which is really a tricycle.  As nerdy and old as I look riding around our water feature, I have to tell you, that thing is downright fast and fun.  My goal today was two laps and then some neighborhood riding.  Met the goal with some energy to spare. 

And now it is a decent time of the morning.  Roy never knew I was gone for about 2 hours.  Too bad I am not a teenager because sneaking out would be a piece of cake.  When it finally dawned on me that no one was up to add things on FB or Twitter I decided to read an old standby, Stand Against the Wind.  It is a rather short book but so chocked full of truth you can never read it slow enough.  Each time I pick it up and browse, I see something new.  Because it is a small book and can be read in one sitting that is why it is my" I can't go to sleep" choice of reading.  It almost backfires every time.  I don't read fiction or the like when I am wide awake at night because if I can't put the book down, Nancy no go to sleep.  Each time I start reading Stand, I am so tempted to start writing down thoughts and doing research.  That will keep me up as well, so I read without any pen or paper nearby when I am reading early in the morning in the middle of the night. 

Feeling is returning slowly to my upper lip.  It is true the darkest hour is just before dawn.  Joy does come in the morning and no feeling on the lip just lasts for the night.

Pre-Op, Op, Post Op...Stay Away from Dr Google

Channel 13 says rain is imminent in Rancho De Five.  The sky is overcast.  It has been a mish mash of sky appearance today.  Cloudy, rainy, sunny, overcast and the predicted precipitation.  I am home this morning.  I need to keep free from a cold or flu for next week to go as planned.  I am a walking fragrance zone of hand sanitizer.  So Bible study and church are a no go right now.  Specifically told to stay away from large groups of people, especially churches because people will notoriously go sick.  And of course scads of children whose cute infectious looks can translate into a germy mess if one is not careful.  Also mentioned movie theatres and concerts.  Neither one of those made the top five of large group situations on my list. 

So last night after talking to Nurse Ernest I Googled pre-op, op and post op procedures for heart ablations.  Uh, I should have not done that.  Dr Google scares me.  I know better than to do that.  Two things that I am telling Roy daily...make sure they do something to support my knees while I have to lie still for 6-8 hours or I will never walk again and PRIVATE ROOM! 

The other thing I find funny is how we all have a tendency to rename things to create buzz or newness for an otherwise awkward word or for an over used word.  I read on the website what I am to bring for pre op appointments, a form of payment, check or credit card, insurance card and a copy of my directive.  Directive is just another word for living will and medical power of attorney.  Last Thursday I forgot to get my Directive witnessed by Peggy and Kathleen.  Good thing it was forgotten, I would have had them sign the wrong page.  On Friday, Roy encouraged me to put the document formally known as living will and medical power of attorney in Sequisha so I'd have it to get the signatures.  No, I assured him, said document is underneath my keys and I would never forget to pick it up.  Ha, I live to laugh.  So, when Dena and I get ready to leave the house, I pick up my keys and start out the door.  She asks, uh, are you forgetting something?  Dang, the Directive was staying in one direction, home.  I asked her not to mention anything to Roy, but I ratted myself out at dinner later that evening.  Peggy and Dena witnessed my signature.  So we are all good to go, I mean I am all good to go in every respect, paperwork, eternal life but not that I want to go in "The End" of things.  Note to self, don't make Roy mad in the next week so that if I faint or cough or sneeze while in the hospital, he doesn't authorize the plug to be pulled. 

I just returned from the grocery store and have sprayed myself down with a lovely sanitizer in spray form.  I believe I am the very essence of lavender.  Lavender has a calming effect so I probably see a nap in my future.  It is for the good of keeping myself well.  That's what I'm telling myself.

Pro-Ceed-Ure

Roy is on his way home with a lovely dinner from T Jin's.  There is a mist in the air and a fire in the fireplace.  I can't seem to get warm today.  I had planned to spend most of the day here but had a few errands to run this morning.  One of them, Hobby Lobby.  The sky did seem a little more foreboding when I left and I felt like it was my fault because I throw the earth off balance every time I enter a fabric or craft type store. 

It has been a bear trying to find out my surgery/procedure schedule.  I think that receptionist at the Doctor office has it out for me.  She and I have been on shaky ground since she cancelled one of my appointments and then I had to sit there for 3 hours to finally be seen by the Doctor.  I have more luck when the other woman answers the phone.  So after 3 days of trying to get some kind of schedule, I finally got a hold of the nurse late this afternoon and I might add the receptionist did not answer the phone.  Looks like everything is on.  They are waiting for confirmation for pre-op work the day before.  I have to give myself a shot the night before surgery.  That right there could stop this whole process....  Need to find someone who can help me with this.  The reschedule isn't really the best time for Roy, so I might need to find someone who can wait and as soon as Roy takes care of business, he'll come straight to the hospital.  I keep reminding myself and encouraging myself with Psalm 31:15, my times are in God's hands. 

It was a miracle that today both in Hobby Lobby and Michael's that the line for check out was nil, none and several lines were open!  I think HL has also finally computerized their registers.  That is a major miracle! 

It's been nice sitting in front of the fireplace and reading.  I should have chose something lite or fiction or anything else other than what I am reading.  It is stirring up my spirit and not in a good way.  But the book has held my attention. 

Looks like we are getting hardwoods in our bedroom and closet.  Yahoo!  Oh and plantation shutters but I am more excited about getting carpet out of our bedroom. 

When one is almost quarantined or sequestered, there is not a whole lot to write about.  I read about a man who wrote a book called Travels Around my Bedroom.  He was going to take in and observe all the small details that made up that room.  He started out intentionally but soon found his subject matter wandering away from his original idea and he took his readers on many bunny trails, none of which that had to do anything with his bedroom.  If I get bored, I may have to find some kind of subject matter like that to write about.  Wait a minute, I can amuse myself with just about anything.  I won't be bored.  Maybe I should use my time to watch You Tube videos on how to give yourself a shot. 

Sunsets in Rancho de Five-This Has Nothing to Do With This Post

It was rather mundane and uneventful at The Galleria today.  Guess all the stars have gone back to wherever stars live and The Galleria has gone back to its tranquil weekday shopping experience, unless it is at Christmas time.  As I headed to Macy's I noticed dents in and chunks out of the floor.  Has it always been that way or did the weight of all the people over the weekend cause the fissures?  Who knows?  I was happy to make it from The Nord to Macy's without one cart vendor chasing me down saying, "Can I ask you a question?"  Then I respond, you just did.  Yea, that's how I roll but I strolled the mall in relative peace and quiet making a note to myself to change out purses.  I love this purse but I have to tell you it is too heavy.  I don't carry a whole lot in my purse. 

Having lunch with a friend today made my early morning Dr appointment doable.  For the joy set before me I endured the drive and early hour. With the early hour and lack of planning on my part I almost had to wear the uniform but at the last minute I saw a combo of clothes that worked out rather nicely.  We met at The Nord and the crab stack is still the best.  It was a loud happening place, but Erin and I had a wonderful time catching up with life, church life and lunch life.  Before leaving for life flight, I mean home I did a quick walk through the Home section of Nord.  They have some of the neatest stuff right now.  I showed great restraint by not purchasing another journal but I did buy some note paper that has tiny lines.  Love me some tiny lines, I've never been much of a wide rule kind of girl. 

On the way home I stopped at the new Whole Food's Market and World Market.  I don't get over to the other side of Fry very often.  Very fun and I found some Easter eggs at World Market that are cute and cheep, cheep, cheep.  The traffic on Fry didn't even get to me this afternoon.  The end result of a good day but there must be 80 school zones on Fry. 

Just a random observation, but I think points in sermons must be 140 characters or less because almost every church puts the sermon's main points on Twitter during the week. 

Yesterday, Dave Patterson and his associate Brian came over to give us an estimate on Plantation Shutters and having our bedroom and closet floors in hardwoods instead of carpet.  We are really pleased with the prices and the detailed attention Dave gives his clients and friends.  I know he would be this kind and helpful even if he had just met us.  I should have gone with my gut feeling, isn't that just so ladylike to say gut, anyway I originally wanted to do the bedroom in hardwood but got talked out of it.  Even with upgraded carpet and pad, you still create a little path that even constant vacuuming can't defeat.  Once the flooring is done then we can call Roy's friend who does all kind of woodworking and the like to come and put the finishing touches in the kitchen, our bedroom and garage.  He is also going to hang a beautiful antique red gate over the fireplace.  We will also finally get the arty metal piece we bought in Franklin, TN on the wall.  Looks like we might be moving out to the casita bedroom for a bit. 

In the old school of alliteration I should name this post Propane following Proceed and Pro-pause.  Propane would mean Roy will be firing up the grill but it will be more like eating leftover celebratory pizza.  There's joy in each and every bite. 

Pro-Pause

This was a monumental President's Day.  Some of the wonders of the day are not mine to share. but others are.  Roy probably did his last tax return for the last of his clients from his private practice days yesterday.  My monumental President's Day was the rescheduling of my surgery.  I was going to check in with the Doctor office yesterday afternoon but they beat me to the call.  So my proceed has turned into pro-pause.  Truthfully, I was disappointed at hearing this.  I had mentally and emotionally prepared for Thursday.  But as the day progressed I saw some good in the rescheduling but it has presented some challenges that we are currently working through. 

Rancho de Five got some much needed rain yesterday.  It had rained off and on all morning but while we were eating lunch at Victor's in Fulshear the heavens opened.  We caught a little break in the rain when we left.  With the rain coming down in sheets I didn't think that Roy would want to accompany me to Hobby Lobby, so I didn't even broach the subject.  To be honest I didn't really want to go to Hobby Lobby, but I need some decorative Easter eggs to fill a basket.  I bet many of you did not see that sentence coming. 

Preparing for proceed and now pro-pause seems to involve 'nesting.'  I cannot tell you how many projects Roy and I accomplished over the weekend.  I think Roy might be a tad concerned that I have more projects in mind for this weekend.  Give me time....

While doing some research for a friend I ran across a newsletter for Rancho de Five that I have never seen before, much less received before.  Lots of interesting facts and meeting times for HOA and for the Board.  Also a lot of rules and regulations I had never known.  Ignorance of HOA rules is no excuse!  There is a big concern for the increasing duck population and the stern warning of don't feed the ducks emphasized.  Funny, they really don't like kayaks in the water features and lakes around here because of alligators.  Wouldn't it make sense that the duck population would somewhat be regulated by alligators searching for dinner and a snack?  Me thinks the alligator is kind of like crocodile tears or crying wolf.  Oh I'm not saying there aren't alligators but they make you think there is a whole pack, tribe, pride, pod or whatever grouping alligators would be called by, out there.  I am not going to test the waters though.  See what happens when there is Pro-pause?  My ADD kicks in big time because there is a lack of focus. 

See ya later, alligator!

Proceed

So this is it, my first official post from the casita bedroom, with Internet.  Yahoo!  Dan the Man came on Friday afternoon and got us squared away.  It is good on so many levels.  Roy gets the desk top back and I don't have to have the TV blaring in the background.  Only the melodious sound of wind chimes and sometimes I can hear a huge gust of wind, but it is the sound of silence.

Last night I had a really bad panic attack.  Probably the worst one I have had since 2010.  For some reason, while I was watching MSNBC Lockup, I started thinking about the timing of my surgery or maybe it was the lack of timing.  Let me preface my next remark and insure that you know what I am about to say isn't based on anything political.  I wouldn't care if this medical care act was enacted under Bush or Reagan. I would still hate it.  With that being said, I am really not liking Obama Care.  No one right now knows the guidelines in what should or shouldn't be done.  It is all rather confusing I think not only to patients but to the medical providers.  All new forms have been printed up and a whole new range of questions to occupy yourself with while sitting in the waiting room.  So right before bed last night I kind of start getting anxious about the whole thing and the lack of any knowledge of what is going on and I will be honest, it is the stuff I want to control which is really laughable, we control nothing.  In the middle of the night my heart was racing and sloshing and out of control.  I couldn't get warm and I could feel fear all over me.  I have Xanax for moments like these, but I didn't even want to get out of bed.  I was frantic trying to figure out if it was a panic attack or if I needed to call 911 and hope Roy would be awake enough when help arrived.  Middle of the night emergencies are not Roy's forte.   It took about five minutes for me to know, panic not heart attack, but it took forever for everything to calm down and go back to normal.

This morning as I was telling Roy about the wild night he slept through I realized the fear of missing and having to reschedule the heart thing seemed a little more than I could take.  It probably has to do with the one word I have chosen for the year.  My one word is proceed.  This heart journey has taken so many dips and curves and turns.  I probably should have gone ahead and opted to do the ablation last fall but I got scared.  You see before they would do this ablation they had to know for sure my heart would stay in beat on its own.  So at the end of 2011 I went off the heart rhythm meds but in six months I was out of whack again.  Cardioversion in July.  Now to the next step.

Finally in my mind and heart I am ready for this next step and it seems like there is a chance that somebody messed up with scheduling.  Because once I get my heart fixed, my knee is next.  With the prospects of feeling better and not dealing with such intense pain on a daily basis, I am ready to, Proceed.  I read the book One Word Will Change Your Life and loved it!  Usually, I don't care to fill out papers that make me ask questions and these aren't even hard questions.  But I loved doing the exercises and prep work to find my word.

It took a couple of weeks to find my one word.  I did all the prep work from the book and then prayerfully considered the two words I had narrowed my choices down to, proceed and progress.  Proceed seemed to have more layer and texture to it.  It is more of an action word and less of a state of life report.  Proceed seemed to fit perfectly.  In this year on so many levels I want to proceed.  I feel like the last few years have been maintain years.  No forward progress mixed with a few detours and retreats.

So here I am with my word, an out of rhythm heart, a place to call my own in the casita bedroom and sore legs because I did another lap on Roy's trek this afternoon.  Looks like I am ready to proceed.  

Happy Valentine's Day!

I have a new found respect and admiration for mothers of young children.  I think if we had been able to have kids we would have been the youngest members of the home bound ministry at church.  We would have never gone anywhere  because other than getting myself ready, any added distractions totally overwhelm me.  This morning not only did I have to get ready but I needed to warm up some brisket from Goode Company to take to our brunch day.  Yes, I know brisket and a two year old are totally different and I understand that...it is the added extra stuff to the norm.  Because, I have maybe on my own, just one other time, have used my oven.  I have no clue the whole process to temperature and timing.  Roy did tell me as he left this morning, Happy Valentine's Day and I would get that brisket in the over earlier than later.  Words to live by.  So with the pressure of getting the oven hot enough to warm up brisket long enough...I also had to wash my hair.  First hair washing after the haircut, so you know there is a chance that hair is going to do stuff on it's own because it realizes that a non professional is working with it, from scratch.  Back to the oven, so after trial and error, I finally figured out how this timing and temps worked.  I called Roy, no answer.  Come to find out his iPhone wasn't working, so I could not get any help from the resident chef.  But, I didn't know that at the time.  When Roy got to the office he emailed me to let me know about his cell phone.  I asked if he had pressed both the off button and the home button at the same time.  Nancy, the tech advisor to the rescue.  It is a total fluke that I know to do this when a phone turns itself off.  It is true if you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.  World without end, amen.  In the rush to warm brisket and my nervous usage of a flat iron  on my hair coincided at the same time.  I would have more luck warming the brisket using the flat iron.  So, I got in the garage and was about ready to leave when I realized I didn't have the brisket with me.  Back in the house to get the brisket.  Had to come home again, home again because I left my Bible study bag by the garage door.  So long story still long, I was late to prayer time this morning but so were a whole lot of people.  We had a nice brunch in core group and good discussion.

After brunch, Kathleen and I went to pick up Peggy and take her to her hair appointment.  It was her first trip out of the big house in quite sometime.  Things have changed since she has been home bound.  A whole new part of a road has opened right by her house. She is moving around rather well with her walker and now she has beautifully trimmed and coiffed hair to hang around the house.  It is Valentine's Day.  She's looking extra nice for Bill.  We got her home and up the stairs.  I left Kathleen and Peggy to head on home and sit a spell.  Only, I am blogging a spell. 

So favorite moment of the day?  I might still be waiting for it. 

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

One

I love these moments where Buddy sits on my lap and takes her paw and rubs my face.  Please don't spoil it by telling me she is just marking her territory or that it means 'I am planning to rip your face off.'  Most of her stuffed toys have lost their faces over the years.  She doesn't do that to her sheep that she distributes or should that be leads all over the house.  Although one sheep in particular has had its feet chewed off.  I think the old Sunday School story goes that a sheep that wanders sometimes has its leg broken to stay close to the shepherd while healing.  Buddy must really love that wayward sheep. 

On this first day of Lent I caught up with the Tuesday thing and had pancakes at Le Peep.  I had an eye appointment today and got a good report from my doctor.  Going rimless this time and I also picked out a new pair of sunglasses because mine are several prescriptions behind.  A few years ago I gave up the rimless because I thought everyone who wore them was trying to look young.  Today I am thinking and what's wrong with that?  The tech brought over several pairs of glasses with fancy temple and arm decor but I've decided that look isn't really for me, although my sunglasses are Vera Bradley with a little pattern on the arms. Afterwards I ran a few errands, stopped for lunch and then on my way toward I 10, I stopped at Goode Company and got some barbecue for lunch tomorrow with my core group at CBS.  We have finally made it to the chapter 11, the hall of faith.  It's kind of like when you study Romans and you finally hit Romans 12. 

While eating my cinnamon pecan pancakes and soft scrambled eggs, I read a new book I downloaded last week.  The book's name is Writing Away.  The book is intended to help you keep a travel journal and the whole first chapter is devoted to finding the right journal and pen.  She also helps you prepare for the journey with hints on how to set up and start the journal even before you depart.  If I never was able to read another chapter in the book I would feel like I got my money's worth.  To a person who has journal acquiring disease, these were some blessed instructions.  She also helps you get over finally writing something in your journal without thinking you have ruined the whole thing and you must begin again...with another journal...which I have a sizable sum to chose from.  I am going to use her system of detailed writing on your favorite moment of the day.  In the front of your journal you set up a three column type thing to help you keep track of the one moment.  This will dovetail nicely with my one word will change your life exercise.  To be honest one word, one moment, one Lord, one faith, one baptism...oops, has fit in nicely with #livewonderstruck.  The only thing keeping n from the e in the wonderstruck is a d.  So one is found in the word wonderstruck.  That quiet moment reading and savoring much missed Le Peep pancakes was a good moment of the day.  It just might make it into the moment of the day. 

 Sometimes this is so much curiosity about Jesus between the age of 12 in the Temple and the beginning of His ministry.  In Late Night Cathecism there is a line in the play that goes something like Joseph and Mary finally found Jesus back at the Temple and she said, "you are so grounded!"  Thus that's why we don't hear anything about Him until the age of 30.  While that is funny I read the other day a different look at that time and passage.  We last read of Jesus in the Temple reading the Torah as a child and upon the first glimpse of Him in the Gospels, after forty days in the wilderness, and Satan comes to tempt, Jesus responds with; "It is written."  That is what he was doing all those years.  Absorbing and studying His Father's Word.  I believe I read this in Walking in the Footsteps of Jesus by Wayne Stiles.   Good to ponder in this Lenten season. 

Lint Lent...Kind of Like Mary Mary

Lent is off to a good start here in our household.  Last night Roy helped with the pancake supper at the Episcopal church he goes to on Saturday morning.  He loves their men's Bible study.  Roy is a great pancake maker but he is also a good cleaner upper.  He got there a little too late to help cook.  So he stayed around and helped mop up syrup and butter from the tables.

I know that Lent is spelled with an e when it has to do with the season before Easter but keeping the lint screen in the dryer from building up with lint is almost a daily thing. So clearly I practice lint all year long.  This morning as I sit here looking at the cloud filled sky with patches of light I am thinking of Lent.  It is Ash Wednesday, a day not really observed by Baptists as a whole, but this Baptist is going into Easter with the forty days of Lent.  Margaret Feinberg challenged her readers to see what they could 'lay a hold of in Christ' this season instead of giving something up.  Sometimes Lent seems to be associated by nature with New Year resolutions...start out strong and sometime after the third week you stop observing Lent or totally forget those resolutions.  If I felt led to give something up, of course I would be tempted to give up stuff like going to church, not ordering from Nordstrom...you get the line of thought here.  This blog post by Wayne Stiles gives me much to think about. 

These verses are my Lent verses to base my experience in laying a hold of Christ.

Hebrews (The Voice translation)

12 So lift up your hands that are dangling and brace your weakened knees. 13 Make straight paths for your feet so that what is lame in you won’t be put out of joint, but will heal.

I know, strange verses.  I usually used this for playing sports.  But these verses have deeper meaning this year.  I am not going to come right out and announce my Lenten choice but I certainly will be writing about it in the coming weeks. 

Looks like the first reading of this season will be the Living Will and Medical Power of Attorney that Roy has so lovingly researched and printed. (Maybe I should rename it Lenten Will)  He even went through the documents and put little flags where I need to have witnesses sign the documents.  He is probably biting the bullet in not saying anything to me like he did when I hadn't shown any interest in reading the refinance contract on our house.  This morning before leaving for the office he asked me to at peruse everything and know what I was signing up for.  That might be what I am not signing up for.  I could hear the strain in his voice...Maybe I should have picked up clues from him last night when he kept interrupting the riveting episode of Dance Moms to point out how he was flagging certain pages.

Happy First Day of Lent!  I have already participated in Lint this morning.  Got a load of clothes in the dryer. 

Give Me a Beat

It was a dark and stormy night.  Actually, it is a dark and rainy morning but the weather reports all conclude that this rain and fog will clear by afternoon.  Yesterday would have been the perfect kind of day to stay home and read but that perfect day became the perfect couple of hours because I found myself out and about for a majority of the day.  It was quite a fun day.  The morning was spent in conversations and gathering facts for my upcoming procedure.  It's a tad bit frustrating all the hoops the hospitals have to do through now.  I decided to see if I could reschedule my hair appointment because of the timing of it with my almost scheduled and 95% certain procedure time.  Stevie could see me at 2:15 so I jumped at the chance to get a trim and shape up.  As the days grow closer to Emmanuel opening a location in Katy, I am that more thankful.  Road construction on the Grand Parkway will be a booger bear to get through once they get into the heart of construction. 

I called Peggy to see if anyone was making or bringing lunch to her.  Nope.  So I had the good fortune to bring over some Chicky after I ran into Target for a few thing and for a few things I didn't even know I needed.  I am so happy that her whole lunch made it up the stairs and into the house because last Friday her Coke met its untimely demise on her driveway.  Now this is kind of eerie, on my Twitter feed there was a Tweet from McDonald's yesterday saying, need to reconcile with someone, bring them an item off our dollar menu.  Thankfully a dropped Coke didn't ruin our friendship and believe me a "reconciliation" gift would be something more than an item off the dollar menu.  Peggy's knee is healing up nicely and has had pain but limited amounts of pain.  She's moving well and has such a positive attitude which is HUGE in any kind of healing process. 

As I went about the day I kept a finger on the pulse of my heart rate.  Oh Nancy, you puny, puny person.  Anyway, I had a few little tremors that rated about a 2.1 on the Keep the Beat and Stay in Rhythm scale.  As compared to Sunday, these were just a blip on the screen...  I am so thankful for the prayers by my friends.  It is so encouraging to read on Facebook or in an email the affirming, comforting words of, 'I'm praying.'  After reading the book Wonderstruck  and with the #livewonderstruck challenge so fresh in my spirit, I am so overwhelmed by the goodness and faithfulness of God in the people He puts in and around our lives.  You truly can see His kindness, compassion and love in words and in action. 

Sunday evening we went to Bayou City Fellowship's first evening worship service.  Since we had missed church because of heart blips and since we weren't in the mood to drive all the way in, it was an easy and joyful decision for BCF.  We got to see so many friends there and that was just the bow on the package kind of deal, but we loved the worship and the sermon.  Curtis preached from Matthew, where Jesus and his disciples are at Ceasera Phillipi and Peter declares that Jesus is the Son of God, the Messiah.  This is also where on your Holy Land tour is known as the gates of Hell stop.  This is also where we had our drive-by foot washing ceremony.  I took lots and lots of notes from Curtis' talk.  Before the service we ran into Amanda and she told me to go down front and be prayed over by someone on their prayer team for my upcoming procedure/surgery at the end of the service.  Now those of you who know me well, know that I rarely if ever respond to come down front for prayer invitation.  I told her I would but I struggled with really following through.  When that time came I hesitated but I felt the prompting of the spirit to go to one particular couple to be prayed for.  I think Roy was shocked that I was actually walking down the aisle.  They blessed me and prayed such a wonderful, faith-filled prayer.  All throughout the service I could feel that familiar sloshing of my heart beat that usually turns into a racing heart episode.  Love how God uses everything.  As we stood there and as they prayed, the drum and the bass of the band hit a particularly low and hard note.  I felt the music reverberate inside me and just like that, the band had put my heart back into a normal rhythm.

Off to leadership meeting and points beyond....

Sunday Afternoon Nancy Vespers

The other day someone told me I was looking like I felt good and I did but this person added I bet there are a lot of days you don't feel good.  Bet you are good at putting on a happy face and going through the motions of feeling good.  Yep, she nailed it on the head.  Here of late it is only for a few hours here and there and not like it used to be days upon days of not feeling good.  When my heart races for any extended period of time I find myself weary and exhausted.  It's as if I have been running a marathon and then not cooling down properly because I don't know when the racing is going to stop and when the fast falling heart rate is going to kick in.  I've even tried to map this or look for any kind of consistency that starts this whole thing.  So far, in my non professional opinion, can't find any factors that are conclusive.  Well, except for getting hot.  Not the getting kind of hot that preachers boast about when they refer to their wives...really, can you see the CEO or CFO of a Fortune 500 company giving an investor's report and then refer to their wife as a hot babe?  I know, only in churches.  This morning heat didn't play a factor in my heart episode.  So we stayed home from church and went out to breakfast a little later in the morning.  We came home and I began to do some Bible study and another episode began.  Fast racing heart beat and the oxygenation of my blood dropped significantly.  This last one took several hours to get over.  Although I feel hung over and I cannot confirm nor deny why I would even know about this, I am feeling much better.  I am so ready to get this heart of mine fixed and ready to roll. 

Roy just left me with a legal document that is a million or so pages long while he goes out trekking on his new bike.  It is a living will and medical power of attorney.  I have been putting off having these but the hospital wants me to bring them with me.  Ugh!  At least Roy found some that I can halfway understand and has a little more give and take room.  So if I cough, they won't immediately pull the plug or something.  I have read the first few pages but don't have much of an attention span this afternoon.  Thus, I am blogging.  Doing something that I like to do. 

Yesterday Roy brought home his three wheeler.  I got on it and rode around the cul de sac and it is a lot of fun!  He went around our water feature and can't wait to ride on more trails around the area. 

We went over to some friends last night for dinner.  Delicious!  Homemade gumbo.  Of course that is the way to Roy's heart, good gumbo.  We had a blast laughing and talking and of course eating. 

Years ago our church offered the Boundaries study by Dr's Cloud and Townsend.  Out of all the attendees, I was the only one there because I said no to most things.  Everyone else was there because they said yes to everything, thus they are worn out and with no boundaries.  It was good for me to do that study because I did begin to say yes to some things.  I must have been ahead of my time because so many are preaching and teaching these days about saying no. And I'm not talking about saying no to drugs or premarital sex.   Articles on being more productive comes from more rest, more margin in your lives.   We can live such frantic lives at such a torrid pace that we can't, won't and don't stop.   I have no idea why I just wrote all of the above.  I've certainly slowed down and slowing down was a dictated choice I had to make.  Guess I am thinking about when my energy level returns, will I go right back at being busy, filling time and letting others dictate my schedule.  Probably not, but it is something I have been giving thought to. 

Adventures in Babysit... I Mean Life

There is a lingering presence of our adventure in dining last night.  Last night Roy grilled hamburgers.  They were delicious!  This morning as I proceeded to make breakfast the strong, STRONG, odor of onions filled the air but only in a corner of our counter top.  The corner where the coffee maker and toaster reside.  Ugh, gag...I searched and then found some Febreeze and sprayed it all around the counter top...eureka or U reek a is no more.  That is until I opened the trash can and the onion odor greeted me from beyond the trash.  Onions will wake one up in the morning, but not in a good way. 

As the days roll closer to Lent I've been thinking about those forty days.  My denomination hasn't been big into Lent participation although there are some who participate.  I have off and on throughout the years.  Margaret Feinberg's blog got me to thinking:

Beginning on Ash Wednesday (which falls on February 13nd, this year), many people choose to give something up for 40 days in this season of preparation.
But as I suggest in Wonderstruck, maybe the question we need to ask as we enter Lent isn’t, “What are you giving up for Lent?” as much as “What do you want to lay hold of during Lent?”
The wonders of God are waiting for you during Lent. This season is laced with opportunity that will stir your hunger to know God more.
How will you lay hold of the wonders of Lent?

I'm excited about the prospect of finding out what will I lay hold of in the wonders of Lent.  I loved doing the #livewonderstruck challenge and I've been able to see more clearly the wonders of God here in the everyday of life.  On Thursday morning we had much to rejoice over in our core group time.  Had a fabulous lunch with Laurie M.  Got to have a surprise dinner with Dena because she had an appointment near us out here on the prairie.  Friday I got to babysit Peggy and have a fabulous lunch prepared by Kathleen.  Friday afternoon Roy and I took care of some chores around the house and then he fixed hamburgers with all the trimmings, including the stinky onions.  In all these activities and in all these things I perceived and saw the wonder of God in the littlest details and also the fun details of life.  I will also note that meals seem to be a huge emphasis in this paragraph.  That is quite by accident or is it?

Our local McDonald's is an adventure in drive through.  I don't know if ours would ever win any kind of quickness or efficient award.  Peggy wanted a sausage biscuit so instead of going with my first instinct which was going to the McDonald's by her, I stopped at the one closest to me.  Big mistake, sat for ten minutes in line because the line never moved.  I was able to back up and get out of the line that held so many captive and make my way to the other Mickey D.  It took me less time to drive over there, wait in line, put in the gate code at Peg's and pull into the driveway than waiting in the drive through line from heck.  Sadly, I did drop Peggy's Coke and I offered to go get her another one but she graciously or drugily said it was OK.  Whew!  Because Peggy never can sit still unless otherwise grounded, we had a great conversation and were halfway focused because both of us were limited in the amount of movement.  She was a good patient and is doing well.  At least under my watch she did well.   Since Peggy is such a good friend to many, you can only imagine the amount of reciprocity that is being returned and they say that so much of this comes from being in a Sunday School class.  Nope I think it has to do more with kindness, thoughtfulness and living a generous life although being a member of a good class has its perks too. 

Roy has gone to pick up his Trek.  He is so excited!  This will also be an adventure. 

Uniform Day

Even being up early this morning it is looking like a uniform type day.  It has actually been a uniform type week because on Tuesday it was the light denim shirt with dark jeans and today it is going to be a denim shirt, tank top with jeans.  I'm not even wanting to put any thought into this.  If these spring temps keep up I will be wearing the spring uniform sooner than later and this is just replacing jean capris for the jeans. 

Our home is in a mixed metaphor state.  There are Valentine decorations and some Easter stuff is out as well.  Easter is sooner than last year and I think after Christmas I like spring/Easter decor about the best.  Being totally honest, I used to make fun of people who would have said what I have just written. 

Something I rarely do is have the TV on during the day but yesterday afternoon I had the Toddlers & Tiaras marathon on as background noise.  This is nothing to be proud of but I couldn't believe I hadn't seen most of the episodes that were on yesterday.  The shows probably have been rather repetitious, mom want kid in pageants, kid does well in pageants, to go up another level they are going to bring their A game, most of these people don't seem to have enough disposable income to consistently afford pageants and almost all the kids are huge, disrespectful brats.  Really, who can blame the kids?  They are catered to, appeased and rewarded for that sassy behavior that on stage translates into having personality. But in everyday life, plain and simple is disrespectful.  The kids are being conditioned for an out of whack reward system that soon won't be satisfied with candy, Barbies or whatever the latest trend is.  It also seems rather ludicrous and this goes for all beauty pageants that the not real is what puts one over to win.  Fake tan, fake nails, fake teeth, and fake eyelashes.  I guess T&T begat all these other shows like Dance Moms and Cheer Perfection where adults act like children.  I am so over watching Honey Boo Boo but it is ironic that they seem to have the strongest family values of any of these types of shows. 

Yesterday, after reviewing Hebrews homework and commentary, I decided to get ahead of the game and start next week's homework.  No, I haven't become this great student but with the schedule I have for the next few days I knew to get a jump start.  It also didn't hurt that we are FINALLY at Hebrews 11.  It's kind of the same feeling when you are studying Romans and are so happy when you finally arrive at Chapter 12,  I went back to Genesis 6 and re-read it, the story of Noah.  There were several insights and facts that I had never considered before in the story of Noah but one verse that got my attention was Genesis 8:22.  We so live in the biblical words when it comes to seasons here in Texas. 

"As long as the earth remains, there will be planting and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night."

No mention of having a spring or fall.  And after watching the news last night the extent of human wickedness seems to be in high supply just as in the days of Noah. 

Well, easing into the day has quickly become the start of the day, so I've got to go get my uniform on. 

We Hit the Old Person's Trifectta!

Last night we went to see Peggy at Methodist.  On Monday she had her right knee replaced.  It was a great time to go visit because all the morphine the Dr injected around her knee is still effective.  To tell you the truth for me to go to the Med Center voluntarily is a huge big deal.  I can now add another destination to my limited knowledge of the Medical Center.  I picked up Roy from the office and we headed to the busiest, most frantic, active place in the city of Houston.  There isn't a bar or a club that can compete with the energy on the streets there.  Oh yes, someone once told me about how bars and clubs are just filled with energy...that's how I know that fact.  The best discovery breakthrough in medicine has to be valet parking.  Truly adding valet parking has changed lives everywhere.  Once you leave the streets and come into the lobby of a hospital, there is a welcomed respite.  In hindsight we should have visited the chapel and the gift shop before going up to see Peggy.  Chapel to calm down and shopping to bring joy.  I brought Peggy a quarter but she told me to keep it so we could get out of the parking garage.   If Twinkies were still around I would have brought her one because the foundation of our friendship is partially built on a Twinkie smashed onto my knee.  When we got to her room the door was shut and I was hesitant to knock but we did and were welcomed into her room.  The door was shut because Keely and Jaime were there with Peggy and Bill.  Guess the door was shut more for Keely.  Jaime was her well-behaved self.  Had a great visit and even took some pictures to put up on Facebook.  We stayed about an hour and I fully hoped that life had calmed down a little bit outside.  It had but not by much.  While we waited for our car, I had a lovely conversation with another woman maybe a little older than me, about comfortable shoes.  Oh my...that is what getting older has come to. 

Once Roy and I hit West U I knew exactly what to do but he insisted that we needed to take a left at one street and not a right.  I knew it wasn't the right move, but either I was being submissive or stupid to turn left.  I think I will choose submissive but it was stupid.  So we took a little tour and enjoyed the dark streets of West U and finally found ourselves on 59.  Because of all the hectic movement and maybe because he was feeling a little guilty about the left turn he even agreed to eating at Cracker Barrel on the way home.  The only time Roy will willingly eat at CB is on trips.   Gee, comfortable shoes, Cracker Barrel, I need just one more thing to have an old person's trifectta.  I wanted to eat there more because I wanted pancakes and Roy really has vowed never to eat at a IHOP again.  Turned out to be a great decision because with all those carbs, we were in bed before 10:00.  There we have it ladies and gentlemen the old person's trifectta, comfortable shoes, Cracker Barrel and asleep before 10:00 pm. 

Football, Hurdles and Overwhelming Spaces

This past weekend is the biggest weekend in professional football unless opening day is counted when every team has an equal chance of being in the Super Bowl.  We watched parts of the game and it was kind of comical because I was watching on TV and Roy had the game split screen with some work he was doing on the computer.  Only thing, the game was on a delay so while I was wildly screaming or bemoaning an aspect of the game, Roy would respond with, what?  Don't tell me?  Oh, I'll come in there and watch the replay.  Of course at 8:00 I retreated to the bedroom to watch Downton Abbey.  The game can't be talked about without the blackout of 2013 in the Super Dome.  My Tweet was, "In 9 months there will be a lot of babies named Raven." 

I started out the twenty four hours of intense football complete with a million hours of pre-game hype, by watching Brian's Song, 1971 version on Saturday night.  I think the last time I watched this made for TV movie was in 1971.  Interesting note, the set for Gale Sayer's home in the  movie was the same one used for Bewitched.  It was at this moment I knew I had watched too much TV when I was younger.  To be able to identify the front and inside of the Bewitched house triumphs being able to divide or multiply fractions.  At least when I watched Brian's Song and when I began to cry, Roy wasn't sitting beside me, starring like he did last week during Downton Abbey.  Lots of cheesy acting by today's standards but the theme of the movie remains relevant, friendship and the lasting impact upon our lives made by friends. Many times the influence has come from those who we would least likely be friends with.  Who I am today and turning out pretty good despite a very rough and hard childhood has been at least 90%  determined by  positive impact from friends and mentors throughout my life.

After church yesterday we had lunch with Dena.  The laugh meter is off the charts when we get to have lunch together.  Even  Roy is throwing in some zingers in between his serious comments.  Lunch was a great platform for our next thing on the day's agenda.  For months Roy has been researching bikes, recumbent bikes and three wheel Treks.  Several weeks ago he went to a local bike shop and tried out the different styles available and he has been printing out accessories to compliment his new ride in the evenings at home.  We went yesterday thinking we would place an order but the shop had received a new Trek that was in the middle price wise.  After a quick ride while I remained behind at the shop as collateral, Roy knew he had found his new ride.  He picked out all his biking accessories and will pick his Trek up next week.  He is so excited!  I am happy for him and when he is not riding that bad boy, I will be able to ride and without the worries of my limited balance tossing me over to a side.  I wanted to get him white streamers to put at the end of his handle bar grip but he discouraged that.  I wonder why? 

The results of my blood work came in late Friday afternoon and I was pleasantly surprised.  No, that is a huge understatement, I was SURPRISED!  Incredibly happy and thankful too.  So hurdle number 2 has been accomplished in the continual quest for successful heart surgery.  So what is the first hurdle to jump? My ejection fraction is below normal but is high enough to endure the procedure and thus a normal ejection fraction should happen after surgery.  Thus my debilitating fatigue will dissipate.  Oh Happy Day!  So blood work and ejection fraction are good to go.  With each passing day in the midst of the countdown, my attitude about all this, which has never been bad, is being energized with hope and belief.  I always have a little bit of apprehension about anaesthesia though. 

I'm just about finished reading The Art of Travel.  Very well written and I have learned a lot from the author, who happens to be an atheist.  I have a richer appreciation of God, His creation, and the mind and heart He has given us and the immense creativity that resides within us, waiting to be expanded and explored.  I think he gives one of the finest explanations of Job and suffering.  The author is writing from the midst of the desert, around Mt Sinai and the vastness, the wilderness and the barrenness of the land he asks this question, "What do barren, overwhelming spaces do for us?"

"Asked to explain why Job has been made to suffer even though he has been good, God draws Job's attention to the mighty phenomena of nature

• Don't be surprised that things have not gone your way, He declares the universe (God, is my interpretation of universe.) is greater than you
• Do not be surprised that you do not understand why they have not gone your way, for you cannot fathom the logic of the universe (God)
• See how small you are next to the mountain. 
• Accept what is bigger than you and what you do not understand

The world may appear illogical to you, but it does not follow that it is illogical per se.  Our lives our not the measure of all things : consider sublime places for a reminder of human insignificance and fragility.  God assures Job that he has a place in His heart, even if all events do not center around him (Job) and may at times appear to to run contrary to his (Job's) interest.  When divine wisdom eludes human understanding, the righteous, made aware of their limitations by the spectacle of sublime nature, must continue to trust in God's plans for the universe." 

I would insert here from Isaiah, "His ways are higher than our ways, His thoughts are higher than our thoughts."

This book as I have mentioned before, weaves in perfectly with Wonderstruck by Margaret Feinberg.  This is the last day of the #wonderstruck challenge.  The last day's word is listening. 

Speaking of listening the washing machine timer just went off and I must get back to my earthly chores.  I must say the overwhelmingness of laundry is making me feel rather small and question how two people can create in a week's time so much dirty clothing. 

Drat!!!

The clouds frame the sun perfectly as the sun rises in Rancho De Five.  Never have been much of a sunrise girl, I am more a sunset type, but this has changed since we came to the prairie.  The past few days the doves have returned to our bird feeder and I feel so guilty that I can't place any seed out for them because of the unwanted vermin lurking about looking for a home.  Last weekend when our neighbor came over to retrieve a football from our yard, Roy told him about the migration because of all the land that is being cleared around us.  Our neighbor, who must be Hindu, said he couldn't kill anything.  Drat that reincarnation belief.  There is a little hole that has been fashioned by cute little bunnies or vermin between our yards and I think Roy is going to fill in the pathway of the underground railroad and then put a board up.  I know, vermin can chew through anything, but it is like having an alarm on your house, hopefully it is a deterrent and you are making it more difficult by adding an extra layer of protection.  Extra layer of protection sounds like a commercial for lotion or sunscreen.  Nor would it be a hedge of protection, cause we got no hedge. 

I think I have seen enough doctors for the week and I have the bruising from blood work to prove it.  My once yearly appointment has now become my every three months appointment to monitor my kidneys, thyroid and something else that I have forgotten because the medicine I am on does major damage to those organs.  It works because it resides in all your tissue and is not eliminated by eliminating.  It takes months for it to leave your system and I have been on it for too long.  It will also make me be accountable in other areas like, you know, weight control.  I have gained weight but under the line of demarcation.  In fact, she didn't even bring it up but I have a feeling we will be talking about it when the blood work comes back.  She has been on the heart journey with me since the beginning.  She is thrilled that we are taking the next course of action because she said if this doesn't get fixed my life and quality of life will be on a fast decline because nothing else can be fixed or heal until my heart gets in order.  Huge spiritual application rushed through my mind when she said that but of course I couldn't think about that or I would miss what she was telling me health-wise.  Drat that ADD.  Then they took a copious amount of blood and I asked if I could weigh in again because I am sure they took like 3 pounds of blood.

A couple of weeks ago when the lawn of the month guy was here he left us a note telling us to turn off our sprinkler system for a month to let the grass rest and for the nut grass to die.  Lord knows we don't need more nut grass in our lives.  It was not a season for watering, it was a season of rest.  That has resonated in my spirit other than the importance of yard care with this season of life.   I don't think I would have ever chosen this heart path but it in it I have learned some valuable truth and though I long for days of stamina and strength I hope never to lose the appreciation I have experienced of being quiet, solitude, silence (I know that is like being quiet, but silence is the background noise, I'm the one who is learning to be quiet) and letting my spirit be restored.  When I left my job due to health reasons, I was feeling pretty low and burnt out.  Who knew that working at a church could turn out to be so hard?  I thought the politics of tennis were difficult...  Somewhere yesterday, I think on a blog but who knows or maybe it was a tweet...anyway this person who I would give credit to if I could remember them wrote; we too often compare ourselves with other people and that's how we become self righteous...Oh John Acuff...Stuff Christians Like blog..  We are to become more like Christ and not look at others and think I am more like Christ than they are because I don't do________.   Drat the funny blog that speaks huge truths into our lives!

Well, the Internet connection in the casita bedroom is not working so Roy ordered a wireless booster or something.  I think he would like to retake ownership of his study and the desk top computer.  It's usually not a problem until, we are both home.  I don't spend as much time as I thought I would out there in the casita, but that is going to change.  I set that room up for my projects and such.  When the man installed the TV out there, we think we cut the Ethernet line.    I was also telling Roy that I don't know that the lap top ever really turns off because as soon as you open it the start menu thing comes up and then you log in.  I love this...he tells me, there is a sleep and a shut down option on the menu.  What!!  Does he think I am hard of seeing?  Of course I know that and know the difference between sleep and shut down.  So in true loving and sweet wife form I kept telling him I am going to shut down i.e. brush my teeth and wash my face and then sleep.  I know he appreciated hearing that about 25 times before we went to bed.  Drat that cut line!

I'm still doing the Wonderstruck challenge, but haven't written about it.  Today's word is Restore.  It fits perfectly with my one word which I have yet to share on the blog, but I will soon.  Yes, everyone is waiting with baited breath for the big reveal.  Which reminds me of our Mission 1:8 at church.  I was telling a friend the other day about this, is it an event, not a program, a ministry...yep I will go with ministry that our church is ramping up, a word I vowed never to use again in 2011 but it is 2013 so guess I am free to use it, that our church is in the early process of the reveal and how exciting it has been.  I don't know but I must have been having a dyslectic day because I found out later I was calling it Mission 8:1.  My friend texted me later and said are you sure it is based on Acts 8:1?  Wouldn't it be Acts 1:8.  Wow, totally my bad...because Acts 8:1 is:

Saul was one of the witnesses, and he agreed completely with the killing of Stephen.

A great wave of persecution began that day, sweeping over the church in Jerusalem; and all the believers except the apostles were scattered through the regions of Judea and Samaria.

 

Drat the meds that have done a thing with my brain function!  But we did have a good laugh about it.  Wow, my bad. 

 

Having lunch a little later with Peggy and Kathleen, so I better stop blogging and start the getting ready process.  There ain't no drat when it comes to lunch with friends.

Tuesday Things

I'm officially typing this on my new lap top.  This seems pretty nice although I am not too keen on Windows 8.  Not to worry that always seems to be how I feel about new technology.  At first I hated the keyboard on my Nook and iPhone.  Now, I don't give it a second thought.  Finding everything under different tabs is still an adventure.

The wind is something fierce today.  The Wonderstruck Challenge is sunset.  I think I may have to pull one of the beautiful sunsets from Israel.  When we didn't have all the houses behind us, we had great access and viewing to the sunsets.  Now we get better sunrises since we have green space to our east.

While at the doctor office yesterday I finished up reading One Word Can Change Your Life.  It is a very quick read but full of interesting concepts and exercises.  Sometimes we can get overwhelmed with resolutions and by the middle of January we have broken almost everyone of them.  With this you chose one word.  You seek and ponder and pray over what that word should be and then you have your word for the year.  Even if you start in June, you just do that word for six months and then start the process anew.  I had several different words rolling around in my spirit but slowly but surely I had my choice down to two words. I told Dena the words I was considering but before I had heard back from her, I had made my choice and her email confirmed that I had picked the right word for this year.  I will probably do a separate blog post on this as I am doing the research and completing questions.

On Sunday Roy and I headed back out to Brookwood.  I had been out there Saturday while Roy worked on setting up this computer.  I wasn't gone nearly enough time.  Anyway, I told him about the Christmas decorations that were 75% off, even some of the very ones we had looked at and thought about buying in December.  I figured that the ones I liked would have already been purchased by now but when I saw the area with the outdoor stuff I was so excited to see the two main pieces that we liked were still there, barely.  Two ladies were looking at them and they decided they would come back after they ate and purchase them. Hah, the one who has already eaten lunch gets the prize.  While I went to find a cart two others started looking at what we wanted to buy but they walked on and I grabbed up what we had looked at and a few other pieces.  We got the stuff and then put it in the car and heck while we were out at Brookwood we might as well go inside and look at the indoor Christmas decorations that were 75% off.  We found two really cool reindeer  red glitter and some other decorative items.  As we were checking out I heard a lady say, someone bought the outdoor decor we wanted and now those two bought the reindeer we liked.  I didn't have the heart to say we were one in the same when it came to 75% Christmas purchases.

I have another round of doctor appointments tomorrow.  Since I will be in the area I hope to stop in at Trader Joe's.  I have only been to the one in Nashville and had a great time.  Sprouts will be opening in March out here in Rancho de Five.  I am more excited about their opening than Whole Food.

Leadership meeting was good this morning.  I thought the homework this week was more interesting and to tell the truth, easier to answer.  I love our sharing and praying time.  In the back of my mind I always wonder if I am doing a good job, if we cover the subjects in core group or if I am a tad lighthearted.  In the mail today I had a handwritten note from one of the ladies in the class and her note was so encouraging.  My word of the year came into play with the note and experienced once again God's confirmation that I am where He has planned all along for me to be.

OK, I better save this cause I have no idea if it will publish correctly or not.  Off to find an Israel sunset to post on FB and Twitter.

Wonderstruck-You-Do Something That Makes Your Heart Happy

Today's Wonderstruck challenge is You.  Well, actually it really not you when I personalize it, so it's me.  We are to take some time to do something we enjoy and experience God's presence. 

Life is one of God’s greatest wonders. Much of your life is spent giving, serving, and working. But today the challenge is to do something that makes you—just you—feel rejuvenated, refreshed, and joyful. Maybe spend some time outside. Or, grab a meal at your favorite bistro. Spend time knitting or enjoying your favorite craft. A coffee date with a friend. A great novel. Spend time today doing something that makes you grateful to be alive and rediscover the abundant life that awaits you each and every day. Even if it’s something simple. It doesn’t have to be complicated. But, it does need to be something that makes your heart happy.


How funny, it has to be something that makes your heart happy and being grateful to be alive.  I went to the cardiologist office this morning so that is my You time.  I believe this is the first time I actually got to have my original appointment and not be rescheduled.  So, I dressed in my second uniform of choice, after my dark jeans and jean jacket costume, denim shirt with a tank top  and jeans.  I try to make it as easy as possible for them to do the EKG.  It was a happening place at the doctor's office.  Once again I was the youngest one in the waiting room that was actually a patient and not there to accompany an older adult.  Ernest, the guy who asks all the questions and does the EKG responded when I told him that, you could use the opportunity to network with people who are experiencing the same thing.  Uh no thank you, I am trying my best NOT to become one of them.  EKG looked great and that is due to the wonderful meds I take but one particular med is one that and these are the words of my learned, professional doctor, you are too young to be on these for very long. It is very hard on the kidneys and liver.  I experience so many bad side effects with it and I will not bore or gross you out with said effects.   So I am going to have ablation surgery in February, several weeks away.  I love how they tell you the benefits and then in hushed tone tell you the five things that can go wrong. 

Another part of the day that made my heart happy was the funny conversation that I had with Peggy this afternoon.  We must have talked on the phone for 45 minutes.  That might be our longest phone conversation ever!  We were both laughing so hard at the myriad of stories we were telling each other and once again we made the vow not to become "one of those cranky old ladies."  We want to be fun and not so cranky as we age. 

My heart was happy yesterday as my crazy friend Debbie and I texted.  She was having the dreaded procedure that the Doctors like you to have over the age of 50 this morning.  I felt so much better about my morning after hearing about hers.

I could not believe Downton Abbey last night.  It did not make my heart happy. What???!!!  I was DVRing it, so the first time I watched it...live on PBS... I was talking with Dena.  I was paying attention to our conversation but watching the TV and I couldn't believe what I saw and I knew I had to watch the DVR as soon as I got off the phone because surely what happened, didn't happen and there would be a surprise just like when Matthew wasn't paralyzed and walked or we found out it had all been a dream on Dallas.  Or finding out House Hunters is fake and so is Storage Wars.  So, I am watching it with sound on the DVR crying, the snot cry as I not only watched but heard the story play out.  In the midst of the most riveting scene when Lady Sybil is in the throws of some darn good acting, Roy stands in front of the TV, what????, and asks me like I am not sitting there crying, did his pants and shirt look good together for the office on Monday.  I am wildly gesturing, get out of the way, move, don't ask me anything and I prepared to throw the remote at him, but then he would have the power and I looked for a book to throw.  He then proceeds to sit with me, not to watch the show, but to watch me....crying.  I don't cry very often.  He wasn't even trying to sneak peek, he sat there, not blinking and watched me cry.   Afterwards, he started making fun of me...crying at such a thing.  I came this close to reminding him about his movie emotions from 'When Peggy Sue Got Married."  He was a hot mess but of course back then in the 80's we didn't say hot mess.  It was a tad embarrassing as we left the movie theatre. 

Yep, all the above made my heart happy, well except for Downton but remembering Roy's movie emotions did make up for the sadness.  I felt close to God through all of this especially when I was aggravated at Roy...I felt close because I was confessing sin of wanting to throw something at Roy and not thinking very nice thoughts.

Sunday

Well it's a new day out here on the prairie.  The fog didn't materialize and we are enjoying March temperatures in January. 

We met our neighbor who lives behind us yesterday.  A purple football accidentally came over the fence and into our yard.  So the father and son had come to retrieve it.  They were very nice but their English was limited.  They are from India.  So a mission field just over the fence instead of across the world.  Earlier in the week I found a tennis ball on the patio and since I didn't take this as a sign from God to start playing tennis again, I threw the ball back over the fence taking a guess from the angle it landed to which yard to return it to. 

After months and months of research of iPads, tablets and small lap tops we finally made our decision and purchase yesterday.  It came down to what I really wanted the device to provide and we went with the small lap top.  I have a Nook that I love and an iPhone, so I couldn't see getting an iPad when writing was the main reason for a purchase.  So, I have a new lap top.  Learning how to use Windows 8 and where everything is hasn't been very easy.  In fact Roy sent me out while he loaded the computer because nothing ever goes right when it comes to computer set up.  My thinking is turn it on, it should be ready to go.  So, I went to Brookwood.  Easter decor is up and available for purchase which I did.  Christmas is 75% off so we might go back today and look at a couple of outdoor decorations that we had considered paying full price for in December.   When I got home Roy seemed a bit frustrated with the whole process which is a complete surprise because he is so detail oriented and tedious jobs do not aggravate him at all.  We had planned on grilling out last night but because of the frustrations we opted for Mooyah hamburgers and sweet potato fries. 

It was MS 150 training yesterday and a lot of roads were blocked off for bike use and intersection traffic patterns controlled by law enforcement.  I needed to get over to old Katy to Katy Art and Frame.  I took several things over there last week and the one piece that means so much to me from Megan and Erin, well, the framing I had picked had been discontinued, so I went back and picked something else.  While on that side of the tracks and with all the bike traffic, I stopped in at K T Antiques and found a ornamental metal piece that will fit in with the piece we bought in Franklin, TN for our bedroom wall. 

So far so good.  I haven't been called by the Cardiologist office to reschedule my appointment on Monday.  There is usually one rebook at least.  I am eager to go because I learned something on the trip to Israel, my parameters to move and exist are far too constraining.  I didn't realize how much activity has been cut from life in order to feel better in doing nothing.  My sense of balance is not better like I had believed pre-trip.  Fatigue still dogs my steps at the least little exertion out of the normal.  I can feel my heart really trying to work hard and then really trying to go back out of rhythm.  It is an exhausting process and when that is added to the fact that most meds I am on slow me down considerably, it seems to me it is time for a change.  On top of all this I cannot get my knees worked on until the old ticker is doing much better.  Because of all the heart meds, I cannot take any pain pills.  Physically, it has been a drag but spirit wise, my attitude and approach to life is very optimistic.  I have read much more than usual and the time of silence and thought has been welcomed. 

The Wonderstruck challenge today is Letter.  We are to write a letter of gratitude to God.  Happy to do so.

Hebrews homework is calling and I've been avoiding the call.  Guess I'd better take it.  Happy Sunday!

A Journey Through the Afternoon

All is quiet out here near the ends of the earth.  Well, actually the ends of the earth goes farther west now.  The farm to market road nearby that gave the in the country feel is alive with houses both under construction and complete.  The newest section of Rancho De Five is full of building activity.  It won't be long till neighborhoods will be sprouting up around Hunt Retreat.  (Hunt Retreat owned by our church back in the day was out, way out, in the country.  Now the reality of housing growth will soon be at Hunt's backdoor.)

Among other books I am reading is The Art of Travel, Alain de Botton.   The book is described as "A thoughtful and anecdote-rich meditation on how trips can alter us in unexpected ways."  It is an excellent read to accompany my study of roads, paths and journeys in the Bible.  Alain is a travel writer by trade and his descriptions of his world travels gives the nudge in the spirit to travel the world but he equally gives words to travel that happens inside our minds and through our thoughts as well as creatively traveling about in familiar settings and seeing them with new eyes.  This book is weaving nicely into Wonderstruck.  In the chapter on Anticipation there were many sentences that caught my attention but I will whittle those down to be concise.  Every good travel website and brochure is crafted and then marketed with the thought of the artful and beautiful travel.  Pictures of beautiful beaches, mountains, five star hotel rooms and the like fill the brochure as well as our mind.  We fixate, if the travel brochure or website is doing its job, on the lovely, the calm, the serene, the sublime pleasure of being anywhere else but home with the all too familiar. 

"Artistic accounts involve severe abbreviations of what reality will force upon us.  A travel book may tell us, for example, that the narrator journeyed through the afternoon to reach the hill town of X and after a night in its medieval monastery awoke to a misty dawn.  BUT, we never simply 'journey' through an afternoon."

Instead of using his description of what journeying through an afternoon might look like, I will use our experiences of journeying to Israel.  We had our flight itinerary and the quick connection in Atlanta had some of us concerned that we could make the plane but maybe not our luggage.  The hurry up and wait to board the plane and then the hurry up because the plane is waiting and threatens to leave without us.  It is realizing it is better to travel out of Terminal C then Terminal A-better shops and food in C.  It is crammed quarters in economy and a mish mash of people constantly moving about the cabin.  All the sudden we develop OCD and constantly check for our tickets, passports, wallets and any and all paperwork that we will need for orderly travel.  It is long lines in customs, weary from little sleep and little stresses along the way.  Then we finally rejoice our luggage made it, we put it on the bus and settle into our seats...now the pictures and artful photographs come back to our perspective of what we hoped our trip to be.  We left from Houston and journeyed throughout the day till we arrived in beautiful Tel Aviv....with stops in Atlanta and JFK.  Of course no one, not even us want to dwell on the' journey through the afternoon.'  It is a deceptive sentence journeyed through the afternoon.  There is no such thing as journeying through an afternoon.  The nitty gritty of travel, frustrations, delays, mild amusements and the like, fill the time frame. 

This reminds me of Philippians 4.  Paul says he has learned to be content, he knows how to live, and he has learned the secret of living in every situation.

.  ¹¹ Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. ¹² I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. ¹³ For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. ¹⁴ Even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty.

 I think the first part of Philippians 4 might give us insight in how we can learn and know to be content with whatever we have, with plenty or little.  Paul didn't include the details of this journey through the afternoon here in Philippians, but he did here.

II Corinthians 11
I know I sound like a madman, but I have served him far more! I have worked harder, been put in prison more often, been whipped times without number, and faced death again and again. ²⁴ Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. ²⁵ Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. ²⁶ I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not. ²⁷ I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm.
²⁸ Then, besides all this, I have the daily burden of my concern for all the churches.


I don't know after surviving and going through the above circumstances and situations that I would be so joyous to proclaim I have learned, I know the secret.  I do know that situations and circumstances that have been painful and full of hurt for me have now become helpful when encouraging others who face similar things.  There indeed is an afternoon's journey in so many areas of my life.  And through mistakes, twists and wrong turns, through pity parties, anger, injustice, wounds, damage and harm, it didn't come to me instantly but with prayer, wise counsel and scripture in time, I have learned, I know the secret.  Really, it really isn't a secret but doesn't it sound good and enticing? 

And since we are right here in Philippians, this thought is for free.  I don't think we really understand verse 19, My God shall supply all my needs.  I haven't ever heard anyone speak or teach from this passage and say, in your generosity, like the Philippians to Paul, because of this giving spirit, God will supply all your needs.  If we don't attach generosity to this verse, I don't know if we are taking it in context.  Through the years I have heard so many 'claim' this verse in the midst of intense need and yet they are tight fisted, stingy and not very generous.  I'm not talking about money, but generous with spirit, words, acts of kindness and gentleness.  Paul seems to be saying thank you for taking care of me and in the same way God is going to take care of you.  I think this goes both to individuals like Paul and in ministry, like Paul.  Being generous doesn't always mean giving to an institution but to those who are under employed and don't qualify for any type of assistance whether it be from church ministries or government.  We sit with and talk with people who are straining to make ends meet every week at church, but we don't have a clue, unless we take the time to listen and to observe a little because generosity from an individual or family might help and minister. 

¹⁵ As you know, you Philippians were the only ones who gave me financial help when I first brought you the Good News and then traveled on from Macedonia. No other church did this. ¹⁶ Even when I was in Thessalonica you sent help more than once. ¹⁷ I don’t say this because I want a gift from you. Rather, I want you to receive a reward for your kindness.

¹⁸ At the moment I have all I need—and more! I am generously supplied with the gifts you sent me with Epaphroditus. They are a sweet-smelling sacrifice that is acceptable and pleasing to God. ¹⁹ And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

Friday Night Catch Up

I need to catch up on the Wonderstruck challenge.  I've been doing it but not posting anything about it.  The three days I need to catch up on are sky, stillness and dream.  With the last few days being so beautiful and dare I say spring like, doing all three at one time is not difficult.  Yesterday's challenge was stillness and Thursdays sometimes can be the busiest day of the week but I grabbed sometime yesterday afternoon to be still and know that He is God.  Looking at the sky and appreciating the beauty on Wednesday brought about such deep thankfulness for the foggy hues to the deep blue with puffs of white clouds.  Dream, today, has kind of been on the run.  This challenge is doing what it is intended to do, drawing me nearer to God and the wonder and awe of who He is. 

Roy took today off because we had workmen coming to our house.  He took advantage of the early morning and went to Good Ole Boys for breakfast.  He had jalapeno cheese grits and crab and shrimp tamales.  There is more standard fare, but that's not what Roy enjoys for breakfast.  It is now evening and he just ran to the store for ice cream.  He says breakfast has talked to him through his stomach all day.  I had a 10:00 pedi appointment but when I showed up, they didn't have me down.  In hindsight, I knew I must have had the wrong salon because when I asked for an appointment with Lisa the lady told me she only works on Saturday and Sunday.  It dawned on me, where I go is not open on Sunday.  Fortunately, Lisa wasn't booked at 10:00 and I got to have my regular visit with her.  Checked in with Roy after my appointment and work men were still here, so I ran over to Home Goods and found a few things I had no idea I needed for the house. 

Once all the guys working around here left, Roy and I grabbed lunch at Spring Creek and then headed over to Lowe's.  Ah yes, the joy of trading in an empty propane tank for a new one (this means Roy will be grilling again) and some top soil to fill in a couple of places in the yard where water has a tendency to stand.  We talked of making a few other stops on the way home but opted for the direct route home.  We were both so tired and I could feel the draw of a nap coming on. 

Last night I met Dena for dinner.  Both of our schedules have been a little hectic so we were both happy to find a Thursday night free.  Great fun and great conversations.  And I will add, great fajitas and grilled shrimp. 

I cannot even begin to express my love of choir and the direction and guidance of John Bolin.  We had a productive rehearsal as we went over a number of new songs for the spring.  I loved his encouragement of legacy and what a godly legacy looks like.  He read twenty off the top of his head sayings his father had instilled in him.  I'd like a copy of them.  Some were deep, some were full of common sense, and quite a few of them were rather funny. 

Since the temps are supposed to be rather nice tomorrow, I will probably finish clearing out the back flower bed and think through what I would like to plant this year.  Whole Foods opens on Wednesday and I read in the paper this morning that this Whole Foods will have a grilled cheese bar.  Now that is going to be something.  Then Spouts is opening in March and soon it will be time for the produce stand to open.  Going to be a healthy spring, well I guess grilled cheese isn't that healthy but it is good for the spirit. 

Wonderstruck Challenge-Relationship

Buddy is a very funny cat and for a cat that doesn't like any change on our part, she is full of change on her part.  Every couple of weeks we have to find her new hiding spot and we have to be very discreet about it or she will up and find a new one.  She has some habits that don't change, sitting in front of her food and water dish when she wants a treat, crawling onto my lap during the day if her paws are cold and on my arm if her paws are cold in the middle of the night.   She goes to her sunny spot in the mid morning and her hiding spot of late is on a blanket under our bed.Everything else she does is subject to change.  Right now her habit is wanting in the shower after one of us has taken a shower.  I didn't think that cats liked water. 

I had a Baylor dream last night.  Throughout the years I will dream I'm preparing to go to Baylor or I am attending Baylor.  The dreams vary from year to year.  Maybe I dreamed about going to Baylor last night because I watched the movie Rebbecca yesterday and the first line of the movie is, "last night I dreamed of Mandalay."The gist of the dream last night was, my father said he would let me attend Baylor and I was to give him the bill.  (in these dreams I am always the age that I really am in real life)  I had only registered for classes and hadn't paid any other fees or bought books.  I knew that my father would be quite upset at the cost and he would renege on his promise.  I fretted and worried in the dream because I knew the rug was going to be pulled out from under me.  Then Roy, like that segway, told me (still in the dream) why are you letting your father do this when you know I'd pay for you to go to Baylor in a heartbeat and you would go in style.  I woke up very pleased with the outcome of the dream.  Maybe I had the dream because of our discussion of Hebrews 9:16-18 and the example of a will and it only goes into effect when someone dies.  Someone in our group mentioned that having a will and providing for loved ones was such an act of immense love and that statement pierced me.  Throughout they years my father has held his will, both literally and figuratively, over our heads.  Bottom line is, he loves his money more than he loves his family and wants to control life from beyond the grave.  His money is his identity and the passion of his life. His threats and retracted promises no longer interest me but when we discussed wills and God's love, it caused a little burst of recognizing the sad truth of my father's life. 

So all of the above is to get to this; the Wonderstruck challenge yesterday was relationships. 

Wonder Challenge: Recognizing the person who is special to you, upload a photo, phrase, or shout out of love to Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, or your blog. Don’t forget to tag your friend and use hashtag #LIVEWONDERSTRUCK

I am so thankful for my husband Roy.  He is thoughtful (mostly), funny, generous, and compassionate.  His desire is always to walk in God's love and glorify God living out his daily life.  I am sorry that early on in our marriage I didn't appreciate these qualities and that I was more interested in winning the argument of the month, day, or moment.  He is a plan man and when one is not really a plan woman, you appreciate that he is thinking ahead.  He has goals and I am happy to report that my getting him to quit asking me what my goals are has finally been accomplished.  He knows I have them, don't like talking about them.  His love has made me a better person.  He is one of the smartest people I know.  He doesn't complain when I snore, wish I could say the same but I have a feeling my snores are cute and petite, not the loud rumblings he can produce.  He has had to take on a lot since my illness that began in 2008.  He is wonderful and I love him and I am so thankful for him.  My therapist once told me that I didn't make the mistake that most women can make, I didn't marry a man who is like my father.  She said many women do and they are looking for approval from the "type" of man their father is.  Early on, I knew that approval is never coming from him, so move on.  I am so glad I did, move on and meet the love of my life at Pennzoil in downtown Houston. 

I am also so thankful for friends.  God has always given me the best friends and all that they bring to life.  Where would I be without their love, counsel, laughter, wisdom and joy? 

And I will end where I began, Buddy.  She is one loved kitty.  Buddy came into our lives, even when we all thought she was a boy, at the right time.  She is a delightful cat, still full of whimsy, but I am ever so thankful that she requires even more sleep now that she is older. 

Wonderstruck Challenge-Silence

Yesterdays Wonderstruck challenge was silence.  Silence is not hard for me kind of like fasting last Sunday night because I usually don't eat dinner on Sunday night.  So when Pastor Gregg called for the Sunday evening fast...I didn't squirm.  On jot and tittle interpretation, I did have a snack because nothing was said about snacking but I fully understand what he was calling us as a church to do.  So if something amiss happens from my snack of a few pretzels before bed, I am truly sorry.  But back to silence.  When I have a day like yesterday, being at home ensconced, I rarely if ever turn on the TV or radio or music.  I love the silence, well except for that ringing in my ears, but that cannot be controlled.  It is more like a cicada sound, not ringing but once again I digress.  We were encouraged to express our silence, that seems like an oxymoron, in a word, phrase or picture.  I decided that to express my silence before the Lord that I would take a picture of the fog yesterday morning.  Somewhere in between that thought and missing the fog because it had burned off, were good intentions.  Fog is the perfect picture of silence to me; it slows everything down, except for a few wild drivers on I 10, it muffles the sound of cars, it casts the everyday scenery into a different light, and if you are in the fog you must keep focused.  Instead of looking at the big picture of the road ahead, your vision is directed at the few feet in front of your car.  So in my cone of silence and fog yesterday I heard quite a few things.  For one, I have been meditating on a passage in Deuteronomy, yes I am that spiritual she said laughing.  One phrase in particular caught my attention and I have been thinking about that phrase for the past four or five days.  Are you ready for this because you know it is coming, I was in a fog concerning this phrase, I could not get my brain or heart around it, but I knew it was important for me to understand.  I sometimes forget that Roy has all kinds of Bible software and commentaries on the computer as well as the volumes of commentaries, dictionaries, and study books behind me in the bookcases, you know because of the fog.  I began combing through a few of the books but could not find anything definitive on the passage but then...on a whim, I pulled out the chronological NLT study Bible I had bought last fall and low and behold, it had an explanation of the phrase and even better yet, it was an explanation that I could understand.  So I got out some paper and began writing the meaning of the phrase and how it applies to life and living a set apart life.  It all came together in the silence of the morning which is nothing like the song Call Me Angel of the Morning.  See the ADD is really bad today. 

Another moment of silence came this morning here at the computer.  I was all ready to blog, read some FB and Twitter when I discovered the Internet was down.  Now that my friends will really silence one.  I thought about going over my homework but that wasn't going to hold my attention, so I opened my Bible and read a passage in James.  Oh and I did it the way they all tell you not to do, but I just opened up my Bible.  It was just the thing I needed to read this morning and it dovetails into the phrase I had the ah ha moment about yesterday.  Love when that happens.  The Internet came back up later and I am happy to see it and catch up but I am also thankful for that morning silence with my ears attuned and my heart ready to receive that personal touch and the wonderful aspect of this to think over is, this was happening all over the world,  to many people,the personal touch of God.